Yes, Lady Funina!

Yes, Lady Funina! The squirrel doesn't like to smile.

"Water God Fukalos, I can't understand why you can enjoy his favoritism so calmly? Fontaine is in turmoil right now, but you are so relaxed that it's shocking!"

[Servant] Alechino asked Furninha this during the diplomatic meeting.

"Thank you for your concern about the situation in Fontaine. Fontaine has put this matter on the agenda."

Finina casually threw the inquiry letter submitted by Alechino into the opinion collection box beside her.

"Ms. Funina, there are rumors that you and your secretary general are having an office romance. Is this true?"

Charlotte asked, holding the reporter's book.

"This is nonsense. I have sent a lawyer's letter to the rumor mongers. I hereby declare in the name of the water god Fucarus that my secretary general Mr. Richard and I will develop a romantic relationship no matter where we are."

"Linnit, I remember you are not a staff member, right? Why are you here?" Funina looked at Linnit who was also at the scene.

Linnet replied expressionlessly: "You are right, but I am the chief secretary of your chief secretary, Mr. Richard."

"What about Richard?"

"He has an appointment with your escort, Miss Clorinde."

"You bastard!" the three women cursed in unison.

Volume 1: Chapter 1 - Making a Big Announcement

"The entire Fontaine City Hall warmly welcomes the inauguration of the water god Fucarus as Minister of Administration" -- Steambird Newspaper

Standing in front of the mirror, the man straightened his clothes. His suit was impeccably tailored, and his white shirt collar and cuffs were spotless.

His eyes were bright, clear as water, and sparkling with sincerity. His brows were full of confidence, and a calm smile graced his face, making people feel an involuntary sense of closeness to him.

His name is Richard, a half-elf, who is of human and elf blood. He inherited all the advantages of elves: longevity, strength, handsomeness, and a pair of pointed ears.

"Lord Richard, the Water God has arrived at the City Hall and is now being led to his office by staff," Lynette reminded him from behind.

"Understood." Richard straightened his collar one last time.

Fontaine's current problems far exceed those of the Teyvat kingdoms, beset by internal and external troubles, and the looming prophecy of impending doom hanging over its head.

Moreover, he possessed the bloodline of Fontaine, and no one knew what effect Fontaine's doomsday prophecy would have on him, a half-elf. Richard dared not gamble.

So he followed the advice of his cheap aunt, Ms. Alice, and resigned from his job in Winter and came to Fontaine, where he quickly became the second-in-command of the city hall thanks to his connections.

He had just begun to resolve some issues when the Water God was parachuted in as his direct superior, disrupting all his plans.

Richard couldn't help but wonder if this god had discovered something.

But if his deductions about the situation in Fontaine are correct, then everything he did was to help Fontaine survive the prophecy of world destruction, which to some extent should be in line with the Water God's plan.

The water god Fucarus attempted to accumulate a vast amount of magical energy by absorbing the people's faith in the law and judgment in order to counter Fontaine's prophecy of destruction.

It was precisely because Richard realized this that he subtly pushed the previous Chief Executive to introduce a series of policies that seemed insignificant but actually stimulated crime.

There are also those who turn a blind eye to various corruption issues, allowing their subordinates to amass wealth in order to win people's hearts, and then personally sending them to court after using them, providing amusement for the water god, ultimately forming a closed loop.

There were also many loose ends left over from this, which will take time to clean up. If it weren't for the incident of the Water God being parachuted in as the Executive Minister, Richard was confident that he could become a minister within three years without leaving any handle against him.

Unfortunately, now that the Water God has arrived, Richard is faced with the possibility that his scheme might be exposed.

Richard couldn't possibly hope that the Water God would understand and trust him after those things were exposed, so he had no choice but to return to his old ways—deceiving his superiors and subordinates.

Although he formed cliques, deceived his superiors, sidelined ministers, and acted arbitrarily, he was a loyal minister.

According to the famous theory, "If you are not caught, it is not a crime."

Richard only needs to suppress these matters, keeping them out of the Water God's sight, while demonstrating his abilities to gain her trust, and his mission will be complete.

According to Richard's deduction, the Water God's appointment as Minister of Administration was likely just a temporary act of spite, and he wouldn't stay in that position for long.

It's his own fault, really. He stirred up public opinion for no reason, and now the Water God couldn't stand the provocation and came to be his boss.

If he had another chance, he would never write an article like "The Great Crisis of World Destruction and the Afternoon Tea of ​​the Water God Fukaros," and he even thoughtfully added a picture of Fontainebleau flooded next to a photo of Funa having afternoon tea to stir up the water god's sentiment.

