Super Hero Monk: Hormones Journey to the West

Chapter 143 You are ugly, so you should be my teacher
"You've been Marshal Tianpeng for so long, how come you don't know anything? If we kill Xiong Ba, Guanyin will definitely be suspicious of us. If we mess with her Zen temple again, she'll probably ask a black man to fuck my girl."

Tang Xuanci looked at Zhu Ganglie unhappily.

I thought this guy had been in Heaven for thousands of years. Even if he was not good at scheming, he must have some understanding of the power and resource distribution of the three realms.

But unexpectedly, it only knows how to eat, drink and have fun. If you ask it what the characteristics of female fairies of different races are, it can answer fluently; but when it comes to any truly valuable information, it knows nothing.

"Hey, I'm a military commander, not a civil servant."

Zhu Ganglie gnawed on a roasted beef leg and said in a muffled voice:

“Also, three hundred years ago, the Heavenly Palace’s military system was greatly changed. We usually stay in the Heavenly Palace and cannot leave without permission.

"Even if you go to the Tianhe Military Headquarters in Northern Juluzhou to do business, you must report on time.

"If I really wanted to sneak out, I wouldn't be able to find out who's rich and who's poor in this mortal world."

The monkey blew out a puff of smoke and cursed:
"This guy is useless except for eating and whoring. He's also wasting our medicine. I think we should roast him now!"

"Fuck, if I didn't cultivate immortal fat for you, would you be able to conjure up those things with your Bi Ma Wen?"

“Stop~”

Tang Xuanci suddenly seemed to have grasped something and stopped the monkey from attacking:

"Then where is the best brothel around here, the kind that caters to immortals? You should know that, right?"

Zhu Ganglie obviously understood everything and immediately said:

“There used to be a pretty good teahouse in Wuxianling nearby, almost as good as the madam’s garden in Mount Li.

"But I haven't been there for a long time, and now the regulations are very strict. I don't know if I can still go there."

Tang Xuanci pondered and said:

"Didn't you say that the Heavenly Court strictly forbids immortals from messing around? If an official immortal were caught drinking tea, what would be the consequences?"

Zhu Ganglie replied:
"That depends on whether the one they caught was a Fire God or a Thunder God.

"If they are from the Fire Department, then it might just be a routine operation. Maybe they can let you go if you give them some benefits.

"If it's the Ministry of Thunder, it must be a special case operation, and that's it. At the very least, he'll be demoted and suspended, or at worst, he'll be stripped of his position and banished to the mortal world."

Tang Xuanci was in a trance for a while, then smiled and said:

“Damn, you have quite a lot of experience in struggle.

“The stricter the Heavenly Court’s control, the better. Let’s try our luck in that teahouse.

"When Wukong sneaks into each room to take clinical photos, you will be responsible for confirming their identities.

"Whenever we catch a big fish, we take it down immediately and make them pay to settle the matter.

"If he dares not give it to us, we will make a big fuss and make him lose his position!"

"Oh?" The monkey's eyes rolled around and he chuckled, "Great, great, this is a brilliant plan. I bet they won't dare to tell anyone."

"Fuck, this is too cruel." Zhu Ganglie couldn't help but put himself in the role of the victim.

Just imagine, if he was still Marshal Tianpeng, and he sneaked into the teahouse while on business in the lower world and was caught on the spot by the dead monkey, then... I'm afraid he would have to give him the golden elixir.

After all, as long as I keep my official position, I won’t be afraid of losing my job.

For those at the level of Marshal Tianpeng, even if they did nothing every day and were always at the forefront of the battles, the peach elixirs they received regularly would be enough to maintain their Golden Immortal-level cultivation and achieve immortality.

Tang Xuanci and the monkey hit it off immediately and were already getting excited, imagining whether they could catch a big fish whose rank was comparable to that of Marshal Tianpeng.

But when asked about the specific location of Wuxianling, the monkey frowned again:

“This place is not on the way, you have to take a big detour to get there.

