The Bizarre Adventure of the Warhammer Guard

We are both humanity's shield and its spear. In this dark and cruel universe, only by advancing by any means necessary can we survive. So… I have good news: I've transmigrated; bad news: I'm in Holy Terra. And another good news: I've become a golden giant corn; bad news: I've been captured by a golden giant to work for. Okay, then… wait a minute. What does it mean that a vehicle killer is right next to me? What does it mean that "I need to regroup my troops"? And why is Earth moving? And what is this purple sweet potato spirit that collects gems? Never mind, anyway, I forgot the beginning, I forgot the end. Well then, let the galaxy… submit to humanity's feet!