Yes, Lady Funina!

P.S.: This is my first book release, please add it to your favorites, recommend it, and keep reading! _(°ω°?∠)_

Volume 1: Chapter 2 The Tough Furina

Today is a beautiful day. The sky over Fontainebleau is clear and the bright sunshine shines on the water goddess statue in the center of the Fontainebleau. The water goddess's serene face makes her look like a kind and wise deity.

Funina slammed a newspaper with the headline "Inazuma's Isolation Order Further Intensifies, Water God Fucarus Threatens to Blow Open Inazuma's Gates and Occupy the General's Mansion in Three Days" onto her desk.

"Nonsense! This is slander! This is fabrication! Who gave them the audacity to write this! Arrest them all and exile them to Mero Petersburg!" Funina roared, slamming her fist on the table.

Fulina never expected that this newspaper would dare to disregard the facts and fabricate rumors.

That's outrageous! Don't they know Thor is a notoriously tough fighter?! If she were to pull a knife out of her chest and deliver a fatal blow, how would we ever survive?!

"Please calm down, Lady Funina. These tabloids always like to exaggerate; that helps their sales," Richard said calmly, glancing at the newspaper stained with tea.

"So, for the sake of sales, we can ignore the facts?" Funina angrily pointed at the newspaper on the table. "Richard, isn't there any way to teach them a lesson?"

“Actually, you’ll be fine as long as you don’t look at it,” Richard said after thinking for a moment.

He wondered if he was overthinking it, but why was the Water Goddess so emotional? Her current behavior was just like that of an ordinary girl being slandered, showing no sign of cunning.

Of course, we can't rule out the possibility that the other party is faking it. Anyway... let's wait and see.

"If you don't get caught, it's not considered illegal?" Funina retorted.

"You're using a fallacy, Lady Funina." Richard had a guilty conscience; he felt that the Water Goddess's words had a hidden meaning.

"In short, now that we've seen it, we can't pretend we didn't. What if Inazuma sees it and it affects relations between the two countries?" Funina viewed this matter as a major issue that could affect diplomatic relations between the two countries.

Richard, however, disagreed, saying, "The Inazuma government wouldn't be so idle as to pay attention to such a small, insignificant newspaper."

Funina stared wide-eyed at Richard and said, "You mean I'm very free?"

She knows how to highlight key points.

Richard had a bit of a headache. He said, "That's not what I meant, but I think..."

“You’d better do as I say, Secretary Richard. I’m the Minister of State!” Funina interrupted. Richard was talking too much; she didn’t like it.

“...Yes, Lady Funina.” Seeing Funina’s firm stance, Richard had no choice but to obey her orders.

Thus arose the first disagreement between the Executive Secretary and her Permanent Secretary, with the Executive Secretary appearing to have a slight advantage due to her position.

Unbeknownst to Furina, in Inazuma, far away in the southwest corner of Teyvat, this third-rate newspaper had already been placed on the desk of the chief priest of Narukami Shrine.

"Interesting. General Kujo Sara, take a look. Is there any possibility that the plan to occupy the general's mansion in three days, as mentioned here, will be realized?"

The speaker was a shrine maiden with long, flowing pink hair. Her full breasts stretched her shrine maiden robes tightly, and her fair thighs were bare of any silk fabric. Her crystal-clear, jade-like bare feet were beautifully displayed on wooden clogs.

It's worth noting that the other party also has a pair of pink fox ears, which look fluffy and soft, making people want to reach out and try them out.

Unfortunately, since the birth of this Lady of the Palace, only a handful of people have been fortunate enough to touch her ears.

"That's impossible, Lord Yae-no-miya. When did you start paying attention to such sensational news?" Kujo Sara said coldly.

The general considered the news to be completely fabricated, but it was undeniable that when Yae no Miko read the news to her, she did feel provoked.

They just felt provoked, since Fontaine couldn't actually send troops to attack Inazuma, and Inazuma wouldn't attack Fontaine because of a third-rate tabloid.

Yae no Miko looked at the calm and loyal general beside her, chuckled softly, and murmured to herself, "I see some familiar traces in this newspaper."

"If it were him... with the current state of the General's Mansion, he might actually be able to do it."

"What?" Kujo Sara didn't hear Yae no Miko's mutterings clearly, and she asked with a frown.

“It’s nothing. Why don’t we guess how the newly enthroned Water God will handle this matter?” Yae no Miko suggested to Kujo Sara with a smile, as if she had thought of something.

Kujo Sara was not interested in this. She frowned and replied, "Lord Kuji, there are many matters to attend to in the army. If you have summoned me here for such a matter, I will not accompany you."

"Don't worry, the Shogunate army can function even without anyone, but without you, I have no one to talk to and relieve my boredom," Yae no Miko comforted.

