I, who advocate giving up, feel like a disqualified person

No matter how hard I try to hide it, I will still inadvertently reveal the same look as the people around me.

"Dad, those people are after your money."

I once mentioned this to my dad.

"I know."

I have the impression that he was always on the go and had a helpless smile on his face. That was the only time I remember him touching my head, and it was also the last time.

"But I...don't we all live in this world for money?"

Money seems to be everything.

Because almost everything I've been through is because of it.

"We're getting a divorce."

My father, who looked more haggard than before, spoke to me calmly.

When I heard this news, I wasn't surprised at all since I knew their relationship was broken. I didn't tell either of them because every time I ran into them, they would give me... things that I wasn't interested in.

Money... what's the point of me having it? It can buy clothes, it can also let me eat food, and it can even bring me more and more satisfaction... but ah... can it buy my ideal family?

Can the things that can be said just like others, things that are not worth mentioning but are still something we are happy to mention, really be bought?

How is that possible...it's impossible to buy it.

So... what's the point? Ironically, I always accept it and put it in my own cash box. The reason is simple: while it's useless to me, it's very useful to others. After all... friendships based on interests are still very important in my environment.

But... whether it's genuine respect or insincere compliments, what I really want... is just some comfort.

Yes, when I enter the house, I shout "I'm back! Mom!" Even if the only answer I get is a slightly breathless "Don't be startled." Even if that kind of gentleness of "You're back, are you tired?" or "What do you want to eat? Ask your dad to buy it for you." is just to keep each other silent and to test each other, I still want to maintain it.

But what is meant to come will always come.

"Who do you want to be with?" "Yeah..."

Although they seemed to be asking for my opinion, their eyes revealed worry. I understood that they were worried about who I would choose, because whoever I chose would be bound by invisible constraints.

"...I..."

I suddenly remembered myself lying between my parents when I was very young. I was asked the same question back then.

"Hey, Xiao Qian, if I divorce your mother." "Yes, yes, if your father has a woman outside, who will you go with?"

At that time, I would definitely hug them nervously and cry, "You are not allowed to divorce, I won't choose either one." Then they would laugh and coax me to sleep.

"Don't worry, we won't do that."

It now seems that promises are not reliable at all.

At this moment, I naturally would not cry, nor would I hug their necks, and they would not change their minds and say things like "I won't divorce."

However, my answer remains unchanged.

“I won’t choose anyone.”

They seemed a little puzzled by the answer.

"Um..." "But..."

Do you think I'm against it? ...You really underestimate me.

"Let me live on my own. Just give me living expenses every month."

I knew they weren't short of money, and I also knew they were very satisfied with this answer, because I couldn't recall them being so in sync with each other for a long time.

"Okay, okay..." "But is this really okay..."

This concern is so fake...

Although I really want to say this, but in this last time, let it be their last kindness to me.

"It's okay...ah..." I'm used to it anyway.

Although I really wanted to say this, the second half of the sentence was interrupted by inexplicable sobs.

People really cannot be strong when they should be sad.

Occasionally touching the direction

"Well...um, Akane..."

I could actually feel the shy rhythm and the slightly rapid breathing, and my accelerating heartbeat began to remind me...this was not my imagination.

"Hmm?" What was I doing before...

I was still unable to get over my memories and couldn't react to what was happening around me.

"Don't be like that. It's a little... embarrassing."

Xiaohui in front of me was looking at me shyly.

"Uh-huh?"

Only then did I realize that I had been holding Xiaohui's hands tightly from the beginning, and seemed to have said something very important.

"Ah, I'm sorry..." After hurriedly letting go of her hand, my gaze turned to the side, my cheeks were so hot, it was a feeling I had never experienced before.

Is that really the case? After meeting her, my life started to become interesting. And that boring life was also made history because of her, right?

"It's okay, it's okay. I was just a little embarrassed by my behavior just now." She smiled, "No need to be so formal... It's better not to do this in this kind of occasion."

"Awkward..." I didn't know how to respond for a moment, but there are indeed quite a few people looking at us now... It is indeed a bit uncomfortable.

But that's what I really mean.

"Okay, okay, let me think about what to do."

"Okay~"

"Well...well, let me be clear in advance, I am very reliable." For some reason, I emphasized this.

"Ok, I know."

Chapter 12: Occasional Directions

When people are idle to a certain extent, they will always find something to do to kill time. The things they want to do are like inspiration, which comes for no reason but is definitely inspired by certain factors.

"Guluululu..."

I accidentally found the bubble-blowing toy I used as a child in the utility room. The soapy water in the bottle had been empty for a long time, so I was bored and made a bottle myself with the laundry detergent at home.

