From the end of the world

Chapter 603 I want it all
Seeing that I didn't give an answer, Ma showed a puzzled expression.

I thought about it and changed the subject: "If you are scared, it's okay to wait a little longer."

"Wait...how long do we have to wait?"

Ma Zao didn't seem to realize that something was wrong. She said slowly, "Although I'm afraid... no, it's precisely because I'm afraid that I want to meet my parents as soon as possible. Otherwise, my determination may be worn away by time. If I used an excuse to escape this time, I might find another excuse to escape next time. I'll procrastinate more and more, and finally pretend to forget without realizing it. I don't want to become like that."

Her words resonated with me. Yes, that's part of me too. That's why I sought her out now.

And she went on to say: "It's not just about meeting my parents, I also want to face my past. For me, this must require greater determination. If I don't even dare to meet my parents, I will probably run away from my past. This is the first step I have to take."

"You mean... in the past?" I asked.

"The memory lost due to madness can be restored. Xiaowan has proved this. So, I have to try to restore my memory." Ma Zao said, "I have forgotten the names and appearances of those people I killed in the past.

"More than that, although you and Xiaowan didn't explain it directly, I am not completely incapable of thinking. Since the Gospel Institute is a dark organization that plans to kill humans, and I was a member of it in the past, I must have done a lot of bad things. I don't want to escape from those things and use the excuse of 'I don't remember' to clear myself from blood and sin."

Her voice was very powerful. Although I could vaguely sense her uneasiness about her dark past, her emotions were generally stable. The decision she made was full of strong willpower. She was completely different from the Ma Zao I had just met.

"...Your guess is correct. During the Gospel Institute period, you were called the 'Witch of Gospel', and you committed numerous crimes and stained your body with the blood of many survivors. If you want to know more specific details, I can tell you in detail later." I said, "The problem now is that it is impossible for you to recover your memory.

"If you want to use the Three Lives Stone Powder, you must become a Void Realm Apostle - this part may still be discussed, but more importantly, the last portion of the Three Lives Stone Powder has been used up with the small bowl, and the method of restoring memory has disappeared. What other method can you find?"

"——It's simple. It's just me."

Ma Zao seemed to have really thought about it and found the answer. She looked at the palm of her hand and continued, "The power of return... According to Xiao Wan, the reason why I have the physique of a broom star is because I master the power of return. The power of return is a magical power that the natural will of the planet has high hopes for and believes that it is possible to restore the wrong world itself to its original state. So there is no reason why I can't restore the memory of a mere human being.

"I can't do it now, it must be because I'm not strong enough. All rules are regarded as ironclad rules because the parties involved are not strong enough. The same is true for 'memories lost due to madness cannot be restored'. If I become the Great Impermanence, things will definitely be different. It is very likely that I will still be a drop in the bucket in repairing the world, but other things are another matter."

To become the Great Impermanence - that's quite a fantasy.

But the person who said this is Ma Zao, so it is not just a fantasy, but a feasible idea. According to the information I have collected in the afterlife, Ma Zao does have the potential and fate to become a great impermanence.

"The same goes for Xiao Wan." Ma Zao continued, "As long as I become strong enough, maybe I can save Xiao Wan too. Even if this route doesn't work, I won't give up and will keep looking for a way until the last moment. Zhuang Cheng, you think so too, right?"

I said unexpectedly: "The reason why you support Xiaowan to complete his mission is... because you made the same decision as me?"

Ma Zao didn't want Xiaowan to disappear, but her approach was not to stop Xiaowan, but to find a way ahead.

It's not about standing still in fear, but about moving forward with determination.

She must have experienced intense struggle and hesitation in her heart, but she overcame them all.

What made her so strong?
She looked at me with a determined look.

"Xiao Wan recognizes her mission. She is the embodiment of dreams whose main purpose is to fulfill her obsession. Stopping her is equivalent to denying the meaning of her existence. That is the greatest harm to her and will definitely make her extremely painful. I don't want to do something that would be tantamount to betraying her because of my self-centered feelings." Ma Zao said.

"...You care more about others than your own feelings." I said, "As expected, we are completely different people."

"Zhuang Cheng?" Ma Zao was stunned.

