I, who advocate giving up, feel like a disqualified person

"what."

The constant rotation of the four seasons, winter, summer, spring, and autumn, is like the distance between people. When we are in it, we don’t seem to feel anything special. But when we notice it, it’s like two worlds apart.

If I were to compare myself to winter, then she, who is separated from me, would be summer. We share the same four seasons, yet we cannot be together.

Is distance beautiful? In my opinion, it is just a futile joke used to comfort myself.

"I'm thinking about something..."

This wavering feeling...isn't it really regret?

His right hand, suspended in the air, slapped his sweaty forehead hard.

.....................

I am a good liar.

"Xiaohui doesn't want anyone else to be present."

It's not that Xiaohui didn't want to, because I didn't call her at all. The reason I said that... of course I didn't want him to come with me.

Why? Do I need that? Ah... well, Xiaohui is vulnerable, so I'm protecting her. I made my decision from that moment on.

Because of her, I cheated on those guys.

There's no sense of justice; it's just a means to an end. It's not fair, but it's definitely not despicable either.

Although the appearance of that so-called senior was unexpected, and I did have a bad feeling at that moment, it seems that it doesn't matter now.

The relationship between the two is not unbreakable.

Yes, everything will be as usual.

After the summer vacation, I will still be her only friend, and she will always be protected by me.

"It's all because of me..."

Muttering to myself, this is the only truth for me.

Because of me, she won't be bullied.

Because of me, she gradually became cheerful in the depressing atmosphere.

Because of me, she gradually revealed her true character.

Because of me, she is happy every day.

It's all because of me, that's why I'm qualified.

....................

"Really? Why are you here?"

The ice cream shop where Li Yinghui was staying wasn't close to the mall. If she'd walked there slowly, she'd be foolish... Could it be that love blinds people, or does it simply lower their IQ? But even if she was foolish, she could still avoid the heat.

In short, after saying goodbye to Sheji, Ming Xinxi successfully found Li Yinghui, who was a little agitated.

"Well... the reasons are complicated..."

"...Is it because of that boy just now?" Xiao Qian said as she sat next to Li Yinghui and picked up the menu on the table.

"Who else could it be if not him? Seriously, he said that without even saying hello... Tsk..." Xiaohui, who was originally indignant, cut off the topic right at the crucial point. "What happened to that guy?"

"Oh... well..." Xiao Qian responded after a moment's pause, "She seemed to be walking away very disappointed."

“Ah…I see…”

Xiaohui, feeling a little calmer, began to drink the milkshake in the cup in front of her.

"So, who is that guy? It can't be that he's really...the one you like..."

"No, no!"

Despite denying it verbally, her actions directly exposed her thoughts. Furthermore, her shouting attracted the attention of the surrounding customers, which made Xiaohui, who was already blushing, even more nervous.

"Ah..." Ming Xinxi held her forehead helplessly, "I have to learn to control my emotions."

"Stop...talking too much! Anyway, I don't want to see that guy again." Xiaohui continued to drink her drink angrily.

"That would be best..." Xiao Qian said, curling the hair hanging on her shoulders with her index finger, "I'm just worried that someone will be lazy and tossing and turning in bed at night."

"Huh?" Xiaohui, her cheeks flushed red again, angrily slammed the table and then grabbed Xinxi's collar. "Are you mocking me? Absolutely not?!"

“Ahh… I feel dizzy…”

"This is too much! Why are they all like this?" Li Yinghui sighed after letting go of Xiao Qian. "I'm worried. Can you be a little more serious?"

"Okay, okay, no problem." Xiao Qian said as she adjusted her sitting position and straightened her collar.

"Well, since you asked me to help you, you have to be honest with yourself from now on."

The playful tone reached the ears of Li Yinghui who was drinking silently. She did not turn her head to look at Xiao Qian beside her. Then she blew into the cup, "Gugugu...dududu..."

"Stop playing around...answer me properly." Ming Xinxi approached Xiaohui again.

"Hmm~" After noticing Xiao Qian coming closer, Li Yinghui turned her face slightly to the window, as if she didn't want her to see her expression at the moment.

"So, the boy you like is the one from home, ahem... right?"

"Cuckoo~"

Xiaohui nodded as she heard the sound of blowing air into the cup.

"Oh~ So (really) [whisper] that's how it is~"

Li Yinghui, who had always tried her best to avoid having her facial expression seen, naturally could not see what expression was on Xiao Qian's face at this moment.

"Then you have to make peace with him." Xiao Qian's request... or suggestion came to my ears. "That would make me very happy too."

Memories gradually revealed

"..."

My finger hovered over the computer's Enter key, hesitant to press it. Looking at the only 6-attack ranged unit left in my hand, then at the fog covering the position... and the enemy's ranged unit, which was also unaffected by weather, I chose death.

(Gwent game) This is what they call you reap what you sow... I thought I could win by using my leader skill to bring down a thick fog, but StarCraft players' eyesight is still a fatal flaw, and ignoring the card effects was my biggest failure.

