I, who advocate giving up, feel like a disqualified person

"...Of course."

It only took a moment of thought to come up with such a firm response.

"..."

How should I put it? Even though I already knew this would be the response, I still felt relieved to hear her say it herself.

Going back is just to move forward

"Well, I'm going to school now. You should rest well at home alone. Don't play games or anything like that, and don't force yourself to write anymore."

Even before she was about to leave, she still remembered to give me some advice. It seemed like she really wanted me to get better soon... although I really enjoyed sitting at home like this.

"okay."

Anyway, there's no way she could see my actions, so I could just say something nice in response.

"After taking the medicine, go back to bed and sleep. Be careful not to cover yourself too thinly."

"...I have two layers of quilts."

"I've also filled the kitchen thermos with hot water. Don't forget to bring it upstairs. It's always a good idea to drink more hot water."

"Um...Okay."

Although I know she is very attentive, there is no need to be so serious...

"You must have a good rest, don't lie to me—"

"I won't lie to you...and I'm already very tired today. I'm not in the mood to run around."

As he spoke, he looked tired.

"Then I won't waste your time. See you tomorrow."

She waved to me and picked up the umbrella she came with.

See you tomorrow? Did she come to see me specially, or will I be able to go to school normally? Well, it's not something I can decide anyway, I'll just leave it to fate.

"...Well, see you tomorrow."

I wanted to raise my hand to wave to her, but my muscles were aching so I was a little late. By the time I raised my hand, she had already closed the door.

"..."

Although I was alone at home for a long time, I had almost gotten used to it and even liked the feeling of being alone at home.

However, when I personally experienced that moment when I was alone at home, I did feel a little...uncomfortable.

"...So, next..."

Although I said I wouldn't run around, I still have things I have to do. So I can't keep the promise I made earlier. After all, if I'm not discovered, it doesn't count as something that happened.

...Whether before or after, I'm still someone who won't follow through on every promise. I'll only do what I want to do and what I have to do...

Well, it sounds cooler this way, so let's just say it that way.

“…the things to do are…”

Chapter 27: Going Back Is Just to Go Forward

In this kind of weather... no, it should be rainier than this kind of rainy weather.

"Ah, it seems that my brain has been confused."

When I thought of such nonsense, I couldn't help but start to complain about myself. I patted my slightly aching head and stepped out, opening my umbrella and trying my best to avoid getting wet.

That's right, it wasn't this kind of autumn rain, but rather a thunderstorm similar to that of summer. Once upon a time, two men, long gone from ancient times, drank wine together and discussed who in their time could be called a hero.

"Cough, cough, cough..."

The wind unexpectedly rushed into my mouth when I wasn't paying attention, and for a moment I felt like I was suffocating. I couldn't help coughing, and even then, I didn't stop thinking.

In today's era, are there still people who can be called heroes? Except for those characters active in games and film and television works, it seems that no one can casually call themselves a hero.

Perhaps it was because of this realization that I got rid of my previous childish ideas and gradually got used to living as a mortal.

Ha... What was I thinking? I'm just an ordinary person, but I used the word "gradually getting used to it" to describe it... It's as if I had super powers before.

"......"

Even if I help hundreds or thousands of people, I'm still just an ordinary person. Besides, it's impossible for me to help so many people, let alone make sure everyone who's worried gets what they want.

The more I help, the more I realize my own weakness...and the more I realize that the things I don't want to admit actually exist.

I want to live as a numb and ignorant person.

But there is no way to change myself...I can't do it no matter what.

"—The subway is coming soon, please stand outside the safety line—"

The slightly shaking ground reminded me that I was about to embark on a journey.

The not-so-crowded crowd waited for the train to arrive with me. We were all going to different places, and our goals couldn't possibly be exactly the same. It's impossible to understand someone else's inner thoughts, to know their lives and experiences... How can one possibly guess what someone they don't even know is thinking?

If someone accidentally stepped on your foot, even if they apologized, you wouldn't know if it was genuine. Even if they didn't stop you from playing your phone loudly, you wouldn't know if your entire family would be cursed out. Even if you sat harmlessly by someone else's side, you still wouldn't know if anyone wanted you to get off the bus quickly so you could sit there.

This kind of thing is very normal.

Maybe it was because I had been in contact with Yao Qiong for too long, I couldn't help but start to wonder whether what I saw and experienced was normal.

"Cough cough..."

I spent a long time recalling things that happened to me and others... and then I came to a conclusion.

Everything in the world is normal.

