I, who advocate giving up, feel like a disqualified person

Will I still be doing nothing all day, hanging out with people I don't want to have anything to do with, having no idea about my future life, giving up all expectations, and quietly waiting for what is destined to happen to me?

Yes, now it seems that I just need to live such an unhappy life.

Because now I...

My hand unconsciously rested on my chest. The pain couldn't be suppressed with such a simple gesture.

"pat..."

Tears blurred my eyes and fell on my hands. Only then did I realize what kind of expression I was showing at that moment.

“…Really…”

I slowly stopped and muttered to myself with my head down.

"I can't face her like this..."

............................

The two people in front of me are not so much familiar as very troublesome guys.

"..."

From a distance, I saw Lu Yunzi and Senior Jia Lidu sitting side by side on the roadside. Especially Senior Jia's messy collar and the tired expression on his face, I seemed to have guessed something... From the fact that this place leads to the hospital where the seniors are, I can vaguely guess that Lu Yunzi must have seen Senior Li Yinghui and Senior Jia walking on the street together, and Senior Jia, who appeared here for some reason, was probably used to vent his emotions... Although I feel very sorry, it's better for me to be careful not to appear in front of them.

So... pretend not to see anything and let the few passers-by pass by them calmly.

"......"

However, Senior Jia, who had been looking down as if contemplating life, suddenly raised his head and saw me. Meanwhile, the senior student beside him was looking off to the side with a distracted gaze, unaware of my presence.

"Shh..."

I quickly made a quiet gesture, then pointed forward, then pointed at my senior, crossed my arms, and shook my head. (I'm going to the hospital up ahead. Senior, don't tell her.)

"Hmm..." He seemed to understand and nodded.

"call..."

Great! It seems Senior Jia is quite easy to talk to. So I gave him an "OK" sign, and he smiled back at me. I felt relieved, so I quickly prepared to leave.

But when I turned around...

"Oh, isn't this Sheji? What a coincidence~" A greeting so cordial that it was outrageous suddenly came from behind...naturally, it came from the mouth of Senior Jia.

"......"

What the hell, did that guy really understand what I just said?

"Ah...really." Senior Sister Lu Yunzi naturally noticed me because of what happened just now. Well, now I can't leave even if I want to.

"...Oh, it's you, senior... I was in such a hurry that I didn't notice you guys at all~" Anyway, I'd better be a little vague here, "So... what are you two doing here?"

"No, nothing..." The senior student seemed unwilling to mention what had just happened.

"Oh, that's it... Then I have something else to do..." "Don't listen to her, your senior has just suffered a big blow."

"..." My gaze turned to Senior Jia... Didn't that guy understand what I just did? And what on earth could make him so calmly talk about someone else's experience?

"Hey! Don't talk nonsense..."

"Of course you can keep your mouth shut...but is that really okay?" Senior Jia's expression suddenly grew serious. "Didn't you just ask me what to do? This shows you're not resigned to this, and you want to find out the difference between you and that girl."

“...Having said that...” There was a hint of hesitation in Senior Sister Lu Yunzi’s tone.

And I also verified my thoughts from their conversations.

Hmm, but it doesn't seem to have much to do with me, so can I just leave quietly now?

"Well, there's no point in telling me more. Instead of sitting here idly, I'd better go and figure it out myself." He turned his gaze towards me and said, "If we follow Sheji and look for those two people, we should be able to find some clues, right?"

"Ha ha?"

Did this guy completely misunderstand me?! I'm not bringing my senior with me...

"Is...is that so?" Hope suddenly appeared on the senior student's face.

Senior, don’t believe it so easily!

"Oh my god..."

I always feel like the chat content is completely not on the same channel.

"Um, Sheji..." She stood up excitedly, "What kind of person is that girl named Li Yinghui?"

"......." How could I possibly know, but it seemed a bit inappropriate to say it directly. So in that case...

"Actually, I just met that person, so I don't know exactly what kind of person she is." First of all, I have to tell the truth...and then comes the reversal that I am best at.

"Is that so... That's right..." The senior student lowered her head slightly and sighed, "After all, those two people know each other for so long..."

"However, I don't think there's any real gap between people. Especially when it comes to emotions... So, the gap you think you have isn't unbridgeable. But how to bridge it depends on whether you can understand her..."

"Understand? How do I understand?"

"Of course, it's through an event that happened to a person... Well, I don't know what happened to Senior Sister Li Yinghui..." Then, I turned towards the hospital, "But if you're lucky enough, you might be able to witness something very meaningful to you."

"...Hmm? What do you mean?"

"It's a bit difficult to explain... but if you see it in person, it should be clear." I couldn't help but pull out my phone to check the time. "If we leave now, we should be able to catch up. So, you should come with me."

"Well...well..."

She hesitated for a moment, then nodded and followed me. Suddenly, she looked behind her as if she remembered something and asked, "Li Du, aren't you going?"

