Love, Gun, Cupid

"It feels so familiar," Lin Jiade said.

"The celestial education system is similar to that of this planet. And, most importantly, you are the lover I have chosen."

Lin Jiade said with difficulty, "I'm still a child, and I haven't thought about dating yet."

"It's not too late to consider it now."

Lin Jiade shook his head again: "But I'm too big, average-looking, have no income, can't talk, and don't have the emotional intelligence to pursue girls. I'm an unattractive man."

"It's okay, I like challenging myself on hard mode."

"Uh, I mean, this simply won't work; I don't have a suitable candidate. Sorry, is there another way I can repay your kindness?"

"Therefore, I'm here to arrange your blind date. Look, I'm Cupid, the messenger of love. With me on your side, are you still afraid of not finding someone destined for you?"

In my opinion, this is a win-win situation: I win twice, which allows me to recharge and complete my graduation project;

If you win once, with Cupid by your side, you can find your true love instead of ending up nearing thirty, pressured into hasty blind dates, unwillingly marrying, and having children with someone you don't love, spending the rest of your life with that person.

Cupid mercilessly struck at Lin Jiade's deepest anxieties: marriage was still a long way off, but it was a very real issue.

Lin Jiade remained silent, but his expression told Du Juan that he was wavering. So Du Juan changed her tone, making her voice sound even more mournful—

"According to the laws of the heavens, Cupid is not allowed to directly interfere in human life—except for her chosen lover."

I chose you to save you, so that I could legally use magic on you. Your wounds have consumed half of my energy, and I can't untie you to find someone else now.

If you can't complete your internship goals, you can't defend your thesis; if you can't defend your thesis, you won't get your degree certificate; without a degree certificate, you can't become a formal Cupid, and you won't be able to find a good job.

I still have student loan debts to pay. If I can't pay them back, my credit score will drop, and I'll end up homeless, selling anti-tank rocket launchers.

Can you bear to see a kind girl, who risked dropping out of school and gambled her life to save you, face such a heavy future?

Chapter Three: Win-Win

Lin Jiade knew that the woman was using moral blackmail, and unfortunately, he was a moral person.

Moreover, he had been captivated by her appearance, so hearing her tearful voice, he felt as if Du Juan had driven him to a dead end—

After all, Du Juan had saved his life, and he had to repay that kindness. If his benefactor were to suffer because of him, he would be tormented by his conscience for the rest of his life... He convinced himself of this.

He yelled, "I'll help you, I admit it! Anyway, if I don't have a girlfriend, I'll be forced to go on blind dates in a few years. Come on, going on blind dates won't hurt you, I'll go!"

"Pfft, you've finally figured it out." Du Juan couldn't help but chuckle. "Sign this first."

The young man looked down at the document, which was three pages long. In short, it was an internship contract from the Celestial Cupid Nurturing Academy, with clauses and rules exactly the same as the contracts he had seen from his senior classmates.

The more formal Du Juan made it, the more uneasy Lin Jiade felt; he had the illusion that he had been sold into the plantation. But out of gratitude, he signed the contract.

"No, you actually signed it."

Du Juan was surprised to see Lin Jiade's signature: "Aren't you afraid I'll tamper with the contract and prepare an agreement that will ruin you forever?"

“You are far stronger than me and possess mysterious magic. If you wanted to manipulate me, you wouldn’t need to go to such lengths. Besides, given the lack of information, I think I should give my savior basic trust,” Lin Jiade replied.

"That's really nice to hear."

Du Juan also began to write, and the document immediately emitted a sulfurous stench, turning into a crimson heart-shaped flame that dissipated in the air. Seeing this, Lin Jiade vaguely sensed something was amiss, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it.

He thought again, what would be the point of someone so beautiful and powerful toying with someone as insignificant as him? He was probably overthinking it.

“How can I cooperate with you?” he asked.

After signing the contract, even Lin Jiade, whose senses weren't very sharp, could feel that Cupid was treating him more sincerely.

She dropped her business-like tone and said somewhat shyly, "Ah, I need to ask for your opinion on this."

"You're welcome, please speak."

"You've made up your mind to go on blind dates, haven't you?"

Lin Jiade nodded: "To be honest, I've been led by the nose the whole time, and I haven't had time to think."

So far, I'm... trying to repay a debt of gratitude? I repay favors to others, but repaying a favor through a blind date is really... defying common sense.

Du Juan gave a thumbs up: "I promise, this is a way you won't regret. I promise, this is a win-win situation."

"Okay, you win twice, I win once. And then, what's the real point?"

"If I arranged for you to meet a non-human woman, would you object?" Dujuan asked.

"Wait a minute, what is 'human-like girl'? Is it the 'human-like girl' from Bikabika or the 'human-like girl' from Bilibili?"

Du Juan asked with a smile, "What kind of non-human mother do you imagine?"

This isn't something you should say to a woman you've just met. Lin Jiade scratched the back of his head, preparing to cosplay King Xuan of Qi and change the subject.

“Compared to the celestial realm, magic, and contracts we mentioned before, I think non-human girls are actually more acceptable to single men,” Du Juan said.

"What?"

"Because I have observed that among you Homo sapiens, the people with the most widespread and the most knowledgeable about sex are 99 out of 100 who are virgins."

Lin Jiade looked slightly embarrassed: "Like Lord Ye who loved dragons but was terrified of them, you know? I may have discussed some non-human aptitudes with netizens, but that doesn't mean my real-life orientation is like that."

"You've never even met the non-human mother, so why are you so sure it's impossible?" Dujuan asked.

“You’re not me, so how could you… never mind, we’re not Wei Zhuangzi and Kato Keiko.”

