The goal of life is to break up all couples

Hikigaya stared with dead eyes.

"Actually, President Fang Huyuan told me this when I went to the Student Union today to submit your application. Xiao Jing signed and stamped your application to join the Service Club and handed it over this morning. She obviously had this planned all along."

Matsueda Azusa crossed his arms, tutted, and shook his head, "Humph, she almost succeeded, and I almost lost one of my favorite generals! Luckily, I was a step ahead and used a backdoor to get President Fang Huyuan to prioritize the application form I submitted."

A dark exchange of power and sex! What on earth is wrong with this school? Hikigaya couldn't help but ponder, this must be a systemic problem.

Besides... forget about Hiratsuka-sensei, you're no better! You two are basically the same type of stand.

Hikigaya Hachiman complained quietly in his heart.

What qualifications does he have that these two societies are vying for him?

He is determined to return to his home.

"So...why me?"

Hikigaya asked casually.

In fact, Hikigaya didn't have much emotion about the fact that Shizuka Hiratsuka and Azusa Matsueda made the choice for him without considering his thoughts.

After all, in his opinion, all people are self-centered without exception. Even if many people refute this from ancient times to the present, they are a minority after all, because this is human nature.

People are born selfish, and those who are called stingy are simply magnifying their own nature. In other words, there is no such thing as true selflessness in the world. So-called selflessness is just a way for people to deceive themselves, and it has simply been popularized.

Shizuka Hiratsuka probably wanted to "save" the lonely and dark boy out of a sense of responsibility as a teacher, or perhaps out of self-satisfaction, and Azusa Matsueda... probably because the club was short of people.

"If you think I'm always alone, that's not necessary."

Hikigaya tried to find an excuse that would be considered noble by ordinary people, and then rejected it: "Lonely people are not pitiful, and they are not bad people just because they are lonely. I know that these are just my own arbitrary thoughts. However, I will not deny my past self. I will never say that it is a sin to spend time alone and that it is not good to be alone..."

"Uh, no."

Azusa Matsueda interrupted Hikigaya's long speech, scratched his cheek, and tilted his head to look at him: "Komachi asked me to do this."

Hikigaya's words ended instantly.

ah? Komachi? !

Hikigaya didn't expect to hear this name from Matsueda Azusa.

When did this guy Matsueda Azusa... get in touch with Komachi?!

Could it be that his target wasn't me, but my most adorable little girl?!

Hikigaya's heart was filled with alarm, and he absolutely could not let Komachi fall into the clutches of this strange pond surface in front of him.

Seeing Hikigaya's instantly confused expression, Azusa Matsueda said playfully, "Komachi-chan said, Onii-chan will definitely not be able to find friends at school. It must be lonely being alone, right? Please, Matsueda-senpai, you must help Onii-chan make friends."

"Impossible, absolutely impossible!"

Hikigaya panicked, "Komachi wouldn't say that..."

"It's just ordinary artistic processing. This is the charm of language."

Matsueda Azusa tsks and wags her finger: "This sentence scores very low with Komachi!"

Hikigaya, sank.

"How on earth did you..."

"Eh? Don't you know?"

Matsueda Azusa blinked innocently. "Numizu Yoshiki, the younger sister of the class next door, is also Komachi's classmate. I'm pretty close to Numizu, and one time when I was out strolling around, I happened to run into Komachi with them, so we got to know each other."

"By the way, our third member is Onmizu Kazuhiko."

Azusa Matsueda stopped and opened the door to the club's activities room. "It just so happens that we're here. Vice President Hikigaya, come and meet our club members."

The classroom seemed a little empty and deserted.

Most of the seats and tables were neatly stacked and cleared to the back of the classroom, leaving only a long table made up of six tables put together occupying the center.

A young man with brown-black hair, soft features, and a slightly frail appearance was sitting at a table, flipping through a light novel titled "Dreaming of Becoming a Master in the Sister Field!"

Next to him, a blue-haired girl was devouring a whole loaf of yokan. The table was littered with various snack bags, as well as sundaes and chips that had been brought into the school at some point—although they had all been eaten until only the packaging remained.

"Hey! Kazuhiko! Sorry for the wait."