His intention was to provoke the water god to take more measures to respond to the prophecy, rather than to have the water god personally take the lead, become the chief administrator, and prove himself.

With these thoughts in mind, Richard pushed open the door to the Executive Minister's office.

Then he saw the Water God sitting at his desk, wearing a blue top hat and a modified blue tuxedo.

However, at this moment she was gritting her teeth, her eyes blazing with anger, staring at the newspaper in her hand.

Richard blinked. If he remembered correctly, the newspaper in the Water God's hand should have been published by the newspaper he had chosen when he was stirring up trouble.

Richard guessed the above content was roughly as follows: "Water god Fucarus attends court to defend the defendant, resulting in an additional 10 years in his sentence" and "Water god Fucarus takes office as administrative minister, Fontaine's destruction may be brought forward"...

As for why he knows so much, well, how could he not know what he wrote himself?

"Lady Funina, Secretary General Richard has arrived," Clarinde, a guard by the Water God's side, reminded her.

Funina put down her newspaper, her anger still lingering, but she managed a forced smile and said, "Mr. Richard, you've arrived."

To be honest, Li Jue felt that if the girl in front of him knew that the person who was stirring things up was standing right in front of her, she would probably immediately order his arrest and exile to Mero Petersburg.

"Hello, Lord Water God," Richard said with a smile, while also observing the Lord Water God.

"I wonder what Mr. Richard thinks of the contents of this newspaper?" Funina flipped the newspaper over and pushed it in front of Richard.

Richard's thoughts raced, considering many possibilities, but he ultimately took the newspaper.

"The sea level in Fontainebleau is rising, the prophecies of the end times are coming true, and the water god Fucarus is still putting on a show!" Richard unconsciously read the headline aloud.

After reading it, Richard's first reaction was that he didn't write it, and his second reaction was that the people of Fontainebleau were quite perceptive and knew how to apply what they learned to other situations.

Seeing Funina's face darken, Richard silently folded the newspaper and said seriously, "This is utter nonsense! The person who compiled this article is malicious, and the newspaper is even more unforgivable for allowing it to circulate in the market despite knowing the other party's ill intentions!"

There's a saying that goes, "The person who wronged you knows better than you how wronged you are."

"Lady Furina, I suggest that we immediately sue the newspaper and arrest and exile the person in charge to Mero Petersburg."

Richard only mentioned the newspaper's head, not the article's editor. After all, what could a poor writer know? It was all instigated by those heartless newspaper heads!

Funina blinked. While this approach was satisfying, it was a bit extreme. Fontaine is a society governed by the rule of law, and one cannot be punished for one's words.

She had thought about it before, but unfortunately, Vilette had firmly rejected her.

Tsk... On the contrary, this secretary-general is deeply favored by her; he's clearly a loyal subject!

“Ahem, Mr. Richard, isn’t this a bit too much?” Funina smiled with satisfaction. She felt she was being magnanimous, but her subordinate couldn’t remain silent.

Richard keenly observed this point. Sure enough, Fulina's question was a test of his loyalty. Based on Richard's experience, none of these demon gods were easy to deal with, and one could never be too cautious.

Despite the fact that this water god often performs things in public that are difficult for ordinary people to understand... uh, performance art?

Richard couldn't understand, but the feedback from the people of Fontainebleau seemed pretty good.

Everyone really liked the show's entertainment value.

The ability to win people's hearts through such means is either a genuine expression of one's true nature or a deliberate act of feigning madness, revealing a deep level of cunning.

Richard believes the latter is more likely, after all, no demon god is simple.

"How about sending a lawyer's letter as a warning instead?"

“Okay.” Funina nodded. This was a good idea; it could serve as a warning without making her, the water goddess, seem petty.

After Richard pledged his loyalty to the Water God, he began to ponder how to get the Water God to focus on external matters rather than the trivialities of the City Hall.

The best course of action now is to find something for the Water God to do, and once he has dealt with the internal affairs and filled in all the loopholes, then we can invite him back.

Thinking of this, he said, "If Lady Funina could achieve something, I think the rumors circulating in the market would be disproven."

"After all, nothing is more convincing than tangible achievements."

“That’s right, that’s exactly what I’m planning!” Funina’s gaze toward Richard softened even more.

"So, my Permanent Secretary, what is our top priority today?"

Richard presented Furina's prepared proposal: "Relevant Countermeasures Needed by Our Side Regarding the Further Tightening of the Inazuma Isolation Policy."

"What does Inazuma's isolation have to do with us?" This was Fu Ningna's first thought after seeing the title.

