I, who advocate giving up, feel like a disqualified person

"Eh? The song you ordered is about to start..."

"It doesn't matter..."

Even if I don't sing, the original singer will still fill in for me. I've actually been wanting to do this for a while now: book a room and put the music video of my favorite song on the big screen, and then just watch it without doing anything.

"But..."

"It's okay. After all, it's all about relaxing, but relaxation isn't limited to just singing, right?"

“…Ah, is that so?”

Although she stopped objecting, I understood. She must be wondering if this was normal or not. For those who believe that going to a karaoke bar is all about singing, simply watching the songs play is certainly not normal, and a waste of money. But for me, as long as I'm willing to do it and it doesn't cause any trouble to others, there's no problem... There's no need to be obsessed with what's normal or not. That's the idea I wanted to convey to her.

"I feel like...it's nice to listen to music occasionally..."

Her eyes were slightly lowered, looking at the screen.

"I always feel like there are certain melodies that really suit my taste... I hope that when it drifts towards a certain melody, if it does, it will give me a very comfortable feeling..."

"Ah, that's true..."

It felt like I was aligning with the composers' ideas, and I felt a small sense of pride.

"...Wait, come with me to buy...a device that can listen to music alone..."

"That's a headset, that's way too complicated..."

I don’t even know how to complain.

"Ah... So it's the headphones, the ones..." Her voice grew increasingly low. "Well... When the time comes... When the time comes, can you take me there?"

"...Um."

But in that case, I guess I'll have to go back to the mall... Well, I guess I can buy it online too...

"Tread~"

Along with a very soft sound, I felt something leaning on my shoulder. When I turned around, I found that Yao Qiong had leaned on my shoulder with her eyes closed.

“...Ah, um....”

I thought something was wrong with her body, and when I was about to wake her up, I found that she was still breathing steadily and there was no discomfort on her face. Then I realized that she was already asleep.

"...It's really hard work."

She'd been sleep deprived, and now that I'd asked her out shopping, she must be exhausted. And once she relaxed, without even being wary of me, she'd obeyed her body's urges and fallen asleep... This, after all, was what she'd been waiting for, right? To be able to sleep normally.

"...Well, have a sweet dream." The fatigue should be much less when you wake up.

From this perspective, there seems to be some hope of realizing her wish.

Dreams till today

It seems like I haven't felt this way in a long time.

I didn't know how to distinguish the unfamiliar yet faintly familiar scene before me. My thoughts had become quite complex, as if I'd forgotten something, and I couldn't seem to move freely... It felt like I hadn't felt this way in a long time.

"Joan..."

It felt like someone was calling my name. It was a familiar voice, yet it felt a bit distant. I searched everywhere, but couldn't find the person calling me. When I tried to ask, I found I couldn't seem to speak freely.

Is it weird...? I don't know, it feels like something's blocking my head, and my thoughts are becoming quite limited.

"Qiong...did you eat well?"

“…”

The figure before me was a familiar one. She had always been that gentle, seemingly unchanged, no matter how much time had passed. Ah, how long had it been? Had it been a long time? Where had I spent all that time? I couldn't remember, but compared to that, it wasn't anything worth worrying about.

I thought I would never see her again.

"Of course I'm eating well—"

A voice answered from behind.

Turning suddenly, I found a seemingly innocent child sitting on a chair, spooning food into his mouth. Aside from the vegetables he'd picked out on the side, he was apparently eating his meal. Speaking of which...this child seemed familiar.

"If you're picky about food, you're not a good kid..." "Huh? Is that so?"

"what..."

I think I know. That child must be me. Did I look like this when I was little? I think I've seen photos of myself as a child before, and if you look closely, I look very similar. Strange... well, it doesn't seem strange at all...

"Yeah, eating is the key to growth. It's the key to growing faster." "So...what about when you grow up?" "When you grow up? Well...you can find someone you like and marry them."

Hey, Mom, what are you talking about? You wouldn't say something like that to a kid like me...right? And why would you bring up such a topic...

"Family? If it's family, can I take my mom with me?"

"That's your own business. Mom won't interfere."

"So... does that mean you won't be with me, Mom?"

"Of course. When you grow up, you have to be independent."

"Then I won't eat it. I hope I don't grow bigger."

"...I'd be happy if you said that...but I still have to eat well."

"No, I don't want to!"

Was it because I didn't want to eat properly, or was it because I didn't want to leave my mother? To this day, even I can't understand my previous thoughts. However, from my perspective now, it's probably the latter.

“…”

I still couldn't say anything. I wanted to say something to her standing beside me, but no matter how hard I tried, no sound came out. I couldn't walk over and hug her tightly either. All I could do was look at her familiar face and feel grateful to see her again.

Can we really call it a meeting? Maybe I'm the only one who can see her... Well, that's enough.

When did I forget this memory? It's so important, this memory of my mother...

"..."

I really wanted to... say a few more words to her. Even just one sentence would be fine. However, no matter what I did, I couldn't utter a single word, and suddenly I felt a surge of sadness in my heart. Why did I want to talk to her so much?

This is something I have always been avoiding.

“…Ah…Ah…”

The scene in my eyes began to blur. But right now, I didn't care to see clearly; I just needed to know she was there. And I gradually began to understand that I was dreaming... and once I realized I was dreaming, I would wake up soon, right? So, before that, I should be able to do it.

"Don't worry about me anymore."

I spoke to my mother beside me. Even though I knew she was just a dream... but some thoughts can always be conveyed, if you believe in them.