Matsueda Azusa waved hello and pointed his thumb at Hikigaya Hachiman behind him: "This is my right-hand man, Hachiman the Great Bodhisattva! I have a feeling you two will definitely get along."

Hikigaya forced a smile and waved awkwardly, "Uh, um... I'm Hikigaya Hachiman, from the same class as Matsueda. Nice to meet you..."

Numizu Kazuhiko put down the light novel in his hand and said, "I heard about it from Matsueda. Please take care of me, Vice Minister Hikigaya."

Hey! Don't add that after your name!

Hikigaya felt like he was melting—Hey, why did a pink, abstract, unidentified object appear in his field of vision? Yabai, was he so embarrassed that he was hallucinating?

The blue-haired girl beside him also greeted Hikigaya, but she looked a little depressed, slumped over the table, "I'm Yanami Anna, please take care of me."

"Well done, Warm Water Team Member."

Songzhi gave a thumbs-up and praised, "You should call your job title when you're working."

This guy just wants to be called minister!

Numizu Kazuhiko and Hikigaya Hachiman complained in their hearts at the same time.

Eh? The two glanced at each other subconsciously.

It seems like I hit the radio waves.

When was the built-in intercom installed?!

Oh, it turns out that Hachiman is also eight, win eight, win!

"Clap!"

At this moment, Matsueda Azusa clapped her hands enthusiastically, jumped onto the table, and announced, "Alright, everyone, focus! Don't get distracted! The first club activity of the "Improper Relationship Supervision Department" is officially underway!"

Hikigaya Hachiman, who had been planning to just take a look around and leave, was stunned. "Huh? We're having a club activity right now?"

"Yes, the first client is this Yanami Kyouna-san."

Matsueda Azusa nodded seriously, "We must resolutely put an end to the unhealthy trend of impure relationships between men and women in school! The first person we have to stop—no, the first person we have to save is Yanami's good friend—Hakamada Sosuke!"

"Eh? Something about an impure relationship... I don't have any requests..."

Seeing Xingcai's lack of energy, Yana muttered, "Damn it, Kusuke is obviously my childhood sweetheart. When we were little, he put a ring made of white clover on my finger and said he would marry me as his bride...bride...wuwu..."

As she spoke, she took a big bite of the yokan. "Damn, this is super delicious."

"Um...so what's the situation now?"

Hikigaya raised his hand, confused. "Sounds like Hakamada-san dumped Yanami-san? Or maybe she's cheating on him? Eh... could it be that our club's real business is to eliminate scumbag men?"

Before Matsueda Azusa could answer, Yana-ken slammed the table in anger, "That's right! It's just that a slightly cuter transfer student with bigger breasts showed up, and he immediately switched his feelings to someone else... Damn it, if that pink cow girl hadn't suddenly appeared, we would definitely be dating now!"

Yana felt very upset to see that she had worked so hard for Sosuke, but in the end the peach was picked by Karen!

"etc……?"

Hikigaya understood. They weren't even in a relationship! At least they had to be lovers to be considered cheating, right? This was simply unrequited love...

Oh no! I'm recalling the unbearable past again. My brain, please forget it!

Hikigaya suddenly started banging his head on the table.

"Hey!"

Yana was startled and panicked: "Well, I'm not that sympathetic... Actually, I've already thought it through - maybe."

She said dejectedly, "I was the one who asked Kusuke to chase Karen back. Kusuke...when he and Karen were together, he was happy, and I was content. As long as we can still be friends, that's enough for me."

Stop talking, stop talking! If you keep going like this, I'm going to see you as my old self!

Hikigaya was caught in the terror of his dark history, holding his head in pain.

Wen Shui Heyan held his chin with one hand and sighed as he packed up the packaging bags on the table.

"Wrong! Big mistake!"

Matsueda Azusa jumped down from the table, walked over to the dejected Yanami, and slammed his hands on the table. "You're too small! You're too narrow-minded! I don't think you understand at all."

"Ming, what do you understand?"

Yana was so frightened that she almost dropped the yokan in her mouth.

"As Hakamada Sosuke's good friend, of course you want the best for him, don't you?"