“Is it because no one is entertaining you anymore?” Kujo Sara replied incisively.

“Let’s do it this way, General Kujo Sara. Let’s make a bet on how the Water God will handle this newspaper matter afterward,” said Yae no Miko, waving the newspaper in her hand.

Kujo Sara thought that no god would be so idle as to pay attention to such a third-rate tabloid. Even if he saw it by chance, he would just ignore it, just like a giant ignores an ant under his feet.

“I don’t think the water god of Fontaine would care about such a trivial matter,” Kujo Sara offered his judgment.

“My answer is exactly the opposite of yours. This matter will only escalate, and eventually the Water God himself will have to deal with it,” Yae no Miko said confidently.

"If I lose, I won't bother you, General, for the next month. But if you lose, you'll have to do some cosplay at Yaedo!"

So you knew you were annoyed with me, huh? Kujo Sara remained silent, but due to the authority of the palace priest, she couldn't say much more.

"Lord Kuji, you wouldn't interfere in this matter, would you?" Kujo Sara asked Yae no Miko.

"Of course, I've always been fair. A bet is a bet, and I won't resort to any underhanded tricks," Yae no Miko said righteously.

Kujo Sara looked at Yae no Miko suspiciously, but ultimately said nothing. She probably thought that since Yae no Miko had said so, she would definitely abide by the rules of the game.

"By the way, what is COS?"

It wasn't that Kujo Sara thought she would lose, but rather that she genuinely didn't know what cosplay meant. Since she had made the bet, she had to be prepared to lose.

"It's just taking a few photos, like private photos? Don't worry, they won't be leaked." Yae no Miko narrowed her beautiful fox-like eyes and replied with a smile.

She seemed to have already seen a vision of the future.

Sara, you don't want these photos to be seen by the media, do you?

Volume 1: Chapter 3 Furina, who couldn't bring herself to be tough

"Secretary-General, what should we do?"

“Linette, shall we stop using our titles in private?” Richard asked, sizing up his secretary.

My secretary is so beautiful today; just looking at her makes me happy.

A pair of delicate black stockings encased her long, beautiful legs, extending all the way into her black bodycon skirt, the deep darkness igniting a primal human desire for exploration.

Her upper body was dressed in a black blazer with a white inner layer. Her well-proportioned breasts outlined a graceful curve, and upon closer inspection, one could see fine veins on her slender, fair neck, drawing the eye involuntarily to their flow.

The girl's skin was as white as snow, and her eyes were as clear and bright as a spring. Her demeanor revealed an indifference that was not typical of her age. She was taciturn, elegant and quiet, and like a nimble cat, it was difficult to fathom her true thoughts.

"Is this considered workplace sexual harassment?" Lynette noticed Richard's gaze, her cat ears twitched, and she said in a flat tone.

Richard choked on his tea and quickly said, "Cough cough... It's not that serious, I won't look at it."

"Although I don't know why Lady Funina cares so much about those tabloids, since our superior has spoken, we subordinates naturally have to share her burden."

Richard quickly made a decision, saying, "Let's investigate this newspaper first. Have you gotten any results from the investigation?"

Lynette took a document from the files she was holding and handed it to Richard, reporting, "According to the archives, there's nothing seriously wrong with this newspaper, but the Northern Bank has found something."

"Liyue, Sumeru, Fatui, Inazuma... Goodness, so many factions, is this newspaper collecting stamps?" Richard knew this newspaper had problems, but he didn't expect it to have such a big appetite.

This is already multiple ways to cook one fish?

In this light, it actually saved him a lot of trouble.

Richard had originally intended to pin some fabricated charges on the newspaper, but now it seemed unnecessary. Colluding with foreign forces and inciting public opinion to frame a deity—either charge was enough to keep the newspaper owner in Mero Petersburg until he died.

Even the newspaper owner probably didn't expect that a clerk at the city hall could assign a secretary to access the internal transaction records of the Northern Bank.

"First, notify the Shadow Chasing Court and request their assistance in shutting down the newspaper, saying it's an order from Lord Water God. At the same time, hold a press conference, in the name of the Minister of Administration, to severely criticize this evil trend!" Richard replied after thinking for a moment.

"By the way, the newspapers we invite should be from ones with a 'close' relationship with us, to ensure everything is under our control," Richard instructed.

"Let's test the true worth of the Water God."

"Isn't this a bit too obvious?" Lynette saw through the trick.

“So I’m going to report the plan now. If things don’t go well, I’ll immediately provide a ‘reasonable’ explanation.” Richard waved the detailed report in his hand.

If the Water God notices it, then he will produce this report on the unusual water flow.

But if you don't notice... then you're in big trouble.

It's not just public opinion that's at stake; Richard also needs to re-evaluate this deity.

