The Thirteen Trials of the Deceptive Monk

"So you've finally figured it out? This kind of tactic is completely meaningless against the Flower Hero." Lü Wenjun covered his face with one hand. "How can mere irritating gas possibly withstand the effects of a thousand-times-forged plant fiber!"

"Can the words 'forged through countless trials' and 'plant fiber' be put together?" Ling Gong asked blankly.

Pershka clutched her forehead and groaned, "It hurts so much... I feel like my intelligence will drop if I keep listening..."

"Buddy, it's time to show them the results of your training." Faris waved his hand. "Floral Warrior, use the Seed Bomb!"

"xia!"

Upon hearing this, the Flower Warrior leaped out of the gas attack range and began nimbly leaping between the surrounding trees. It took a deep breath and exhaled a brown substance as fast as a bullet! It was a plant seed the size of a bullet! The seed struck the roots of the Ugly Rose and immediately exploded in a spectacular burst!

"Long-range attacks too?" Melt stepped back warily. "This...is this Old Man Lacey's style?!"

Faris conjured a wooden grenade: "That's right, Old Man Lacey has the ability of 'Tree Blast'. After studying it in depth with him, I successfully learned the manifestation spell of this 'Seed Bomb'."

"Then we'll make it into a simple magical tool and equip it to the Flower Queen..." Chai Luo propped his chin up with his hands. "Not bad for practical modification, but how's the combat experience recorded?"

Faris clenched his fist: "It learned through rigorous training."

"Special training for a flower??"

Huise was speechless: "What exactly did you do to teach a flower to throw bombs?"

At this moment, the saturation bombardment by the Queen of Flowers continued, the roots of the Ugly Rose were constantly being blasted off, and its form was gradually shrinking. Kano observed for a while, then suddenly spoke: "It needs some time to 'reload' between bombardments! Now, use Dig, then follow up with a powerful whip!"

Lu Wenjun's expression tightened: "Did you notice? As expected of Kano-senpai..."

As Kano said, the Queen of the Night's seed bombs were not endless. While it was hiding behind a tree, secretly loading its seeds, a thick root broke through the ground, lashing out at the unsuspecting Queen of the Night!

Miss Cole anxiously explained, "Oh no! If she gets hit by this attack, the Heroine will immediately lose her fighting ability!"

"Is it a flower beauty pageant?" Huise asked the people around her to confirm. "It's a flower beauty pageant, right?"

"How can we let you succeed so easily?" Lü Wenjun shouted, "Hey, Flower Hero, get out of the way!"

Just as she was about to be struck, the Flower Queen leaped high into the air with her powerful legs! She dodged the tentacle's strike at the last second! The Ugly Rose's second and third attacks followed closely behind, but the Flower Queen, with her petite body, weaved between the tentacles, perfectly dodging them with agility that was almost disgusting!

Kano staggered back two steps as if he had been punched hard: "You...you actually told me to dodge! What kind of technique did you use...!"

“There are no techniques.” Lü Wenjun closed his eyes. “It’s simply about passing on experience to it… teaching it the skills to survive in actual combat!”

Vilsa raised his arms and shouted: "Experience! Combat! Training! These are more valuable nutrients than any magic!"

Haili quickly jotted down notes: "Plants... need... exercise!"

"Don't bother remembering this, thank you." Reiko adjusted her glasses. "But it's really impressive. To be able to do so much in just one week..."

"What should we do on the offensive?" Pershka asked. "That bomb alone won't be enough to break through the Ugly Rose's defenses."

The Flower Hero changed tactics, dodging attacks while gradually approaching the Ugly Rose's true form. However, under Kano's command, the Ugly Rose raised numerous tentacles, transforming them into a solid wall to block attacks. Its posture resembled that of a giant boxer with arms raised, using its size advantage to relentlessly press towards the diminutive challenger!

“Since you’re going for speed, we’ll use a tactic that expands our attack area,” Melt ordered. “Just force it into the woods, then pounce!”

