Who would study psychology if they didn't have some kind of problem?

Chapter 440 Unable to get close, yet unable to complain.

When describing things, transform the narrative style of things closely related to yourself, and describe them using objective, formal, and story-like language.

Its greatest benefit is reducing one's emotional involvement.

What is the purpose of "emotional involvement"?
On the one hand, it's about avoiding revealing one's true feelings.

On the other hand, they may also hope that others can evaluate their narrative.

If possible—it's best to have the same evaluation as what you feel deep down.

To say what one couldn't say aloud, thus gaining a "mouth substitute".

This similar narrative style is common in Lin Xi's narratives.

Nan Zhuren said, "It seems you're just providing a perspective for me to see another person. So my question is—you're not actually an observer; you're a participant in the story you're telling."

"So, in this story, where is the real 'you'?"

Nan Zhuren looked into the visitor's eyes: "Or rather, 'where are your feelings'?"

The visitor blinked and remained silent for a moment, seemingly processing Nan Zhuren's words.

After a while, she smiled and asked, "How do you feel?"

She sat upright with proper posture. Although she didn't wear much makeup or jewelry, her smile was still quite dignified.

This is not the kind of reaction Nan Zhuren wants.

Instead of following the visitor's lead, he took a different approach and continued to attempt a confrontation.

“You said today that you were ‘unable to bear the pain,’ which is why you came to seek psychological counseling. This shows that you have a clear understanding of your feelings.”

"In your narrative from the beginning of your consultation until now, your mother has been the main character."

"It seems that you subconsciously believe that your mother is the reason you came for counseling today."

"Your mother is the one who makes you 'unbearably uncomfortable'—" Nan Zhuren used a rather strong word, "—the culprit?"

Nan Zhuren is not a "mouth double"; he is also presenting an objective narrative.

This involves summarizing and articulating the information behind the other person's unconscious actions.

This is not just a confrontation between Nan Zhuren and the visitor, but also a confrontation between the visitor and their own subconscious.

Hearing Nan Zhuren's words.

The visitor maintained a proper sitting posture.

But without realizing it, I leaned forward a little.

She finally raised her hands, which had been crossed over her abdomen, and gently swayed them, as if to explain something, or perhaps to declare something:
"That's not quite right, Professor Nan."

“My mother has had a very tough time. She really raised me all by herself, and working was very difficult for her. Now she's all alone, and only I can be there for her…”

Nan Zhuren waited quietly for the visitor to finish speaking.

Afterwards, looking into the visitor's eyes, I quietly uttered three words: "I think."

"……what?"

The visitors seemed unable to comprehend these three unexpected words.

Nan Zhuren said, "If possible, I hope you can start your next sentence with the words 'I think'."

The visitor blinked.

……

As mentioned before, Nan Zhuren felt that Lin Xi, the visitor, also had similar avoidant characteristics to Nan Zhihao.

However, their expressions were clearly different. Lin Xi also restrained her emotions and concealed some deeper issues, only showing some superficial aspects to Nan Zhuren for the time being.

Therefore, Nan Zhuren also needs to cite a large number of "confrontations".

However, Lin Xi's "avoidance" is clearly mainly manifested in her narratives and events related to her mother.

Moreover, for Lin Xi, her avoidant traits are not the main problem.

Her personality traits are clearly very different from Nan Zhihao's.

Therefore, even if Nan Zhuren decides to use the principles of psychoanalysis to intervene, he can be slightly more humanistic.

Especially after listening to Lin Xi's description of her life and the personality traits she exhibited regarding social relationships.

Nan Zhuren first tried to offer some support: "In psychological counseling, we pay close attention to what's happening around the client—that is, you. Because the formation of a person's characteristics is inevitably inseparable from life."

"Nothing that happens in life is a small matter."

Nan Zhuren then changed the subject: "However, what we are more concerned about is the visitor's feelings, your feelings."

By substituting personal pronouns, Nan Zhuren gradually closed the distance between them.

"Especially when we are already sitting in the consultation room, it shows that our own feelings have reached an extreme in some way."

Therefore, right now, my focus as a counselor is only one thing—

Nan Zhuren looked into Lin Xi's eyes: "That's your 'feeling'."

Lin Xi took a deep breath, looked directly into Nan Zhuren's eyes, and her hands, which were clasped together on her lower abdomen, involuntarily clasped together.

“So, if possible,” Nan Zhuren said in a gentle, almost pleading, yet firm tone, “would you like to begin your narrative with ‘I think,’?”

The visitor and the counselor looked at each other for two seconds.

Take a deep breath.

Then, his body straightened up.

Finally, it relaxed and bent down a little.

"Actually... I think some of my thoughts are wrong."

That's why she doesn't say it herself, avoids it, and uses written language to narrate it, reducing her emotional involvement.

She hoped that Nan Zhuren would say certain things on her behalf.

But Nan Zhuren clearly didn't want that: "What are your 'thoughts'?"

The visitor pursed his lips: "I...maybe, um, I do...resent my mother a little."

……

Under Nan Zhuren's gaze, the visitor slowly began to speak, revealing more details of his life that he had not mentioned before, as well as the emotions hidden beneath his surface.

“I’m already in my thirties. But I still live with my mother, I don’t have any friends, and I don’t have a boyfriend, because I hardly have any time for myself.”

“My mom prepares my breakfast and dinner, but I can decide what to eat for lunch because I’m at school. Even so, she always asks me what I ate in the evening. If I didn’t eat anything particularly good, she’ll nag me for a long time.”

"And if I talk to her about food, especially about the dishes she cooks, saying they're not good or I don't want to eat them, she..."

At this point, the visitor swallowed hard, his neck tightening abruptly.

"She... would then show a very sad and distressed expression."

The visitor clutched his chest: "And then, I also feel very uncomfortable."

(End of this chapter)