After observing for the past few days, Richard discovered that this deity did not seem to be as powerful as he had imagined.

Could he really be an incompetent fool?

Not sure, check again.

"Good plan, wouldn't it have been better to do it sooner? People who don't know better would think that our city hall can't handle a small newspaper!" After listening to Richard's plan, Funina nodded her little head in satisfaction.

Richard's eyes flickered, and after a moment's hesitation, he asked, "You... have approved it? And you'll also need to speak at the subsequent press conference."

"Yes, it's approved. I'll also attend the press conference later." Funina completely missed the meaning behind Richard's words and signed her name on the application to seize the newspaper without a second thought.

As for the press conference Richard mentioned, it was taken by Funina as a declaration of victory and a stage to showcase herself to the people of Fontainebleau.

Commonly known as showing off.

After this test, Richard had completed most of his psychological profile of Funina.

He had to regretfully admit that he seemed to have overestimated this deity.

It's like you're playing a high-level game and you think your opponent is very strong, but after a few exchanges, you find out that your opponent is a boosted player.

This gave Richard the feeling of surprise and delight, like seeing 100 Mora on the street.

It seems that the plans for the future will need to be adjusted slightly.

—A few days later—

With the cooperation of the Chasing Shadow Court and the City Hall, the newspaper office was quickly shut down, and the newspapers that had been published and sold in the past few days were also recalled.

The press conference was held as scheduled this morning.

Inside the City Hall auditorium, representatives from Fontainebleau's well-known media outlets gathered, but everyone was somewhat puzzled by the sudden press conference.

"Distinguished guests, journalists, ladies and gentlemen, good afternoon! I, Fukaros, the water god and the newly appointed Minister of Administration, would like to thank you all for coming!" Funina's tone was enthusiastic and her voice was very infectious.

Every guest present was drawn to Funina's unique theatricality; she was like a natural speaker, every word she uttered capable of stirring the emotions of everyone present.

Richard also noticed this, but didn't believe she could turn the tide.

If you choose the wrong path at the beginning, everything you do afterward will be wrong, and the better you perform, the more outrageous your mistakes will seem.

As Funina's passionate speech continued, the audience gradually realized that something was amiss. From the beginning until now, it seemed that the Water God had been talking about the unscrupulous newspaper, so why hadn't she gotten to the main point yet?

"Lord Water God, what is today's theme?" Finally, one of the reporters present couldn't help but ask.

"The topic? My friend, what I just mentioned is today's topic," Funina replied.

The venue became somewhat noisy. The reporters looked at each other in bewilderment. So, the Water Goddess made such a grand show just to tell them that she had shut down an unknown, third-rate newspaper with swift and decisive action?

"Lady Funina, is what the newspapers said true? Are you really dissatisfied with the Inazuma side and trying to warn the Inazuma Shogunate through this means?" a reporter asked. They came here to hear big news, not to hear the water god's self-praise.

“How could that be! It was precisely because the newspaper was filled with false reports about me that I ordered the newspaper to be shut down!” Funina clenched her little fist and waved it.

The reporters unanimously wrote in their notebooks: "The Water God shut down the newspaper office without cause due to personal grudges."

"Lord Water God, isn't it a bit too harsh to shut down an entire newspaper just because of a news article?" a reporter asked, raising his hand.

“Harsh? I don’t think so. Fontaine is a country ruled by law, and everyone should be responsible for their own words and actions!” Funina retorted.

The reporters continued: The Water God announced that he would take full responsibility for the incident!

"Did you obtain permission from the Supreme Judge, Navilette, to carry out your actions?"

In theory, Navelette is currently the de facto supreme leader of Fontaine, and both the Minister of Foreign Affairs and the Minister of Administration are under his jurisdiction.

“Vilet? What does he have to do with it? Why should I need his permission? I am the water goddess!” Funina said, hands on her hips.

The journalists' pens captured a lingering image: the water god was acting arbitrarily and unilaterally, intending to overturn the existing administrative structure of Fontaine!

At this moment, Funina also realized that something was wrong. It seemed that people did not approve of her action of shutting down the newspaper, and thought it was undemocratic and unreasonable.

Why? It's clearly that newspaper's fault! Funina's eyes were filled with confusion. Was she only allowed to have that newspaper fabricate stories about her at will, but not allowed to fight back?

As the reporters' questions became increasingly pointed, Funina's face gradually turned pale, her mind began to wander, and her words were full of holes.

The reporter's pen flew across the page, his expression excited, wishing he had more hands to write it all down!

The Water Goddess really dares to speak her mind!

Praise be to the water god!

Seeing Furness standing helplessly on the stage, Richard finally stepped forward to help end the press conference.

After the water goddess's actions, Richard was completely certain that this deity wasn't pretending to be weak; she really did only have this much.

Is there anything? Yes, but not much.