I am the emotional sustenance of your deceased

　In an instant, Li Xi's half-closed eyes widened.

　"This is Chitose's bedroom. How could I be so...disrespectful? The me lying on the floor right now and the me sitting at the piano that day...are completely different."

　She is so great.

　She is really great.

　That day, Riki couldn't help falling down, and sat on the stage floor, looking up at Noshiro Chitose's back.

　Ah... Why am I so miserable now? In Qiansui's bedroom, Li Xi felt that his existence was a blasphemy.

　"No, no, no..."

　Li Xi finally stood up despite the dizziness.

　She opened the curtains completely, lay down on the desk, and struggled to feel the baptism of the sun.

　Facing the sun, she was in agony like a burning vampire.

　"Words, Xiao Sui's words."

　This is one of the last thoughts that Sui left for himself, and Li Xi must finish reading it.

　If the appearance of a thousand years will eventually become blurred as time passes, then let the words continue to recall your memories.

　When she wiped away her tears with her sleeve, Shiina Riki realized that there was no place on her sleeve that was not stained with her tears.

　“…” Because she couldn’t see clearly, she brought the diary closer to her face.

　Because he was so afraid that his tears would destroy the diary, Li Xi had to put it away.

　March 15th, sunny

　The diary continued from where Lixi had peeked last time.

　Li Xi saw it.

　She saw many interesting little things from the past, and countless stories from Chitose's perspective.

　"So... every performance, every rehearsal... every date, you carefully wrote it down."

　"Thank you so much, Xiaosui... If you hadn't written it down, I'm afraid I would have forgotten it."

　The more I look at it, the more uncomfortable I feel, and the more I look at it, the more I feel that life is meaningless.

　The diary belonging to the girls records the beautiful moments of the girls, but when the owner of the diary passes away, all the beauty turns into a piercing blade.

　Actually, it’s not just a diary.

　Lixi's delicate body was trembling, and soft whimpers kept coming out of her throat.

　Actually, ever since Chitose left...

　Every inch of land in Yuqiu, every kind of food he could think of, every blade of grass and tree in Tokyo, every cloud lingering in the sky...all became the devil's whisper that made Lixi collapse.

　As long as he was breathing, he would think about dying, but Li Xi knew that dying would be of no use.

　She flipped through the diary absentmindedly, her mind no longer on it.

　But Lixi is still climbing over.

　She just climbed over, and that was all she needed to do.

　"So, so many things happened in the past year?"

　Haha, because I have been in the vortex called happiness for a long time, have I forgotten those little bits of happiness?

　What about now? Now that the wind has died down and the rain has dispersed... have you finally realized that you don't like Chitose, but that you love her?

　It's too late, Shiina Tatsuki.

　Noshiro Chitose's four hearing aids were wiped clean and lay quietly in front of Li Xi's hands. The different patterns on them represented different stages of Chitose.

　But Lixi didn't pay attention to them, she was still reading Qiansui's diary.

　The diary was very long, and reading each page was difficult. But Li Xi also disliked the diary being too short, because after all, it would have an end.

　Time passed slowly, and when the orange light of the Demonic Hour illuminated the tears gathered on Lixi's chin, she finally saw the last page of the diary.

　[Lixi, will you ever see my diary one day?]

　"Yes... I saw it."

　[If you see this one day, it means I've left before you, right? ]

　Correct.

　You liar.

　"You big liar... You clearly didn't want to live with me until I'm a hundred from the very beginning... You could have told me earlier, why did you keep letting me hope... Why!"

　Hit the table hard, Shiina Riki

　I can no longer control my emotions.

　She had read all of Chitose Noshiro's diaries... basically all of them!

　Memories that her brain had subconsciously ignored to protect her emotions came back.

　Li Xi suppressed her distraught emotions and continued reading. But the following words made her brain go blank in an instant.

　[I didn't expect you to have grown so big... It really makes me feel how fast time flies.]

　W-what do you mean?

　What has grown so big...is it possible?

　A terrible guess was born in Shiina Riki's mind, but she was not sure of her thoughts.

　She turned the paper forward a few pages, her hands shaking violently. Shiina Riki raised her head and didn't dare to look at the diary again.

　That familiar feeling of despair is back... The last time I felt this desperate was a month ago.

