I, who advocate giving up, feel like a disqualified person

Next... that should be it.

"Yehui..."

Right next to her ear, his breath kept ruffling the hair around her ear as he whispered to himself.

"Wha...what is it?"

“..I’m a liar.”

As soon as she finished speaking, before she even opened her eyes, the hands on her shoulders loosened. When she opened her eyes and looked around, she saw only a figure running quickly towards the rooftop not far away.

“The state—!”

She tried to catch up, but her legs gave out and she fell to the ground. As she jumped down, Sheji, who had heard her cry, tried to turn around and look at her, then fell straight down.

...

Maybe I did something unforgivable.

When I saw Ye Hui's desperate eyes, I realized what my expression was when I saw her body after falling. No one wants to see someone important to them leave.

In the end, I still left Ye Hui with bad memories... I clearly wanted her to be happy. In the end, was I still wrong? Would it have been better if I had really kissed her on the lips?

The sound of the wind in my ears began to grow louder, and the edge of the teaching building became farther and farther away in my eyes.

I couldn’t see the surrounding scenery clearly, I couldn’t see many things clearly... I was falling very quickly.

"Wow——"

It seemed as if something resilient had blocked it. A strong pain immediately arose in my body, and then I saw many things—

It's said that when a person is near death, they see the people they care about, or the people who are very important to them. But most of them probably think of things that happened in the past... but in my mind, she is the only one.

"Boom——"

There was a muffled sound.

It seemed to come from my body...and the pain immediately rushed in from all directions.

“Ahhhhh——” “Help…” “Someone jumped off the building…”

The surroundings have become noisy.

But I couldn't see anything at all... It hurt so much, I was in deep pain everywhere.

“Ha…haha…”

My breathing became very rapid.

Fortunately, the pain started to numb. I even felt a warm and comfortable sensation. It was truly a wonderful experience.

dark.

. . .

dark.

dark.

The darkness gradually dissipated.

Like a point of light shining in from afar, the light grew stronger and stronger, so strong that I couldn't help but want to close my eyes. But I always felt something was wrong.

"The state."

".."

It felt like someone was calling me.

"Isaji~"

Ah, yes, this is my name...it seems someone is calling me.

"I'm garbage~~"

"Don't call me trash!...?!" While I was angry, I suddenly realized something.

Only one person knows this nickname. Only one person in the world can call it out.

"..So you are here."

I turned around and saw the person calling my name. My eyes seemed to moisten for a moment.

"Because I've been waiting for you."

It looked like she hadn't had her hair cut in ages. The hair on her forehead was simply combed down to her ears, and the long hair behind her back had already fallen to her feet. She was much taller than I remembered... She was prettier and more mature than I had remembered... Most importantly, she still remembered me.

"..Me too.."

His voice seemed to choke.

"Since then... I have always wanted to see you. I really want to see you, Ru Meng... this is not a dream, right? It is not a dream..."

I tried to walk towards her and put my shaking hand on her cheek. And that touch... could be felt.

"Of course this is not a dream."

She met my gaze and spoke seriously.

There is no easy answer

Finally, he reached the end of his journey. Fortunately, it wasn't completely empty. Truth and falsehood no longer mattered; simply seeing her face was enough.

Chapter 18: The answer cannot be easily obtained

This feeling is really strange.. I seem to still be conscious. I can still remember the moment I jumped from the building.

"I've been waiting for you here for a long time." She smiled and sat down, inviting me to join her. "But I don't have any idea of ​​time anymore, so it doesn't matter."

"...I see." Speaking of which, this incident happened because of me. "I really am sorry for you."

"No way, this is all fate." She didn't seem to care about the fact that she was already dead. "Besides, I don't want to live a life of wandering around... At such a young age, if I ran into some bad guy, wouldn't it be worse than being at the hands of that bastard?"

"..There must be a better way."

I am still upset.

"But it's pointless to say this now..." She sighed slightly. "Come to think of it, I thought you would come to meet me in an older look. Why did you come so early?"

"Eh?" This question really hit me. "..Actually, I just thought I could see you this way, so...I gave it a try."

Anyone who jumps off a building because of something like this must be mentally ill. And apparently, I am the epitome of mentally ill.

"...it seems like you really want to see me." A smile appeared on her face. "I still occupy a lot of place in your heart."

"Of course. Although I've forgotten about you for a while... the emptiness in my heart reminds me that I must never forget someone." I turned my gaze to her face. "So, I've been thinking about ways to see you."

