Super Hero Monk: Hormones Journey to the West

Chapter 204 How to Become a Celestial Immortal?
……

The master and disciple traveled through the night and returned the next morning to the small cave dwelling that Sha Wujing had acquired when he was a corrupt official—"Henghua Mansion".

But when Tang Xuanci went inside, he found only the two rough old men, Sha Zhu and his brother, with a baby less than a month old in the mansion.

Huibao, a tiny baby, was wearing a large white T-shirt and sleeping on the bed with a lactating ewe. Although they were well-fed and clothed, it was still a bit heartbreaking to see.

"Where's Naillong? Wasn't she supposed to be taking good care of her little sister?" Tang Xuanci asked, frowning, as he walked over and picked her up.

Pig-day Heaven complained:

"Uh, you're bringing your sister along too?"
“You eat and drink well in Lishan every day and are intimate with the old woman of Lishan every night, while we are left here to starve.”

"They even threw a small roasted snack in front of her. If she didn't turn into a dragon, she could just swallow it like a snack, and that would be a good thing."

Sha Dingtian sighed and said:
“Master, Ao Ling left without saying a word yesterday and hasn’t come back yet. I guess she’s angry with you and may have gone back to the West Sea.”

You should call her and try to persuade her.

"Although she was just a white horse when she went on her pilgrimage, and she did not openly betray Buddhism, it is reasonable for her to return to the Western Sea now."

"But... there are risks involved if the Buddhist sect questions her."

Tang Xuanci took out his mobile phone and dialed the number, but couldn't get through. He sent several more radio messages, and after a long time, he finally received a reply.

The gist of the message was that she wanted to break up with Tang Xuanci, that scoundrel, and that from now on they would only talk about work, not feelings. She was going back to Xihai now, and would send a telegram if anything came up.

Damn, none of them are my shape anymore?

Tang Xuanci was annoyed for a few seconds, then decided to punish her with passive-aggressive behavior. He stopped replying and released Lady White Bone and the other two Shao Ji. He and his three disciples continued to play music and dance, continuing to celebrate the victory of the Battle of Chang'an.

We played until sunset.

He told Lady White Bone to take the easily sleepy Huibao back to the bedroom to sleep, and then asked his three disciples to play "fifteen-card billiards" around the pool table before they started talking about serious business.

"Heavens above, how exactly does one become a celestial official in the Heavenly Court?"

Out of the blue, he asked that question directly.

Sha Dingtian looked slightly surprised, but before he could speak, he heard Zhu Ritian say:

"Why are you asking this? Now that the pilgrimage to the West is over, do you want to join the Heavenly Court and become a celestial being?"

"Oh!"

Tang Xuanci made a half-step smash, slamming the black ball into the cushion, leaving the white ball bouncing around on the table and causing chaos.

"Businesses cannot prosper without immortals, and demons cannot be stable without immortals."

"Now that we need to accelerate development, we must have a place with abundant resources where we can gain a foothold."

"Why can't I just become a celestial being first?"
"Attack on a celestial being is a serious crime. With this protective talisman and Wukong's fighting power, who would dare to attack us so easily?"

"Moreover, they can use their power to develop their influence in the region without restraint, seize immortal property on a large scale, and then turn against each other when the time is right!"
"Now, I am a proper wandering immortal, Wukong is a released prisoner, and Ritian is only being secretly hunted down by the Jade Emperor. At most, he is still a wanted criminal and should not show his face."

"We have absolutely no need to hide anymore."

"Most of the mountain gods and local deities only have the cultivation level of the Nascent Soul Realm. With our abilities, it shouldn't be too difficult for us to get a higher-ranking official position, right?"

Upon hearing this, the three disciples couldn't help but recall their days as officials in the Heavenly Court.

The monkey immediately said:
"What's so great about being a celestial being? If you ask me, we should just find a way to take over a few of the most resource-rich demon mountains, and kill whoever comes here."

Tang Xuanci said:

"Demons cannot defeat immortals."

"If we were just demons, the Buddhist sect would have a million ways to deal with us once they got rid of the local celestial beings. If they came to check household registrations, fire safety records, and arrest fugitives every day, what would become of us?"

"The best way is for us to become celestial beings ourselves."

Sha Dingtian pondered for a moment and said:

"I think Master's idea is indeed brilliant. Demons cannot defeat immortals. This is truly insightful."

"But becoming a celestial being, especially a high-ranking one, is not easy."

"Currently, the only ways to obtain the Heavenly Decree are through 'merit', 'recommendation', and 'Heavenly Immortal Examination'."

"For demon immortals like the eldest and second senior brothers who have criminal records, hehe, they can only achieve success through 'merit and merit'."

"This path either requires becoming a human official like Wei Zheng of the Tang Dynasty, who is posthumously granted immortality based on his merits; or becoming like Guan Yu, who is widely revered in the human world and whose temples are built to worship him after his death."

"If Master really goes to the Western Paradise to obtain the true scriptures and his virtuous reputation spreads far and wide in the human world, then Senior Brother and the original Wu Neng and Wu Jing, as disciples, might actually be able to obtain the fruition."