Richard believed that the other party was testing his professional skills, and replied without hesitation: "In fact, the trend of economic globalization is becoming more and more obvious. Economic exchanges between the seven countries are becoming more and more frequent, which has also formed the current economic pattern of mutual dependence and mutual restraint, where each is intertwined with the other."

"Inazuma is a major purchaser of forging equipment in our country, and our country also needs Inazuma's special steel to manufacture many kinds of equipment, including mechanical dogs and mechanical guards. The further tightening of Inazuma's isolation policy not only affects cultural exchanges between the two countries, but also deals a severe blow to economic and trade relations between the two countries..."

Richard, from multiple perspectives including economics, culture, and politics, incisively analyzed the impact of the Inazuma Seclusion Edict on the water god.

Fu Ningna listened in a daze, feeling a kind of beauty in the cultural desert. Finally, when talking about Inazuma culture, she couldn't help but interrupt and said, "Why don't you explain it more clearly?"

"Inazuma's move will do more harm than good to Fontaine; we will lose a lot."

Funina understood what she meant and said, "In that case, let's initiate diplomatic negotiations with Inazuma!"

“This matter involves the Ministry of Foreign Affairs,” Richard cautioned.

"Then let the people from the Ministry of Foreign Affairs come over," the Water God said domineeringly.

Richard blinked. In terms of position, the Minister of Foreign Affairs and the Minister of Administration are on the same level, and they can't command the foreign affairs department.

But now is clearly an exception, because his superior is not only the Minister of Administration, but also the nominal supreme leader of Fontaine, the Water God.

The significance of the seven gods in the various countries of Teyvat is self-evident. To some extent, the fact that the water god can become the administrative minister is also an epic strengthening of the administrative departments of Fontaine.

This is similar in principle to using the emperor to command the feudal lords.

At the Emperor's call, officials from the Ministry of Foreign Affairs were in place, but they all looked bewildered, seemingly unaware of why the Water God had suddenly convened a meeting.

This is unprecedented, and of course, it is also unprecedented for the Water God to become the Minister of Administration.

"What are your thoughts on the further tightening of the Inazuma isolation policy?" Funina asked.

"What?" The Foreign Minister was somewhat taken aback.

Funina frowned her beautiful eyebrows. Was she really being taken for a complete idiot by this act of feigning ignorance?

"You didn't know about the Inazuma Isolation Decree?" Funina asked with an unfriendly expression.

"We are aware of that, but the Ministry of Foreign Affairs has not yet received any news about Inazuma's closed-door policy," the Foreign Minister said, sounding quite aggrieved.

Richard, who was listening nearby, couldn't help but frown. He suddenly asked, "This matter has been reported in Steambird News. You're the Minister of Foreign Affairs, how could you not know?"

"The Steambird newspaper deliveryman is sick today, so the newspaper hasn't been delivered."

"The newspaper deliveryman is sick? Don't you have any diplomatic secrets?" Richard asked suspiciously.

The Foreign Minister chuckled awkwardly, "Diplomatic documents always arrive late; I usually just read the news."

Richard: ...

"Why don't you just hire another newspaper deliveryman?" Funina thought this guy was very unintelligent.

Upon hearing this, Richard couldn't help but look at Funina again. Was this the key point?

Never mind that, the issue now is how to deal with this diplomatic problem.

"Actually, I think it's the same as before, just sending a polite diplomatic note to show that we are paying attention to this matter." The foreign minister's implication was that there was no need to make a big fuss.

Upon hearing this, Funina exclaimed, "How can this be? It was like this before she came, and it's still like this now!"

Then wouldn't her trip have been in vain?

"No, constantly backing down will only make others think that we, Fontaine, are weak and easily bullied. If Inazuma reduces some orders today, and Sumeru reduces some orders tomorrow, how can Fontaine's economy develop in the long run! Where is the future?!" Funina said righteously.

"From political, economic, and cultural perspectives, we should all show a tough stance!" Funina couldn't memorize Richard's long speech, but she did remember a few high-sounding-sounding terms.

When you say something like "imitating a cat to imitate a tiger," and combine that with her identity as the Water Goddess, you have to admit, it's quite convincing.

Foreign Ministry officials said you are the God of Water, and that you are right about everything.

Thus, the first meeting after Lord Water God took office as Minister of Administration came to a successful conclusion.

And the results were obtained very quickly...

——————

On Monday morning, as usual, Funina walked to the city hall, greeting each citizen along the way and reminding them to pay attention to today's political news, as she had made a big splash!

Back in her office, she took the newspaper and black tea offered by Clarinde, took a sip of tea, and glanced at the newspaper.

The headline catches the eye: "Inazuma's isolationist policy intensifies; water god Fucarus vows to breach Inazuma's gates and occupy the shogun's palace in three days."

"puff!"