If you were made a mascot, you would become a legend in the police force.

"Bang!"

The door to the municipal bureau's conference room was violently pushed open by a thick bear paw. The door slammed against the wall with a loud, teeth-grinding thud, startling everyone who was frowning and studying a public relations plan.

Li Tuantuan strode in aggressively.

Without any hesitation, he jumped onto the conference table and slammed the iPad, which was playing a video with negative reviews, in front of Director Chen. With a loud "thud," the screen trembled.

Just as Director Chen was about to speak, the black crow on Li Tuantuan's shoulder suddenly bristled, spread its wings, and shouted in an extremely sharp and sarcastic tone, like that of a "menopausal headmaster":

"They're blind! They're all blind! Did these keyboard warriors donate their brains to a hot pot restaurant for a hot pot meal?!"

The entire room fell silent.

Crow Coal Ball took a deep breath and continued his tirade: "Look at these comments! 'Suggesting euthanasia'? 'Wasting taxpayers' money'? Bah! If you were bad guys, you'd all be fertilizer by now! And you want lawyer's letters! Send lawyer's letters! Sue them until they're left with nothing!"

Li Tuantuan nodded in satisfaction, pointed at the coal ball with its paw, and then at Director Chen, its meaning clear: Listen to it, it's my mouth-swallowing substitute.

Lin Wan covered her forehead. Although the scene was chaotic, she had to admit... that bird's cursing was really satisfying.

"Alright, alright, everyone, calm down." The head of the publicity department wiped away cold sweat. "The current public opinion is being maliciously manipulated. That internet celebrity 'Lele' edited video is stirring up trouble, portraying the panda as a bullying, corrupt police officer... oh no, a vicious panda. The only solution is to hold a press conference immediately and use the full video to refute them."

Li Tuantuan was initially reluctant to attend the press conference. However, the thought of those uninformed netizens cursing his ancestors online (although he didn't even know who the panda's ancestors were) made him furious.

He glanced at the lump of coal on his shoulder.

Coal Ball understood immediately, a sly glint in its tiny, beady eyes: "Don't worry, brother, if those bastards dare to come, I'll spray them until they can't take care of themselves."

……

Half an hour later, in the Municipal Public Security Bureau's press conference hall.

The audience was packed, and flashbulbs were going off like crazy, making everyone dizzy. The air was thick with tension, as dozens of media outlets had already set up their cameras and microphones, ready to capture the embarrassing moment of this "top celebrity who crashed and burned."

Li Tuantuan, wearing a specially made tactical vest and sunglasses, sat upright in the center. He didn't act cute or slouch as usual; instead, he stood ramrod straight, crossed his arms, and exuded a low-pressure aura that said, "I'm really unhappy."

On his shoulder, the coal ball stood like a black statue, motionless, only its eyes coldly scanning the entire scene.

The press conference had just begun, and before the polite words were even finished, a middle-aged reporter with gold-rimmed glasses and slicked-back hair stood up impatiently, practically shoving the microphone in Li Tuantuan's face.

"Officer Li... or rather, Panda codename 001." The bespectacled reporter pushed up his glasses, a mocking smile playing on his lips. "Everyone's seen the video. As a public official, even if you're a national treasure, robbing vendors in broad daylight, intimidating civilians, and not even turning on your body camera—doesn't that mean privilege is above the law?"

This question is extremely tricky, directly accusing the defendant of "privilege" and "bullying ordinary people".

The scene was in an uproar, and the live stream chat was flooded with comments:

[Good question! This kind of wild beast should be put back in its cage!]

How could something like this infiltrate the police force?

[Get out of the system!]

Just as Lin Wan picked up the microphone to explain, Li Tuantuan suddenly sneered (though it sounded like a sneeze) and reached out to hold Lin Wan down.

If we're going to play, let's go big.

He tilted his head slightly and gave Coal Ball a look.

"Go, Pikachu!"

The coal ball instantly entered "statue mode," jumped forward, stood in front of the microphone, and cleared its throat.

"Privilege? You call that privilege?"

A clear, childlike voice rang out through the microphone, startling everyone present.

The bespectacled reporter was dumbfounded: "This bird... is talking?"

