I, who advocate giving up, feel like a disqualified person

Simply getting one person's approval isn't going to do much good, but if you persist, things will probably change.

"So, no matter what... there are still many people who don't understand me, even my parents. If you can't handle stress, it's hard to survive in this world..."

Well, is it really okay for someone like me, who hasn't even stepped foot in society yet, to say something like that... But, there doesn't seem to be anything wrong with it.

"I do feel that way... because my family thinks I stay up late studying because I want to repay them. But the truth is, I can't sleep at all... It would be too boring if I didn't study."

“…Eh…”

So that's how it is... Oh yes, Brother Nan seemed to have mentioned that she seemed to be doing well in her studies.

"So they seem to feel like they owe me something... After all, in their eyes, I'm just doing it to repay a favor. Actually, I just can't sleep..."

"..."

In other words, she wanted to get a normal sleep in order to escape this situation...or maybe this was one of the reasons.

"So... do you think their thoughts have caused you unnecessary psychological pressure?" I analyzed the situation briefly.

"...Psychological...pressure? What is that?"

"Uh..."

A guy who doesn't feel any psychological pressure? Well, perhaps not feeling that kind of thing can actually lead to happiness—that's probably the source of this guy's carefree nature. If possible, I'd rather know less...

"Is it something you must know?"

"Of course not. It's more like many people don't want to encounter it..." This is still very difficult to explain. "Not knowing is actually a good thing... Anyway, are there any other projects that interest you?"

"Nothing."

She shook her head decisively. "Actually, this is my first time playing outside for so long. I have to admit... I'm still a little uncomfortable with it."

“…I see.”

Compared to her, I don't seem to be such a homebody. After all, staying out won't cause any discomfort.

"Besides, don't you have a senior to meet? So I think we can stop here for now."

"Is it really possible?"

Maybe she was just being polite...

"Of course. I have to admit, I don't usually walk such a long distance. Honestly... I'm actually a little tired."

She explained to me a little embarrassedly.

"If that's the case... then it's up to you. Let's stop here for now."

In the end, the questions asked were still quite few.

"Ah... so how do you feel?"

I still feel a little concerned about this issue.

"Well... well, it's pretty good." She said, holding up the doll in her hand, "After all, being able to rescue the plush is very satisfying."

"Yeah...that's good."

Although I don't quite understand what she wants to express.

"Then let's go out together next time."

Before I even brought it up, I didn't expect her to bring it up before me... I have to say, she was surprisingly proactive.

"You don't have to find any entertainment facilities, just going out and chatting is fine. And you have to choose a good day, at least not like today."

"Sure, then if you want to come out, just call me. If we have an agreement, there will be no problem."

I'd still love to have some contact with her before the investigation is complete. And to be honest, with this awful weather... I really want to go home and change my clothes.

"I'll have to trouble you again then."

"No, no—" I said, standing up from the bench. "Then I'll call a taxi for you."

"Why? That would be very expensive, right?"

She asked me with a puzzled look on her face.

"...You said you were tired...So I think it's better to take a taxi."

Is this something that is difficult to understand?

"No, no, no—I mean I'm tired... and I don't mean just physically. Although that's understandable, walking is still fine... I'm not as weak as I look, right?"

I can't seem to figure out what she's trying to say, but in this case, it's better to let her say what she wants to say.

"...So what do you mean...?" This made it easy for her to express her thoughts.

"I can walk home by myself."

"Oh...I see."

I should have thought of it earlier.

"Well, can you join me?"

"....." Hmm... To avoid misunderstanding, I decided to confirm, "Together... Do you mean take you home?"

"Of course," she said seriously, "My family said it's dangerous to be alone outside, so it's best to have someone with you. And right now, there's no one else I can rely on except you, Sheji."

"...Okay." There was no reason to refuse anyway, and we could also talk about her during the journey.

"Then you should keep this for now."

As she spoke, she stuffed the doll in her hand back into my arms.

“It’s really cold today~”

Mixed in silence

For some reason, they had been talking all along, but now there was no word between them. Perhaps, as she said, she was actually quite tired and didn't even feel like chatting.

I don't think there's anything wrong with this. My only responsibility now is to get her back, and too much conversation might even make her feel disgusted. Well, looking at her situation, it shouldn't be difficult for her to feel annoyed by others.

