Who would study psychology if they didn't have some kind of problem?

Chapter 442 Sense of Mission

The proper nouns used here also need to be explained to the visitors.

Nan Zhuren first explained the "role confusion" to the visitor.

"The so-called 'role', in a formal sense, is 'the behavior pattern that society expects of a person in a certain position'."

"Of course, the role is not just about societal expectations, but also includes self-expectations."

Seeing the serious expression on the visitor's face, Nan Zhuren knew that the other person had entered a state of learning.

"For example, a 34-year-old man with a family may have multiple identities such as father, husband, son, and employee. Each identity has its own behavioral patterns."

"Individuals who fail to gain role identification during adolescence may experience role confusion, applying the behavior of one role to situations involving another role."

Nan Zhuren looked into the visitor's eyes: "He may act willfully and indecisive as a son at home, even more immature than his own children; but in front of his parents, he may act rigidly and unapproachably as an employee or even a leader in the workplace."

"The reason for this is that individuals fail to grow during adolescence, do not know the answer to the question 'Who am I?', fail to define the boundaries of various roles, and ultimately exhibit wrong behavior in the wrong situations."

"If this situation worsens, it may evolve into a role conflict, to the point that individuals must abandon one of their identities in order to maintain a normal life."

This is an explanation of "character confusion".

As for the feeling of being "confused," there's no need to explain it.

Lin Xi now understands this deeply.

Nan Zhuren appears to be explaining a psychological term, but in reality, he is explaining in detail the problems Lin Xi is experiencing.

However, Nan Zhuren did not directly point at the visitor's nose and say, "You have a problem, your problem is..." or something like that.

Instead, relatively milder wording was used.

One purpose of this choice is to reduce the aggressiveness in one's words.

It's not that I'm worried about visitors developing any defensiveness or avoidance as a result.

Rather, it is because the near-aggressive confrontation inevitably stirs up emotions.

At this moment, Nan Zhuren hopes that the visitor can think as much as possible, which requires a relatively peaceful mindset.

Nan Zhuren's second objective was to reduce his subjective evaluation through this objective wording.

It's not "I judge that you have a problem," but rather "Previous scholars, through rigorous research, believe that your current situation is problematic."

For visitors with a background like Lin Xi, this wording makes them more receptive.

Obstructed personality development during adolescence has far more impacts on subsequent life development than just this.

"Because personality development is hindered during adolescence, it will inevitably affect subsequent personality development, and may even lead to stagnation of personality development."

"For example, if core conflicts in early adulthood cannot be overcome, individuals will find it difficult to develop healthy intimate relationships."

"[Role confusion] Individuals may also find it difficult to identify with a group, which can lead to [lack of belonging] or [difficulty in social adaptation]."

"At the same time, due to various difficulties, the problem of abnormal emotional fluctuations naturally becomes a source of trouble, and even other abnormal feelings..." Nan Zhuren thought for a moment and decided to temporarily swallow words like "anxiety" and "depression," "They may all appear."

Faced with Nan Zhuren's explanation of the science, Lin Xi remained silent.

all hit.

These are all problems that she herself does have.

The consultant in front of me arranged them in a list-like manner.

There's no escaping it.

But I don't know why, maybe it's because I left home and my mother;
It could also be because he had been tormented by these issues that he had been avoiding for so long that he could no longer bear it.
Or perhaps the environment and the conversation just now gave Lin Xi a feeling she had never experienced before.

Her seat was diagonally opposite Nan Zhuren.

However, she unconsciously adjusted her body, adopting a "leaning back on the sofa" posture, so that she and Nan Zhuren were facing each other.

It's also like facing your own problems head-on.

“Teacher Nan, I do have these problems… I really do. Sometimes, I can sense them, but I don’t dare to think about them in detail…”

The visitor swallowed hard: "What should I do?"

The problem is not meant to torment people.

Instead, it encourages people to overcome challenges and learn.

This way, we can not only solve the problem but also cope with similar situations in the future.

Nan Zhuren glanced at the wall clock; it was almost time.

Today's process has just reached a point where it's almost over.

Nan Zhuren smiled gently: "That's about enough time for today. If there's an opportunity in the future, we can discuss and formulate the specific operating procedures in more detail."

"Here, I can teach you two relatively universal methods—not specific operational techniques, because I believe that even without other people's advice, you actually know in your heart what you should do, you just can't make up your mind."

The visitor swallowed hard, nodded, and indicated that Nan Zhuren was right.

Not to mention that she has never been able to make a decision, she might even start to hesitate again as soon as she leaves this consultation room, or even return to her old state.

"You can think of this as homework—first, I need you to create a [role list]."

The visitor blinked: "A list of characters?"

Nan Zhuren nodded: "Take a piece of paper and list your current [role], as well as the [role responsibilities] corresponding to each [role]."

"My requirement is—after you list these [role responsibilities], you need to show this paper to someone else. You can say you're preparing a lesson, or that you're working on a project, in short—"

"You need to have others evaluate, or even modify, your [role responsibilities]."

Nan Zhuren thought for a moment: "Limit it to five people. After at least five people have evaluated your [role responsibilities], then organize them. I believe you will have new insights by then."

The visitor took a deep breath, feeling a bit challenged.

But he nodded.

"As for the second assignment—I hope you will think about a concept repeatedly."

Nan Zhurendao.

Next, he will challenge a client's core cognitive conflict.

“You said before that you would feel ‘unfilial’ because you wanted to change.”

The visitor nodded.

Nan Zhuren clenched his fist in front of his chest, then slowly extended a finger: "You have discovered the personality development problem of [adolescence] that we just discussed, but—this problem is not unique to you."

"It also exists in your mother."

The visitor was taken aback.

It was as if a thunderbolt had exploded in his ears; these words were far more resounding than when Nan Zhuren had just exposed the problem.

"So, by changing yourself, you are not only 'helping yourself,' but also 'helping your mother.'"

Nan Zhuren curled the corners of her lips: "Compared to how you indulge your mother now, this approach is more difficult, but also—more 'filial'."

Does it make you feel a stronger sense of mission as a son?

The visitor's eyes widened, and his pupils trembled violently from the shock of his thoughts.

(End of this chapter)