However, I don’t know if it’s because I got the proportions wrong or because I don’t understand the recipe, but anyway... the bubbles I blow out now are far from forming and they shatter before they even leave the tube.

However, these are not a big deal to me. Occasionally, it is a nice experience to lie on the windowsill and look into the distance, not to mention that you can blow bubbles and listen to the sounds.

"Squeak---"

The sound of a bicycle's brakes appeared in my ears, wantonly destroying the silence that belonged to me.

He really has no sense of public morality.

Most people would be napping by now, and being disturbed by such noise would surely lead to some drastic action. As for me, I simply wanted to pour the soapy water on the guy's head and then walk to the bathroom to get a fresh bottle without him noticing.

"Oh~Sheji!" A familiar voice came from downstairs.

"Gulu..."

I stopped my meaningless actions and looked under the windowsill.

Liu Yan, wearing a blue short-sleeved shirt and black shorts, and his mount, a well-maintained mountain bike, appeared in my sight.

"..."

I have reason to believe that the braking sound just now came from his car. Judging from the direction he came from, it doesn't seem like he came here looking for me. He must have been passing by.

"Well..."

It feels a bit troublesome.

"What are you doing there!"

When I was hesitating whether to throw the liquid and the bottle in my hand at him, the guy actually took the initiative to talk to me.

"What are you doing... This is my house, what do you care what I do?" I silently took the blowpipe from my mouth, and then moved the bottle from the windowsill to the side.

"Ahaha." Perhaps thinking I was joking, he actually lowered his head and laughed twice, then looked up at me again, "Then, can I come to your house and sit down?"

"Ah..." Of course not... I restrained myself just as I was about to say this, because I am really free now.

"Wait for me a moment."

....................

"Is there no one else at home?" Liu Yan asked as soon as he stepped into my house, which made me seriously suspect that he had an ulterior motive for coming here this time.

"Well...what were you trying to say."

"I'm a little envious. I was kicked out by my parents." He sighed slightly and sat on the sofa in the living room.

"Well, that's what most parents do..." I'm sure if my parents were home right now, they'd also tell me not to stay home like this. At that moment, I felt a little sympathetic towards him and was about to grab a can of drink from the fridge for him... After all, in a sense, we were in the same boat.

"You insist on making me go out with Xiaoyou, really. Every time she comes, my parents always take her side."

So the leg that had been raised was quickly retracted.

"Oh..." I nodded and slowly sat on the sofa.

"Then, I don't know how I made her angry again, and then she ran away, and I couldn't find her."

"Then what are you doing here... She can't be here with me." Even if you don't appear in my sight, I won't think you are dead. Why do you have to make your presence felt?

"That's right...ah, I've always wanted to find someone to complain to...girls are troublesome or something, and since you've been around a lot of girls, you should have some experience."

"......"

Yes, most of the girls I have come into contact with so far are indeed troublesome, but if you ask me how to get along with them...how would I know?

"Speaking of which, where were you going just now?" I said as I picked up the remote control and turned on the TV.

"Well... I originally wanted to go home."

"Oh, you just abandoned Xiaoyou like that? You're such a scumbag." This sentence was without any emotion, it was just to mock him... or maybe it wasn't even a mockery.

"How should I put it... Wouldn't it be foolish to run into someone in anger?"

“....." What should I do? I really want to say that he is not actually that smart.

"So, why is she angry..." Although I'm not interested, I still want to find out a little bit.

"Hmm... maybe it's because I complain too much?" He thought for a moment. "Anyway, even the slightest misstep will irritate her. I'm pretty much used to it."

"Be careful with your words. Yesterday, a senior colleague was beaten by his girlfriend because he said the wrong thing." Look, a real example is right in front of us.

"Wow, what did he do in the end?" Liu Yan seemed to be interested in this topic and moved closer to me.

"...didn't do anything. He seemed to have given up on his wishes."

"Wow, this is the real scum."

"...You and him are no different." You did exactly the same thing.

"That's different." He corrected, "I'm going to find Xiaoyou no matter what."

"No way, you just wanted to go home..." And you came here to complain, did you think I would believe you? And weren't you just showing off your affection? Don't think I won't hit people.

"That's because I have no way to contact her, so I went home to get my phone." He was slightly stunned. "Oh, yeah, I can borrow your phone."

"..." He said he was not stupid, but he just realized it now.

"It's hard to find a telephone booth now, but when I was a kid there were still one or two on the street."

"Hmm." After thinking about it, he decided not to respond.

"Then please take out your phone and let me use it."

"Well, whatever." I took out my phone from my pocket.

..........................

"Is it ready?" I asked Liu Yan, who had taken a break from watching TV and was about to hand me the phone, out of politeness.