I am the emotional sustenance of your deceased

　The dazzling white-haired girl later turned into a small box.

　Her hearing impairment did not limit her freedom.

　Anorexia could not become a shackle that bound her.

　Neither his fragile body nor Shiina Riki himself can do it.

　But now, a clumsy wooden box, neither too big nor too small, confines Chitose Noshiro's world.

　The girl who was as proud as a crow all her life never bowed her head until her death.

　Rainy day. Another rainy day. Damn rainy day.

　Damn damn damn.

　Noshiro House...was left to Riki in Chitose's will.

　It was not until he obtained ownership of the house that Li Xi learned that Qiansui had left a will.

　"So what you said... about not performing in a month, and spending the rest of your life with me quietly in a month... turned out to be a lie."

　The sound of raindrops falling is so noisy and disgusting.

　Li Xi couldn't stand any noise in the world for even a second.

　There was no light in the room, so she sat barefoot on Chitose's piano chair, looking at Chitose's photo on the side of the piano.

　"fraud…"

　"fraud."

　"fraud!"

　She wanted to yell, but how could Li Xi, who hadn't been willing to say harsh words to Chitose when she was alive, be mean to her after her death?

　His dazed eyes slowly scanned the decorations in the room.

　Every inch of the wall and floor is engraved with a memory belonging to Chitose and her.

　In the past, these memories were just snacks for Lixi to enjoy when he was daydreaming.

　Now... it has turned into a dense network of small wounds on her body.

　These ones

　The wound cannot heal and is bleeding all the time.

　"age…"

　Li Xi subconsciously wiped the corners of her eyes. She felt tears there, but felt nothing.

　"Can't you cry anymore? Sigh."

　Why can't I cry anymore?

　Thinking about it carefully, Lixi hadn't cried much since the performance accident. It was not until she returned to Chitose's house that she could no longer hold back and cried for several days in a row.

　"age."

　Do you hate me so much?

　岁。

　The stiff torso wandered around the small house, and Li Xi felt like he had become the earthbound spirit of this place.

　"You really hate me... Otherwise why would you be my best friend?"

　You gave me the most precious love in the world, but in the end you took her away.

　How much do you hate me?

　How much do you hate me?

　Lying on that big bed, it was like returning to Qiansui's arms. No one had ever taught Lixi how to deal with such a situation.

　"Why did things turn out like this, why?"

　Mingming, we agreed to grow old together.

　We agreed to be together for the rest of our lives, and now we have met my parents and sister, and have been living together for almost a year.

　How could my life end so suddenly?

　"Burning... When you say burning, do you mean burning your entire life... just for your pursuit? Is the burning you're talking about like a moth, feeling the splendor of the flame before it flies into the flame?"

　Starting with a whisper, the voice opposite Li Xi gradually became louder.

　She punched the wall, feeling sad and depressed.

　"Then why do you want to!"

　Why should...

　"Let me get to know you! Why? I really, I..."

　Li Xi hammered the wall again and again, roaring hysterically.

　Suddenly, a sentence flashed through her mind like a flash of lightning.

　Thank you, Lixi! If it weren't for your encouragement... I don't think I would have been able to take this step! I love you the most... Thank you for your support! 】

　Thank you...who?

　what.

　"Thank me?"

　It turns out that...

　“So it’s still me.”

　The confusion of many days completely dissipated in the pain in my arm at this moment.

　Li Xi collapsed on the bed in a daze, and finally figured everything out.

　If Chitose had not met me when she was six years old, she would not have become deaf and her physical condition would not have deteriorated forever.

　If Chitose hadn't met me when she was fourteen, she would never, absolutely never have joined the band.

　Even if it wanted to burn, it would burn quietly for many years, not like it is now... because the painful disease decided to burn completely, and eventually died in the fight against fate.

　Lixi gritted her teeth. It was the first time she hated someone so much.

　She almost hated herself.

　If... yes, if I had rejected Chitose's request a month ago and disagreed with Crychic's third resurrection...

　Even if Chitose is locked up, even if she is coaxed and pleaded with every day, even if she is begged on her knees... she cannot be allowed to go against Toyokawa Shoko.

　Anger was instantly overwhelmed by infinite sadness.

　“How did it become like this?”

　"how come…"

　It turns out that it was all my fault, Shiina Riki.

　"It was me who killed Xiaosui. It was me..."

　Ahhhh, wuwuwu——

　Lixi huddled in the corner with her knees hugged. She felt a hard book pressing against her waist.

　She subconsciously took it out, not caring to look at it, but just covered her face with it.

　"Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu"

　I want to die.

　There was no hope in this life to begin with, and now I have destroyed my own life and the lives of others.

　"Me! Damn it!"

　Want to destroy something.

　I want to imitate Chitose and cut my wrists.

　The paper was stuck to Lixi's face because of her tears. She didn't want to destroy Xiaosui's relics, so she had to take the diary away.

　"Ugh."

　I must be as miserable as a stray dog ​​right now.

　Shiina Riki's eyes were red as he looked at the handwriting in the diary that was blurred by tears, and his heart felt even more sad for no reason.

　Can’t he even protect Chitose’s diary himself?

　"I'm such a loser, I..."

　Li Xi flattened the paper with his thumb and stared at the page he had casually opened in a daze.

　She had never seen this page before... Was it something Xiaosui had written this year?

　What did she write?

　She wrote:

　"I love you more than anyone else. I want to be with you forever. If I could give up music in exchange for your longevity, I would do it without hesitation..."

　But that's not the case, so I don't want to give up my dream. That's why I keep pursuing it. That's why I live like myself, and that's why you like me.

　[I think of you every moment, but please... let me continue to pursue my dreams.]

　"You guy..."

　Love?

　So it was love?

　Lixi burst into tears. In fact, she had been avoiding Qiansui's various initiatives... and had been using "liking" to numb herself.

　But when Chitose Noshiro passed away, leaving her alone to survive in the world, Shiina Riki realized that she did not like Chitose Noshiro.

　She actually is, she is in love with her thousand years old.

　Ch244. I never blamed you from the beginning

　March 15th, sunny

　The diary starts here

　Yes.

　His vision became blurry due to long periods of tears, and the lights in the house were dim. Only natural light came in through the gaps in the curtains that Li Xi had accidentally smashed a few days ago.

　The light shone quietly on Lixi, allowing Lixi, who was kneeling on the bed sheet with a diary in his hand, to see the words clearly.

　She choked up, suppressing the urge to run downstairs and cry while hugging Qiansui's urn, and began to quietly read the words that Xiaosui left in this world.

　Words have power.

　This moment is the manifestation.

　Shiina Riki had almost forgotten where she had last read. She kept flipping through the pages, more anxious than a madman seeking the truth in a book.

　Last time...ah, this is it!

　That day was the first time the band broke up, and that night they smashed their guitars together.

　A year has passed since that day.

　"Time flies so fast, so fast that my little age will never come back...haha."

　It hurts so much, it hurts all day and night.

　Her head began to feel dizzy. The insomnia and long nightmares all night long drained Lixi's spirit. She wanted to vomit, but finally held it back.

　She covered her head and remained silent for a long time. Li Xi lost control of her body briefly and rolled off the bed.

　In the scattered dust, Shiina Riki lay for a long time before he managed to stand up.

　"I'm so tired."

　Go to sleep, no one will blame you.

　Go to sleep.

　Can--