Uneasy daily life

Sakurajima Mai Unit 2 said with amusement, "The root of Sakurajima Mai's adolescent syndrome is her inability to fit in at school, whether it's jealousy, inferiority, or longing. People at school tacitly pretend that Sakurajima Mai doesn't exist and dare not talk to her rashly... Your solution is a bit too much."

"Huh? Impossible! Absolutely impossible!"

Bai Ying said in a deep voice, "The psychological state of 'Brave Plus' is clearly one of confusion about the meaning of life, resentment at giving up her beloved career, and guilt for hurting her dependent family. All these complex experiences and emotions have accumulated, leading to her nihilistic thoughts—weariness of thinking, rejection of action, despondency at the shattering of her ideals, and contradictory misanthropic emotions under various setbacks... If it weren't for these psychological problems, how could she possibly show signs of wanting to disappear from the world?"

"That's right! This weariness with life and society is the nihilistic thinking that no one can avoid! Nihilism means that everything will come to an end, whether it is life or emotions, whether it is abstract or concrete. Isn't it just the phenomenon of being forgotten by society? Before losing life and finding oneself, one has already lost the meaning of being human!"

Mai Sakurajima: '...'

Maybe, perhaps, maybe I have indeed thought about these questions?

Mai Sakurajima (Unit 2) tilted her head: "Is it possible that you're making a far-fetched connection and making a mountain out of a molehill?"

"No one understands puberty syndrome better than me."

The white figure stood tall and straight, convinced that the possibility of his misjudgment was unlikely, just like the chest of a hero, the mind of a stick figure, and the weight scale that was too long to read aloud.

Mai Sakurajima Unit 2 laughed and said, "I'm the one who sent out the puberty syndrome."

Bai Ying: "...Is it possible that you really don't understand puberty syndrome?"

Sakurajima Mai slowly opened her eyes wide, staring at Sakurajima Mai Unit 2. Was this the puberty syndrome sent by the other side?

'What is your purpose? Who are you?! What...what are you doing? Stop right now!'

The three uncontrollable questions came to an abrupt halt as Sakurajima Mai tried to stop her, but unfortunately, Sakurajima Mai #2 was faster. She raised her hand, grabbed the hem of her dress, and lifted it off!

She sat on the bed, her slender waist curving upwards, her fair skin reflecting the morning sunlight. Her long black hair, pulled up by her shirt, cascaded down, softly and loosely clinging to her back, shoulders, and waist, with a strand of hair falling into the gap of her bodice.

'you--'

It's not me, but it is me!

Sakurajima Mai clenched her fists, itching to make a move, and subconsciously looked in the direction of the white figure.

The white-clad figure covered his eyes with both hands, his fingers parted slightly, and stared intently with righteous indignation. It could be said that there is a way to have both in this world, to live up to one's virtue and conscience.

"Her waist is as white as snow, her skin as bright as the moon."

Bai Ying made a comment.

Mai Sakurajima: #￥! ￥! @!

"I originally wanted to give you a sample of puberty syndrome as a gift, but unfortunately you're neither in puberty nor have the syndrome... which makes it even more interesting." Mai Sakurajima Unit 2 said calmly and with a playful smile, "Don't be so nervous, I'm just doing this out of kindness."

'What kind of kindness is this?!'

Mai Sakurajima was so angry she roared.

Mai Sakurajima Unit 2 looked up at her, smiling broadly.

"I'm not lying to you, I really am Mai Sakurajima... Consider this gift as compensation for borrowing it for a while."

Sakurajima Mai was about to try other methods when she faintly heard bursts of laughter. Suddenly, she found herself on the bed, sitting like a duck deliberately showing its legs. Her upper body was warm, yet there was a faint coolness as her skin touched the air. Her bewildered eyes looked ahead, keeping a wary eye on the Killer Queen, with a strange white shadow appearing in her gaze.

A spark ignited in my heart, and a restless heat instantly rushed to my cheeks, igniting a burning sensation throughout my body.

So it really is my own body?!

"Turn around!"

