I, who advocate giving up, feel like a disqualified person

Chapter 38: Difficulty in Arousing Interest

I seriously suspect that the attribute of language that harms other people's mental health can be transmitted through mutual contact between people... Otherwise, Lingcan would never say such words under normal circumstances. This must be influenced by Linquanchuan.

How should I put it? Although the example she just cited had nothing to do with me, I still felt that it was somewhat unreasonably harsh in some ways. In this inexplicable mood, I agreed to her request on the spur of the moment.

Promise to listen carefully to what she wants to do.

"Actually, I've been pretty bored these past few days at home." She began by talking to me about her summer life. "I spend almost every day with the curtains drawn and the air conditioner on. Sometimes I wake up and feel like I can't tell the seasons anymore."

"...That's awesome of you." I don't know what to say in response to this. In my opinion, this kind of life is really hard to emulate under normal circumstances.

"After finishing homework, all I can do every day is play a different game. Ye Jin occasionally comes to play with me, but most of the time I'm just bored at home." She seemed to sigh softly as she spoke. It seemed she wasn't happy with this vacation lifestyle... Well, as an outsider, I naturally wouldn't want her to be like this either. After all, not only does an irregular lifestyle affect her health, but playing games all day is a waste of vacation time. But if I put myself in her shoes... I'd love to experience playing games every day without anyone paying attention.

Ah, as for why I could clearly hear her sigh, it was because we were sitting side by side at the table. And the reason was that she wanted to show me something she had stumbled upon...though she hadn't revealed it yet.

"so what?"

I asked blankly, supporting my cheek with one hand.

"So... I happened to turn off my PS4 and walked into my study to read a book, when I suddenly found something that didn't seem to belong in my house."

“…”

Although she had an incredible and mysterious expression on her face, it really didn't appeal to me.

"...That's not surprising. After all, you're the one who moved in... It's normal to have things left behind by previous owners in your room." I yawned involuntarily at this point. "So... compared to that, I think talking about lending me your homework or something like that would get my attention more."

Well, this is a hint that is close to being explicit.

"Copying homework? You can't get something for nothing. Besides, your grades aren't so bad that you can't even do your homework, right?" She didn't seem to want to lend it to me to copy.

"...just too lazy to bother."

Well, saving resources is indeed very important.

"Well, if I'm in a good mood, I can lend it to you."

"...How can you say that?"

"As the saying goes, 'The world is bustling with people, all driven by profit.' If you want someone to act according to your will, you can't do it without profit. I was already aware of this when I came to see you." She imitated me, propping up her cheek with one hand and looking at me with a smile. "However, I didn't expect your requirements to be so low, just a meaningless assignment for me."

"..."

Always felt...

"Actually, you can be a little more greedy."

"Dong dong——"

At this moment her expression seemed particularly charming to me... The intensity of this feeling was such that it even formed a strange feeling in my mind.

"Who is this person?"

Even though he knew deep down that she was joking...after all, he had already mastered the art of venomous speech, so there was no reason he couldn't learn this trick. However, perhaps this was a flaw in human nature; when faced with hints that were full of misunderstandings, his thoughts would always tend to move in the direction he most desired.

If it gets exposed...it would be terrible because it would mean that you are a guy with all these dirty thoughts in your head.

"...No, no, no, I'm the least greedy person. It's just homework."

My heart raced for the umpteenth time. Normally, this shouldn't be strange to me... but for Lingcan, this was probably a first. For some reason, she, whom I had never seemed to notice before, now... caught my eye.

"What happened to her?"

"Well, if that's the case, let's negotiate. As long as you're willing to be my witness, I'll lend you my homework after the deal is done."

"Witness? What testimony?"

In order to avoid word games, I still have to be very careful to understand the nouns she mentioned.

"Ah, after talking for so long, you haven't gotten to the point yet? Really, can you please stop interrupting me all the time?" He seemed to be naturally putting the blame on me.

"Okay... please go ahead."

I didn't think of arguing about it because I was used to it.