The Heroine ran into a large tree from behind, and in the brief moment between dodging attacks, he had nowhere left to retreat. Taking advantage of this opportunity, the Ugly Rose lunged forward! With her massive size, she launched a devastating attack called "Mount Tai Slam!"

"Now's the time, Flower Warrior, use the Vine Trap!"

"xia!"

The Heroine slapped the ground with one hand and pulled a vine from the soil. The vine brought out a hidden web of tendrils that were intertwined with the roots of the Ugly Rose.

The Ugly Rose lost its balance as a result, narrowly missing the Overlord Flower Warrior, but fell down midway through the attack!

"Brilliant! The Flower Queen cleverly used a vine trap to stop the enemy's attack! But how did such a huge creature trip over with such slender vines?" Chai Luo asked.

"It's a spell! I used a spell!" Lü Wenjun flipped his hand, revealing a vine in return. That was another secret weapon he had prepared during these few days of intensive preparation—a new spell he had independently constructed after studying the Spider God's Original Codex!

“Oh, I see. Anan’s vine trap…!” Kano said.

“That’s right! The Spider Goddess Anansi is known for using vine traps to kill cheetahs. I created the manifestation spell ‘Beast Trapping Net’ based on this story, which has a significant hindering effect on the strong,” Lu Wenjun explained. “Furthermore, by leveraging the commonality of plant-based spells and combining it with Faris’s magical artifact technology, I obtained this new ability! Heroine, now’s your chance!”

At the perfect moment when the ugly rose fell, the Tyrant Flower Warrior climbed up the vines and leaped to the dark red bouquet. It clenched its tiny fist and let out an excited shout! Instantly, thorns sprouted from that small fist, and it swelled up like an inflating balloon! It swelled! Transforming into an incredibly thick wooden stick!

"A fatal blow!" Vilsa roared, "Bacchus Staff of Fury!"

The plant-based infusion technique, also learned hastily within a week, originated from the original text of the Dionysian Carnival, kindly lent by Lü Wenjun. It contained the Dionysian Staff, a wooden weapon commonly used by the priestesses of Dionysus, powerful enough to shatter boulders. After Versa mastered the technique's core, she incorporated it into flowers using a one-time-use magical tool creation method, allowing the Flower Hero to briefly wield similar power!

The Heroine Flower raised her wooden staff high, assuming a standard combat stance. That incredibly powerful strike landed squarely on the heart of the hideous rose, its tentacles trembling violently in agony!

"Hit! The Dionysus Staff's attack hit perfectly!" Giltan explained. "An irrational surge of rage caused the ugly rose's flower to begin to wither."

"In other words, the Flower Girl won!" Miss Cole asserted.

"That's not necessarily true."

At that moment, Kano, who had been watching from the sidelines, let out a cold laugh. He faced the soon-to-be-defeated Ugly Rose and shouted, "Hold on, Ugly Rose!"

Just as the Ugly Rose was about to fall, it stubbornly raised its flower at that shout. Chai Luo shouted, "Look, everyone! This is a skill that is comparable to 'Quick Dodge' in professional competitions! 'Hold on!' To keep Kano from worrying, the Ugly Rose held on!"

Vilsa became serious: "This is bad, our opponent is a man of principle!"

"Does it have bones? — Does that creature really have a skeleton?" Ling Gong asked.

Kano pointed to the barely holding on ugly rose and said, "That's right! This child doesn't look beautiful, and its abilities are hardly impressive. However, it is a flower that grew in the Thousand-Year Cave, and it has inherited the indomitable will of us villains!"

"No matter how many times we're knocked down! No matter how many times we're defeated! We'll always get back up laughing and rise again!" Melt shouted. "Remember this! This is the spirit of our evil organization!"

"Why don't you use that backbone to do something worthwhile, you bunch of bastards?!" Giltan's voice almost cracked.

"Final finishing move!" Kano commanded, "Ugly Rose, use the million-power absorption!"

