Make Azeroth breathtaking

Chromie: Ha~ I've time-traveled again!
Chromie: But these buildings... What year is it now? Hey passerby! Hello, how's the current situation in the Alliance vs. Horde war?
Passerby: They stopped fighting a long time ago. Yesterday, King Varian of the Alliance and Lord Garrosh of the Horde teamed up to participate in the Ratchet Arena!
Chromie: Oh no! It's a branching timeline!
Another version of the introduction:
"My name is Tanis. I'm a Celestial, adopted as an infant by Father Gazlowe. I'm the same age as the Dark Portal, live in Ratchet, and am unmarried. I'm the second-in-command in Ratchet, exploited by my father. I work all night, don't smoke, drink occasionally, and always get at least an hour of sleep. Before bed, I detonate ten robots and review the bills. After falling asleep, I immediately enter a meditative state, waking up without any fatigue carrying over to the next day. Both the Alliance and the Horde think I'm a perfectly normal goblin tinkerer."
What are you trying to say?
"What I want to say is that I have no extravagant desires; I only enjoy technological research and making money. I'm not too obsessed with winning or losing, and I don't like trouble. But if anyone tries to disrupt my life, then... I don't care what you are... dragon, undead, demon... blast them all to the sky!"