"Hey...well, what I was just talking about, um, yes, is that I found something in my study that doesn't look like it's in my home, at least not in my memory." As she spoke, she took out a square object from her pocket. It looked like a piece of paper folded in half several times.

"...What is this? An old love letter?"

The moment I said it I realized something was wrong...because when I saw this kind of thing I naturally brought my own experiences into it.

"It's not something that's easy to understand." She didn't seem to care why I thought so, but unfolded the paper, which looked quite large. The yellowing color showed its age... and if you looked closely, you could see something painted on it in different colors: zigzag red lines, blue outlines, and areas marked with yellow dots. It felt a bit like a road map.

"What is this...a map?"

I took a look and guessed.

"Yeah... I thought so too." She seemed to agree with me, "but I have no idea what it means."

"...If you don't know, then you don't know. Anyway, it's someone else's stuff, so it's better for us not to explore it casually." Maybe someone has hidden something in these places.

"That's not very likely. I don't think this belongs to someone else." Perhaps seeing my resistance, she explained, "Although I was born abroad, my father lived here, and the place I live in now was also bought by him... So, this picture might have been brought by him, or it might have been brought from an earlier family."

"...You mean... could this be something your father painted?"

I think I understand what he said. It seems to be a work from his middle school years, and he casually put it in his collection of books, and then completely forgot about it. Then he left it in this house and didn't take care of it much, and finally his daughter found it randomly. To sum up, it's really a sad story.

"I don't rule out the possibility... Well, isn't it interesting?" Her eyes twinkled. "Whoever it is, don't you want to find out what those routes and dots on the map represent?"

"...I really don't want to."

It's a shame to even bring it up now. I've done this before, too. After seeing a treasure hunt in a comic or anime, I'd try to draw a proper treasure map myself... but it was completely pointless. I'm sure her father drew it with the same urge in mind... It's quite sympathetic that his dark past has been brought up now.

"Then you don't want to copy the homework?"

"..."

This is really a problem.

"Well, actually, I've had the same idea as you do now. I think this is just a random drawing." As she spoke, she took out her cell phone from another pocket, clicked a few times, and placed it on the table, just on top of the "treasure map".

"But looking at this map of this town, don't you think the outlines are very well-reproduced? And the scale looks like it was made with great care. It's almost too detailed to be considered something you'd have created as a child or when you were in your chuunibyou phase."

"..."

Maybe there really are people who are so idle.

Although I want to refute it like this, compared to doing homework without any reward or accompanying Lingcan to do useless work but being able to copy homework, I would rather choose the rewarding consumption.

"Well, since you're so persistent, I'll accompany you...to be your witness." Even so, he still didn't take it seriously in his heart. "So, now? Go out and look for it now?"

"Of course not. It's nice that you're feeling impulsive, but when it comes to deciding to do something, just having the mood isn't enough... Planning is also a very important part."

"..."

"Well, it's getting late today, so let's start tomorrow." She glanced at the map and pointed to the center. "Let's meet here tomorrow. Transportation will be more convenient in the city."

"Yes, yes..." I nodded repeatedly, "So, what time do we meet?"

"Six... well, seven will be fine then."

"Seven... um, okay."

After all, I just noticed that there are quite a few locations on that map... In fact, I might not be able to explore them all in a day. But sacrificing rest time for something like this... well, whatever.

"Then it's settled."

Lingcan was the first to extend her little finger to me.

"...Well, it's a deal."

In short, I still hope that this farce will end as soon as possible.

Goals to be achieved

Days will eventually pass.

Whenever I gaze at that luminous object ascending ever higher into the heavens, a few thoughts inevitably arise. Unlike others, who might be preoccupied with their future prospects, I ponder what I can achieve right now. Perhaps I devote more energy to the things around me than to the mundane grind of schoolwork... Even though my parents disapprove and have repeatedly urged me to devote more attention to my studies, I really can't help it. That's just the way it is. Once my eyes are fixed on something, it's hard to look away.

