Super Hero Monk: Hormones Journey to the West

Chapter 262 Persuading the Fox, Persuading the Monkey

The next day.

"Hua'er, your nine tails are so beautiful. Turn around like this and let me see them."

"Oh, I'm so embarrassed."

Hu Qinghua glanced down at him with a disdainful look, but still turned away.

In an instant, the nine tails were fully revealed, drifting like snow-white flames and emitting a unique fragrance like orchids and musk.

Tang Xuanci thoroughly enjoyed the sights and breathed a sigh of delight, exclaiming that the Three Realms were truly amazing, not only granting immortality but also allowing one to collect all twelve zodiac animals.

Unlike their home planet, which only has four major races and two or three countries.

He simultaneously gathered eight top models from Germany, Italy, Japan, England, France, Russia, Portugal, and Spain, all of whom wore tails that cost 9.9 yuan with free shipping on Pinduoduo, but even combined, they couldn't compare to a single hair of Fox Qinghua.

But a home planet is still a home planet.

They can pollute and destroy things themselves, but they will not tolerate outsiders infringing upon them.

Whenever he thinks of a pack of alien dogs breaking through the atmosphere to invade his territory, defecating and urinating in his home, and turning beautiful women into alien shapes... he becomes filled with murderous intent and his energy explodes.

When the Spark Program was launched, a five-star general told him:

"Actually, when I nominated you in the ADC (Alien Defence Council), everyone objected."

"They said that although you have the most developed muscles, you are simple-minded, only have a junior high school education, don't even understand Newton's three laws, and have no conscience, no family, are impulsive, barbaric, and are a criminal who will do all kinds of evil."

"We cannot shoulder this heavy responsibility."

Tang Xuanci cursed "Damn it!" and offered a friendly greeting to the mothers of those impotent officials. Then he heard the Five-Star General continue:

"But I asked them a question."

"Ladies and gentlemen, do you know what the most important thing about the Fireseed Project is?"

"...

"It is a spark, a spark that will not go out on its own!"

"My reason for choosing him is very simple."

"Because I can guarantee that no matter what happens, this kid who gets beaten up if you glance at him at the school gate and dragged onto the train tracks if you steal his computer at the internet cafe will never give up on coming back for revenge."

"Not for civilization, not for humanity, but just to kill all those alien bastards and vent my anger."

"If any of you here can guarantee that if someone else goes to that planet where even light feels incredibly distant, and regardless of danger, comfort, hardship, or temptation, they will not give up on returning, then I wholeheartedly agree."

And so, defying all opposition, he sent Tang Xuanci to the Three Realms.

Even Tang Xuanci, upon hearing this, couldn't help but think to himself, "That old geezer is wicked; he's got a damn good eye for people!"

"General, hold on! I'm sprinting with all my might. As long as you're not wiped out, you'll win without lifting a finger!"

He silently shouted in his heart and sprinted with all his might.

It almost caused Hu Qinghua to crash into the ceiling.

Suddenly, as if sensing something, Hu Qinghua quickly pulled up her robe and put it on, a speed a billion times faster than a well-trained firefighter.

Tang Xuanci looked on in surprise, and immediately saw the monkey pass through the wall and enter. The monkey huffed and puffed at Tang Xuanci, saying:
"That green ox demon is the one in the Tushita Palace. The magic weapon it uses is the broken ring that the old man riding the ox used to ambush me, Sun Wukong, five hundred years ago. It is called the Vajra Bracelet."

"Anyone can see that it must have been the Supreme Old Lamp that instructed it to descend to the mortal realm and cause trouble."

"But after the Heavenly Court investigated, they said that the ox used to be just a mount of the Tushita Palace. It had committed some offense several hundred years ago and had long been expelled from the Daoist community and banished from the Heavenly Palace. Now whatever it does is its own business and has nothing to do with that old man."

"As for the Vajra Bracelet, including the Banana Leaf Fan, Seven Star Sword, Purple Gold Gourd, and Mutton Fat Jade Bottle used by the Gold and Silver Demons, they are all lost items from the Tushita Palace. They have long been registered and will be recovered if they are ever discovered."

"Now, they suspect that the Golden Horn and Silver Horn treasures are in our hands, and they've actually gotten the Domain Palace to issue an order for us to hand them back!"

Tang Xuanci knew that the monkey had been tricked out of his banana leaf fan and had his head blown off by the golden ring last time. In the end, he still failed to kill the Great Rhinoceros King and lost face. He was still resentful about it.

So he flew into a rage, grabbed the monkey, and yelled at it in a voice even louder than the monkey's:

"Fuck him, I'll give him a piece of my mind..."

"What broken sword and broken gourd? Have we ever seen them before?"

"The jade bottle must be the one you smashed, right? Have someone pack up those fragments and send them to that old dog Taishang!"

