[Football] Bad Boy Batty

Even during the lockdown, we still need to maintain a regular life and exercise. Half a month has passed since we were locked up in Batty's house. The house is gradually being supplied with supplies, which are delivered by volunteer organizations and police from Manchester.

After food and lodging were no longer a problem, everyone gradually calmed down from the panic they had at the beginning.

Once you have your life sorted, it's time to consider exercise.

No matter how long the epidemic will cause home isolation to last, players are still players. Now that they are away from the court, they cannot do without exercise. At the same time, they should use this time to improve themselves and maintain their physical fitness in good condition.

From a certain perspective, the epidemic has given many teams some time to breathe, especially those teams with many injured players and heavy game workloads.

Guardiola took control of the players' lives, remotely contacting nutritionists to develop food plans for everyone, and working with fitness coaches to try to keep the schedule consistent with previous training days.

What bothers the players the most is that, because they have nothing to do, the coaching staff will take turns to wake up the players every morning. They have all recorded their fingerprints and have passwords. If the players refuse to get up, they will just rush in and lift the quilt.

Of course, Batty has no such worries.

At 8 o'clock in the morning, he opened his eyes as the bright sunshine, rare in Manchester, shone through the curtains and onto his nose.

"It's only 8 o'clock, it's too early." Batty glanced at the phone on the bedside table and sat up muttering.

Guardiola's training time is 8:30, and the location is the gym on the 13th floor. Batistuta also has a small gym on this floor, but the equipment is not complete and the space is not large, so he built a more professional one downstairs. During holidays or when he is recovering from an injury, a professional coach will take him to exercise, so he needs a more convenient and spacious place.

It only takes 3 minutes to take the elevator down from this floor, and 7 or 8 minutes to take the stairs, so Batistuta always gets up at 8:20.

He likes to train on an empty stomach.

Normally, Loach would get up at the same time as him. Batistuta would go to training while he would cook and prepare pills. After the regular warm-up training and balance beam and other events last night, Batistuta and several other players like De Bruyne, B Silva, and Foden preferred to drink fruit milkshakes, which required him to prepare in advance.

Batty drank half a glass of water, grabbed his hair and went to the bathroom to wash up.

He rarely deviates from his biological clock, even if he had been with someone until the early morning the night before. Today was a special case, most likely related to what happened 10 hours ago.

Batistuta looked at himself in the mirror with a rather resentful look, rinsed his mouth, and spit out the toothpaste foam in his mouth. If it weren't for Guardiola, he would definitely not be here alone that day.

Yes, he had wanted to find someone to do something happy with last night, but just as he was hesitating whether to go downstairs or upstairs and walked into the living room, he saw Guardiola sitting on the sofa in his bathrobe with a cup of tea in his hand, looking like an elegant British aristocrat.

"Good evening, Pep," Batistuta said. "What are you doing here so late?"

"Well, good question." Guardiola said slowly, "I also want to ask you, where are you going so late, Batistuta?"

"I'm not going anywhere." Batty lied, "I couldn't sleep, so I came out for a walk."

"Really?" Guardiola glanced at him slowly, "Turn around, well, let me ask you, if I'm not sitting here, where would you turn around to?"

"I don't know, maybe at Qiaolin's place, or maybe at Loach's place," said Batty.

"It's impossible that it's one of your teammates' room?" Guardiola asked. "First it was Kevin, then Neymar, and recently Lucas. You like to look for the most recent one, right? Who's next? Kyle? Bernardo? Or -"

"Don't worry, Kyle and Bernardo aren't my type."

The head coach immediately turned his head and glared at Batistuta, because he didn't want to answer this question at all. Batistuta's behavior was tantamount to adding fuel to the fire.

"Go back." Guardiola ordered, "Go back to the room. I don't want the coaches to see something too extreme when they go to wake up the players in the morning. The day before yesterday, LJ went to wake Phil up and accidentally ran into him doing handicrafts."

"Wow! Really?"

"It's true. It was so embarrassing. Both of them were scared. It is said that Phil was still watching some movie." Guardiola answered Batistuta subconsciously. Half a second later, he realized that sharing gossip was not his purpose today, so he cleared his throat and got back to the point: "Anyway, go back to your room. I don't want to hear that someone caught you sleeping with someone."

The head coach looked extremely serious and Batistuta did not refuse. He nodded, said good night to the Catalan, and went back to his room.

……

After recalling the experience of last night, Batty just finished washing up. He went out of the room and looked at the time. There were still 15 minutes before the training started, so he decided to use this time to play with the dogs. Since they played Monopoly that day, he often took his dog Kevin to another Kevin, rubbing his head and belly from time to time, and deliberately said loudly in a certain tone of voice, "baby", "great", "good boy", "my Kevin is the best" and other words.

It turned out that the other Kevin's endurance was not as good as he imagined, and he could never last more than 5 minutes.

Maybe I can use this to annoy him, Batty thought. When they meet later, he can play with the dog Kevin like before, and then when the other one can't stand it and walks away, I can gently say: Very good, you persisted for 7 minutes, not bad, keep trying next time.

How would that guy react?
Will she explode with anger? Will she turn red and yell at him? Or will she get so angry that she grabs his collar and starts a fight with him?

Batty enjoyed himself in the fantasy space.
No matter what, he will eventually wait until the other party can no longer bear it and apologizes first.

Humph, it’s not easy to cure you.

Batistuta sprayed some perfume, combed his hair, put on his coat and prepared to go out, but before he went downstairs, Neymar came over.

"Morning, Buddy." He waved. "I came to borrow your shaving foam. I'm out of it. Do you have any left?"

Batty was a little surprised. He glanced at his chin, which was a little messy, completely different from the carefully groomed one before the city was closed, but -

"Are you going to shave them all off?" he asked.

Neymar has been growing a beard since the beginning of this season, and he regularly seeks out a professional stylist to trim and care for it. Batistuta has gotten used to it, and has gone from being opposed at the beginning to liking it now. He even feels reluctant to shave it off suddenly.

"Yeah," Neymar shrugged. "I tried to fix them, but they always came out badly, see."

He turned his head, and Batty noticed a dent in the left side of his beard. "Jesus Christ! You look like—"

"Like Tetris." Neymar already knew what he was going to say. "Yes, that's right. They've been laughing at me all morning. I can't let this nasty thing stay in training. Please help."

"Pfft!" Barty tried to hold back his laughter, "Ney, you must keep it."

"What!! No!"

"Please, keep it." Batty quickly glanced at the door, and after making sure that no one was there, he put his hands on the other's shoulders, then lowered his head and gave a light kiss. "If you keep it until tonight, I will bring shaving foam and help you shave it off myself!"

Neymar hesitated: "Really?"

"really."

After Batistuta's repeated assurances, Neymar finally agreed to leave the stupid Tetris shape until the evening, which meant that he had to endure the ridicule of his teammates all day long. Unfortunately, most of them were from the British, who were good at sarcasm, but fortunately, he couldn't understand a lot of slang and accents, which greatly reduced the embarrassment.

"Come on, let's go to the gym." Batty pulled him out.

In a trance, Neymar seemed to see a shadow flash by at the gate, which looked like a person but not a person. When passing by, he deliberately took more than ten seconds to check it, and finally determined that it was the swaying shadow of a tree.

"Ah!" Batty suddenly cried out.

Neymar finally turned his attention away from Shadow, "What's wrong?"

"I just thought of something that helped me get over the longing for your beard."

"what's up?"

Batistuta's eyes curved with laughter. He deliberately dragged out his voice and then leaned close to Neymar's ear.

"Without a beard I won't prick my legs anymore," he said.

(End of this chapter)