My deskmate is actually my yandere reader.

Kurose Izumi remained silent, turning her body away from Shiraishi Chiren, refusing to look at her.

"Izumi, are you transferring schools?" Shiraishi Chiren asked softly. "Can you tell me if it's true?"

"...How did you know? Did Zhenwu tell you?"

"So, she's transferring schools..." Shiraishi Chiren didn't answer Kurose Izumi, but just muttered to herself absentmindedly.

"...So what if I transfer schools?" Kurose Izumi said in a low voice, her face filled with unbearable loneliness.

Transferring schools meant that he would rarely see Shiraishi Chiren again, and his connection with her would be almost nonexistent.

If he really decides to transfer schools, it means he is determined to cut ties with everything.

“I… will be very lonely,” Shiraishi Chiren answered truthfully.

"...Is that so?"

"Izumi, please don't transfer schools, okay?" Shiraishi Chiren said softly, her tone tinged with pleading.

"If I don't transfer schools, you'll feel sad seeing me, right? I think we..."

Just as Kurose Izumi hardened her heart and was about to utter the most resolute words, Shiraishi Chiren abruptly interrupted her, saying, "No, don't! Izumi, stop talking!"

"Quan, don't transfer schools. Just let me watch over you. Don't leave me, okay?"

"Didn't you say you wouldn't leave me? You promised me."

Hearing the helpless words behind her, Kurose Izumi closed her eyes in unbearable pain.

"Quan, I know you can't forgive me yet, but I will try my best to make you forgive me. I will make it up to you. You made me..."

As if she could no longer hold back, Kurose Izumi suddenly turned around to face Shiraishi Chire and interrupted her, saying, "How do you want me to forgive you?"

"I...don't know." Shiraishi Chiren clenched her hands, not daring to look into Kurose Izumi's eyes.

Because... at this moment, his eyes were filled with sadness and despair from being deceived.

Kurose Izumi's voice trembled as she said, each word distinct, "Why did you do all this? It's... unnecessary, isn't it?"

Hasn't Shiraishi Chiren already gotten what she wanted?

Why try to keep him here and show him how reluctant you are to let him go?

That's really—so despicable.

This caused the determination that Izumi Kurose had painstakingly built up over several days to suddenly collapse in just a few minutes.

He couldn't bring himself to say anything harsh to Shiraishi Chiren, who was looking sad and helpless, and to make a decision that would hurt both of them.

"because I love you."

Again.

And so, with that sincere demeanor, she spoke of that false love.

Kurose Izumi didn't know how to believe Shiraishi Chiren, who had been deceiving him and keeping him in the dark.

Even though he forced himself to believe in Shiraishi Chire's love, he still harbored resentment and could never truly let go of it.

"Sen... Shiraishi, don't say that again. How can I believe you, believe in your love?" Kurose Izumi's expression was downcast, her voice broken and sometimes loud, sometimes soft.

"Quan, these past two days, while you were thinking of me, I was thinking of you too..."

Chiren Shiraishi ignored the change in how Izumi Kurose addressed her; it was a trivial matter at the moment.

Next, she will express her feelings and try to win over Kurose Izumi so that he can believe her.

“Every night, I toss and turn, wondering what you are thinking, whether you are having trouble sleeping, and whether you are in pain.”

"I know you think I don't love you, and that everything I do is just to rewrite the ending."

"No, that's the only thing I can be sure of—I love you. It's because I love you that I dare not reveal that I am Kuchiki Touko."

"It's true that I want to be with you, and it's also true that I love you."

"From beginning to end, without your knowledge, I may have liked you for a very, very long time."

125. Their relationship has improved somewhat.

The question of how long Shiraishi Chiren loved Kurose Izumi goes back to about a year ago.

From initial excitement and fondness for the subject to gradually developing an interest and then making plans step by step.

The outcome is secondary.

Shiraishi Chiren's goal has always been Kurose Izumi.

Otherwise, if she had simply maintained her identity as Kuchiki Touko, why would she have bothered to plan the future?

She simply wanted to give Kurose Izumi a dreamlike encounter, hoping he would fall in love with her.

Chire Shiraishi knew that she was excellent and loved by everyone.