"...I have grown up well... just as you wished."

Chapter 32: Dreams Until Today

How long can her dream last?

After carefully laying it flat on the sofa, I sat down not far away and started fiddling with my phone. She and I were probably the only ones who paid to sleep in a karaoke bar and then didn't sing. Ahahaha, maybe we're both a bit off.

“Drip—drip.”

When the battery usage reminder appeared on my phone, I realized that nearly two hours had passed. I had already extended the battery once... Now it seems that I should let her sleep for a while longer.

How should I put it? It turns out that I really care about what kind of dreams she has...and how long she will sleep. If it really doesn't work, waking her up when the time is up is also an option.

But would she be angry? Well, I wasn't sure. My phone was almost dead, and it would be awkward if I couldn't pay. So I put my phone away for the moment and turned my attention to Yao Qiong, who was still sleeping.

Come to think of it, I do remember that people's eyes move back and forth when they're dreaming. Of course, this is just textbook knowledge, but I'm actually quite curious about what this actually happens to them in real life... and there's a guy right in front of me who's soundly sleeping.

Why did I have such a flash of inspiration? It's so scary.

“…That’s not possible.”

What the hell was I thinking? I actually wanted to do this to a girl who had fallen asleep with me completely defenseless... Yeah, normally, it would be something even more difficult to talk about, right? But I remained unmoved. I'm truly a gentleman. Mmm, I'm worthy of being called the modern-day Liuxia Hui.

When I think about it this way, I feel really noble.

Well, for the sake of science, it wouldn't be too much to slightly open her eyelids to take a look at the condition of her eyeballs... After all, she has been in a deep sleep for such a long time.

"..."

While it's not anything extreme, it still feels incredibly childish. It's like graffiti on a sleeping person's face—super boring. But right now, my situation is incredibly boring, because there's nothing I can do. Of course, I've considered just getting some sleep, but that feels like that would change the purpose of coming here. ...Damn it, what should I do? I should wake her up, but she rarely sleeps this well. This is the first time I've faced such a difficult decision.

"...Sure enough, I should check the condition of the sleeping person's eyes."

This is the most comprehensive option that can satisfy my curiosity.

"Um...excuse me..."

I said as I began to move closer to her. Ah, I feel like my behavior would be quite perverted in the eyes of others. But what if this person were someone like Liu Yan? Even if I drew a lot of patterns on his face while he was sleeping, not many people would think I was going too far, and they might even gloat over it. Also, if Ye Jin suddenly had such an idea and I happened to fall asleep next to her, I'm sure she would definitely pry open my eyelids to see what was going on.

...In the final analysis, it is still the difference between people...

"Well, forget it."

When I was about to touch her, I stopped.

Even though we're friends, I still think there's still some distance between us. It's not like Liu Yan, who's of the same sex and knows each other well enough to joke around, nor is it like Ye Jin and I, who are relatives, so there's no barrier between us... It seems like even relationships between people aren't fair.

"By the way, what on earth are you dreaming about..."

Anyway, it’s not a nightmare after all.

...........

"...Good morning."

Sitting next to Yao Qiong, Sheji, who was lost in thought, breathed a sigh of relief when he realized the girl had finally woken up. After all, the time was only a few minutes away. If she woke up now, she wouldn't have to pay to extend the time.

"Morning...eh? Is it morning already?"

She was a little dazed, but when she heard the greeting from Sheji, she subconsciously took it seriously. Then she quickly straightened up.

"Of course I lied to you." The triumphant Sheji couldn't help but laugh after seeing her expression. "It seems like she really slept very soundly. Well, it's pretty good to be like this."

"...Hmm."

It was then that she suddenly realized she had actually fallen asleep without warning. And unlike before, where she could only see a single memory... this was the first time she had a dream of her own.

"Really...it was a nice dream."

She couldn't help but laugh when she realized this. At the same time, she was trying to recall what she had dreamed about. Once she remembered that she had dreamed about her, her feeling of happiness intensified.

"Even though it's only about two hours... well, it'll definitely be longer later, don't worry." Sheji said as he stood up. "If you continue sleeping like this, you'll definitely catch a cold. In this case... it's probably a good thing you woke up."

"Have you been waiting for me to wake up?"

She looked at the boy walking towards her in confusion.

"Of course." After a slight pause, "Let me be clear, I haven't done anything weird."

"...You can just not say that. Doesn't that make people look suspicious?" She couldn't help but laugh as she watched the boy named Sheji's face gradually turn red. "Are you sure you didn't reveal anything?"

"Of course not... I'm quite honest."

Should I call it arrogance or boasting? He said this while patting his chest with pride.

"Then I'll trust you for now." Yao Qiong said as she prepared to sit up from the sofa.

"Can you stand up?"

Sheji in front of him said this and extended his hand to him.

"Of course..." Even so, she still took his hand and stood up effortlessly with his strength. "Thank you... By the way, what's with that expression?"

After catching a glimpse of Sheji's expression, she felt a little puzzled. He looked as if he had experienced something joyful, a smile playing on his lips. Compared to the stern expression he had always worn before, the difference was quite significant.

"I'm just curious about your dream," he said, scratching his cheek sheepishly. "Seeing you look so happy, I can't help but feel...really good, or something. Maybe there's such a thing as emotional contagion."

He used confusing words again.

"Emotion...contagious?"

"Ah, to put it simply, angry people make those who are not angry angry. And happy people can make unhappy people happy."

Although it is very simple to understand, it feels like a tongue twister... This was Yao Qiong's first reaction.

"I understand now."