I, who advocate giving up, feel like a disqualified person

...........

Logically speaking, the weather shouldn't cool down so quickly in September. Seasons are a bit strange... After the Beginning of Autumn, the weather is very hot, while after the Beginning of Spring, the weather is often still very cold.

Well, let's not talk about that for now. It seems that walking along a familiar road always increases the chances of running into familiar people.

"How have you been lately? It feels like it's been ages since we last met."

"Um..."

The person who suddenly appeared before my eyes was actually someone I was quite familiar with. If it was any other time, it would be fine, but why did I have to meet her at this time...

I took a quick look at what she was holding and I understood. It was the comic magazine with the rankings from the last competition that Yehui and I had checked a while ago... In other words, she was here to confirm her own ranking.

"You're wearing so little. Is it okay for you to go out for a stroll like this?" She looked at me with concern, but I didn't want to see it.

"fine."

For some reason, I lost interest in answering Kurimoya's question.

"Are you here to buy books too?"

"...Do not."

I knew her words were harmless, after all, she had no idea I was even participating in this competition. But they still stung... It had been ages since I'd felt this way. And yet, realizing there were still people like this around me, I couldn't help but feel annoyed.

"I'm just going to see a friend."

"I see." She smiled and nodded. "We haven't been in touch much since then... since I don't have your contact information. But it's okay this way. Don't you think chance encounters are fun?"

"... maybe."

I don't know if it makes sense...

"Ah, maybe it's a little late to ask now." She seemed to have thought of something, "Did you do anything meaningful during the summer vacation?"

"...No, not really."

It could have been considered meaningful. But compared to her, it was probably just a waste of time. The reason for this was simply because I had no awareness from the beginning. In any case, I couldn't compare to this guy in front of me.

"Ah, I should have asked you for help earlier—"

"...What do you want from me?"

"Well, it's all in the past, so I'd better not reveal it." She hesitated for a moment and chose to keep it a secret.

Actually, I already knew. Summer vacation was all about accompanying her on her creative projects. Honestly, even if she told me, I wouldn't have helped.

"Are you going home now?"

"Oh, of course." She nodded. "But my driver hasn't arrived yet, so I can chat with you for a while."

"...I'm going to look for someone."

She seemed to have forgotten what I said.

"Oh, that's okay." She waved her hand as if nothing had happened. "Then just stay with me for a while."

".....whatever."

There is no urgent time now.

"That's more like it," she said, letting out a breath. "Looking at you, I thought you were in a bad mood."

"...Maybe it's because the weather is too cold."

However, I was in a bad mood. Because my eyes would catch sight of the book in her hand from time to time...

"It's so cold...you mean it makes you lack energy?"

"...almost."

It's just that now that I meet you, I have lost motivation.

"I was wondering why it looked so different from the last time I saw you. Is it because of the different seasons?"

She actually took it seriously... Never mind, let's just leave it at that.

I didn't respond, and since the topic had ended, she had nothing to say for a while, so a happy silence fell between us.

"...Well, actually, I've been wanting to thank you for a while now."

"...Thank me for something."

I don't think I've ever done anything to deserve her thanks.

"The thing that you asked me for before."

"...Ah, that wasn't me who found it, it was that guy." I couldn't remember the girl's name for a moment. "She found you, it's none of my business."

If possible, I just want to have nothing to do with you two for the rest of my life.

"...I knew you would say that."

The truth that could not be hidden in the end

Knowing what someone was going to say next is actually quite rare in real life, so I definitely don't think he knew I was going to say that. Based on my own experience, I guess I just anticipated this possibility... I roughly predicted their reaction, and because my predictions were wide-ranging, they just happened to coincide. It certainly doesn't qualify as "knowing it."

"Hmm...so."

Rather than talking to her, I was responding absentmindedly. I didn't think there should be much interaction between her and me.

"So I think you should talk to me more seriously."

"...I'm serious."

The level of seriousness is second only to absent-mindedness, and is infinitely close to the state of being in class.

"Well, since you said that, forget it..." She didn't intend to correct my attitude. "Speaking of which, there should be someone named Xun Yu in your school, right?"

"...Yeah, sounds familiar." I just can't remember who it is. I have a feeling it might be from our class... but it doesn't seem right. "Why are you in contact with students from our school..."

This is something that really concerns me.

"It's not a big deal, actually. There's no need to delve too deeply into things like this premise."

"...Hmm." That gave me an idea. After all, what she was hiding was her summer comic book days, which meant Xun Yu was also involved...

