From the end of the world

Chapter 602 The Unanswerable Question

Xiaowan seemed stumped by the question.

Recalling how she suddenly became so active in being Zhu Shi's "wingman" and even described herself as a "gift for conquering Zhu Shi", this willingness to put herself in the position of a supporting role is quite contradictory now. I don't think she was lying or acting, she must have done it sincerely. However, just as facts can create deviations in people's hearts, sincere actions can also be used to cover up other real thoughts.

After a few seconds, Xiao Wan stammered, "Brother Zhuang Cheng, although honesty has always been your strength...but you suddenly asked me this question and attacked me like this...isn't it a bit too criminal?"

"If we're talking about crime, wasn't what you said before even more criminal?" I said.

"...Also, your reasoning is based on a premise, right?" Xiao Wan pointed out, "Let's not talk about how it would be incongruous for a ten-year-old girl like me to get along with Brother Zhuang Cheng in the eyes of outsiders. Even if you really want to complete the mission through my love affair with Brother Zhuang Cheng, it will also add a condition that is different from Zhu Shi's side.

"It's not enough for Brother Zhuang Cheng to fall in love with me. I have a romantic relationship, so I must also fall in love with Brother Zhuang Cheng. I won't compromise on this. And Brother Zhuang Cheng's previous statement seemed to be a tacit acknowledgment that I would fall in love with you. Isn't this a bit overconfident?"

Although the following words would make me look very shameless, and even I felt embarrassed to say them, I still said them: "You have said before that I am the embodiment of your dreams and someone you can trust unconditionally, so even if you haven't fallen in love with me yet, as long as I work hard in this direction, there is a high probability that you will fall in love with me."

Xiao Wan was speechless for a while, but did not refute. It was unclear whether she was speechless or acquiesced. Then she said: "...What about Brother Zhuang Cheng himself? Didn't he say before that it was difficult for him to truly love someone other than Sister Ma Zao? But now he thinks he can fall in love with me?"

"You asked me to go to Ai Zhushi later, but now you tell me this?" I asked back, "And... there is a flaw in your previous approach."

"…What's the flaw?" Xiaowan asked.

"First of all, I want to confirm one thing. After you complete your mission and disappear, will Zhu Shi's love feelings really return?" I asked.

Xiao Wan hesitated for a moment, then said, "Normally, I won't go back.

"Because it's different from Lu Chan's situation. The reason why Lu Chan gave up his dream and became Lu Youxun was not because of careful thinking and strong courage, but because of the huge psychological pressure and hatred caused by being tortured by the Humanitarian Department.

"That is an extreme psychological state created by a specific environment. As long as he returns to a normal environment, he can theoretically gradually adjust his heart. In fact, after the girl Lu Chan gave him his dream, he did not abandon it again. If it was really a dream that he abandoned with his own willpower, even if he returned, it would only be abandoned again for the same reason.

"Zhu Shi really abandoned her childhood dreams with her own willpower, and even gave up her love. Now she is actually not spiritually incomplete. The soul that has lost its love has achieved its own perfection in another form. It's like after discarding one of the puzzle pieces, the remaining puzzle pieces can still make a complete picture, and the discarded puzzle piece can no longer find a gap to join it."

"But you weren't deceiving Zhu Shi before, were you?" I said, "In other words, there is something abnormal going on?"

"Yes. That's why I encouraged Brother Zhuang Cheng to fall in love with Zhu Shi." Xiao Wan said, "As long as Zhu Shi realizes that she has been loved, she will think that she needs to return the love. She will feel that she needs love. In this way, even if her childhood dream cannot return to her, at least love can find a chance to return."

"Isn't this a landmine?" I pointed out. "The reason why Zhu Shi can accept the unfair treatment of 'three people together' is because she has no expectations and sensitivity in love. Once she can fall in love with me, can she really accept Ma Zao who is so close to her?
"Ma Zao was willing to accept that and was willing to give me love without possessiveness, but I wasn't stupid enough to think that this was a universal love psychology. I couldn't ask Zhu Shi to follow Ma Zao's standards, and I certainly wouldn't think that Zhu Shi would become the same as Ma Zao after regaining his love.

"Perhaps you will say that I am the Great Impermanence, and it is normal for me to have three wives and four concubines, but doesn't Zhu Shi also want to master the power of the Great Impermanence in the future?"