Mai Sakurajima instinctively hugged her chest with both hands, raised her knees to block her front, curled up into a ball, and issued the command through gritted teeth.

"Stop fooling around, put on your clothes." Bai Ying observed her surroundings.

Sakurajima Mai couldn't help but grit her teeth, picked up the coat next to her, and eagerly put it back on. Once the clothes covered her body, she calmed down a lot. She raised her hands and reached behind her neck to pull out her long, black hair that was covered by the clothes.

"It seems that Mai Sakurajima's second unit has left."

The white figure got out of bed as if it were nothing, strolled towards the door, and muttered an analysis of the situation: "Is the essence of puberty syndrome some kind of superpowered person causing trouble? They really have no sense of public order and morality. Wouldn't it be better to learn to cheat on the scale by not reading too much? Really..."

"stop!"

Sakurajima Mai got off the bed barefoot and rushed to the door. Her chest heaved, her emotions a jumbled mess. If the mysterious person had used her body earlier—would her face still smell of Black Fan's spittle?! Black Fan looked at his body… wait, how did he get targeted by some superpowered being? No…

The situation is chaotic, a complete mess, and I don't even know where to begin.

The white figure extended its right foot forward.

Mai Sakurajima habitually stepped on it.

Mai Sakurajima belatedly realized that she was barefoot and the white figure was wearing slippers, as her sole pressed down on the toes peeking out of the slippers.

"……cough."

Sakurajima Mai coughed lightly, her thoughts becoming clearer. She smiled and said, "Black Fan, did you have a good eye-opening experience?"

"Not as good as erotic pictures."

Bai Ying said honestly.

Mai Sakurajima: #!

Stomp force +1! You hater!

As I stepped down, I immediately felt my toes moving around, a strange, itchy sensation.

Mai Sakurajima slowly revealed a look of disgust, silently watching the white figure.

"Congratulations on freeing yourself from the meaning of nothingness, realizing your true nature, and attaining the great path of life." The white figure made a hand seal and smiled, "The sky is high and the sea is wide, and your heart is free from doubt. Today you know that you are who you are. You have great enlightenment, benefactor."

Mai Sakurajima rolled her eyes slightly, probably indicating that she felt the force of her stomping and confirmed that she had emerged from puberty syndrome, no longer suffering from psychological or physical invisibility...

Ok?

Sakurajima Mai felt something was off, her thoughts still lingering on the second Sakurajima Mai from earlier, and she asked curiously, "Black Fan, how did you recognize that wasn't mine?"

You can't just look at the hands, can you? If you only look at the hands, you can't tell the difference between the same hands.

Bai Ying looked into her eyes, but Sakurajima Mai was confused.

Then I heard my own voice.

"I must owe something, but the so-called debt can only include money, goods and other benefits, so I cannot owe anything, nor can I think that I owe anything—feelings cannot be owed or promised, otherwise they will cool down and become mixed with the calculation of gains and losses."

"Just like my father and mother, when my father uses money and interests as the standard for consideration, indifference and apathy follow, and the affection disappears."

“I don’t want to be like him, but I can’t control my feelings… When I don’t get a promise, I panic. When I can’t speak, there’s no response. Without care that I don’t even know how to express, I can’t feel at ease. Without my own control over my emotions, I feel helpless.”

Sakurajima Mai, in her soft, slow voice, said, "I seem to be a coward, wanting a solution that satisfies both sides. I want you to soothe my feelings, but I don't want to be solely determined by you, as that makes me uneasy, so..."

"Hate Fan!"

Mai Sakurajima suddenly interrupted Shiro's words. She wasn't sure how much this guy had seen through her, and some things she had to say herself, instead of letting this guy jokingly drag them out!

Confess your feelings to me.

Chapter 117: Love explodes!

Confess your feelings to me.

The words, which sounded like a command, were repeated in a gentle and calm tone, while bright black eyes held a soft, cotton-like emotion that was not harsh.

"We've unknowingly written a long story, said a lot of things, and experienced some interesting and noisy things on set. Human relationships are a wonderful thing, you know, Hater."

