I, who advocate giving up, feel like a disqualified person

"I said……"

"Brother, don't you know what kind of person you are?"

She was obviously a little upset that I had interrupted her TV viewing.

I was silent for a moment, then said seriously, "No, I don't understand. I just want to see what I look like in other people's eyes."

"After all, some people say I'm gentle."

After hearing this, she put down the remote control and said word by word: "In my eyes, you are my brother."

“…Is it that simple?”

"If it's not my brother, then what else could it be?"

She looked at me quietly, and suddenly showed me a bright smile that she had almost never shown before.

I was stunned for a moment, and slowly came to my senses. She was already lying on the sofa watching TV like before.

......

I still don’t understand what bonds are and what I am.

But at least I can be sure that I am very important to them.

I don’t know how those layers of overlapping nets were formed, nor do I know when they enveloped me and all kinds of people. I have been avoiding them until now, and I don’t even know what I am afraid of. I just shrink back and dare not face the hands extended from the outside world, and dare not look directly at the response.

The choice isn't that important; this worry simply hinders the greetings that come from that web of bondage. I'm like a broken cocoon, spinning out silk but hoping it won't entangle me.

But what does it matter? I will do what I need to do. Even if I can't see myself on the other side of the mirror, just seeing others is enough.

All they need is to call me:

"Hey - Sheji~~"

It's good enough.

......

Thinking of my conversation with my senior, I stopped walking up the stairs and asked:

"Ye Jin, do you like rain?"

She glanced at me, continued to look at the TV, and after a moment she sneered:

"Did the rain really damage your head?"

I smiled and said nothing.

During the holidays

The pain caused by the extremely low temperature should have been like a nail, nailing attention and perception firmly to the lips containing the popsicle.

However, human attention cannot be divided equally between two different things. When focusing on one thing, one will naturally ignore another, no matter what field. But when it comes to the game that is about to be completed, the attention I need to devote is enough to completely ignore the stinging pain in my lips.

Right now, I'm just thinking about how to defeat that boss that made me want to throw my controller down countless times. This little pain isn't enough to distract me. So, it seems like the story of Guan Erye playing chess and scraping his bones to cure poison might have a basis... I guess.

“Crack! Crack! Crack! Crack! Crack—!”

I repeated the finger movements countless times, using the dual-sword technique, holding both swords above my head and rushing towards the monster. Then, with the blades vibrating highly, I penetrated it, and the boss's health, which had been reduced by all the methods I had used, finally reached the bottom.

It seems like... I've completed the game.

I'm not sure if what I see is real, because I have failed too many times here, and even dream about passing the level... However, compared to dreams, this scene is much more real.

"Cleared the game."

When I realized this, I wasn't as excited as I'd imagined. At best, my heartbeat quickened a little. I'd always wanted to achieve this, but now that I'd finally achieved it, I felt a vague sense of loss.

Perhaps, the things you have always wanted are not actually very important to you.

"call...."

As the monster fell, the CG used for transitioning the scene appeared. I sighed and realized that I had overlooked something. I hurriedly took down the popsicle hanging from my mouth, and at the same time, my brain felt the pain... This feeling was very subtle, just like experiencing network delay.

“Ouch, that hurts…”

My lower lip felt painful as if a small piece was torn off, and I touched it lightly with my finger to see if there was any blood.

"Yeah, okay..."

Aside from feeling my lips getting cold, there didn't seem to be anything else wrong. Well, if your mouth is injured, eating takeout would be a little difficult... After all, rice is often filled with chili peppers, and irritating the wound would be uncomfortable.

"Ding-ling-ling~"

A crisp sound pierced through the game's sound effects, drawing my attention to the black curtains that blocked out the sunlight from the nearby window. Although they were indeed blocking the sunlight, a small amount of light still seeped into the room.

"........."

Stand up slowly and stretch your muscles.