"Now that horse has replaced Xiong Ba as the supervisor. She has to check whether we are there every hour. What if she finds out I'm missing and uses the flying talisman to report me?
"This idiot can't play me. It's obviously fake. If he's not careful, he might get into even bigger trouble."

Tang Xuanci also frowned, and looked at Zhu Ganglie with even more disgust. It turned out that he had let Zhu Ganglie try to turn into a monkey before.

But there is still a huge gap between "being able to transform into thirty-six kinds of things" and "being able to transform into anything"; and there is another huge gap between "being able to transform into nothing flawless".

It’s like the difference between “understanding AI drawing”, “being able to draw pictures of all female celebrities”, and “the pictures drawn can be submitted to the court as evidence of infidelity”.

The monkey is on the last floor, and Zhu Ganglie is still on the first floor.

It can only transform into heavy and bulky objects, such as mountains, trees, stones, fat women, strong men, and little fat boys.

As for the light, gorgeous, and flying things, they became simply horrible.

The giant monkey it transformed into looked like a model built after three years of studying animation, and it didn't resemble the Monkey King at all.

"Since the horse is not in the same group as you, why don't you kill it together with Xiong Ba?" Zhu Ganglie asked curiously.

The monkey glanced at Tang Xuanci and said unhappily:
"This monk saw how ferocious she was and became lustful towards her, so he still couldn't bear to kill her. He even used the excuse that she was Ao Run's daughter and that she would be useful to him."

Ah this?

Zhu Ganglie thought of Ao Run, and combined with Xiong Da, the figure he had once glimpsed on the West Sea Fairy Island immediately emerged in his mind, and he said in surprise:

"Could that horse be the Third Prince of the West Sea Dragon Palace, Ao Ling?

"I heard that she was going to marry the immortal father of Emperor Gou Chen, but she broke off the engagement and set fire to the house, almost burning Emperor Gou Chen's lover to death.

"How come I'm with you guys and turned into a horse, being ridden by this and... by Master every day?

"Who came up with this idea? Isn't this just insulting others?"

The monkey ignored it and said to Tang Xuanci:

"Monk, didn't you say you could get her and use her for our benefit? Then when can we get her?"

Tang Xuanci felt that Nailong was too arrogant and the time seemed not yet ripe.

But considering that the Buddhist sect had already made him a temporary supervisor, it would be very troublesome if he didn't deal with it, so he took out the only two remaining purple talismans and said proudly:

"Tonight! Look at what she's doing now. I'm going to take care of her right now."

"Really?"

The monkey was skeptical and cast a spell to create a light curtain, showing the monkey fly's perspective of monitoring the milk dragon outside the cave.

This is a new magic trick created by monkeys using the principle of camera imaging. It is more convenient and labor-saving than traditional illusion imaging such as "flash and shadow" and "mirage".

In the picture as clear as an 8K live broadcast, a horse was lying on the top of a rocky slope, enjoying the midsummer night breeze.

So white!
Zhu Ganglie stared at the white horse, his mind full of a handsome face that could charm people to death, a pair of long legs that could crush people to death, and a heart that could drown people.

It will always be its regret that it was not able to approach and chat with her back then.

I never thought that after searching for her among the crowd for hundreds of times, when I turned around, the beauty was standing in the dim light.

It was extremely excited and immediately said, "Master, why don't you let me give it a try and let Guan Qinger take care of her."

Tang Xuanci said speechlessly: "You are ugly, you definitely can't handle it, so let me, the master, do it."

After saying this, a plan came to mind.

He immediately tore his shirt into pieces, asked his monkey to conjure up a Steinway grand piano, put it on his shoulders, and rushed away.

Zhu Ganglie cursed in the cave:
“This monk only allows himself to light the fire and won’t allow us to light the lamp.

"I don't know what he wants to do by carrying a large platform over there. Is he trying to force the girl onto it?

"Do you really think you can do whatever you want just because you're handsome?

"I bet the girl will beat him up and then complain to Guanyin Bodhisattva. Just wait and see!"

(End of this chapter)