Super Hero Monk: Hormones Journey to the West

Chapter 307 The Incompetent Three Demons

In military terms, a wingman is an auxiliary aircraft that assists the main attack aircraft in completing an attack mission. In APU (Aircraft Processing Unit), it refers to a friend that assists the gunner in completing a combo or delivering a critical hit.

For example, a gunner's target might be a female classmate's best friend, and this female classmate might casually reveal to her:

"You know what? Back in high school, the guys who used to sneak into the bathroom to smoke together gave him a nickname: Lee Geun-suk... Hahahaha."

This is what makes an excellent wingman.

"Wukong, stop!"

The golden cudgel slammed down an inch in front of his forehead, a fierce wind raged, and his black hair scattered and danced wildly.

The 1.9-meter-tall jade-like figure rushed into the tent, grabbing the wrist of the 1.5-meter-tall skinny monkey in time, and shielding the beautiful woman who was about to perish.

"That bitch is so stubborn, she just won't say how to use that fan, what's the point of keeping her around?" the monkey said viciously.

Tang Xuanci frowned and said:

"Tsk, I told you to speak kindly to her, not to torture her to extract a confession."

"Just now, someone in the Banana Cave said that Lady Iron Fan had long since severed ties with the Bull Demon King and had not participated in the anti-demon cause. Her child was even implicated by the Bull Demon King and was secretly kidnapped by the Buddhist sect."

"She attacked you because she was angry and upset, which proves that what those maids said was true."

"Look at you, bullying a helpless mother like this, aren't you afraid of being ridiculed by monkeys if word gets out?"

Fuck! You made me, Old Sun, your wingman, pretending to be the good guy, and you still insult me?

The monkey immediately became displeased and wanted to hurl insults at them.

Tang Xuanci noticed the change in its expression and immediately tried to appease it with winks and gestures. Then he said some righteous words and made it remove the headband and leave.

After kicking the monkey out, Tang Xuanci finally took a closer look at Lady Iron Fan's condition.

She was disheveled, her expression was pitiful, blood trickled from the corner of her mouth, her eyes were dim, her pockets were soaked with cold sweat, and her plump body was covered in bruises. She looked as miserable as could be.

"Are you alright? That wicked monkey was so vicious. Let me take you to get your wounds treated first."

Tang Xuanci fetched a brocade robe, gently wrapped it around her, picked her up in his arms, and carried her out.

Lady Iron Fan had been lost in thought, but in his arms, warmed by the heat of his boiling blood and intoxicated by his intoxicating hormones, she gradually came back to her senses.

Ever since the Bull Demon King was seduced by the Jade-Faced Fox, she had been living alone in her empty room. Looking up at the masculine and handsome face so close to her, she felt somewhat dazed.

She only woke up with a start when she found herself being carried into the commander's tent and placed on a soft couch covered with animal skins, remembering everything that had happened before.

And then there's the muscular, devilish monk who almost kicked his own child to death!
"You...you rogue monk, what...are you planning to do?"

Tang Xuanci looked at her, his mind racing through three types of flirting personas: "righteous domineering CEO," "both righteous and wicked domineering CEO," and "evil domineering CEO," before choosing the middle one that best suited his current situation.

Then, with a crooked smile, he opened the Sumeru space filled with pills and took out several bottles and jars.

"Don't worry, madam. Although I am somewhat interested in you, I certainly won't force you."

Ah this?
Hearing these blatant and frank words, and seeing that the person stuffed into the gap under the toilet stall door didn't show any lewdness, Iron Fan Fairy suddenly felt something was off.

I felt inexplicably more at ease.

"Here, eat these two pills first."

Tang Xuanci sat down beside her, and with her jade-like hand, she held the pill to her lips.

"You...stop it, uh~"

Just as Lady Iron Fan opened her mouth to scold him, he directly fed her the pill and forced her to swallow it by covering her mouth.

The two top-grade pills instantly dissolved in her stomach; one nourished her primordial spirit, and the other healed her internal injuries, making her feel a little better.

Tang Xuanci casually wiped the blood from the corner of her mouth, smoothed the sticky strands of hair on her mature and beautiful face, picked up the external application of the medicinal medicine, and said:

"Here, let me apply the medicine for you."

"Get out of here! Stop pretending! I will never teach you the secrets of the Banana Leaf Fan. If you hadn't hurt my child, he wouldn't have been abducted by Guanyin Bodhisattva!"

"Damn it, you're blaming me for this?"

Tang Xuanci said:

"That's a martial arts competition, not child's play. It's about determining who's better and who's worse, and it's also about life and death."

"Besides, you were instructed by the Taoist sect and even colluded with the judges to try and kill me. Don't think I don't know that!"

"Even if I were to kick that little bastard to death, he would deserve it!"

Lady Iron Fan was furious upon hearing this, but she was powerless to refute it.

When Tang Xuanci saw that she was mute, he tore off his brocade robe and applied the medicinal medicine to the places where she had been beaten by the monkey.

Lady Iron Fan was filled with shame and indignation, and cursed:
"Get out of my way, you rude monk! How dare you be so disrespectful?!"

Despite her cursing, under the man's domineering yet gentle care, her long-suppressed resentment stirred, and she couldn't help but compare the unfaithful minotaur to the handsome man before her.

I just feel:
In terms of appearance, it's like a nag trying to outdo a qilin;
In terms of talent, it's like a firefly vying with the bright moon;
Seeing that Iron Fan Fairy was saying no but not resisting, Tang Xuanci continued applying the ointment while softening his tone:
"To be honest, Madam is beautiful, mature, and very feminine, which is exactly my type. When we first met on Mount Taihua, I originally wanted to invite Madam to dinner, but Wukong said that you were already the wife of the Bull Demon King, so I gave up the idea."