Coal Ball didn't give him a chance to react at all. Suddenly, he stretched out his neck, and his originally clear voice instantly changed, becoming hoarse, greasy, and full of thuggishness—it was none other than the voice of the tattoo stall owner at the flower and bird market!

"You old bastard! You ruined my business, believe me or not I'll make you leave here strangled!"

"This is a diseased bird laced with performance-enhancing drugs; selling it for two thousand is ripping people off!"

The entire audience erupted in uproar!

This bird... it actually recreated the conversation from the scene?! It's practically a walking voice recorder!

After mimicking the situation, Coal Ball quickly switched back to mocking mode, pointing its wings at the bespectacled reporter: "Did you hear that? This is what you call 'ordinary people'? This is what you call 'honest merchants'? Are those gold-rimmed glasses welded to your retina? Can't you see such an obvious scam? You're only staring at my brother for not paying?"

The bespectacled reporter's face instantly turned a deep shade of liver, but he still managed to refute, "This...this is just the bird's side of the story! Who knows if it was trained by you..."

"Only one side of the story?"

Lin Wan pressed the play button at the opportune moment.

The large screen lit up instantly, displaying the high-definition, uncensored, full version of the footage captured by Lin Wan's body camera.

The footage shows the tattoo stall owner shoving the old man menacingly, waving an iron rod to threaten the crowd, and Li Tuantuan standing in front of the old man like a god descending to earth, crushing the lock to rescue the sick bird—not a single frame is missing.

Even the stall owner's own admission that "it was a dyed crow" was clearly recorded.

The truth has not only come to light, but it has also utterly humiliated the haters.

The chat in the live stream, which was just shouting, froze for three seconds, and then the tide turned at lightning speed:

[Holy crap! So that's how it is!]

[That was to save someone! The way Gun Gun squeezed the lock was so cool!]

[This bird is amazing! It can even mimic the speech of bad guys!]

[The person who just cursed at Gungun should come out and get beaten! This guy is an anti-fraud hero!]

The bespectacled reporter was now drenched in sweat. Looking at the big screen, he knew he was done for. But he was still unwilling to give up, trying to nitpick: "Ahem, even if there was a reason, this bird… its language was so vulgar, openly insulting journalists at a press conference. Doesn't that also represent…?"

"quality?"

Coal Ball tilted its head, staring at the reporter, then suddenly flapped its wings and flew up, landing directly on the reporter's camera.

It lowered its head and looked at the dark camera lens with an expression as if it were looking at an idiot.

"You're talking to me about manners? Then why don't you turn off your beauty filter first! And—"

Coal Ball pecked the side of the camera and shouted, "Thanks to 'Top Ranker' for the rocket! Follow us so you don't get lost, everyone!"

It's mimicking the tone of that reporter who was secretly asking for donations backstage!

"Trying to gain attention by insulting my brother, and then pretending to be virtuous?" Coal Ball flew back onto Li Tuantuan's shoulder, spitting disdainfully, "You haven't even taken off your lens cap, what are you pretending to be a professional for! I bet you're just hopelessly bald and trying to make money off hair transplants!"

"puff--"

Someone in the room laughed first, and then everyone burst into laughter.

The reporter was so angry that his wig almost fell over. He covered his face and fled in a sorry state amidst the laughter of the entire audience.

Li Tuantuan sat on the stage, maintaining her aloof and boss-like posture, but her eyes behind her sunglasses smiled like crescent moons.

He mentally gave Coal Ball a thumbs up: "Well done, I'll treat you to a nice meal tonight. Australian steak, all you can eat."

Coal Ball proudly raised its head and replied in its mind, "Of course! By the way, bro, what does 'Top Ranker' mean? I saw those words flashing on that bastard's phone, so I read them aloud."

Li Tuantuan: "..."

Good heavens, this learning ability is terrifying.

In this battle, the "Black and White Duo" went completely on a rampage online.

The combination of "Anti-Fraud Panda" and "Poisonous Tongue Crow" became the new brand of the city bureau overnight.

However, Li Tuantuan was unaware that in an inconspicuous corner of the press conference, a pair of cold eyes were fixed on the crow that had made a name for itself on the stage.

The man pulled his baseball cap down low and whispered into the miniature microphone in his collar, "Target confirmed. S-class mutant. Didn't expect to find such a good find in the police station... The boss will definitely be interested."