"Huhu——"

A sudden, powerful gust of cold wind blew from behind me. I instinctively reached for my neck, only to realize I hadn't put on my usual extra warm clothing. Furthermore, after spending so long outside in this weather, I finally realized what I'd been worried about.

“A-choo—”

I had a premonition, but now's the wrong time to come. At least wait until I get her home before I act out...

"Are you catching a cold?"

A voice came from the room, which sounded unclear whether it was concerned or not.

"Maybe... maybe it's just because the weather is too cold, and the floating dust or something irritates my nose--"

I wasn't sure if I'd catch a cold tomorrow, but at least I was feeling pretty energetic right now. So naturally, I couldn't let her worry too much... but judging by her personality, she probably wouldn't mind. After all, there weren't many things she could figure out right now.

"Although it feels strange coming from someone like me who always stays up late, it's better to take better care of your health."

Is it true that you care about others?

"Well...I'll pay attention to that, thank you."

I could get some cold medicine or something after I get home to prevent it...but if I really do catch a cold, wouldn't that be an excuse to skip school? Thinking about it this way, it would be better to just let things take their own course.

"Don't neglect your health just to avoid school."

As if she saw through my thoughts, she suddenly reminded me.

"...Uh, I wouldn't do that. I'm not a child anymore."

After hearing what I said, she finally showed a satisfied smile.

How should I put it, this is how the topic started.

"The light is red, please wait a moment before going."

Before I noticed, she had already stopped and stopped me.

"what...."

As someone who's good at distraction, I've been stopped this way more than once. So, if you can be indecisive, it's actually a good thing...

"There aren't many cars or people around. Is it because the weather is so cold..."

It's probably because of the time of year and the remote location. But I actually like this kind of scene. It's quiet and there's only the building construction visible, which makes me feel at ease.

"Probably." was the brief response.

It seems everyone knows that going out in this weather is actually quite troublesome. There is no good comment on this.

"Do the people you know like to hang out?"

I don't know what made her ask this question suddenly.

"Well, I don't know what they usually do, but they probably don't stay at home for long."

"Will they ask you to come out and play?"

"uncertain."

This is the truth.

"How strange—"

"It's not strange at all..." I began to suspect that this sentence was just her habit of speaking and there was no need to take it seriously.

"Well...actually I don't know why, I just think it's better to say it this way."

It seems to be exactly what I thought.

"Not at all... No one wants to be called a weird person." Especially by you.

"Don't take it to heart."

"Yeah..."

"Because that's the only thing I'll say to you."

"...I don't really want to know the reason, but I'll ask why you have such thoughts."

"Hmm... I think Sheji is easier to talk to."

"..." The implication is that I am a pushover.

After all, it's not derogatory, so just accept it.

"The light's green." I felt a gentle push on my back as I spoke. "Let's hurry up."

Chapter 38: Mixed in Silence

There is not much time left.

In another year and a half, I will find myself at a crossroads in my life, where I will have to make a very big decision, and then decide on a series of smaller decisions that I have been hesitant about before.

"Thank you for sending me back."

She didn't ask me to stay at her house or anything. She just said goodbye and went straight to her own house. Knowing that I still had things to do, this behavior was what I expected.

"It's okay, we'll see you at school then."

With a brief wave, I looked at the message I'd received long ago on my phone and found the address of Senior Su's home. The time wasn't the evening I'd mentioned, but rather early afternoon... My body had warmed up from walking, so it didn't matter if I walked slowly.

"..."

I used to be constantly hesitant, but now I hope to make a decision sooner rather than later. Whether it's now or in the future... clarifying things as soon as possible is the right choice.

"senior..."

Actually, regarding that incident with Senior Su... I don't think I did anything right. After all, what I did was the same as any normal person: I simply persuaded him to forget about that friend and take the so-called right path. But when I think about it, I don't even know what the right path is.

Is simply drifting through life the right path? Or is becoming like my parents, toiling away for money the right path? Or is becoming numb to everything in the world the right path?

These are the things that come to mind when I accidentally think of my senior Su, who has already graduated. The more I think about them, the more I feel that everything I did back then was wrong... At least for me now, what I said and did back then was wrong.

"..."

So, rather than saying that my senior wanted to see me, it would be more like I was waiting for a reason to see him.

No matter what, I have to correct what I said to him at that time.