The so-called abnormality is simply a matter of comparing different objects. It's like comparing cats and dogs. Even though they're both mammals, with limbs and tails, their natures are fundamentally different. So, you can't say cats are weirder than dogs, nor can you say dogs are abnormal compared to cats.

Similarly, if you compare your own miserable life with the happy lives of others, the conclusion you will draw is that the events you have experienced are not normal.

But no matter what...things happened, no matter how abnormal they are, we cannot deny the existence of the thing or phenomenon.

No matter how unacceptable something is...it will always be accepted by some people. Of those who cannot accept it, some become heroes, while others...probably become incomprehensible lunatics in the eyes of others.

“…Well…”

No matter what.

Anyway, the world is a very tolerant place that can accommodate all kinds of freaks and perverts.

The place other than the human world is even more tolerant. Many people have gone there since ancient times, but no one has ever returned.

"ha..."

It felt like I was telling myself a joke, and actually I did manage to make myself laugh a little. Well, actually, what I really hope for right now is that it doesn't rain wherever I go.

............

Even though it was just one town away, it was exactly as I expected. Although the temperature was still low, it didn't rain.

"Very good..."

He muttered to himself, took out his thermos and drank some hot water.

This behavior made him feel like a middle-aged man in a midlife crisis, not just mature. It was also very strange; I didn't have the habit of carrying a thermos with me... unless I was sick.

"Anyway...it's better to hurry up..."

Otherwise, I would miss the last train and would have to spend the night here. Although money and accommodation were not a problem, I was not sure how to explain this to my family.

And I took so many days off on the pretext of being sick... I didn't care about my classes and homework. Even if Brother Nan was as magnanimous as he was, he wouldn't let me go.

“…”

But when I was about to do what I wanted to do, I suddenly realized that I was not in the city where I had always been, but in another place.

A completely unfamiliar place to me.

I never thought that one day I would run to a place I was not familiar with, nor did I think about what I should do in such a situation.

Fortunately, I have the address and the navigation system brought by modern technology.

"It's not that far... That's strange..."

The route displayed on the phone doesn't seem far at first glance, but the distance displayed is actually several thousand meters... How is it possible to walk there with this body?

No, even if I wasn't sick, I wouldn't be able to walk. Partly because I don't like exercise, and partly because I have to save time.

“…”

Well, there's still a possibility that this might be a wasted trip.

The paused steps never deviated

The taxi we were riding in was speeding on the road.

It was a weekday, so there weren't many people or cars around at this time of year. However, finding a taxi at the subway entrance was easy enough.

"Judging from your age...are you still a student?"

"...Um..."

But it felt a bit awkward to say he was still in high school, so after a moment of hesitation, he added, "I'm attending university in the next town."

“Oh, that university is great.”

"...Yeah, it's good."

It's just an average university. No one from other provinces would want to get in... I'm just saying this out of courtesy.

"You look so young.. I thought you were in high school or something."

Once the conversation starts, I'll ask more questions. I don't really like talking to drivers while they're driving, after all, it's a distraction, but... in this kind of traffic, there's no chance of anything unexpected happening.

"...People often say that. Maybe it's because I'm not as tall as my peers... Could it be that I look immature?"

Just pretend that you're often told this.

"It seems like you get told this a lot."

“I’m used to it.”

Unscrew the water cup and look out the window while drinking water.

Although it was my first time here, the scenery before me was not unfamiliar. Perhaps because it was relatively close, the level of development and architectural style had not changed much.

"Going home to do some work?"

"...Um."

I understand the awkwardness of two people remaining silent, but asking so many questions still makes me feel a little uncomfortable. I just responded with a nonchalant tone for now.

"..."

After realizing that I didn't want to talk anymore, he didn't bring up the topic anymore.

So, I had been looking out the window with a slightly uneasy mood, and finally I came to the fact that was not so easy to accept.

The floating water droplets that had not condensed into ice crystals fell on the city shrouded in dark clouds as if it were natural.

"what..."

Could it be that I am the one being chased by the rain?

Chapter 28: The paused steps did not shift

There was no suitcase, only a thermos bottle and an open black umbrella. It might not seem strange to me, but it might seem a little strange to the people in this residential area.

"...Although I'm here for now..."

Even though I knew there was no one here, I still found it without thinking. After asking Yao Qiong to send me the address of her old home, it seemed that I could arrive at the scene without any obstacles.

However, apart from the security door that looks a bit old, there doesn't seem to be much difference between it and the neighbor's house.

If I have to say...it's probably because the style of the door looks a bit old-fashioned.