Beneath the ugly rosebud, a dozen or so emerald green energy branches sprouted. These branches suddenly gripped the Queen of Flowers, absorbing its magic power as if drawing nourishment from its body!

“xia——”

Just as success seemed within reach, an unexpected counterattack struck! What should she do now? The Flower Hero instinctively turned her gaze to her three mentors… but the three teachers simply stared back at her calmly!

"The teachers only prepared these three techniques," Lü Wenjun said. "And you've already mastered the key to turning defeat into victory!"

Have you got it? Is there a fourth, deadly move? When exactly will it be?

In the narrow mind of the female warrior, past training began to flash rapidly... an impossible 1,000-meter marathon... an impossible tumbler sandbag... an impossible straight punch technique... trials that seem impossible now, but her past self accomplished them.

Why? Is it because of the teachers' constant guidance and hard work? Is it because I possess unparalleled talent? A voice inside denies all of that. The reason for overcoming the impossible is something extremely simple…

will!

Just before being knocked down, a realization dawned on the Flower Hero. Just as the Ugly Rose was willing to persevere to repay the Thousand-Year Cave, the Flower Hero, wanting to become stronger, also endured the training through sheer willpower! The key to becoming the Flower Hero wasn't strength or magical artifacts, but this unwavering determination!

"That's right, this is the final lesson!" Lü Wenjun shouted. "What makes a hero a hero is this unwavering determination! Go, Heroine!"

"Xia—!"

Since there's no magic formula, we'll just have to rely on willpower to get through it!

Slowly, the Heroine Flower pried open its energy-absorbing tentacles. Clenching its fist, it took a step forward and unleashed its final blow upon the enemy at its feet!

Lu Wenjun and his two companions shouted in unison, "Million-Power Punch!!"

"This move isn't even plant-based anymore!!!"

The Flower Girl's fist struck the Ugly Rose once more. The energy-draining tentacles finally snapped, and the Ugly Rose collapsed with a groan... Miss Cole on the judges' panel stood up, waving her little flag.

"The battle is over!" Miss Cole announced. "Ugly Rose is incapacitated. The winner is the Flower Queen!"

"What a brilliant strike..." "What a flower with backbone!" "So dazzling!"

The three instructors rushed forward and lifted the Flower Queen high into the air, and the Flower Queen proudly raised her little fist. The audience applauded with emotion. Kano ran to the Ugly Rose and sprayed two bottles of nutrient solution on it. He stood up and sighed with melancholy.

“Well done, I admit defeat.” He reached out his hand to Lü Wenjun. “It seems that it’s not just our evil organization that values ​​perseverance.”

Lu Wenjun grasped his hand firmly: "The Ugly Rose is also a worthy opponent. Today, it is a victory without regrets."

Kano took out three drool-worthy little flower badges and gave them to the three people in turn.

"This ugly badge is yours to keep. Let's cheer on the Heroine Flower Warriors together at the upcoming regional tournament!"

"Yes, I definitely will!"

"A gym battle?! When are we ever going to stop playing this Pokémon trope?! Do you guys even have a shred of reality?!" Giltan pounded the table furiously.

"How did you even get that, Vice President?" Chai Luo asked. "Have you even watched the Pokémon X anime?"

"After all, it's very popular..."

The two men, who were shaking hands, looked towards the judges' panel and said, "By the way, can we announce the results of the competition now?"

Huyse gave the two of them a kind smile.

"What are you thinking? I've already said this is a flower beauty pageant! Both of you get off the stage!!"

"Hey--"

"How could this be—"

·

Then, another hour later...

After Ms. Hugheser's impatient cleaning, the stench that permeated the competition venue was finally cleared away. After the other contestants took their turns to appear, Miss Cole announced the final verdict of the competition.

"Considering all factors, the most beautiful contestant in this flower beauty pageant is 'Winter Goes, Spring Comes' from the Era Witches duo. However..."

Miss Cole smiled and clasped her hands together.

