Uneasy daily life

The daughter, sitting on a small stool next to him, suddenly asked, "What does Dad want to do?"

Xiao Yun remained silent for a while, then shook his head and said, "I don't know yet."

"Can't we go home and think about it slowly?" The daughter seemed to have found a weakness and said earnestly, "How can I be at ease leaving you here alone? Whatever Dad wants to do, I will..."

"Right now, I want to be here alone." Xiao Yun cut off the flaw in his answer. "What I do here is a question for later."

The daughter was speechless, then frowned and tried to persuade him, "Dad, is there something you're unhappy about with Mom... or do you have a problem with Grandma?"

She tentatively asked, rather cautiously, "They all said they might not have noticed your feelings before..."

“I have no complaints, they don’t need to feel guilty, and I don’t need too much concern.” Xiao Yun gazed into the distance and said earnestly, “Between people, there aren’t so many things that should or shouldn’t be done… Graduation is just around the corner, have you found something you like to do?”

The daughter shook her head, somewhat puzzled.

"Then go find it, but don't follow my example."

My daughter also has her own life to live, so after staying in the countryside for a few days, she left and returned to the city.

Xiao Yun gradually had an idea. He recalled his college days—no social life, no family, only himself, and he immersed himself in the game, building a world from scratch.

Making games?

Xiao Yun gradually broke free from his habit of spacing out and began to devote his time and energy to playing games.

Times are changing so fast. The technologies and knowledge I remember seem somewhat outdated now. The social structure of today has given rise to different cultures and spirits... To make a great game, you can't avoid interacting with these new things.

Make a game, a game that you'll be satisfied with.

……

Are conversations in dreams useful or not?

Yukino Yukinoshita watched Xiao Yun age rapidly, and he seemed to be silently burning again, slowly studying while surfing the internet.

She was confused.

“It’s no use saying it, these things have already happened.” Bai Ying spread her hands and said, “You know about puberty syndrome, right? Now you could say it’s my puberty syndrome.”

Yukino Yukinoshita frowned and said, "So you're just showing us your past life?"

“Yes!” The white figure nodded repeatedly, her tone filled with reminiscence. “Hero, do you remember? You really wanted to know about me, to know so many things about me, but I couldn’t describe everything to you in words, nor could I express questions like ‘what kind of person do you like?’”

"Putting aside your imagination, I have no memories of you," Yukino Yukinoshita said calmly. "If this really is your past life, I could never fall for someone who is already married and has children... well, it would only lower my favorability and keep my distance."

"Damn Kira Yoshikage, damn Killer Queen! Give me back my love-struck hero!"

"You're the one with a love-struck, single-celled organism driven only by the instinct to reproduce!"

"Okay, actually, I don't really want to show you the rest..."

Bai Ying clicked her tongue: "If only I had died sooner in my past life."

Yukino Yukinoshita asked in confusion, "What's wrong? What did you do that caused you to ruin your reputation in your later years?"

“No…” Bai Ying shook her head and said with a sigh, “I’m just unfortunate to have lived too long and have experienced how life rots.”

The decay of life?

Yukino Yukinoshita was somewhat puzzled.

To be honest, Xiao Yun's life is not bad right now... A person who is already quite old has actually gradually rediscovered things he had forgotten before, created a few new games little by little, and has actually made some money at the age when he should be retiring.

He occasionally argues with users who leave negative reviews online; judging from his words alone, it's hard to imagine that he's an elderly person.

Despite getting older, he is getting more and more energetic.

Speaking of which, Xiao Yun always has a serious expression on her face. She was taught from a young age to be a brave and genuine daughter, and her temperament is quite similar to Chitanda's.

Yukino Yukinoshita also felt a strange sense of relief, as if she had seen someone stubbornly struggling out of the mud.

While Xiao Yun was eating, he suddenly spat out a tooth.

……

Xiao Yun did not attend the funeral held in the city after his mother passed away.

As her daughter grew older, she married her boyfriend, whom she had been dating for several years since college. Xiao Yun did not attend the wedding.

This was something that could be done either way, but Xiao Yun ultimately didn't go. His daughter harbored resentment about this and gradually returned to the countryside less frequently.

Xiao Yun understands his daughter. Whether it's the need for a young person to establish themselves in life or the emotional aspect of logic, it makes her somewhat resentful towards him.