"Ahh, despicable NPC!"

I jumped up angrily and threw myself on the bed.

As a demon hunter, not only is he looked down upon all the time, but his cards are not as good as those of NPCs. If he takes other people's things on the street, he will be chased by the guards. Once he is caught, he will be beaten and fined.

"This is too depressing..." Facing the darkness in front of my eyes caused by the quilt covering my eyes, I could only complain helplessly.

Then, he turned over lazily and a light appeared before his eyes.

"...Um..."

I sighed slightly, seeing the familiar ceiling. Because my eyes had been oppressed for a while, my vision wasn't very clear... almost as blurry as my thoughts.

"I always feel... so free."

There's a saying...a day's plan begins in the morning, a year's plan begins in spring. In a sense, how you start determines how things turn out. For example, every day I use the lucky draw function on my phone to test my luck. If I don't win anything, everything's fine. But if I win something by chance, I'll be extra cautious...after all, my luck is limited.

Hmm... seems to have gone off topic.

But, that annoying senior has been bothering me for the past few days, and I really hope he'll stop bothering me. I don't know if it's because I'm used to his shamelessness, or if we really get along... or if yesterday's incident has affected me. Anyway, as I sit at my computer, I still vaguely feel that he should come to me to discuss what to do next.

“It really causes trouble for others…”

He keeps bothering me when nothing's wrong, but when there's a real problem, he avoids me as if he's afraid of causing me trouble. Either he shouldn't have come in the first place, or he should have solved the problem properly. Damn it.

"hateful..."

While complaining, I slowly straightened up and held my forehead. I seemed to feel a slight tremor... because I was thinking not only about my predecessors, but also about myself.

Afterwards, I calmed down a little and sat in front of the computer screen again... Even if my heart was confused, I still had to play Gwent.

Chapter 11: Memories Gradually Revealed

"That would make me happy too."

It wasn't what I really thought, but I said it anyway.

"Um, well...thank you, Xiaohui."

It seems like I never get tired of this shy tone no matter how many times I hear it... No, how could I possibly get tired of it? I shouldn't be satisfied no matter how many times I hear it.

"No...you're welcome."

Ah, you can see a glimpse of her profile, those cute cheeks that always turn red when talking about love, and those delicate lips next to the plastic straw... everything is so desirable.

And I was the only one who could see all this from such a close distance.

"I.. really don't know what to do."

I was caught off guard when she suddenly took my hands. It was clearly just a comfortable warmth... but somehow, it felt like an electric shock, and my heartbeat suddenly quickened...

Is that so? Is this the feeling she had when she mentioned that boy?

Always felt...

"Na."

"Well..."

What appeared before my eyes was a beautiful face that had approached me at some point. Her clear eyes, which had always been there since I'd known her, stared back at me, a faint glint of tears in them.

"Really... Thank you so much... I didn't know how to get along with him since then..."

Then...when was it?

"But with your help... I think it will be okay."

"..."

Is this... what they call reliance? Have I become someone who can be relied upon?

"Yes." I should be smiling.

I closed my eyes for a moment to calm myself down, "Because we are... friends."

Because the person in front of me is my best friend, so it is the most normal thing to say this in front of her. In her eyes, the one who has always helped her and encouraged her is undoubtedly me, and of course my only friend can only be me.

And her understanding of me only stops at this point...

Like a knight swearing allegiance to the princess, I held her hands tightly.

"You can rely on me as much as you want, and I won't have any complaints."

............................

Humans are creatures that follow their instincts... I understood that at a very young age.

I also learned the difference between people, even from the perspective of family.

"My dad..." "My mom gave it to me yesterday..." "Hahaha, my mom agreed today..." "And then..."

When I noticed that my classmates all looked happy when they talked about their parents, I suddenly realized that my so-called family was very different from other people's families.

In my memory, it is difficult for me to see my parents when I get home from school.

"Can't you see I'm busy? Don't bother me..."

After finding my mother at the nearby mahjong hall, she would take a coin from the pile of change and hand it to me...or rather, throw it to me. That was my dinner money and the only thing I could show off.

"Um... Sister Akane..." "Can I..."

At that time, it was almost impossible for my peers to get pocket money, not to mention that the amount I received each time was more than what I needed for dinner.

Then, the neighbors or classmates who lived nearby would come up to me, and after a few symbolic chats, they would want me to "treat" them some snacks or small toys.

For some reason, although I have a lot of so-called "friends" in the eyes of others, I extremely hate seeing them getting close to me.

Later, when I learned the word "flatter" in my textbook, the expressions of those guys came to my mind.

At an age when one doesn't know how to hide anything, that expression full of desire and devoid of any sincerity is clearly visible.

And that can't be called "friendship" at all, it's just a master-servant relationship. I provide benefits, and they will listen to me. It's boring and useless.

Although the guy I call Dad is just a small boss, the people around him are definitely the same as those who gather around me.