Ah, I remember now, that guy was from the Cooperation Club. So, it seems like she was asked to help... Although I don't know how she was able to come to our school to look for someone.

"I feel like your expression is somewhat similar to his at that time."

It was then that I noticed she seemed to be staring at my face. Even after I noticed her, she didn't even bother to look away... What on earth was she thinking?

"Do I look a lot like him... I don't think so."

It’s better to just be perfunctory at this time.

"It's not that you look alike, but the look in your eyes right now—" she said, pointing in my direction. "Although it looks dull, it's not that you're completely unmotivated. It's the look you get when you're feigning dissatisfaction."

"...You're absolutely right. I'm already feeling frustrated with the world... I rarely have the energy to go out today, but I'm caught in this awful weather. How can I possibly feel better?"

At this time, just play dumb.

"If it's just because of the weather, that's too childish." She smiled helplessly. "And I've already said that the look in his eyes is basically the same as his, so there's no point in trying to change the subject."

...I don't think she can see anything in my eyes. Because even I can't read people's expressions.

"Since you are so sure, then tell me why I am dissatisfied."

"Of course I don't know the details."

“…” Since it’s not clear, it’s easy.

"But one thing I can confirm is that you're probably worried about something you wanted to do but didn't."

"...Then you really guessed wrong." I didn't want to do it at all in the beginning, let alone worry about something I wanted to do but didn't do.

"Well, that's just complaining about your own incompetence."

"...So there's a backup option. Too bad if I were to explain this kind of thing, I could explain it better than you."

"It seems you still don't believe me."

"I never said I believed you."

"Ah, okay... Since you insist, I won't talk about you. Let's talk about Xun Yu." It seemed that he decided to change direction.

"...Actually, I'm not really interested in other people's affairs."

So slow, the car to pick her up hasn't arrived yet...

"Just think of it as me chatting with you."

“....." is the default here.

"Actually, it wasn't until I met him that I realized that people generally don't realize what they want to do. When just getting by has become the norm, doesn't it make you feel disgusted when you see those who work hard?"

"..."

It wasn't so much aversion as it was a sense of tension. It was the feeling that I was the only one doing nothing, that I couldn't do anything.

"I'm not a stingy person, so I don't feel that way." I responded, "It's okay for me to just get by, so it doesn't matter how others compare to me. If others like to work hard, let them do it..."

"Is that really what you think?"

"Of course I think so. Otherwise, why would I say it out loud?" In fact, I myself didn't figure out what I was thinking.

The cold wind continued to blow through the streets.

I stopped walking and began to feel the coldness in my body.

"I don't think so."

"..."

Looking at this guy in front of me who kept talking to me as if he knew me very well, I couldn't help but sigh.

I really hope she leaves soon.

Chapter 39: The truth that could not be hidden

Instead of showing any signs of leaving, she even ran to a nearby store to buy me a hot drink.

"...I don't know how to say thank you."

She was the one who asked me to stay here with her, so it was only natural for me to accept this.

"Let a more lovable character say this..." She couldn't help but frown, "It's totally out of place for someone like you."

"Hmph..." I ignored her. This is what happens when your mind is filled with novels. What a pathetic fellow.

"I'm not saying you're really bad at hiding your emotions."

"Of course, because I have nothing to hide."

Actually, I did it on purpose. I didn't want to continue chatting with her like this, and since I didn't want to say it directly, I could only express my negative emotions so that she would leave on her own. But now it seems that she doesn't have such intentions.

"Let me guess... you actually want me to leave sooner now, right?"

"...I have my own things to do."

Now that you've figured it out, just leave quickly.

"Then I'll leave as soon as I have finished speaking."

"Hasn't your car arrived yet?"

"Well, actually, I haven't had time to contact someone to pick me up yet. I just said that to keep you here."

"..."

Forget it, now that things have come to this, there is nothing to complain about.

"Then what exactly do you want to tell me... Don't tell me it's a confession or something like that."

"Oh, have you read too many light novels or romance comics? Why do I feel like I'll confess my love to a girl the moment I see her?"

"...nothing."

It's just a complaint... Although it doesn't really sound like a complaint, but rather like a delusion. But I do feel a sense of boredom when talking to her.

"...Based on the experience of that guy named Xun Yu, many people actually have their own ideas, but actually find it difficult to implement them. Partly because of their ability, and partly because of their drive... So seeing those who are more successful than themselves can make them feel quite annoyed."