I, who advocate giving up, feel like a disqualified person

".....You mean you're more successful than me, right?"

It's really rude to talk like that.

"I didn't say that. You said that yourself."

“…” Anyway, that’s what I mean. It doesn’t matter who says it.

"So, what do you want to say?"

I have no comment on this. To say this is a provocation is too childish.

"What I'm saying is... some people attribute the differences between people to innate resources, while others ignore them and simply think that the differences are determined by effort... But once you see someone standing higher, you think they might have reached the top without any effort."

"..."

What is she talking about? I have no idea.

“Even for me, if I invest time in something I like, I will of course work hard to make it as good as anyone else.

So I don’t get annoyed by people who are better than me, but I get really angry when I see people who achieve success without working hard.”

"..."

Then the person she was angry at was definitely not me, because although I didn't work very hard, I didn't achieve anything either.

"What do you think you have contributed from the beginning to now? Sheji."

"...So you still remember my name..." This surprised me a little. "If I had to say it, it's probably just a little bit of my free time. For such insignificant time, it's a pretty cheap price to pay."

"Then what do you expect?"

"...No."

After thinking about it for a while, it seems that there is really nothing I want to accomplish.

"Isn't that right?" she said, reaching into her bag. "You actually care about something."

"...If I must say, there are many things I care about, like games and eating. I'm not sure which one you're referring to." As I put my mouth close to the straw, I realized the hot drink she'd given me seemed to be almost finished. And I was almost yawning from this boring conversation... but I was trying my best to hold it in because it was impolite.

"Of course it is this."

As she spoke, she presented the thing she had just taken out in front of me.

"....I don't understand what you are talking about."

In fact, I already have a vague idea of ​​the answer...but I subconsciously deny this possibility.

"Is that really the case?" she persisted. "Although I found it a little unbelievable when I first heard about it, after thinking about it carefully, all my previous doubts have been resolved."

"..."

Don't use that tone at this time...

"Whether it was finding me before, or appearing at the ceremony and the company, I've seen you everywhere related to the novel. Calling it a coincidence is too far-fetched."

“Ah… Really—”

"Of course, I just didn't explicitly want to investigate at first." She said with a smug look on her face. "After my continuous efforts, I finally figured out your identity—not only does your name have Sheji in it, but the word Sheji also appears in your pen name, which is a coincidence."

"..."

Didn't she manage to hide it in the end... Well, it's better to say she never tried to hide it from the beginning. And it was so obvious, yet it only came to light now. How on earth could she manage to look so confident?

"Well...it's definitely me." A little investigation would reveal that. "But how did you know about my participation in the competition?"

As I said this, I took the long-expired flyer from her.

The road is still expanding

At this point, I should probably rethink my approach to her conversation, but I couldn't think of how to do that right now, so I decided to keep it that way for now.

"Oh, well—your editor told me by accident."

"So it was her..." I couldn't help scratching my hair, surprisingly not getting angry. "It seems like she also leaked my identity."

"Well, I guessed half right." She couldn't help but smile. "I have to say you pretended quite well before. I didn't notice anything unusual... If it weren't for so many coincidences, you could have kept it a secret from me forever."

"Even if they knew about this, what would it matter? At most, they'd know that we're actually in the same industry, but our thinking and subject matter are different. That's the extent of our connection."

"That's true, but didn't you still participate in this?" She pointed at the flyer I took. "Since you participated in this, it means you are also interested in comics, right?"

"You're wrong." I couldn't help but sneer. "Unfortunately, I don't have any ideas at all."

"Then why participate? Isn't that weird?"

"The world is so big, there are bound to be many strange things. And I am one of them."

"That's a good quote, I'll take it." She smiled slyly, "When it becomes a famous quote, I'll definitely mention that you were the first to come up with it, don't worry."

"Are you hinting at a particular writer?"

"After all, there are many such examples in literary history." She paused for a moment, "But in our time, it's hard for novels to reach the level of being called masterpieces, right?"

"...Who knows." Maybe there will be someone, but it definitely won't be me.

"But you can't use this sentence as it is. It might be better if you modify it a little bit."

"...Really... But I thought it was just an ordinary remark."

"Language, like metal, needs to be refined. It's because you're too lazy to refine your sentences that you can only write those monotonous sentences."

For some reason, she suddenly turned the conversation to my work.

"That's to make it easier for readers to understand... I think most people wouldn't like flowery and literary language."