Xiao Wan corrected him, "Even if she fully masters the Yama Sword, Zhu Shi cannot become the Great Impermanence. She can only use weapons that store the power of the Great Impermanence."

Then, she paused for a moment and continued, "I understand what Brother Zhuang Cheng is thinking, and I know very well that it is a challenge that cannot be ignored. So... although it sounds like I am asking Brother Zhuang Cheng to do this, I hope that Brother Zhuang Cheng will be more greedy and show his strength. Let Zhu Shidu, who has regained his love, be convinced and willingly accompany you together with Sister Ma Zao.

"It's not forced, but a natural thing. Maybe it sounds unromantic, but it is also the right way that cannot be doubted."

After all the twists and turns, I'm back to the last question: "So... why don't you do it yourself?"

Xiaowan finally couldn't escape and could only sigh and speak her true feelings.

"Because... I am only a temporary existence that is destined to disappear." She said, "I am the embodiment of a dream created to be loved. Once I am loved, I will disappear immediately. For the people who love me, isn't this a very excessive thing?"

The more you desire, the less you get - I actually saw this contradiction again.

And this time, the contradiction fell upon Xiaowan.

If you really love someone, you won't want to see the other person suffer because of you. With Xiaowan's wisdom, I'm afraid she saw through this contradiction instantly. Therefore, she immediately ruled out the route of completing her mission by getting love. "...I think this is the only reason." I said.

Xiao Wan said helplessly: "Did Brother Zhuang Cheng think of this from the beginning?"

"Because I want to get the answer from you," I said, "and now I will give you my answer -

"Xiao Wan, I will never let you disappear.

"I am a very persistent person. Since I have regarded you as an important person, I will keep you no matter what. I will never allow you to leave me without my permission."

"...I see." Xiaowan gave a fake smile.

She may not think I can do it. I can't think of any way to make Xiaowan complete her mission and not leave. But I will try my best.

Xiaowan then asked, "So, is it the same for Sister Ma Zao?"

"Of course," I said without hesitation.

Xiaowan showed a very happy expression.

"That will put my mind at ease," she said.
-
I moved in the direction where Ma Zao had left.

Although I had previously speculated on the future based on the premise that Zhu Shi would be with me and Ma Zao, that premise would collapse tonight. Soon, Ma Zao would realize my evil nature from my confession and become my enemy. Doing so would actually hinder Xiao Wan from completing all her missions, so I could only think about whether I could make up for it in other ways later.

And just like what I said to Xiaowan, even if our relationship becomes hostile, I will never really let go of Ma Zao.

When I found Ma Zao, she was sitting on the roof of a distant yard, hugging her knees, looking at the scenery of the dinner party in the distance with a smile on her face.

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

Ma Zao turned around in surprise, then calmed down and said, "I want to see everyone here. ...Also, I want to sort out my thoughts."

"Thoughts?" I asked.

"Um……"

Ma Zao seemed to be preparing his words, and after a moment he asked, "Xiao Wan said during the day that the 'Apocalypse' is actually the afterlife, and the souls of the amnesiacs really traveled there... In other words, I am indeed one of the amnesiacs."

"Since you woke up in a hospital as a patient with amnesia after returning to the real world, that must be the case," I said.

"This body of mine... or myself, has a father and a mother." Ma Zao looked at the palm of his hand. "Now that I think about it, in the apocalyptic era... when I was living in the afterlife, I never had the impression of eating dessert, but I don't know why I can make soufflés. Obviously, even such ingredients cannot be collected in the afterlife.

"You and Zhu Shi told me before that my father is a middle-level manager of a construction company in Xianshui City, and my mother runs a bakery. The reason why I can make soufflés is probably because my mother taught me a long time ago, and I still have some memories of it.

"As for whether to meet them, I planned to make a decision after confirming whether I was their daughter or an evil spirit who had taken over their home. Now that I have the answer, I think I can no longer avoid it."

"Are you going to meet them?" I asked.

Ma Zao nodded slowly, then said, "But... I'm scared. There's obviously nothing to be afraid of, and I don't know how to explain my feelings... So, Zhuang Cheng, can you... accompany me to meet my parents?"

This is a question I cannot answer.

(End of this chapter)