I, who advocate giving up, feel like a disqualified person

"..."

It's a pretty clear thing to go in and take a look...but I can't do that, after all, I don't know how to open a lock or anything like that.

I tried pressing the dusty doorbell, but of course, there was no sound. Even if I did press it... there was no chance anyone would open the door.

"Dong dong dong——"

But I still knocked on the shabby door.

"Dong-dong-dong—dong-dong-dong—"

It was as if he didn't realize there was no one here anymore, as if he was expecting someone to respond. It felt like he was trying, then increasing his strength, and then stopping.

"..."

The first step is completed.

Then the next step is the most important one.

I turned and looked at the door behind me. Although I didn't know if there was anyone there... it was definitely more likely than Yao Qiong's house.

"Ding Dong—Ding Dong—Ding Dong—"

The default is three rings.

"Who-"

Even though it was a normal question, the door was still opened without any warning. The person who appeared before him was a middle-aged woman who was estimated to be in her forties, not very tall.

"...excuse me."

Judging from the apron she was wearing and the smell of food coming from the room, she seemed to be busy doing housework.

"Em, you're?"

"Well... actually, I came here to look for the family next door to you... I've been taken care of by them before, and now I happened to come here and wanted to visit, but no one answered the door. Is it because Mr. Yao is out?"

Without blushing or beating his heart, he told the story of his origin that he had made up long ago.

"Oh... No wonder I heard someone knocking on the door next door just now. I thought it was a salesman or something."

"..."

"Don't you know? There's no one left at Mr. Yao's house."

"Eh...? When did that happen?"

I'm used to pretending to be ignorant.

"It's been several years... and you don't look very old, so how did you know him?"

. . . . . . . . . .

In the absence of a way to verify, people will only believe what they believe. In this case, no matter what I say, as long as it is reasonable and there is nothing strange on my face, it won't give me away.

"Excuse me... You must be very busy right now. I'm sorry to waste your time."

When I was about to explain, she took the initiative to welcome me into her home and served me snacks to entertain guests.

"It's okay, it's okay. After all, you came all the way here. It's kind of weird to go back without knowing anything, right?"

"...Too..."

As long as she's curious about me, it's a good thing. At least I can know that she knows something about Yao Qiong's family.

"My father and Mr. Yao met briefly at the time, and their relationship wasn't very close. But when he heard my family was in financial difficulty, he generously contributed and paid part of my tuition. I can say that the fact that I'm able to earn a university degree now is entirely thanks to Mr. Yao."

Sorry, Dad, for dragging you into this without my permission.

"I see... I was wondering if you didn't look like a high school student."

"..."

How should I put it? I feel like I'm pretty good at lying.

"I later heard that something seemed to have happened to his wife, but my father was too busy with work, and the situation at home hadn't improved, so he had no time to look after him. I was also busy with school at the time, and I was still in middle school. Even if I wanted to help, I didn't have the ability to do so."

"Yeah, that makes sense..." She nodded.

"So, what happened at Mr. Yao's home? Is there anything I can help with? Also, if you know where Mr. Yao and his family are now, could you tell me?"

"Don't worry, don't worry, young man - have some tea and calm down."

"...sorry...sorry..."

With a slightly trembling hand, he picked up the teacup on the table, but just as he raised it to his mouth, he put it back, "Auntie, you should just tell me..."

"No, how can I tell you when you're like this..."

"..."

It seems that I was too excited, which made her afraid that something might happen to me... Well, I'll just calm down for the time being.

So I picked up my teacup and stared at the corner of the wall for a while. This should be enough.

"Are you alright, young man?"

She still seems worried about my feelings. It's not nice to use this kind of acting to deceive people, but now that she's done it, she might as well just go through with it.

"...Could it be...something particularly serious has happened?"

I didn't respond directly, but instead expressed my guess while still looking at the corner. I deliberately made the guess a little off-base to make it seem more realistic.

"....this...."

"Is... is it... Aunt Yao... she's sick and is in the hospital now? Mr. Yao went to take care of her, right?"

He bit the tip of his tongue deliberately, and when he turned his head to look at her in pain, his eyes were already filled with tears.

"Looking at you like this...Auntie, I can't bear to hide it from you anymore."

“…”

"There is only one daughter left in his family now. The couple have passed away."