"I'm not some low-class guy—"

"I'm not talking about you... I just happened to read an article like this. You really write much better than me."

This isn't some kind of commercial exaggeration, but simply how I feel. Those delicate, undragging sentences are worth learning... Of course, I can't do it.

"It's no use praising me." Even so, her tone brightened considerably. It seemed like compliments were universally accepted.

"Just telling the truth."

I set my eyes on the empty cup.

"Well, let's get back to the point. If you weren't interested, why did you enter that competition?"

"...someone asked me to do it." I thought of a perfunctory excuse. "They asked me to come up with a story for her. I happened to be free, so I thought of one."

"So we're competing together... I thought you were on your own... Oh, that's right, that would be too much work." She explained to herself, "Even so, when it comes to winning, you still tend to be the winner, right?"

"Your...standard of victory is too difficult to define."

"Just getting a good ranking is enough—given your personality, that's probably what you're thinking. Am I right?"

"That's it."

"But judging by the results, it probably didn't go as planned. Otherwise, he wouldn't have that expression."

"You know it so clearly..." You're asking me this question...

"These are just conjectures, after all. To verify their accuracy, we'd have to find the person involved. It seems my guess is pretty accurate. Huhu, maybe I can try my hand at deduction."

"...Well, I don't think it matters. Just to ask, is it a novel or a manga?"

"It's a comic, and I'm still the scriptwriter," she said with a hint of pride. "I'm still aiming for first place in the next competition."

"..." Hearing this, he was surprised to find himself speechless. "Then I wish you success."

"Aren't you going to participate again? What you didn't get this time, you can just get it back next time."

"...But it's also very troublesome to do things that you are not good at."

"Well, since you think so, I won't force you to join."

"..."

"However, I still think it would be more interesting if there was someone competing for the top spot."

"There are plenty of people vying for first place, and I'm not the only one left."

"But I think you guys have the most potential... Maybe it's because you're also the author. Wouldn't it feel like a passionate manga to have a showdown through some medium?"

"...No need for that." This style still doesn't suit me.

"An opponent appeared who had no ambition at all."

"...Who was your opponent..." I have no memory of this.

“Tsk, tsk, tsk—”

It turned out to be three consecutive expressions of dissatisfaction.

"Forget it, forget it, let's not talk about this anymore... One last question."

"Will you leave after asking?"

"Of course." She seemed to sense something was wrong with this. "What do you mean? Is it so difficult to talk to me?"

"That's not what I meant... I just can't stand being in the cold wind for so long." I don't know why I could say this so calmly.

"Well...sorry."

"It's okay." It wasn't a meaningless conversation, "These words have given me some ideas."

"Oh, that's good." She then cleared her throat. "Well, one last question."

"...Ask."

"Have you thought about what you are going to do next?"

Chapter 40: The Road Continues to Expand

There are simply too many paths to take.

It was like choosing from a wide variety of dishes in a cafeteria. However, I hadn't yet expressed any preference as to what I really wanted.

"So what do you want to do next?"

When I asked her a question, I thought she would be as clueless as I was, but...

"I'll create with Jiumuting until I succeed. No, maybe I won't stop until I succeed... I haven't found the reason to stop yet."

Has it always been like this...

"There's no reason, I just think it's worth being with her. And she doesn't seem to mind... That's enough."

To be able to achieve such a relationship... those two people are truly a perfect match. Now, rather than being a little envious, I'm more confused as to why I haven't considered finding someone to work with.

Maybe subconsciously, I still hope to remain alone.

In short, when she asked me what I was going to do in the future, perhaps she was hinting at whether I should find someone who could accompany me to build a career.

"...How can it be found so easily..."

Besides, I don’t have any ability to do something so-called career...naturally I don’t have any plan for the future.

"..."

But I'll eventually consider it. Does that mean the sooner I make a decision, the better?

"Actually, there's one more thing... I don't want to reveal it to too many people, but I think you wouldn't say anything without thinking."

"The safest way is to not tell me."

Even though I responded like that, she still told me.

"I wasn't sure before...but lately I've realized it. Kumu-chan is really a cute girl."

"...I'm not denying it either." Although I didn't have any other feelings.

"I like her very much. I feel so much inspiration when I work with her. I have so many inexplicable feelings... In short, I just hope she can be by my side in my free time."

"...This is truly a strange feeling."

"I should have thought of it a long time ago...but I only came to this conclusion recently. I guess I like her."

"...Just to ask, what kind of liking do you mean?"

"Of course it's because I like someone."