If Xiao Yun were to find reasons, she could find many—her body was gradually aging, making it difficult to travel to distant places; a terminal illness constantly lingered in her body, and she didn't know when it would take her life; she had already expressed her blessings to her daughter and her condolences to her mother through the internet and phone…

But he simply didn't want to waste his life on things he shouldn't.

Funerals are for the living, weddings are for oneself and one's loved ones; neither has anything to do with a useless old man.

Time passed little by little, and the days gradually became lonely.

Xiao Yun thought he could endure loneliness, but he discovered that loneliness was more than just a feeling of mental oppression.

With teeth falling out and the tongue losing its sensitivity, one has to give up the taste and variety of food and start choosing simpler, more convenient, and easier-to-digest foods, such as a bowl of porridge or a packet of oatmeal.

As my muscles and bones age, I always feel pain. Even lifting a little weight makes my arms tremble uncontrollably, and maintaining my balance becomes difficult. I can only hire some young people from the village every now and then to help me buy necessities in town.

His eyes began to become cloudy, and his field of vision gradually became blurry and narrow. This created many hardware obstacles for him, who needed to go online and code to make games, making it impossible for him to complete what he had conceived.

When taking a shower, the feeling of cold is more pronounced. Every faint chill feels like a knife piercing the body, sliding between muscles and joints, bringing a deep stinging and icy sensation.

I didn't take good care of my health when I was young, I didn't exercise much, and I often stayed up late working overtime...

When the flames go out, all the glaring marks from the burning will appear on the firewood, with lung cancer being the most noticeable one.

"We can't even use the toilet anymore...we have to switch to a seated toilet..."

Xiao Yun was squatting on the toilet when he stood up and his knees almost buckled, causing him to fall in the toilet.

He remembered what had happened before. He had urinated again, and ended up soaking most of his pants and getting his hands wet. He had to muster up the strength to take a shower and put his clothes in the washing machine.

The old man's frailty and helplessness aggravated his sense of shame. The dignity he had understood since childhood was shattering. He couldn't even imagine what a hellish and painful experience it would be if he lost control of his body one day and defecated in his pants like an animal.

Life begins to decay before the soul.

That time, Xiao Yun had the idea of ​​returning to the city and to his daughter and wife.

In the end, Xiao Yun gave up the idea.

He didn't want to give up on life and turn back, nor did he want to continue living the life he was supposed to.

It was supposed to be cancer? All these years, and it still hasn't taken its own life?

……

Yukino Yukinoshita remained silent, looking at the stubborn old woman with a pained expression. She was slowly emitting a putrid smell, yet she stubbornly insisted on continuing to struggle.

She couldn't tell if Xiao Yun, if she hadn't been diagnosed with a terminal illness and had found a reason to escape everything, could have received better care and avoided this lonely decay. But to avoid this situation, should Xiao Yun continue down that path? Which is more acceptable: the decay of the soul or the decay of life?

She thought of her grandfather, the same stubborn old man who was still healthy... Surely one day, her grandfather would also face such a miserable situation? When she went back with her mother last time, she had a somewhat negative and dissatisfied attitude towards her grandfather, but she forgot that the old man had entered the twilight of his life.

Bai Ying also watched silently from the side, watching that unforgettable scene, where all the beauty was slowly decaying and collapsing. The dignity, diligence, wisdom, courage, and everything else that people had cultivated were all powerless in the face of the decay of life.

……

"dad……"

Hmm? Am I... spacing out?

On the flat ground in front of the house, Xiao Yun slowly came to her senses, looked at her daughter who seemed a little unfamiliar, and said softly, "You're back?"

Today doesn't seem like the day my daughter would visit me, does it?

"dad!"

The daughter, carrying her luggage, burst into tears, filled with immense grievance.

Her husband cheated on her, the two had a big fight, and her daughter came to visit her in a huff with her luggage.

After sorting through the situation, Xiao Yun realized that her wife's family, being older and more submissive, couldn't really stand up for her. Her in-laws, on the other hand, were clearly siding with their son, wanting to downplay the issue and let it go.

Similar things seem to have happened before, and now it's happening again.

Xiao Yun nodded and told her daughter to settle down. She listened to her daughter recount the setbacks and difficulties in her life, some of which were familiar and some were unfamiliar, such as the conflicts and disputes between her and her parents-in-law as a wife.

The old man's somewhat cloudy eyes looked at his daughter, who seemed vaguely unfamiliar, not matching the image he remembered most vividly.