But would that be useful?

I sat next to Kurose Izumi for a year, and our daily interactions were limited to just greeting each other.

He never showed her any affection whatsoever, not at all.

Every moment I shared with Izumi Kurose was genuine, and so were my feelings.

She was very happy and wanted to continue living like this with Izumi Kurose forever and ever.

So, she panicked when faced with exposure.

It was because she deeply loved Kurose Izumi and did not want to deepen his pain and her own sins that she restrained the impulse to take revenge on Hirasawa Masato.

Unfortunately, these thoughts and feelings remained unknown to Izumi Kurose.

The reality is that she manipulated and deceived Izumi Kurose, making it difficult for him to trust himself anymore.

Can we blame Kurose Izumi for being too stubborn and tactless?

No.

She could only blame herself for being too clumsy and unable to love properly, thus hurting Kurose Izumi.

"Quan, actually, there are some things that I can't forgive myself for, more than you."

At some point, Shiraishi Chiren raised her head and looked at Kurose Izumi, meeting his gaze.

Amidst Kurose Izumi's astonished expression, his eyes reflected the tear-streaked face of Shiraishi Chiren.

"I'm the one who hurt you and made you suffer so much."

"I'm not as good or perfect as you think. I've been deceiving you all along."

"But my love for you is genuine. I can confirm it, I'm certain of it. Please believe me, Izumi!"

Kurose Izumi pressed her thin lips together tightly, her hand under the blanket clenched so hard it turned white.

At this moment, he could no longer contain the emotions surging within him and began to want to disregard everything.

Kurose Izumi gritted her teeth and roared in a hoarse voice, "How can you expect me to believe you?"

"Didn't you pretend to be Kuchiki Touko and make me do something to betray you behind Shiraishi Chiren's back?"

"Is it fun? Is it interesting?"

"When you saw me in distress and pain, did you feel any pity? Did you ever consider that what you were doing was wrong?"

"Tell me, is this what it means to love me?"

"If Zhenwu doesn't tell me, are you going to keep deceiving me and toying with me forever?!"

Throughout the entire incident, Izumi Kurose remained preoccupied with the events of that night, unable to let go of the past.

He could forgive everything, but there was one thing he could not forgive.

The thought of Kuchiki Touko's repulsive appearance overlapping with Shiraishi Chiren made him feel as if someone was choking him, making it hard to breathe.

The image of Shiraishi Chiren in his mind completely collapsed the moment it was exposed.

"Quan, I..."

"Stop calling me Quan!"

Kurose Izumi stared intently at Shiraishi Chiren, her eyes bloodshot and her face contorted with rage.

"What do you mean by 'you can't forgive yourself as much as I can't forgive'?"

"Do you know how painful it is for me to think that you are Kuchiki Touko? I wish I could die?"

Do you know what?!

Kurose Izumi had always regarded Shiraishi Chire, who was the white Kikyo, as her ideal woman, but she was shattered.

The once pure white flowers bloomed in delusion, so ugly and disgusting.

Whenever Shiraishi Chiren said she loved him, her image would always overlap with that of Kuchiki Touko.

At this moment, Izumi Kurose might even question her own love.

He felt that he loved a false image of Shiraishi Chiren, and that he didn't understand her at all.

"...I'm sorry." Shiraishi Chiren closed her eyes sadly and apologized softly.

Unfortunately, the apology was too insignificant, so insignificant that it wouldn't make either of them feel any better.

"Didn't you say not to apologize to me? Do you think I should do you any favors?"

"Now—how have you treated me?!"

"Have I done anything to wrong you?!"

Kurose Izumi was agitated, with bulging veins on his neck and forehead, as all the emotions he had been suppressing erupted at that moment.

Admittedly, he was wronging Shiraishi Chiren by promising Kuchiki Touko that he would keep in touch with her behind her back.

However, he realized his mistake at the right time, confirmed his feelings, revealed everything to Shiraishi Chiren, and firmly chose her.

The two of them have talked things out, and there's no question of how much they feel sorry for each other.

But Shiraishi Chiren concealed his secrets from him, never realizing her mistake, and even went further astray.