　At that time, Li Xi asked himself a question, which was [What would Chitose's reaction be if she knew that it was me who caused her to become deaf].

　Li Xi's answer to himself was "Chitose will definitely forgive me", and this is what makes people despair.

　Because Chitose Noshiro is such a person, such an... angel.

　Li Xi calmed down and punched her chest from time to time. After a series of muffled thuds, she mustered up the courage to climb back over.

　[Actually, I recognized Li Xi from the beginning, but this idiot didn't seem to recognize me... She's still so clumsy, just like when she fell into the water as a child.]

　“…” Shiina Riki crushed the pen at hand. That’s what happened.

　-

　Ch245. Toyokawa… Xiangzi! I’m here to see you!

　So...she already knew it?

　Sure enough, it is just as expected.

　Chitose Noshiro is indeed such a person.

　"Hahaha."

　Li Xi couldn't help laughing.

　She was so desperate, really so desperate.

　She hopes Chitose hates her and humiliates her with all the dirty words in the world... This will make Shiina Riki feel at ease.

　But the only thing I can't do is forgive her... This is the only thing that won't work.

　"I really...you...you..."

　Why have you never!

　"Blame me!"

　Lixi's soul trembled along with his vocal cords.

　"Your life is clearly in a quagmire... why are you still thinking of granting me forgiveness?"

　You never bring up the drowning incident in front of me...Are you afraid that I will become consumed by internal friction and feel guilty?

　"How could this happen? It was indeed a mistake for me to approach you and try to make amends with you in the first place... This only hurts you, Xiaosui."

　Who killed Noshiro Chitose?

　It's Shiina Tachibana.

　It was Shiina Riki who killed Noshiro Chitose.

　"Shiina Riki committed a heinous crime. First, he took away Chitose's hearing when she was six or seven, then he took away her health when she was fourteen or fifteen... and a year later, he even took her life."

　Ahhh…don’t think about it anymore!

　Covering his face in extreme pain, Li Xi's world collapsed at this moment.

　She was out of breath and yelled meaningless onomatopeia at the top of her lungs.

　"Ahhh! Why! Why does God want to play with our fate like this...Ahhh!"

　Why did we go to the lake for dinner that day!

　Why be different?

　Why do you want to go and meet Chitose again with such a smug look on your face?

　Why did he want to get so involved in her life? Why did he want to take over everything she had? Why did he want to stop her dreams?

　She has forgiven you so much...and you, Shiina Riki, why don't you let her go!

　"I really, really deserve to die."

　In a state of extreme pain, Shiina Riki fainted.

　But she didn't seem to have completely lost consciousness. She seemed to be dreaming, but Li Xi felt that she was extremely awake.

　"Xiao Lixi? What's wrong with you?"

　Li Xi's ears were surrounded by a voice that was very familiar to him.

　It's Chitose who's speaking! It's Chitose...it can't be wrong!

　"Xiao Sui?"

　【Is that you, Xiao Sui? Is that you, Xiao Sui! 】

　Li Xi tried to look around and found that she was lying on the bed, and in her arms was his silver-haired girl.

　Is this... the night Chitose said he would give her a surprise?

　"I, I seem to have had a very bad dream, Xiao Sui..."

　Li Xi hugged the thin girl tightly, with countless thoughts in his heart that he wanted to express.

　"Did you have a dream? What kind of dream was it?"

　Chitose's face was blurry, but Shiina Riki was convinced that it was Chitose Noshiro.

　【Little Years…】

　Li Xi wanted to pour out all the anger and frustration in his heart, but the words only condensed into a short sentence.

　"miss you."

　"Silly boy, haven't I been here the whole time? Little Lixi is still acting like a baby and loves to act like a spoiled child."

　Just let him be a baby, and let him act like a spoiled child if he likes to act like a spoiled child. It doesn’t matter.

　Hugging Chitose tightly while crying, Shiina Riki asked the question that he wanted to ask most.

　"Xiao Sui, did you really know from the beginning...that it was me who caused you to become deaf?"

　"Yes."

　A few words can sting the heart more than the sharpest sword.

　"Have you...never blamed me? Even though I caused you to suffer from depression, crushed your music dream, took away your family and future, and even...tried to...

　Take control of your life."

　"It's okay, Riki. Chitose doesn't care about that."

　"Don't care? Why can't you care? That's your life..."