"Wow——"

With the sound of the pulleys turning, sunlight streamed in through the gap between the two curtains. Accustomed to the dimness of the room, I couldn't help but squint my eyes. Even so, my eyes still stubbornly searched for something.

Then, before my eyes, a wind chime, a sea-blue hue, swayed in the wind, and beyond it, the sun-drenched streets. That crisp, pure sound was coming from the wind chime, and judging by its gentle swaying, the world outside the window must have felt a long-awaited breeze. Compared to the cool atmosphere inside, the world outside must have been as scorching as hell.

The laziness induced by the heat always inevitably wears away one's will, and the holidays provide ample excuses for doing nothing. But fundamentally, what one is doing at this moment is truly meaningless... Perhaps the lack of excitement after completing a game stems from the realization that what one has done is ultimately meaningless.

"Meaning...?..."

The wind chimes were still swaying, but the amplitude had begun to weaken, and the crisp sound gradually calmed down. No wonder, heat was always the main theme of this season.

"..."

I thought about something and suddenly felt that the outside world didn't seem so hateful.

Chapter 37: It's during the holidays

The truth is always different from what is in the book.

According to the geography textbook, summer here should be rainy. But now that summer vacation is almost halfway over, and thinking carefully, I haven't experienced many rainy days, and the rain hasn't been heavy, quite unlike the torrential downpours I remember from other summers... The only constant is the uncomfortable feeling of heat and humidity. It's like the taste buds preferring a distinct sweet-salty balance; if it's hot, don't add humidity... It's something I can't change, but I can't help but think about it.

"What if it comes true?" Perhaps people live in this world because of such faint thoughts.

"Ah...boring."

I sat at my desk, staring blankly at my geography homework, a summer homework assignment that hadn't changed since I knew it. Well, that's where my thoughts started.

Well, if two months of summer vacation is meant to give us a break from the misery of school life, then we shouldn't mix it with irrelevant things. Putting aside my preference for clearly defined things, simply because I hate homework, it shouldn't be assigned during summer vacation. However, the reality is that this is the case, and Nan-ge seems to have hinted that the changes to the second-year class won't be significant, meaning the delusion of eliminating homework by dividing the classes is out of the question.

I don't think she will put me in another class.

So, what kind of vacation is this? Having said that, after a month that has flown by in a daze, I can't help but feel a slight sense of emptiness. I wanted to take advantage of this emptiness to write something, but suddenly I realized that what I want to achieve doesn't seem to be something that can be seen in the wild.

"......"

This kind of thing is actually very simple. I believe that even Ye Jin, as long as he reads my textbook and notes, should be able to fill in all these questions. Although the accuracy rate cannot be guaranteed, it is at least more reliable than mine. The most important thing is that I don't have to do it myself... However, by the time I came up with this idea, Ye Jin had already gone home for two days and was unlikely to return in the short term.

The reason is that my parents have finally returned from their business trip (travel), and relatively speaking, her parents should also be at home.

There's no way a car like this could get to the mountain... so it would be nice to have a copy of the answers. This kind of thing hasn't happened before. I remember Liu Yan copied homework with me last summer... so could the same thing happen this time?

"Let me ask first..."

Thinking of this, I took out my cell phone from the table and prepared to send a message to ask.

"Sheji, a friend is looking for you."

There was a knock on the door, and my dad's voice suddenly appeared outside the room. This scene, with such a strong sense of déjà vu, reminded me of the last time I heard this sentence.

"What's wrong? Is Xiaoye here again?"

If that's the case, it's probably because of Kurumiya's incident... It's strange, the rookie award has already expired, and Kurumiya should have returned to work... Could it be that she's encountered some trouble again?

I made a wild guess and walked over to open the door.

However, while the hair before me was unusually black, it wasn't Xiaoye's usual color either, but an equally uncommon golden color. Even without sifting through my limited circle of friends, judging solely by the height that barely reached my chest, it was easy to pinpoint the person who was looking for me.

