If you were made a mascot, you would become a legend in the police force.

The press conference was still trending at the top of the search rankings, and the title of "anti-fraud monster" had just resounded across the internet when real trouble began to follow.

There was no need for the "baseball cap guy" hiding in the shadows to intervene; the official response was far faster than that of the underground forces. After all, a crow that can tell jokes and knows how to fight fraud causes a stir in the biological world no less than an atomic bomb explosion.

The door to the municipal bureau's conference room was tightly closed, and a somber atmosphere filled the air.

The special bowl of milk with double the amount of honey in front of Li Tuantuan no longer smelled good. He sat upright in the main seat, his sunglasses removed, revealing dark circles under his eyes that looked innocent but were actually wary.

Opposite him sat an elderly man with gray hair and sharp, eagle-like eyes.

Professor Wang Weishan of the Institute of Zoology, Chinese Academy of Sciences. A leading figure in animal behavior in China, it is said that he can analyze whether a monkey had broken up with its boyfriend the night before, even if the monkey just blinked at him.

Behind Professor Wang, two assistants were setting up various sophisticated instruments whose names they didn't know: an infrared scanner, a brainwave monitoring headgear, and even a bio-frequency analyzer modified from a lie detector.

"Director Chen, I won't beat around the bush." ​​Professor Wang pushed up his thick-rimmed glasses, his gaze fixed on Coal Ball, who was engrossed in pecking at beef. "I've seen the press conference. That level of logical expression was definitely not just parroting. If this crow possesses independent higher intelligence, according to the Biosafety Law and the National Special Species Management Regulations, it must be brought back to Beijing for comprehensive research."

A comprehensive study.

These five words, translated into bear language, mean: slice, draw blood, insert tubes, and may even be preserved in formalin as a specimen.

Li Tuantuan's heart tightened, and every ounce of fat on her body tensed. Although the world is tolerant of highly intelligent animals, the premise is that they are "controllable." If these scientists knew that Coal Ball could not only think, but also curse, and even have antisocial personality disorder, it would definitely be a life sentence in jail.

At this moment, Coal Ball, whose mouth was full of blood, paused, clearly having understood.

"Big brother... that old man's box looks like it contains scalpels." Coal Ball's terrified voice exploded in Li Tuantuan's mind, "If I get turned into a specimen, I'll expose you for secretly looking at Lin Wan's photos on WeChat Moments!"

Li Tuantuan's lips twitched, and she roared in her mind, "Shut up! If you don't want to die, then act! You're a bird! A stupid bird that only knows how to repeat itself! Take your intelligence offline, now! Immediately!"

Professor Wang turned on the recorder, his eyes burning with fervor as he leaned closer to the coal ball: "Little guy, don't be nervous. Come on, look at me. If you can understand, nod. Tell me, what does 1 plus 1 equal?"

If the coal briquette shows even the slightest sign of logical thinking, this cage must be welded shut today.

Everyone in the conference room held their breath. Lin Wan's palms were sweating, and her hands involuntarily went to her waist.

Under everyone's watchful eyes, Coal Ball tilted its dark head. Its once shrewd little eyes suddenly seemed to have been ripped out of their sockets, becoming dull, unfocused, and even a little cross-eyed.

It opened its mouth, which was covered in beef scraps, and suddenly let out an extremely sharp, off-key cry that seemed to have traveled all the way to Siberia:

"We recycle old color TVs, refrigerators, washing machines, and water heaters—in exchange for washbasins!"

Professor Wang was stunned: "What?"

Before the professor could react, Coal Ball flapped its wings and jumped onto the table, launching into a rapid-fire, illogical monologue at the professor's receding hairline:

"Huge sale! Everything for two dollars! You won't regret it for two dollars! A real clearance sale! A real clearance sale!"

To make it even more realistic, it even performed an extremely bizarre "head-shaking dance," making it look like one of those cheap electric toy birds sold at roadside stalls for ten yuan each.

Li Tuantuan mentally gave Coal Ball a thumbs up: This acting deserves an Oscar. That's exactly the kind of broadcast script she often heard at the flower and bird market; this guy actually memorized it all.

Professor Wang frowned, and unwilling to give up, pulled out a card with a complex geometric shape: "What about this one? What shape is this?"

Without even glancing at it, Coal Ball continued in his repeating mode, this time in a different style, shouting in a weathered, husky voice:

"Gangzi! Pour Dad a glass of water! Gangzi! Dad's thirsty!"

The assistant awkwardly whispered a reminder: "Professor... the background check on this crow shows that it used to roam the flower and bird market, so it might... have overheard a lot of random things."