“But now, it’s probably very difficult.” Tang Xuanci frowned and said, “What about the other two?”

Sandtop Heaven Road:

The so-called "recommendation" either refers to a recommendation from a high-ranking Celestial Emperor or a recruitment by the Heavenly Court after deliberation.

"When the eldest brother went to heaven to serve as the Keeper of the Heavenly Horses, that was the former; when he was later named the Great Sage Equal to Heaven, that was the latter."

"The number of recommended candidates is very limited, and since the havoc in the Heavenly Palace, the Heavenly Court has never offered amnesty to demons."

Tang Xuanci, having heard the literal meaning of "recommendation," had already given up much hope, and said again:
"What about the Heavenly Immortal Examination? Didn't you already pass the Heavenly Immortal Examination? There shouldn't be any restrictions, right?"

Sandtop Heaven Road:

"The Celestial Immortal Examination truly proclaims fairness, impartiality, and transparency. It is overseen by the Dou Department and supervised by the Lei Department. All beings in the Three Realms who possess both virtue and cultivation are eligible to participate in the selection."

"However, even so, the water inside is still very deep."

"Moreover, the Celestial Fairy Examination also has a strict background check."

"When was the examinee born? Who did he learn from? What school did he enter? His entire life trajectory must be clear and transparent."

"Take the eldest brother for example. Just because he was born a saint, it is impossible to prove how he cultivated to become an immortal. There are too many gaps and doubts in his background, so even if he did not cause trouble in the Heavenly Palace, he would definitely not pass the review."

Pig-Head chuckled and said:

"A born saint? If no one had taught this monkey, it could have learned the seventy-two transformations and comprehended the Great Celestial Technique on its own."

"Back then, it was the Taiqing lineage that protected it as the Keeper of the Heavenly Horses, so its master must have been Laozi. That old man originally wanted to use it, but who knew that this monkey was too troublesome, so he directly turned his back on it."

The monkey cursed:

"Bullshit! That old man riding an ox is not worthy to be my master. I, Old Sun, am a born sage. What nonsense about the Celestial Immortal Technique? My achievements are all self-taught."

As he spoke, he swung his cue stick and chased after him around the table.

Tang Xuanci ignored them, pondered Sha Dingtian's words, and said:
"My background should be very clean."

"My father's name is Chen Guangrui, my mother's name is Yin Wenjiao. I grew up in Jinguang Temple and studied under Faming. Later, I became a Buddhist monk, which is well known to everyone."

"Although his public image has basically collapsed, he has not broken any laws or regulations."

"This should pass the review, right?"

Sha Dingtian pondered for a moment and said:

"Well... we can only confirm this by signing up and trying it out."

"Those who apply to become celestial immortals are divided into three categories: the first is the regional examination, the second is the continental examination, and the third is the direct transfer by the chosen one."

"The Heavenly Selection is a process that selects the most outstanding geniuses from among the thirty-nine sects recognized by the Heavenly Court. The Pure Land Sect would probably not allow Master to participate."

"The highest rank one can directly obtain through the regional examination is the eighth grade, which is equivalent to the celestial assistant or celestial lieutenant of the local earth god temple."

"The only way for Master to achieve his goal and gain sole control of a region is to participate in the continental examinations, strive for a high ranking in the 'martial arts test' and 'literary theory test,' and then pass the final 'interview.'"

"Come to think of it, this year seems to be the once-in-a-decade continental exam selection."

Tang Xuanci asked, "What is the highest rank one can achieve in the provincial examinations?"

Sha Dingtian said, "If there are any vacancies, the highest rank is the seventh grade, which is equivalent to a mid-grade mountain god or land god. That's half a grade higher than the land god in Caoxian County."

Tang Xuanci knew that although the land deity sounded lowly and would probably have to be subservient to monkeys, this only applied to monkeys, which were lawless and mentally ill.

Even if ordinary human-demon beings have high cultivation levels, they still have to call the local deity "Grandpa".

In places like Caoxian, the local earth god governs the surrounding mountains and rivers (only large mountains and rivers have their own mountain gods and river gods), villages, and small towns. Although metaphysical resources are somewhat lacking, scientific resources are abundant.

Imagine if he himself were the local lord, would Qiangsheng Group need to hide its mining and factory construction? Its productivity would be hundreds of millions of times faster than it is now.

Moreover, Tibet was merely the best option at the time; there were many places with more uranium and oil resources than Tibet.

Beaker had mentioned before that, based on geological speculation, the uranium resources there were likely hundreds of millions of times richer than those in Tibet.

Nailong also said that there is a swastika-shaped area in the middle of Xiniuhezhou, where the land that oozes oil is billions of times more than that of Tibet.

Tang Xuanci felt he could choose the best place to develop his career, so he immediately made the decision:

"Okay, then let's go with the continental exam! Dingtian, find out right away when we can register this year?"

Sha Dingtian opened his mouth, but hesitated, deciding to find out the current regulations first.

(End of this chapter)