"It is you..."

This doesn't mean that I can save some energy. On the contrary, even I can't predict what Lingcan is thinking.

"What do you mean? Can't I come?" Ling Can frowned slightly at my reaction.

"No... I'm just a little surprised." I said, taking a step back. "Anyway, come in and talk."

"Hmm, okay." His expression seemed to have returned to normal. He muttered "Sorry for disturbing you" and walked into my room.

"Come to think of it, I didn't even tell you who it was, so why did you assume it was Xiaoye who came to see you?" She suddenly asked me the moment I closed the door. The fact that the plot was so similar to an anime really made me break out in a cold sweat.

"Um... well... a habit?"

"In that case, it seems that she often comes to your house to play."

"Ah... well." I suddenly felt that there was something wrong with what I had just said. It was almost self-inflicted, even though I really hadn't done anything shameful. "It's not very frequent, actually. It's just that usually no one comes to bother me, and she happened to be here recently, so I guessed this."

Well, this explanation is as reasonable as ever.

"Is that so..." She responded in a tone that sounded completely unconcerned, which meant she had just asked casually... What on earth am I so nervous about?

"You have quite a comic collection," she seemed to glance at the bookshelf beside her. "Have you been reading these during the summer vacation? Or have you been playing games?"

"It's probably a bit of both," I thought for a moment and replied, "I'm still worried about my homework... Have you finished it yet?"

Seeing how calm she looked, maybe she had really managed it.

"Ah, indeed. Although my previous school didn't have homework, I still do as the Romans do. I managed to find time to finish it." She reached out and pulled out a comic book, flipping through it. "It's a bit easier than the exercises on the test, so it was pretty quick to finish."

Ah, I forgot... Aya-chan is actually a hidden academic genius. But I'm not sure if she'll give me her homework... to help me learn from it.

"So you're not here to check answers with me."

"You clearly haven't finished yet. Even if this is your purpose, it's a wasted trip." She gave me a helpless look. "And I always feel that your answers are definitely different from mine."

"You mean I have a high error rate?"

"if not?"

"..."

Even if it is true, please be more tactful...

"Well, anyway, it's not like I came to you for no reason." She changed the subject without any prelude. "I have something to show you."

"Um...?"

Difficult to arouse interest

In my impression, Ling Shen rarely shares things with others... and even if she wanted to do something like that, she wouldn't say it directly. If I had to give her an example, she'd probably make some excuses... something like "You seem to need it, I happen to have it here" or "I'll give it to you reluctantly."

And it's really not like her to say it right at the beginning... I always feel that the impression she gives me now is completely different. I don't know when it started, but her image has become completely different from the impression I have of her.

"So, what are you going to show me?"

In this situation, curiosity is naturally aroused.

"Well, seriously speaking, it's not really anything worth worrying about." It seemed that when I was distracted, he turned his attention to the comic in his hand, and only turned his thoughts back when I asked, "But if you're just telling me to kill time..."

"No, forget it in that case." I immediately determined my attitude when I heard this, "As you can see, my time is very valuable now." I always feel that this line seems to come from some money-making online game.

"Are you going to work?" she asked with a slight frown.

"Of course not. Didn't I just tell you? I haven't even touched my summer homework. I don't have any time to waste right now." I don't want to talk about this slightly embarrassing topic a second time.

"If you really don't know how to do something like summer homework, just write whatever you want." She didn't seem to care about my problem, and her tone was very leisurely. "It's like a second-rate author who is about to miss a deadline and can force anything into the book."

"That won't work. We're in high school now, and the teacher will definitely check it... And based on what you just said, won't the readers notice the clues if we do this?" And why does this statement sound inexplicably familiar?

"Huh? Do you really think you're important enough for the teacher to check your homework carefully?"

"..."

When I think about it this way, it seems that it really won’t happen.

"It's like no one reads books by some unknown author."

"Shut up!"