"Sigh, that Bull Demon King is really heartless. He doesn't even care about his wife and children for a mere fox spirit."

"If it were me, I would only feel sorry for the lady."

Ah this?

The beautiful woman's resentful heart stirred again. How she longed for a man who would not only cherish her and her child but also be incredibly handsome.

Their eyes met, and their gazes froze.

One second, two seconds... eight seconds.

Just as the ten-second rule was about to be fulfilled, Iron Fan Fairy, being no naive young girl, suddenly paused, regained her senses, and angrily said:

"Don't try to fool me with these sweet words. I will never reveal the secret of the precious fan. Kill me or do whatever you want!"

Tang Xuanci snorted coldly and said disdainfully:
"Don't take your broken fan too seriously. I can still fight without it. Look at those anti-demon organizations, with so many monsters surrounding us, how can they do anything to us?"
"When I attacked Cuiyun Mountain before, I was indeed only after the Banana Leaf Fan."

“But things are different now. Since you’re not involved with the Bull Demon King, why don’t you temporarily abandon Cuiyun Mountain and come with me? In the future… you can submit to me.”

As she spoke, she reached out her delicate hand and lifted her chin, which was full yet not excessive, and rounded without any sharp edges:

“In that case, Red Boy will be my child, and I will bring him back. Moreover, I can also get revenge on Old Bull, hehehe.”

Ah this?

The beautiful woman's heart fluttered again, but her face showed shame and indignation. She slapped his hand away and spat out:
"Pah! You... shameless!"

Tang Xuanci laughed heartily, then pinned her down on the couch, lowering his head like a tiger sniffing a rose, and said:
"So what? If the green hills won't come to me, then I'll go to them!"

Ah this! ?
Iron Fan Fairy silently recited the golden phrase, her beautiful eyes sparkling. The man she reflected did not appear lewd at all, but instead exuded three parts unruliness, three parts arrogance, and four parts alluring danger.

As if guided by some strange force, she didn't struggle violently, but instead exhaled a soft, fragrant breath and uttered a sentence:
"My child is far away in the South China Sea, and is in the hands of Guanyin Bodhisattva. How can you possibly save him?"

Tang Xuanci said:

"Guanyin is nothing! After I deal with this group of anti-demons, I'll go to the South China Sea to deal with her next!"

"I swear, if I can't save our child, I will never touch your banana leaf fan again."

"Is this okay?"

Our child?
Iron Fan Fairy's brain short-circuited for a moment.

Before she could even figure out the difference between not touching the fan and not touching people, the tiger's mouth hanging above her suddenly fell down like it was biting an antelope.

"Thump~"

Zhu Wuneng yanked off his headphones, threw them on his laptop, and muttered angrily:
"A sin!"

The monkey, a cigarette dangling from its lips, stared intently at the fluctuating light on the surveillance screen, muttering to itself:

"This rogue monk swore that he wouldn't use the Banana Leaf Fan if he didn't save Red Boy. When will he ever be able to use it?"

Pig Wuneng said:

"What's this talk about persuading him? I already told you, this blind monk just wants your dumplings and tricked you into being his wingman, making you the bad guy. Now he's only concerned with his own pleasure, he doesn't care about the secrets of the fan anymore."

"Oh?" The monkey became even more suspicious upon hearing this.

Once the energy from the can of spinach was depleted, Lady Iron Fan fell into a deep, baby-like sleep. It immediately rushed over, used its magic to pull Tang Xuanci out of the tent, and questioned him with a displeased expression.

Tang Xuanci chuckled and said:

"Tsk, what do you know?"
"The most effective persuasion often only requires the most basic methods."

"Everyone loves me. Even if I can't save Red Boy, if we really encounter trouble and need to solve it with a fan, wouldn't she lend a hand?"

"Give me a few more days, and I won't need any tricks anymore. With her and the Banana Leaf Fan, I can get through the Flaming Mountain however I want, right?"

The monkey, upon hearing this, was skeptical but not convinced.

Meanwhile, the two minotaurs and the blond-haired man from the Thunderstrike Mountains heard that the encirclement army had been completely outmaneuvered, suffering heavy losses and casualties, yet they hadn't even managed to harm a single member of the Independent Regiment. They had also lost Emerald Cloud Mountain, and even the Taiyin Fan and Madam Minotaur had fallen into enemy hands.
They were all instantly enraged and flew into a rage.

Especially the Bull Demon King, who truly suffered a double loss: losing both his wife and his army!
However, with the deliberate cooperation of the Heavenly Army, they dared not divert forces from the main battlefield to personally return and suppress the enemy.

Like that incompetent husband, who could only watch the bald thief messing around in his own backyard.

Although the first encirclement and suppression campaign was still ongoing, it could already be declared a failure.

The morale of the hundreds of thousands of demon soldiers plummeted. The demon kings of various mountains also knew very well that although they seemed to have a large number of people, they could not surround the enemy, and they were unwilling to fight as cannon fodder. They simply could not deal with the enemy.

However, the Independent Regiment showed no signs of decline.

Under the banner of righteous salvation and with the righteous strategy of surrendering with the backing of the Heavenly Court, the original three thousand men not only did not decrease but increased to more than four thousand.

Moreover, those recruited into the group were all elites, and many more demon cultivators who came to join were developed by Tang Xuanci into a logistics force, secretly carrying out underground activities in various regions.

(End of this chapter)