"Ah... I'll forget it. I'm really tired, right? I just received a text message saying there are guests at home..." He explained nervously, as if he didn't want to get involved in this matter anymore.

This crappy acting... is it really from that guy in the drama club? In other words, it's not that he didn't understand my body language, but that he deliberately pushed the senior girl to me... I'm really curious about what happened to him.

"Really? Then there's nothing we can do..." the senior student sighed helplessly.

So why did the senior sister believe it so immediately... Then, she smiled at me and said, "Then, let's go."

......................

"Is it okay now? Will it leave scars..."

After treating the wound, Li Yinghui appeared in front of Senior Sun. His tone seemed a little flustered at this time. Although he was concerned... Li Yinghui still noticed something was wrong.

"No, as long as you pay attention, it shouldn't be a problem." She smiled and sat down next to Senior Sun, deliberately putting their hands very close together. "Come to think of it, waiting for me must have been boring, right?"

"...No, not really."

He felt his cheeks getting a little hot, even though there was no one in the lobby on the third floor of the hospital at the moment.

"is that so..."

"Well, I was just thinking about something..."

That Xiao Qian was coming. Although he felt calm right now, if he saw her again, the one who wanted to kill him... could he really have a good conversation? And her purpose was just to talk to Xiao Hui... but would she really not do anything to Hui? After all, he didn't know her, and judging by her behavior... there was no reason for him to be reassured.

"I'm feeling very complicated right now..."

"I know."

A warm and gentle touch came from the back of her hand. Although Li Yinghui looked away, her hand quietly placed on Senior Sun's hand and then gently held it.

"She did something really extreme..."

"I did not mean that..."

"Don't say that..."

Senior Sun felt the hand gradually tighten, and suddenly realized that she was also feeling complicated.

"I understand..."

No one who encounters this kind of thing will let it go easily.

"...I understand too."

Even if you do something excessive, as a friend... you still need to find out the reason behind it.

"Then I won't bother you anymore." Senior Sun slowly stood up, and the hands he had held gradually loosened. "Go find out what she's thinking."

"...Um."

"Then..."

Suddenly he stopped, as if he didn't know what to say next.

"Then what?"

"...Then..." A smile appeared on his lips, "Summer vacation is still a long time away."

The meaning of things in the eyes

We often only understand how much time we have until the last moment.

And the end of the time spent with the people you cherish will only be known at the moment of separation.

Things that have not yet come are like looking at a road in the distance. You may not be able to see the end at the beginning...but as time goes by, the road that you thought would never end at the beginning will eventually be completed by yourself.

The journey always has an end, no matter how long it is.

During the time I was away from my parents, I never thought about what my life would be like after that. Yes, even if I didn't think about it, the time I had was still passing by.

Is there a difference between living a life of mediocrity and living without regrets? Even if you do regret, what's the point? Is there a huge difference between a life with purpose and one without? What's the definitive definition of living like a zombie?

All I know is that no matter whether my life is interesting or boring, the earth will not stop turning.

The road I was on had no end in sight for quite some time...there wasn't even a clear path.

However, everything changed since I met her.

I began to want to understand where I was.

Maybe it's because I never thought about it before, and now I'm thinking too much. Many thoughts flooded into my mind at once, and I couldn't figure out what I was thinking about.

Am I important? What kind of existence am I to her? Can I live by her side as I wish? What I expect, what I desire, what I look forward to, the inexplicable throbbing in my heart, the actions I want to make, the thoughts that are about to come out of my mouth, the impulses that I try hard to suppress... These things that fill my mind make it almost impossible for me to breathe.

Like the straw that broke the camel's back, those insignificant but numerous thoughts finally broke my heart.

In fact, I had already anticipated that I would do something out of the ordinary... I just didn't expect that Xiaohui would see that moment with her own eyes.

"Ah... that seems to be..."

It seems to have come to an end.

I seemed to be able to see that the road I was on was collapsing.

The image I had in her eyes must have been destroyed... From the looks of it, she probably wouldn't allow me to step into her house.

I can't complain to anyone because I was the one who did this...and of course I have to bear the consequences alone.

But...

If she leaves me, will I still have the motivation to keep going?

Wouldn't she tell others about what happened to me? If she distanced herself from me, wouldn't others distance themselves from me too? Wouldn't that guy exaggerate and tell others about it? My situation might be even worse than before...

The constant confusion and fear surrounded my heart again.

I don't want it to turn out like that...

If this continues...I'm going to lose control again...

"don't want..."

I don't want this... I can't accept this fact... But what should I do... What should I do...

I didn't understand what regret was, but at this moment, I began to regret it.

"Can someone... help me..."

I pray for a miracle to happen.

Just like her appearance before me caused a change in my life... who can appear at this moment and change the situation I am in now...

"Want some ice cream? It's my treat."

It was as if he had not witnessed the incident.