The words were spoken calmly and gently, like a soft murmur, flowing gently.

"The road we walk becomes familiar, time covers our footprints with dust, only because the road ahead is so alluring. An unintentional glance back, looking back at the road we came from—fragrant grasses spread along the path, flowers exude a delicate fragrance, and the sun shines brightly. Our mood changes from then on, and the road we came from becomes unforgettable."

Bai Ying placed her hand on her chest, softly confiding, describing, and expressing the unspeakable changes and thoughts.

Incidentally, there's one more trivial thing: he used Mai Sakurajima's voice.

Sakurajima Mai tried her best to remain calm, suppressing all her unease. She kept her right foot firmly planted on the troublemaker in front of her, and instead of getting angry, she laughed, quickly joining the conversation. She said, "The autumn wind also has a vast and lofty realm, and the spring rain is not without its hidden sorrows. The same things, just a change of mood, are framed with different meanings. This is what it means to be unforgettable; the past is given weight by feelings. This is what it means to remember. Isn't that amazing, Black Fan?"

Keep talking! You hater! I'm going to keep attacking you! If you're so capable, tell me everything—what I'm wearing today…and what I'm planning to eat!

Mai Sakurajima silently told herself to treat it as acting, stay calm, and absolutely not let the haters lead her by the nose.

Ha! A mere third-rate actor with mediocre acting skills, you think you can compete with me?

The white figure looked directly into Sakurajima Mai's eyes, still using Sakurajima Mai's voice, to depict and portray the other's feelings, and then tried to embellish them before speaking.

"Misty flowers, watery moon, clouds and smoke are boundless; how much of my heart's secrets are clear? The past is unbearable to look at with sentimentality, just like the wind stirring up the water and creating waves."

"Hey, the more I think back lately, the more I feel you had ulterior motives from the beginning. You were probably planning this all along. Otherwise, out of so many celebrities, why did you choose to clash with me? Why did you join the film crew? Why were you so annoying, insisting on interfering in my life and family relationships? Why didn't you back down or give up, but instead insisted on helping me solve my adolescent syndrome? I can't even figure out my own thoughts, but you see them so clearly. The reasons are self-evident..."

White Shadow (Sakurajima Mai version) smiled, then suddenly her expression changed, and she exclaimed confidently, "Hater! You must like me, right?!"

Mai Sakurajima: #!

Suppressing the slight panic and the unease rising in her heart, Mai Sakurajima noticed someone's groping leg carefully moving away, trying to pull away. She raised an eyebrow, stomped her foot firmly, and said calmly, "Black Fan, say those words again in your own voice."

"Hehehehe—where does your confidence come from?" The white figure chuckled twice, then her voice shifted back to Sakurajima Mai's, but with a hint of resentment she hadn't used before, a hidden resentment rising within her. "You know everything, yet you say nothing. Perhaps you have another sister on your mind, and can't possibly tolerate me? It's my fault for owing you favors and debts, being a person with a tragic fate, how dare I speak ill of you? If my heartfelt words upset you, then it's my fault..."

War tramples!

Smash it left and right!

Clenching his fist with his fingers, giving a suggestive look.

"Shut up! Don't spread rumors and smear me, you hater!"

Mai Sakurajima, somewhat exasperated, snapped at her to stop.

"I'm your hater," Bai Ying said proudly, head held high. "What kind of hater wouldn't smear you?"

Mai Sakurajima glanced at him sideways and said, "Didn't you graduate from being a hater and become my fan?"

"That was just a temporary measure. I poured my heart into being a hater, but she turned away and left," Bai Ying said honestly. "Since you've chosen to become a star again, I guess I have to go back to being a hater and keep going—look, I've carved out a niche for you with my haters, helping you stand against the world..."

"Hey hater, stop trying to cover it up with rambling nonsense."

Mai Sakurajima smoothed her hair, crossed her arms to boost her imposing presence, and firmly planted her feet on the white figure, afraid that he would run away in a few steps—of course, running away was no problem, as her computer was still in the house, and using the computer to control the white figure was not an issue: "I saw those posts you made yesterday... Don't smear yourself to attract hatred, just remove me from the picture."