After staying for a few days, Xiao Yun took out some of her savings and, as before, gave the money to her daughter to take back with her.

"Where did you get all this money?"

"Play games."

"play games?"

"Take it. The extra money is useless to me, but it might be of some use to you."

Xiao Yun casually remarked, "Over the years, you're the only one who comes to see me regularly. I don't have anything to give you."

The daughter left, but before leaving, she helped the elderly with their laundry, cleaned the room and the slightly smelly toilet, and said she would come back to visit often in the future.

Xiao Yun remained silent, simply watching his daughter leave.

His body was indeed getting old, but his mind had not yet become numb or stiff, and he still retained the habits he had developed in the past.

Helplessness, grievance, and sadness; the expression on her face as she held her phone and gazed at the highway every day; the occasional arguments during phone calls; the surprise and joy when she gave her money…

"I hope you won't come again."

Xiao Yun murmured softly, continuing to slowly stare at the computer, enduring his occasional lapses in concentration and absent-mindedness. A sliver of firewood dangled from the fragile embers, inspiring him to create another game… a game that spans from the elderly to children; the script was already written.

The penniless old man gradually regained his vitality, and his mind and body became healthy again. He acquired wealth, a wife, children, and friends, but he always felt that life was exceptionally dull and tedious. So he distributed his wealth to others, and his mood became more positive and cheerful. He even gained friends who were called his father and mother. He continued to move forward on the path of life, gradually becoming aware of his dreams and working tirelessly towards them. In the process, he gradually realized his limitations, so he studied and read diligently, gaining wisdom and courage. In the final stage of his life, surrounded by the waiting and throngs of relatives and friends, he slowly closed his eyes, with the beauty and dreams of childhood still within him.

Do people grow up through loss or through gain?

Xiao Yun had already figured out the ending; all that was left was to complete the game.

From the day a person is born, they possess everything precious...

……

Where is your daughter?

Yukino Yukinoshita suddenly spoke.

"Life is the teacher that no one can escape." Bai Ying shrugged. "She..."

"I see."

Yukino Yukinoshita took a deep breath and said coldly, "A family is a group of interests, but there are also close and distant relationships within a family. Whoever can bring in more money will gain the power in the family... The interests of the wife and husband are more aligned, the interests of the husband and his parents are more aligned, the interests of the wife and her parents are more aligned... It's really..."

Yukino Yukinoshita couldn't speak, only pursing her lips tightly, unable to hide the disgust welling up in her heart.

“I couldn’t escape the web of life, so it’s only natural that she couldn’t.” The white figure placed a hand on Yukino Yukinoshita’s shoulder. “In the end, I didn’t care about anything; I just focused on chasing after my younger self. So, facing this situation in the end is only natural…”

Yukino Yukinoshita gave the white shadow a cold look, took a step to the side to break free from the claws, and raised her hand to pat off the non-existent bacteria and dust on her shoulder.

The white figure raised her hand to her chest, heartbroken, and said, "Hero! You've changed! You used to always hug and kiss me... But now? You actually think I'm dirty!"

"Hmph! Stop dreaming!"

Yukino Yukinoshita said calmly, "I now suspect that you and Xiao Yun are not the same person at all..."

"He's my past, of course not me." The white figure's expression changed instantly. "Hero, how about we make a bet! We'll bet on whether you like me or not!"

"No need. I've already signed a contract with Anxinyuan. You can go find her and ask her to be your girlfriend. She seems pretty love-struck."

Yukino Yukinoshita continued throwing the boomerang.

The white figure frowned, shuffling his hands in the air as he muttered to himself, "Let me see where 'Yukino's Confession' is... The first sentence: First, let's confirm whether this document meets legal standards..."

"#!"

Yukino Yukinoshita felt increasingly conflicted; this white figure and Xiao Yun were completely different types of people.

Are there any similarities between the two?

Yukino Yukinoshita let out a soft breath, her brows furrowed: "Hysteria bacteria, what exactly is your purpose in bringing us in here? If it's not to solve a psychopathic killer, are you trying to achieve something by showing a movie?"

"This..."

Bai Ying pondered for a moment, then smiled and said, "I'll give you a gift, a token of our mutual exchange of lives."

Yukino Yukinoshita immediately replied, "I don't want it, and I don't agree to forced sales."

The white figure exclaimed in a booming voice, "Hero, this is a clearance sale at a huge discount! Think about it!"

Yukino Yukinoshita coldly replied, "I don't need it!"