"...you..." A hint of helplessness crossed her face. Perhaps she was thinking of me before. "You haven't changed at all. You're really stubborn about some things."

"..It's so good to see you again." I reached out and held her hand, which was touchable. "I must say now what I didn't say before."

"..Are you going to confess to me?" she said half-jokingly.

"Of course, you are my favorite girl. And the girl I want to protect the most..." I didn't feel shy.

However, the ending changed because of me.

"I've done nothing for you."

"That's not true. You've certainly done a lot for me. It's just my bad luck..." She gradually tightened her grip on my hand. "Ever since then, I've been wondering... if you'd resent me when you heard I left. Now it seems you really can't let it go."

"..This kind of thing can't be let go just by saying so." Now that things have come to this, I don't know how to deal with it.

"Actually, I hope you can forget my existence, and don't even know about my death...because that way you will have the best chance of finding happiness."

“..How could I possibly forget.”

"In that case, how about living on with my hopes in mind?" She leaned closer to me. "I'm no longer in that world, and you're the only one I'm very close to. You're the only one who can fulfill this wish of mine."

"..But.."

I want to be with her like this forever.

"It's easy to die. It's precisely because of this that it's so difficult to live... And it's precisely because this world isn't beautiful that the beauty that happens by chance seems so precious... I feel very lucky to have met you." She suddenly hugged me in her arms. "I know you want to be with me forever... But that's no longer possible. So, I hope you can live."

"No... If you're not here with me, what's the point of living?"

"Don't say such willful things." Her arms tightened around me. "You have gentle parents whom I envy, a peaceful and warm childhood... and many friends who care about you. These people are the reason for your life."

"..."

"I'm very happy. You think I'm so important... I'm really happy."

I stared blankly at the darkness before me, quietly feeling the embrace of that fragile body, so fragile that it seemed fake and could disappear at any moment.

"But I'm not everything in your life. Don't take me too seriously... You should cherish yourself more."

".."

Why does everyone keep telling me this? I don't understand.

"I've received so much from you... friendship, joy, happiness, love... It's wonderful to be able to experience these emotions before leaving this world."

“Stop talking…”

I don't know how to respond to such words.. It's really strange, why is it like this...

"I have to tell you, because we finally met." She didn't loosen her arms. "I've been waiting for you for a long time... I have a lot to say to you."

".."

"Actually, I didn't mean to like you at first. I just thought you could help me get rid of that bastard dad, so I deliberately said that to attract your attention."

".."

"I'm a scheming person. Growing up in a family like that, it's only natural that I'd develop that kind of personality... So I'm not undeserving of help, and that's true. I really just wanted to use someone from the beginning, and choosing you was just a coincidence." She paused briefly. "But, meeting you is truly the luckiest thing that has ever happened to me in my short life."

"..."

"If I hadn't met you, I wouldn't have imagined how miserable my fate would have been. But one thing I can be sure of is that if it had been someone else, I wouldn't have had so many wonderful memories... So, it's enough that my life ends like this."

"What are you talking about? Of course this isn't enough!"

"The state..."

"Do you know how many sequels your favorite anime has had? Do you know how many things you're interested in now? Do you know... how many times I could take you on the Ferris wheel right now? Do you know how much I want to see your happy face? You still have a long life ahead of you! There are so many things you can experience... Don't say 'enough is enough'. How can I help you realize your wish? If that's enough, how can I help you realize your expectations?"

"...I see."

She gradually loosened her arms, then separated from me, put her hands on my face, and looked at me seriously.

"I won't say I'm satisfied anymore... because I still have a lot of regrets."

"Ah..." That's right, now I can feel at ease.

"Can you experience all of this for me?" Her eyes welled up with tears. "Can you find my own happiness for me... Can you listen to me, take care of yourself, and live a normal life?"

"..with great pleasure."

If this is her wish, I will definitely make it happen for her.

"..We have an appointment."

"Ah."

At this moment, the surrounding darkness was suddenly illuminated by many beams of light. And in the field of vision, the place where those lights were projected was a passage similar to a door frame.

"..I should leave." She looked around and said to me.

"..."

Just like every common street, many figures come and go, coming out from different passages and going into different tunnels.

"Are they all...people who have left this world?"

I stared at those strange and ethereal figures in a trance.

"That's right, it's just a matter of time... It takes a long time for people to step into this place." She looked at me, "But it's not time for you to take this path yet."

"Where are you going? Can you stop for a while?"

I suddenly felt a little panicked. I tried to grab her hand, but it was gone.