Is this a good thing or a bad thing? I don't know yet, just like predicting the future achievements of a three or four-year-old. I'm anxiously anticipating what kind of person this personality will become.

In short, I want to do something that no one around me has done before. It's not that no one has done it in history, but it's something that has been repeated countless times. So to others, it seems like a clumsy and half-hearted imitation.

However, this is something that is quite meaningful to me.

It feels really good to use the ample time I have to carry out my ideas and solve problems by looking up information... More importantly, I have a group of partners around me who are willing to "do something else" with me.

So, in my opinion, this is not something meaningless, but an effort to achieve the current goal.

【Selected from .??? Notes】

Chapter 39: Goals to be achieved

"Promise."

It seemed like he had made some kind of agreement with her before.

As I watched those slender fingers intertwine with my pinky, a sense of familiarity suddenly welled up in me. Perhaps it was something from long ago, or perhaps I simply hadn't considered it in the first place... In any case, when I tried to recall the origin of this feeling, I found myself unable to locate it. The past, with the passage of time, had long since become blurred... Compared to others, my memory seemed to fade even faster.

"Then don't be late tomorrow~"

She laughed unabashedly.

"No, it's an agreement after all."

"Don't repeat it, it's so corny." She loosened her fingers and slightly stuck out her pink tongue. "It's really embarrassing to hear this word from someone else."

“…Ahaha…”

Embarrassing? She's always said more embarrassing things than this before, but she acts like nothing happened... Ah, I see. Could it be that she's outgrown her chuunibyou? That seems like a good thing. Hmm, that's cause for celebration.

"Okay, now that it's settled, I should say goodbye." She said as she was about to stand up.

"Eh? Are you leaving now?"

It always feels like she hasn't been here long.

"Yeah, I've already told you what I wanted to tell you, and what we expected has also been achieved. So there's no reason for you to stay here." She looked at me calmly, pausing for a moment before revealing a puzzled expression. "Why, do you still want me to play with you?"

"...That's not the case..." Hearing her say that, I couldn't help but reach out and scratch my cheek. "After all, coming here in such hot weather, and leaving before I even offer you any hospitality...seems a bit rude in terms of hospitality."

"Oh, if that's the case, then don't worry about it."

“…”

"In my opinion, our relationship should be closer, right? So the host and guest thing doesn't really matter." She tilted her head and sighed, "If you were so distant with me, I'd feel uncomfortable too."

"Hmm...I see..."

Does that mean I don't need to be polite to her... But I don't know what the level of impoliteness is. If I do it, I will be disliked... That's why I hate such vague things.

"Well, after all, this matter is caused by me, so I have to arrange the plan and prepare the necessary things alone. Sheji, you just need to arrive on time."

"...Are you still preparing?"

Isn't it enough to just wander around...

"Of course, these locations are very diverse and their distribution has no regular pattern, so I need to follow the real map to plan the shortest and most reasonable route to get there."

She seems quite attentive... Even though it's just an old piece of paper that most people wouldn't care about, she's still curious and invests more enthusiasm than most people. If this isn't her innate personality, then who has inspired this style of behavior... Her tireless energy and pursuit driven by pure curiosity are almost childlike.

"...You really haven't changed."

"Huh? What do you mean?"

She looked at herself alertly because of what I said unintentionally, and then her eyes stopped on her breasts which had not changed.

"Hmm... I didn't expect you to be such a person." He said this and looked at me with disdain.

I swear to God, I really didn't think about it that way...and I definitely didn't look in any strange direction.

"You seem to have misunderstood something..."

"Don't worry about misunderstandings or not, I understand." She reached out and interrupted me. "...It's almost autumn now, so maybe your desires should shift a little towards food, right? You can't stay stuck in the rutting season of spring."

"I told you I was overthinking it."

"Haha, come to think of it, Sheji, you've noticed very little."

As if she had turned the page on what had just happened, she suddenly turned the topic to me, and without any warning... But the most important thing was that I had no idea what she was talking about.

"...What do you mean?"