"Huh?" Bai Ying was taken aback, then continued to pinch Sakurajima Mai's voice, "Yes! The hater must be doing this for me, pretending to be crazy and having an online meltdown. It'll both increase my presence and help me overcome my puberty syndrome, and avoid any subsequent impact on me..."

"Oh? Isn't that what you think, Mr. Hater?"

Mai Sakurajima raised an eyebrow and asked a question with amusement. Before Bai Ying could speak, she continued, "Of course, that's not what Black Fan thinks. He does what he wants to do. He'll start a topic if he thinks it's interesting. He never deliberately tries to show anything... Deliberate means pretense, and pretense means falsehood. Black Fan just does what he feels like, right?"

Sakurajima Mai said gently, "Yes, that's how Black Fan is. It's just that Black Fan thinks this way, so how can I not be moved? Or maybe my feelings have changed, and I unconsciously notice your unintentional kindness. Whether it's resolving the conflict with my mother, getting rid of the troubles of puberty syndrome, or finally cleaning up the mess in my heart and wanting to start moving forward again... perhaps this is that indescribable feeling."

Sakurajima Mai felt herself blushing, her heart filled with a complex mix of emotions, which were difficult to sort out. Instead, the other person's words slowly and clearly outlined her feelings, causing her to become even more flustered, to the point that she couldn't think of a response: "Hacker-kun, wait a minute..."

The white figure didn't stop, continuing to speak tenderly.

"Expressing a feeling is a real challenge."

"If I say too much, I fear I will distort the original meaning; if I say too little, I fear I will fail to fully express my thoughts."

"It's really difficult to say just the right amount, but it's also difficult not to write a single word."

"When I see cherry blossoms in full bloom in spring, fireworks in summer, flowing water in autumn, and snow-covered landscapes in winter, I think of you."

"I took it upon myself to interpret this accidental, lucky, and wonderful experience as your kindness towards me."

"I am truly ashamed."

Every sentence is devoid of joy, yet every word is filled with affection, like a love letter without any demands, simply dissecting one's feelings and pasting them onto the letter paper.

I should be the one saying it!

Mai Sakurajima opened her mouth, but couldn't say anything for a moment.

"Hate Fan!"

Mai Sakurajima tried to stop her.

"It's okay, I understand you." The white figure's voice returned to normal, then a second later it returned to a beaming smile, continuing in Sakurajima Mai's voice, "Anger, sadness, frustration, happiness, exhilaration—so many different kinds of feelings, just slightly touched by this moment, have become unforgettable memories..."

Sakurajima Mai's vacant gaze sharpened, she rubbed her toes hard against the white figure's foot, took a slight breath, and gritted her teeth, saying, "I'm going to get angry!"

"Hey~ You're in such a hurry, you're in such a hurry, no matter how anxious you are..."

With one hand grabbing the white figure's collar and pulling hard, Sakurajima Mai leaned forward slightly, pressing most of her weight onto the white figure's paws. Her slightly embarrassed and annoyed eyes stared straight at the approaching white figure, her voice trembling slightly but sharp and powerful: "Hate fan! What do you mean by looking at me like that?!"

Bai Ying said seriously, "Calm down first, let's talk this out, don't get physical... Okay! Now it's your turn to read your lines, the stage is yours to perform for a while!"

Catching a glimpse of Sakurajima Mai's slightly parted lips and the teeth revealed, the white figure cautiously changed her words—Good heavens! You actually tried to bite me?!

"I suppose it's just as you said, but the relationship between my father and mother really left a deep impression on me... I know the reason, I know the justification, but I still can't quite understand my mother's thoughts and my father's choices. Even though I gradually came to understand the complexity of this world and what that man was pursuing, I still couldn't comprehend it."

“My mother rarely mentions him, but she probably still cares about him. Even if she no longer has the desire or urge to win him back, all that's left is the memory of ‘that kind of thing happened,’ and she pours all her emotions into me…”