Who would study psychology if they didn't have some kind of problem?

Chapter 443 This world is diverse; the only standard is one's own feelings.
The consultation is almost over.

Nan Zhuren closed the form containing a simple record of the visitor's information and was about to say goodbye with closing remarks.

But then the visitor hurriedly said, "Teacher, I have two more questions, may I ask them?"

Nan Zhuren glanced at the wall clock.

Exactly forty minutes had elapsed since the consultation began.

It wouldn't be a big deal to postpone it a little.

The premise is that the other party's problem is truly a "minor issue".

“Of course,” Nan Zhuren said, then adopted a focused expression.

The visitor pursed his lips and said cautiously, "Professor Nan, according to that 'Theory of Personality Development' you just mentioned..."

Are there many people like me who deviate from the 'normal' situation?

A very prominent avoidant mindset... no, it should be said that most visitors have this mindset, but avoidant visitors are particularly concerned about it.

Nan Zhuren organized his thoughts: "Strictly speaking, it's not a kind of 'normalization.' Rather, it's an academic and idealistic 'standardization.'"

Nan Zhuren did not give a direct answer, but the effect of calming her emotions was much better than simply comforting her.

He explained, "This stage of personality development... is like the various medical and nutritional standards in a hospital."

Because of the mystique surrounding psychology, and issues stemming from traditional cultural backgrounds, visitors are prone to overthinking.

In such cases, using familiar analogies can help visitors better accept their situation.

This is why Nan Zhuren often uses medical examples in her consultations.

Nan Zhuren said, "There are all sorts of standards, such as—what is the best dietary structure for children of a certain age, how much protein they must consume in a day, but not more, otherwise strange problems such as inflammation and fever will occur..."

Nan Zhuren looked at the visitor.

The other person returned to a proper sitting position, with their hands placed on their knees.

But her fingers involuntarily tightened, and her lips pursed slightly.

They seemed tense, as if setting up a defense, as if awaiting a verdict.

Nan Zhuren chuckled inwardly and pulled the corners of his mouth up even further.

"but--"

Nan Zhuren's voice didn't rush straight up as Lin Xi had expected; instead, it curved in front of her and enveloped her.

"But some people are naturally prone to getting inflamed, some have low blood sugar, and some get motion sickness. Will this disrupt their lives? Or—are there people who have no problems at all?"

"We live in a complex world; and the people living in it are also very diverse."

“These psychological theories and standards emerged after humans appeared and society was formed; they are essentially summaries of a ‘phenomenon’ or ‘law’,” Nan Zhuren said with a smile. “In this case, if we demand that a person grow according to a certain ‘theory’ or ‘standard,’ wouldn’t that be putting the cart before the horse?”

Lin Xi was taken aback.

Knowledge is important, but knowing how to apply knowledge correctly is far more important than simply learning it.

"Take the 'Eight Stages of Personality Development' theory we just mentioned as an example. It is not a harsh standard that suggests everyone must grow according to its eight stages to be considered 'normal'."

"Its significance lies in the fact that when an individual experiences unbearable pain at some point in the future due to certain unexpected growth events, they can more easily understand their problems through reference and comparison, and thus have a direction to solve the problems."

In formal theoretical applications, this theory certainly has a wider range of uses.

However, in psychological counseling, Nan Zhuren was absolutely sincere towards this client.

The role of the "Eight Stages of Personality Development Theory" is precisely this: "Just like I told you at the beginning. Whether it's 'more' or 'less', 'normal' or 'abnormal,' even if your life deviates greatly from any standards or theories, as long as we ourselves feel there's no problem, then it doesn't matter."

Nan Zhuren spread his palms up and pointed at the visitor: "The most important thing is our own feelings."

The words fell.

Lin Xi's tension instantly dissipated.

Nan Zhuren smiled as he looked at the visitor whose emotions were becoming increasingly chaotic and complicated.

While imbuing his voice with the ability to soothe emotions, he also pushed the process forward:
"You just said you had two small questions, what's the other one?"

Lin Xi took a deep breath: "Teacher Nan, these problems I have... are very stubborn. To be honest, although I've heard a lot today, I'm not sure if I'll be able to solve them after I get out..."

"But after talking to you today, I do feel much better."

The visitor looked expectant: "So, even if we don't actually solve this problem in the future, but just want to come and talk to someone every time... can we still come to you?"

[Restore your sitting posture to upright, even leaning slightly backward.]

Cross your hands and place them over your lower abdomen.

[Lips tightly pressed together.]

But... my fingertips and knees, my extremities, are trembling slightly.

Nan Zhuren silently analyzed the situation in his mind.

Is this a case of transference?

——It’s true.

However, only a portion of them.

In Nan Zhuren's eyes, what he saw more was a "catastrophic expectation" and a kind of "anxious" thirst for trust.

Although the visitor's avoidant attachment style does not appear to be the main problem at present.

But it does indeed affect visitors in many ways.

This kind of multi-dimensional intersection requires extra care when designing intervention plans.

However, the current situation also means that the other party's "excessive independence" is beginning to crumble, and they are beginning to further build a consulting relationship.

This is good news, given that the consultation process is currently underway.

Moreover, the other party's request was reasonable.

Nan Zhuren thought for a moment and replied, "Of course, the establishment of phased goals in consultation should be determined together with the client after communication."

"--If we have any further consultations later."

……

"Brother Huang, do you think this visitor will be able to come again?"

Outside the door, Mo Kai nervously inquired of his consulting assistant, surnamed Huang, beside him.

Upon hearing Mo Kai's question, the consulting assistant surnamed Huang seemed to still feel lingering fear.

He looked around to make sure no ears were pointing in his direction.

Then, with a slight sigh of relief, he began to analyze the situation for Mo Kai in a senior's tone.

(End of this chapter)