Songzhizi is patient and persuasive.

"Of course... That's why I asked him to go find Hua Lian..."

"That's totally wrong! Do you know what stupid high school boys do when they find a girlfriend, especially in Japan?! That's why I'm so sad and angry!"

Songzhizi recited with compassion: "The wine grows stronger, and spring thoughts drift away. The mandarin duck embroidered quilt turns red waves. The silver needle pricks the peach blossom bud, but I dare not speak loudly, and I frown secretly!"

Yana saw the confused look on his face.

Wen Shuiheyan explained in a low voice.

Yana suddenly realized something, as if struck by lightning. She forced a smile and said, "No... That's impossible, right? It can't be that fast..."

"Deputy Minister, come on! Give her a good explanation!"

Songeda Azusa patted the table.

Hikigaya Hachiman, who was also sunk, exhaled his soul and pretended to be silent.

He actually didn't want to answer this question - in fact, he didn't agree with Matsueda Azusa's approach.

There are countless occasions when we cannot understand each other, we get angry when others pretend to know the whole thing, and we are thankful when no one asks us about it.

When I fell down while carrying a heavy bag on a rainy day, or when I was scolded by the teacher in front of the whole class, I would expect to say, "Please don't talk to me!"

So, it's about time we realize that knowing is risky, and there are many things that are better left unseen. A person's true feelings are the most quintessential example! Everyone lives in a state of self-deception to some degree. That's why the truth often hurts.

But Matsueda Azusa patted his shoulder again.

Hikigaya couldn't play dead any longer, so he agreed: "Yes, I testify that the male high school students in Japan are just such creatures."

Sorry, other innocent high school boys, Matsueda Azusa forced me to say this.

Hikigaya secretly repented in his heart.

3. Kid, you are invincible

Yanami's expression fell.

With the guidance of Matsueda Azusa and the evidence of Hikigaya, she did realize that after Sosuke won back Karen, the probability that their relationship would heat up on the same day, and that they would break the window paper and have sex quickly was almost over 90%.

She took a deep breath of Bingkuoluo, with a sad face: "This kind of thing... But even so, as long as Cao Jie is happy..."

Good man, you are a real turtle!

A tribute to the legendary Turtle King Lao Ba.

Songzhi Zi couldn't help but salute, "You are invincible, kid. From now on, they will definitely ask you to push their butts when they have something to do."

Wen Shuiheyan was so shocked by Matsueda Azusa's blunt words that he choked and couldn't help coughing violently: "Ahem, we are all just ordinary students, there shouldn't be such a mess..."

Seeing that her defense was broken, Yana shed wide noodles tears.

Now that things have come to this, let’s eat first.jpg

Hikigaya sighed, thought for a moment, and finally spoke weakly, "To be honest, I don't think the Minister should care about what you think..."

Based on his understanding of Matsueda Azusa, this should be the case.

"Bingo!"

Matsueda Azusa snapped his fingers. "Even so, ignoring the client's wishes isn't my style. So, let me explain this to you—you want Hakamada Sosuke to live a happy life, right?"

Yanami nodded silently.

She was a little hesitant to speak, fearing that after she answered, Songzhi Zi would mock her as a turtle, so she had no choice but to continue eating snacks with a "grunt".

"Okay, then please imagine this - after Kuda Kusuke fell in love with Himemiya Hana, he became a captive of the pink busty devil, reveling every night, indulging in her gentle pleasures..."

Songzhi Zi gritted his teeth, his tone sinister and terrifying: "If this continues, his physical fitness will decline significantly due to lack of energy. Forget physical fitness tests. Even running 50 meters will make him out of breath and collapse."

"Besides that, his memory and IQ will be severely damaged. No knowledge will enter his brain anymore, and all he will have left is a desire for bigger breasts. His test scores will plummet, and he won't be able to continue his studies. After graduation, he won't be able to find a job, and will become a useless person."

"Because he can't find a job, he can only rely on his parents and girlfriend, living a life of mediocrity. After entering society, Himemiya Karen will definitely meet more outstanding men. In contrast, with her good looks and outstanding popularity, she will definitely abandon Kusuke and move towards a better future."