Professor Wang's fervor gradually cooled, turning into deep skepticism. He spent a long time scanning the coal ball with his instrument, and the brainwave data showed that the bird's current mental activity was extremely low, with only two thoughts: "eat" and "make noise."

"It seems... I was indeed overthinking it." Professor Wang sighed, somewhat disappointed as he put away the card. "The unique structure of the vocal cords, coupled with strong imitation abilities, created the illusion of intelligence. Those words at the press conference were probably just a lucky coincidence."

Commander Li breathed a sigh of relief. To match the performance, he grabbed an apple from the table, took a big bite, and revealed a simple and honest expression that said, "I'm just a good-for-nothing."

However, just as Professor Wang was packing his things to leave, he suddenly stopped.

The old master turned around, his gaze passing over the coal briquette and landing meaningfully on Li Tuantuan, his expression becoming more solemn than ever before.

"Director Chen, although this crow was a false alarm, there are some things I must remind you of."

Professor Wang lowered his voice, his tone revealing a hint of undisguised worry: "The data from the Qinling monitoring station recently has been extremely abnormal. Not only has the plant growth rate tripled, but the concentration of negative oxygen ions in the air has also reached more than ten times the normal value. This can no longer be explained by global warming."

Li Tuantuan's chewing motion on the apple suddenly stopped.

"Moreover..." Professor Wang glanced at Li Tuantuan, "In the past month, there has been a surge in attacks by wild animals deep in the Qinling Mountains. The strength, speed, and even intelligence of those animals are evolving at an unscientific rate. This panda... may just be the beginning."

Upon hearing this, Li Tuantuan felt a sudden stirring in her stomach—a hunger that had been present since her rebirth and was difficult to satisfy.

No wonder.

No wonder lately, even after eating a full meal, I always have this deep-seated craving for some kind of higher-energy food. So it's not just him who has a system; the entire world's "version" is being updated?

"Spiritual energy is reviving..."

These four words flashed through Li Tuantuan's mind.

Professor Wang and his assistant left in a hurry, their departing figures appearing somewhat desolate. Perhaps his visit wasn't really about catching birds, but rather about confirming some unsettling suspicion.

The meeting room fell silent again.

Director Chen and Lin Wan exchanged glances, clearly stunned by the professor's words before he left.

Just then, the long-lost mechanical voice in Li Tuantuan's mind suddenly became impassioned, like some kind of war mobilization order:

[Ding! The world's spiritual energy concentration has exceeded the critical value.]

[Version update complete. Current world status: Aura Revival (Early Stage).]

Main quest released: Form the "Beast Special Police Team".

[Mission Description: Chaos is approaching, and demons are rising. As a national treasure with an official status, the host has a responsibility to maintain order in the jurisdiction. Please recruit at least five intelligent animal team members to form a special law enforcement force to suppress the disturbances in the Qinling Mountains!]

[Quest Reward: Basic Spirit Channeling (Team-wide version)]

[Current progress: Team member 1/5 (coal briquette).]

Looking at the semi-transparent panel that appeared in front of her, Li Tuantuan subconsciously squeezed the half apple into a pulp.

The Beast Special Police Team?

Do they still need to suppress the disturbances in the Qinling Mountains?

This isn't making him a policeman, it's making him a mountain king! But… looking at the words "Spiritual Energy Guidance Technique," Li Tuantuan swallowed hard. This is the entry ticket to immortality cultivation! Could he cultivate into a "Celestial Bear," the kind that can smash a mountain with a single slap?

"Big brother?"

Once the outsiders left, Coal Ball immediately reverted to his smug grin, sidling up to them as if seeking praise. "How was my acting just now? Especially that line, 'Gangzi, pour Dad a glass of water,' wasn't it incredibly lifelike? Can I get a couple of pieces of meat in return?"

Li Tuantuan snapped out of her daze, looked at the black bird that had just made a great contribution, and without hesitation, pushed the largest piece of beef on the plate over to it.

He squinted and looked out the window at the distant, undulating Qinling Mountains.

The rain is coming and the wind is all over the building.

Since the world is changing, if we want to hold onto this little patch of land, this comfortable job, and the endless milk, just being cute won't work anymore.

We need to get the team up.

"Are you full?" Li Tuantuan asked in her mind.

Coal Ball was taken aback: "Huh? Eight-tenths full."

Li Tuantuan grinned, revealing a set of gleaming white fangs, a smile tinged with a thuggish air: "Now that you've eaten, it's time to get to work. Our SWAT team needs to recruit new members."