I, who advocate giving up, feel like a disqualified person

In my hand, I felt the cool touch of metal.

I want to move a little bit.

"Crackle"

Like forcibly starting a machine that had not been used for a long time, a rusty sound came from the joints of the body.

"Ah... trouble."

Chapter 21 The Right Path

Even in this short period of less than twenty years, when I look back occasionally, I see myself very different from what I am now.

In my eyes, the original me was just a child without any ability, often confused and uneasy because of things I didn't understand. After throwing away the faith that supported me, I lost the meaning of my existence.

So, it’s okay not to recall at all.

Who can guarantee that they will not change as they grow up? After more time passes, the self they see may become even more unfamiliar, or even ridiculous.

A player who always throws straight balls is definitely not a good player. Just like that annoying guy... (senior)

Therefore, the more a person changes, the more different he is from others... Tsk, it feels like this statement is nonsense.

"..."

"...?"

Noticing the gaze from the side, I turned my gaze to Lin Yi, who was still finishing her homework with me. I wondered what she thought of what I'd said yesterday. But now that things had come to that... any slight affection I had for her was definitely gone.

"No...it's okay."

If I remember correctly, I haven't asked anything yet.

"Yeah." There was no need to communicate.

"I...I have something else to do...I'll go first." As she said that, she quickened her pace with the collected exercise books.

"..."

now it's right.

. . . . . . . . .

To be honest, it doesn’t seem particularly difficult to find a place where you won’t be easily disturbed by others.

I'd noticed during the few times I'd talked to that troublesome little girl that the corridors during breaks or meal times were generally deserted.

Speaking of the place where no one is likely to pass by, it is of course the stairs near the rooftop...So it is not surprising that I am the only one here leisurely eating.

"Although humans aren't machines created by God to digest bread... I do feel that any food becomes worthless once it enters your mouth."

“…”

However, it would be unusual for a rude guy to walk up to you like this.

"You're hiding here during lunch time. Is it because you're unwelcome, or are you being ostracized?"

"These two things should be similar." I swallowed the food in my mouth. "But, these two states are basically what I pursue."

"You actually call it pursuit...hahaha."

She couldn't help but laugh.

Are you amused by me? But I'm telling the truth. From a humorous point of view, he's a strange guy... but not hard to understand. I've met him before...

"You're saying that you're actually quite popular, but you're trying to get rid of it. Are you crazy?"

Ah, that's really harsh words.

"So, why would a lunatic like me be talking face to face with the student council president right now?"

"..."

"And I'm curious, how did you find this place? This is clearly your first time here."

"Well, don't worry about that. It's easy for me to find a student in this school."

A smug smile, as if showing off his intelligence.

"So, Mr. President, have you had lunch yet?"

"You don't have to worry about that."

"Oh..." Actually, I didn't really want to know, I just asked out of politeness.

"By the way, I saw the video of you being beaten."

"...Oh... I'm sorry to have embarrassed you. As you can see, I'm not very good at fighting. So please don't mention such embarrassing things as being knocked to the ground."

"...The way you speak today is so strange." She couldn't help but frowned when she realized this, "And what's with your hairstyle?"

"...School rules don't allow this... Then I won't tie it up..."

"Isn't this interesting? That's it." She waved her hand, "I allow it. It's more pleasing to the eye this way."

"Oh..."

Actually, I was just pretending.

"Let's get back to the point. From what I know... the guy who hit you isn't usually violent, and his grades are pretty good across the board. He doesn't seem like someone who would just hit someone without thinking..."

"So based on this, you concluded that I was the one who hit him? And then you told me to go home and reflect on it?"

"...What are you talking about? That scene was already filmed, so I won't confuse right and wrong. And I'm not that kind of person."

Well, maybe...looking at her eyes, most people wouldn't doubt it.

"So, any questions?"

"I don't have any doubts... I just wanted to complain about how heavy my workload has been lately."

"....Thank you for your hard work." As I said this, I finished the last few bites of bread in my hand.

"It's not that hard, just getting approval one by one. The school itself is too lazy to deal with such things... Although it's a high school, this is quite advanced. We are the ones who rely more on us for student management."