Lin Jiade thought for a moment, then said solemnly, "In my opinion, love is merely a matter between humans."

Du Juan shook her head: "That's too narrow-minded. Even on this planet, there are many races that understand love."

"Many races?"

Du Juan retorted, "You've already accepted the premise that I'm Cupid and saved you with magic, so is it strange that there's intelligent life other than humans on this planet?"

"But when you were giving me the runaround before, you always answered with 'it's magic!'"

Du Juan turned her head, trying to whistle to get away with it, but she didn't have the skill, so only an awkward "Fu Fu" sound echoed.

Whether it's the immortal black serpent or Cupid, a bright gaze naturally subdues all scheming individuals. Under Lin Jiade's bright gaze, Du Juan had no choice but to reply, "Sigh, alright, I'll just say it within the scope of what you can understand."

Besides humans, other intelligent life forms also inhabit this world. The oldest of them existed when you humans were still upright apes, while the youngest were born in modern times.

Including the celestial realm where I reside, some planets have been observing the evolution of upright apes for various purposes. At that time, the intervention was limited to enlightening tribal leaders.

But 70,000 years ago, during the catastrophe known as the 'Ice Age', Homo sapiens numbered only 2000 worldwide at the height of their crisis, forcing observers from other planets to become more deeply involved in the affairs of this planet.

After a long period of war, intrigue, lust, and disease, the descendants of upright apes and other races built a harmonious social order, and those beings lived in human society in the form of humans.

For now, this understanding is sufficient.

"Currently?"

Du Juan shook her head: "This part of your history is a required course at Cupid Academy, and its status is equivalent to any one of the three top schools of mathematics—Tohsaka Geometry, Matou Algebra and Analysis, and Einzbern."

I completed the course in three semesters, so explaining it in detail would be too complicated. For now, just understand the modern order as one where different races coexist with humans, but are largely under human control.

"So, according to you, the criminal duo who went fishing tonight to try and kill me..."

Du Juan replied, "I dare say that the one who attacked you must be an alien race. You're just unlucky to have encountered a few alien races that don't obey human order. As I said before, this matter is being handled by someone, so you don't need to worry."

Lin Jiade nodded: "I'm gradually understanding everything. To sum it up, tonight was about me being lured by a non-human criminal and then being saved by you using your life magic when you happened to be passing by."

"You finally understand." Du Juan had a relieved expression on her face, as if she had finally seen the light. "So, what about what I told you?"

Lin Jiade was on the verge of tears: "My psychology is really normal. You are Cupid in charge of marriage and love, you should know that forced relationships are never sweet."

Du Juan laughed and said, "My colleague in the Heavenly Realm who is in charge of the west, the Old Man of the Moon, told me that seeing is believing. If you haven't met the other person on a blind date, how do you know if it's a forced match or a sweet melon that you'd love to have another slice of?"

The most important thing in Chapter Four

Lin Jiade stubbornly replied, "But it's not human after all."

Cupid lamented, "Alas, think about it carefully. Your human mechanism of being able to go into heat anytime, anywhere—isn't that meant to encourage you to try all sorts of things? Opportunities are presented to you, yet you choose to resist. What a waste!"

So, our estrus mechanism can also be explained as facilitating interspecies communication? Lin Jiade was dumbfounded.

Cupid held up two fingers and extended them in front of Lin Jiade, making a scissor gesture, which startled Lin Jiade.

Men typically have two houses governing affairs: the upper house is dominated by reason, while the lower house is dominated by instinct.

The House of Lords sets the upper limit for human behavior, which is why the world is never short of heroes; the House of Commons sets the lower limit for human behavior, which is why even heroes can't resist the charms of a beautiful woman.

Du Juan's scissor-hand gesture caused panic in Lin Jiade's House of Commons, and the images of Zhao Gao, Zhang Rang, Tong Guan, Liu Jin, and Wei Zhongxian from history textbooks came to mind.

"And besides, this is a win-win situation," Du Juan said.

Lin Jiade snapped out of his delusions and breathed a sigh of relief: "We won again?"

"Well, let me first tell you how I won: even though we live in the same society, the Empire's pervasive discrimination makes the living conditions of alien races much harsher than those of humans."

Those who cannot adapt to the environment are constantly eliminated. Through generations of selection, the average individual quality of non-human women is superior to that of human women.

Lin Jiade looked embarrassed: "Uh, you're an alien, so you can say whatever you want. I can't agree with this view; it's... incorrect."

"Well, just pretend the alien in front of you is talking to itself. Anyway, if your blind date with the alien mother works out, I can draw more energy from your love."

Lin Jiade pointed to himself and asked, "And what about me?"

Du Juan countered, "Lin Jiade, answer me honestly, regarding your blind date, do you hope she's pretty?"

"Ah."

"Do you hope that her family's financial situation is the same as yours, or even better, so that the financial pressure you face when you're together will be less?"

"Ok!"

"Do you want her to be pure in body and soul, and faithful to you?"

"Ah."

"Do you hope she has a matching educational background, a compatible personality, and that you both have common topics to discuss?"

"Um……"

Cupid finally asked, "Do you think you can find a woman like that?"

Lin Jiade answered without hesitation: "It's impossible. I know my own limitations."

“However, the possibility of a non-human mother is possible, and that’s where our win-win situation lies,” Du Juan said.

"Why? A woman with such outstanding qualities, whether human or not, should have no shortage of suitors," Lin Jiade Durant said self-deprecatingly. "I wouldn't even get a chance to drink her bathwater."

"Because there are few men of their kind, and mating with humans can help them integrate into human society."

Why is there a gender imbalance?