"Ma Zao, I'm actually here to tell you the final truth." I finally made up my mind, "In the past, I confessed all my feelings to you, and also confessed what I really pursued. But there is one thing that I have never confessed to you because of fear. Because this is also a painful choice in my heart. Once it is said, we will definitely go our separate ways and become enemies of each other."

"Zhuang Cheng... what are you talking about?" Ma Zao was stunned. "Listen to me, Ma Zao." I said slowly, "-I hope the end of the world will come."

Starting with these words, I told Ma Zao my most secret wish.

I don't expect the end of the world, but I expect all the bizarre scenes that will appear during the end of the world. In order to experience those things until the last moment, I will probably stop all those who try to stop the end of the world, and actually welcome the end of the world. From this perspective, the reason why I stand on the opposite side of the human genocide plan is also partly because I want to stop the Gospel Institute from saving the world.

It would be fine if it was a brilliant plan, but how could the end of the world be prevented by such a meaningless plan?
Of course, if the world is destroyed, my adventure will also end. It is really a short-sighted approach. But on the other hand, the end of the world has such a huge value. Compared with the end of the world, any adventure will inevitably pale in comparison.

Ma Zao would definitely despise me, thinking how stupid I was to do something that would lead to such a destructive outcome. If it was just self-destruction, it would be fine, but my actions would inevitably lead to the destruction of everything around me, including the people and things I valued.

Of course, I can't remain indifferent to this, but if I look back here, it's like saying that I regret it. In my heart, what can really judge whether what I have done so far is right or wrong is not universal morality and values, nor is it anyone's evaluation, but whether I will regret it at the last moment. In the end, the most important thing for me is indeed my own dreams and obsessions.

At the same time, I also thought about what to do with Ma Zao later.

Even if I want to be his enemy, I can't really kill Mazao. It's just a return to the original strategy. I still need Mazao's power of the unlucky star, so I will imprison him.

The teleportation skill of the returning force is indeed very tricky. A long time ago, I was unable to implement the imprisonment of Ma Zao because of this, and could only switch to an equal relationship. But now it is different. As the Great Impermanence, I can do more than just burn things. I can intervene in time, space, and even the realm of fate to a certain extent. I can try to force Ma Zao to stay.

However, difficult problems still exist, such as Ma Zao's "luck"... Although she often laughs at herself for being an unlucky person, the attention of the planet's natural will has also given her an alternative strong luck of surviving countless misfortunes alone, like a protagonist. I don't know if I can curb it 100% for a long time.

After I finished speaking, I didn't attack Ma Zao right away. Because I really cared about how Ma Zao would react after hearing what I said. Although it was predictable that she would be very sad and angry, feel betrayed like never before, and look at me with extremely disappointed eyes, these were what I should endure, and I didn't want to escape from it.

However, I never expected that Ma Zao did not show any of the above reactions.

She was just extremely shocked and stunned... But after these emotions, she took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and fell into a long thought as if she was swallowing and digesting something huge with her mind.

After a while, she slowly opened her eyes. In the gaze that was staring at me, there was no sadness or anger, let alone disappointment. It seemed to contain an emotion that I could not understand, like a quietly burning flame.

Then she said something that I never expected.

"Zhuang Cheng, I will not be your enemy."

"——What?" This time it was my turn to be stunned.

What did she just say?
"Are you serious? Or did you not hear what I just said clearly? Because you received too shocking news all at once, so your mind temporarily did not understand it? I am looking forward to the end of the world." I said, "Don't you want to stop the end of the world? To save the world in order to pay for the sacrifices and tragedies you caused in the past... This has always been your wish, and it is the driving force that has supported your activities since you traveled to the modern world?"

"Yes." Ma Zao responded.

"So what do you mean by what you said just now? You don't want to be my enemy because... because you like me?" I asked.

"I like you." Ma Zao admitted.

I asked in disbelief: "So, you are going to give up your wish?"

"No, I want to save the world, and that won't change." Ma Zao said seriously.

"If you want to save the world, you can't be with me because I will destroy the world. It's such a simple logic, can you not understand it?" I said.

Ma Zao slowly shook his head, then looked into my eyes and said in a firm tone: "The world and you, I want it all!"

(End of this chapter)