The monkey disgustedly wiped the spittle off its face, its anger inexplicably subsiding somewhat, but it was still unwilling to give up and said:

"What about that Green Ox Demon? I won't be satisfied until I've reduced it to ashes! In my opinion, we should also apply to go to Chechi Kingdom to subdue the demon, take care of it, reclaim the treasure, and claim credit from the Heavenly Court." Tang Xuanci frowned and said:

"The reason that Green Ox Demon was able to escape last time was entirely due to the fact that he used Laozi's magic weapon to ambush you."

“If we were to go there, you alone could take on 100,000 heavenly soldiers and would surely be able to destroy it.”

"But... those demons are numerous and have already set up arrays and defenses using spiritual veins. We will definitely have to spend a lot of time, immortal power, and even lifespan."

"Furthermore, think about it carefully: we helped deal with the gangs under the old dog Taishang. Who in the Three Realms was the happiest?"

Oh?
The monkey immediately pictured a fat man with fleshy protuberances on his head laughing, and his urge to go to Chechi Kingdom vanished almost entirely.

Seeing this, Tang Xuanci went to the bedside table, retrieved a lighter and cigarettes, lit two, gave one to the dog, and then said earnestly:

"You don't want to help the Buddha, do you?"
"And, I just schooled y'all at last month's—Right now, Who we gotta recruit? Who we need to crush?"

(Also, I just mentioned this at the meeting at the end of last month—whom should we win over at this stage? Whom should we suppress?)

Under Hu Qinghua's bewildered gaze, he continued speaking in the Yin language:

"Besides mortals and animals, the forces in the Three Realms can be broadly divided into five categories, ranked in order of their current strength as follows—"

"Tao, Zhang, Fo, Qing, Zhong."

"Before the nuclear peace plan is launched, our best strategy is to suppress the first three without depleting ourselves, and then try our best to win over the Qingliu faction and win over the neutral faction."

"The reason why the latter two were ranked last is not because they were few in number or weak in strength, but simply because they were not united and were like a pile of loose sand."

"Because the neutral faction is like a weather vane, they like to stay out of things and side with whoever is stronger, so for now we can only try to win them over."

"The Qingliu faction is very straightforward; they will help whoever truly saves all living beings, and they are exactly the kind of people we can try our best to win over."

"Therefore, we should now focus on truly saving all sentient beings and do less of anything unrelated to this, so as to avoid our public image collapsing."

"As long as we can bring those upright immortals and gods of the Heavenly Court behind us, and with the Taoist, Zhang, and Buddhist families fighting amongst themselves, how can we not grow stronger?"

"Once they realize the seriousness of the problem, the nuclear peace plan can be launched!"

Hearing this, the monkey completely calmed down. But smelling the strange, fragrant scent in the air, it glanced at Fox Qinghua with hostility and said in a sinister tone:

"Are we really going to throw away the rest of our golden core just for this fox spirit?"

"At least ask her to bring a few dozen more second or third-grade Golden Pills."

"I, Old Sun, have wasted a lot of my life trying to revive those damn photolithography, vapor deposition, and 3D printing equipment."

Tang Xuanci chuckled and pointed at the monkey:
"The scope is too narrow."

"Do you think your master is just showing mercy to women? The fox clan isn't ruled by her alone. Do you think those demons would be willing to give up all their golden cores to exchange for Golden Horn and Silver Horn? They've already given away almost all of their golden cores."

"She has now been persuaded by her master, and the abundant fox demon resources of Yalong Mountain have become our best labor force. As long as the training is arranged properly, she can replace eight 'Fushikang's'."

"Moreover, it does not require a large-scale gathering of ordinary people, which reduces security costs and enhances the ability to resist risks."

"This is exactly what we urgently need at this stage."

"Just you wait and see, once the 'iPhone' phone I designed for all living beings, both immortals and mortals, is mass-produced, it will surely ignite the entire Three Realms!"

"Every transvestite longs to own a cell phone, and may even sacrifice their lifespan or sell their demon core to obtain it."

"They will flock to Azhou to send us money and boost our power. Even if Golden Cores are scarce at that time, we will definitely be able to exchange them."

After giving the monkey some emotional advice, he immediately got up, walked to the sofa next to him, and embraced the charming woman whose emotions had clearly changed. He switched to a soft, warm voice to comfort her:

"I know that the rhinoceros demon is, after all, Jin'er and Yin'er's biological father. Don't worry, I won't make things difficult for you."

"When I mentioned it earlier, I noticed you seemed uncomfortable, so I used my own words."

"I've already convinced Wukong to leave that guy alone for now."

"However, since it bullied you so much before, I will definitely help you get revenge. I won't kill it, but I will make it pay the price it deserves!"

Hearing this, Hu Qinghua stared at him in a daze, feeling that this man was so warm-hearted, and the taste of love... was so sweet.

She yielded to the man's strength and nestled into his warm embrace, humming in response, before asking:
"What is the language you created called?"

“Yin language. If you want to learn it, I'll teach you another day.”

"it is good."

(End of this chapter)