"The winning criterion for this competition is not 'the most beautiful flower,' but 'my favorite flower.' And by my standards, most of the contestants here are far too impure!"

"The inclusion of spell-like abilities based on experience has ruined the original beauty of the flowers. As a result, the contestants' personal expressions appear vague and ambiguous, which is a case of sacrificing overall consistency for the sake of cleverness," Chai Luo explained. "On the other hand, the Ugly Rose and the Overlord Flower Warrior, although slightly inferior in appearance, have a distinct 'spirit' that is immediately apparent. This spirit contains the contestants' enthusiastic self-expression, which is the beauty that the organizers most want to see."

"But He Fang's spirit was more tenacious, and the outcome of the battle just now has already been decided," Miss Cole announced. "Therefore, today's first place belongs to the 'Random Club Name' trio, the Heroines of the Flower Club. Let's congratulate the Heroines of the Flower Club!"

"xia!"

The Flower Girl and the three of them came on stage together, and Miss Cole held out the microphone: "What kind of gifts do you want~?"

The trio of Lu Wenjun exchanged a few glances and said, "Actually... we want to request a change to the prize."

"Not satisfied with the current reward?"

"Well..." Faris scratched the back of his head, "The reason we won this competition is ultimately because the Flower Queen herself performed well. The rest of us just helped with the special training and cheered her on."

“Neither the original text nor the magical artifact is meaningful to it,” Versa said. “The three of us are willing to forgo the reward; in exchange, could you please give it a small reward?”

Miss Cole picked up the round little thing and thought for a moment: "The original reward still needs to be sent. However, since that's the case..."

From that day on, the tavern on the edge of the forest gained a diligent handyman.

Although she looks like a silly little flower, she is surprisingly energetic and has no problem carrying plates or serving drinks.

"Much more reliable than any of you," Ms. Huise commented.

"Don't say that, Auntie," Cabone said with a grin. "Are we going to continue offering free admission today?"

Huise ripped the free sign off: "No!"

Lü Wenjun was greatly surprised: "Oh dear, what's wrong with you?"

"This one tournament alone has attracted so many idiots. If we continue to operate this way for free, these fools will stay here every day, and we won't have a single day of peace!" Huise said fiercely. "We can't provide free lunches anymore! If you want food, you have to exchange it for magic coins!"

“Yeah, that’s what I think too,” Cole smiled.

"Xia~" the Overlord Flower Warrior agreed.

After that, this wondrous little flower became the tavern's mascot. In addition to its odd jobs, it would occasionally be responsible for driving away pests around the forest and leading lost newcomers out of the forest, making it very popular with the students.

"What an upright flower!" the new students who later enrolled commented. "No wonder it's called the 'Heroine Flower'!"

To this, the female warrior simply said cheerfully:

"xia!"

Chapter 30 Laughter Brings Merit - 1

"So, what prize did Miss Cole give you in the end?" Linggong asked.

Miss Cole's reward for the Flower Girl was that she could serve as a long-term helper in the tavern, instead of withering away like other ordinary flowers and plants. And being a generous goddess, in addition to this extra reward, the three contestants also received the promised prizes from the competition.

“A bottle of fine yellow-green wine, which the three of us shared with the Flower Queen, tasted like grapes and lemons singing in your mouth; a small gray pair of gardening shears, which can trim plants into the shape you want as much as possible, was given to Faris.” Lu Wenjun told her, “There’s also a booklet of her own unorthodox style called ‘Ode to the Underworld,’ which is a… relatively… dark humor work with a high aesthetic threshold.”

"What a subtle description."

Lu Wenjun carefully considered his words: "This book references a large number of humorous stories circulating in the Land of the Dead, highlighting the unique thoughts of the deceased on death and destruction, and perfectly blending pessimism with humor and optimism with a divine touch."

"..." Ling Gong was silent for a few seconds, "Huh?"

"Okay, to put it simply, it's a collection of hellish jokes."