“…”

There was a long silence. Then his gaze slowly shifted from shock to indifference. Then, he fixed his gaze on something not far away, his eyes definitely out of focus.

“…Yes, when did this happen?”

My voice suddenly became hoarse. It sounded like I was about to cry... but it was just because my throat was uncomfortable to begin with, and a little control had that effect.

"I've said it before...it's been years."

"Then, what about his daughter? At least let me return the money to his daughter..."

"I don't know where she went. It seems she was adopted by a relative."

"Really... I didn't expect it to be like this..." I sighed, "I thought I would have a chance to repay him... I didn't expect that I would be so late."

"Don't say that... If you can get into university now and become successful in the future, it will be the best way to repay your Uncle Yao."

"that's true."

Anyway, I have to smile bitterly now, "This is all I can do..."

"Cheer up and live well. That's your reward."

Live well...?

I always feel that it is still a difficult thing for me.

Even though it's a made-up story, after getting into the role... it's still quite sad. If I really knew her and had some connection with her, maybe things would have turned out differently.

Moreover, the fact that his fabricated story about helping someone was not doubted also shows that his neighbors think he is a good person.

"...Excuse me...The journey is long, I'd better go back now."

He bowed to her, picked up his umbrella and water cup, and prepared to leave for the door.

"Wait a minute, young man."

“…”

He actually called me on his own initiative.

According to my thinking, either she called me and told me something; or I walked to the door and pretended to suddenly remember something, and then naturally asked the question I wanted to ask.

"Is there anything else?"

"...Although we can't see him in person now. However...we did help him a little after the accident. After all, we got along well...If you want to say a few words to him, I can tell you where he is buried."

"..."

I thought... he was going to tell me the cause of his death. But it's not surprising to have such a conversation...

"Then...then please tell me the address."

"No rush." ​​She came over and patted my shoulder. "You came all the way here, you probably haven't eaten yet, right? I'll take you there after dinner."

"...This...this is too much trouble for you - and there must be more than one person in the family. I really feel sorry for disturbing you..."

As the saying goes, too much talk leads to mistakes.

If I were asked questions by my family at the dinner table, even if I was a good liar, I couldn't guarantee that I wouldn't say something inconsistent.

"Besides... I'm only here to repay your previous support. I have other things to do, so I can't stay long."

"That can't be helped..." She sighed, "If only all the young people nowadays were as steady as you."

"..."

In fact, he was just pretending to be steady.

"Then I'll go get some paper and pen. Please wait a moment."

"Um..."

The time is almost here. Sure enough, I still need to take the initiative to bring it up—

"Wait, Auntie..."

"what happened?"

"Actually... I have something else I want to ask." After a brief pause, "...I don't really want to talk about it... but if we don't get this straight, it won't work."

"What's the problem? Just ask."

"...Do you know why these two people died? Or, have you heard about it?"

It's okay to hesitate a little longer

People in the world are pursuing meaningful things.

It's not so much a pursuit as it is an attempt to give meaning to everything in the world, whether it's the mundane daily grind or a life that can be summed up in two words.

It's nothing more than "life" or "death".

"...It was all an accident."

Uncontrollable factors are actually happening every minute and every second, because something always happens in the next second. Compared with what has already happened, the cause and effect of the event are particularly important.

So I went on to ask for further reasons.

"So that's it..."

I have to admit... it's a bit surprising that a neighbor could remember the entire incident so clearly. I used to think that trouble would only create a growing gap between people, but now it seems that's not entirely true.

For a moment, I was at a loss as to how to view the relationship between the individual and the group. There were clearly well-intentioned people around me, but when I was surrounded by strangers, all I could feel was numbness and coldness.

Is it just because I met that special group of people...

"Finally, the truth is revealed..."

Even though my heart was filled with indescribable emotions, I finally... resolved the doubts that lingered in my mind.

After receiving the corresponding information about the various discordant aspects emanating from Yao Qiong, I finally understood why she became like that.

But even so, I had no way to explain to Yao Qiong why she was living the life she was living now.

Why did she lose her parents? Why can't she remember her past? Even though her eyes sparkle with curiosity, a fear still lingers within her heart. These things that troubled her are gradually being resolved through my efforts... Even without these insignificant truths, this can still be achieved.