"......"

Is it based on the idea that it would be better to let students manage themselves... I'm not sure, but from my perspective, it feels like this still has no effect.

"So, you did that for someone?"

I clearly said there were no questions, but this is still a question...

"...What."

Then, at this time, you have to act stupid.

"You're the one who's adding to my workload, right?... It doesn't matter if you deny it, it's definitely true."

"...Uh, guh."

Just use the default here.

"Well, it seems you did this to prevent that group from getting close to someone, and then use the school to teach the mastermind a lesson... There was only one person, so how did you do it?"

“…”

How should I tell her in a nutshell...

"Well, never mind. I'm not really interested."

"Well."

Maybe that's why I don't like her very much.

"But this is like pouring dirty water somewhere else. Who knows what kind of trouble those guys will cause when they return to their proper place... Your approach is rather inconsiderate."

"...If they can't gather together and aren't incited, then there's nothing to worry about."

“…Oh no…”

"If a professional thief wants to break into a house, no lock can stop them. But ordinary people who want to steal occasionally will give up the idea after seeing the lock on the door, even if it's not strong... Sometimes people's actions are caused by a reason. All you have to do is find the source..."

"That sounds nice. If it were that easy, I wouldn't have to be so busy every day." She sighed helplessly, "In short, you'd better not get involved in this kind of thing. Just stay in the club after school and don't cause me any more trouble."

"Well...I won't do it again."

Because there is no reason anymore...well...come to think of it, what exactly is the reason?

"Oh, thank you so much."

"...You're welcome."

"You... forget it," she said, turning to leave. In that case, I'll wait until she's gone before returning to the classroom.

"Oh, right. One more thing."

She suddenly turned her head.

"...What."

"You have to be careful. My sister hasn't been in a good mood recently."

"Isn't she always like that..." She has no expression on her face every day, which is no different from being angry all the time.

"That's why I want you to pay attention... Anyway, don't cause me any more trouble, you hear me?"

No, it would be too much trouble.

"Well, I'll try my best."

setting sun

Stable reality is like chocolate wrapped in alcohol.

Once you become addicted, you'll forget what you're supposed to be doing. Even if you still yearn for a fulfilling life... you'll still be unable to lift your numb limbs. Time will just pass by like this.

For me right now, I'm truly too comfortable. But no matter how hard I think about it, there's nothing I can do... Dwelling on the past is a fool's habit; I should be looking forward.

However, when I try to look away without any distractions, something always gets in the way. Those are things I don't need...so-called friendship, so-called love, they are all high-calorie sugars that make you fat.

At this point, I no longer want to care about how others see me, nor do I want to know how others see me.

"what..."

Perhaps this should have been done long ago.

Chapter 22: Setting Sun

"I still want to know the reason."

Before I could figure out how to start a conversation with that guy, he unexpectedly asked a question on his own.

"...Oh, before that, could you please state your question more clearly?"

Lin Quanchuan, who had been in contact with him for a year, had the impression that he had spent quite a long time with him and could recall many events, so naturally he didn't understand what the abrupt topic he suddenly brought up was referring to.

"Ah, sorry." He seemed to have just realized that the information he had revealed was limited. "I think I was too impatient. In that case, let's take it slow."

"...What? That's so confusing." She couldn't help but frown. "Isn't this some half-baked question you came up with on the spur of the moment with your cell-poor brain?"

"This is hard to say."

"Well, if that's the case, then just tell me. I won't answer you with all my heart anyway." As she said that, she turned her gaze back to the book in her hand and found the content she had just read.

"If I'm not mistaken, you've been thinking this for a long time: 'Formed books are easier to understand than people.'"

“…”

I haven't mentioned this to anyone yet. Rinquanchuan couldn't help but look at the guy who was fiddling with his phone.

"...After all, people can lie, but books cannot. Every word and sentence, everything they want to express, has never been changed."

"That's true..."

"Oh, could you please not speak in such a predictable tone? I feel very uncomfortable after hearing it."

Although there was some deliberate disparagement in those words...she did feel a sense of inexplicable discomfort when she heard those words.

"Ah, sorry."

"..."