I turned reality into a romantic comedy

I Turn Reality into a Romantic Comedy (by Yingning)

When an era is romanticized, it means it has completely passed.

For Chen Junqian, who has been struggling for several years but is still a mediocre children's literature writer, compared to traveling to a two-dimensional world that is said to be beautiful but has never been encountered before and therefore has no sense of reality, he would still choose to be reborn back to his familiar yet unfamiliar childhood.

But as a condition, all he needs to do is to create the best romantic comedy in this most realistic and boring world starting from 2009.

If you don’t have a childhood sweetheart with full favorability, then you can create one in the future that suits you best.

If there is no gentle and considerate big sister next door, then try to hold the love tied to the Internet tightly in your hands offline.

After being forced to become the hero of a romantic comedy, all he has to do is to catch up with the fate that he missed in his previous life because he didn't pay attention to it.

If there are no events, create them; if there are no stories, make them happen.

A book that absolutely cannot serve as a guide to Millennium Reborn, but I promise it will be one of the best time machines.

The goal is to cultivate the best childhood sweetheart.

Chapter 1: This is definitely not the set of a romantic comedy.

"Um... Could you please say it again? From the beginning."

"Haven't you ever fantasized about being the male protagonist in a romantic comedy, with busy parents, a younger sister, and a house—"

"Okay, let's stop here."

Chen Junqian calmly attempted to negotiate with a certain system in front of him:

"First, we need to determine what kind of romantic comedy you're referring to?"

"Of course, it refers to spending wonderful school life with all kinds of beautiful girls, interspersed with a series of additional DLCs such as cultural festivals, school festivals, sports festivals, open days, school trips, and fireworks festivals. In the midst of the endless chaos and extraordinary events, you gradually build bonds with everyone and finally achieve a happy ending for everyone."

"This sounds totally Japanese! I don't remember my old school having any of this stuff. And... shouldn't this be called 'anime/manga'?"

"That's why we need to send the host to that kind of world."

Seemingly aware of the unusual nature of the man before her, after a moment's thought, the orb of light began a new round of temptation:

"Haven't you thought about starting a new life, host? You should have nothing left to hold you back in this world."

"So if I really had to choose, I would definitely choose to be reborn and go back to the past so that my parents could avoid accidents and live to be a hundred years old. Why would I travel to another world and call a different couple my parents?"

"Well, if the host really cares about this, we can actually change your parents' settings from both being busy to both being dead, just like now."

"What do I care if they live or die? So if you can let me travel through time, you can definitely let me be reborn too. Hurry up, but don't do it too early. I'm not planning to start from infancy. Elementary school should be about right."

"But the place I'm sending the host to is the set of a romantic comedy. Doesn't the host want to be like those protagonists, with a sister who climbs into bed every morning, straddles you, wakes you up, is good at all housework, always says 'Oh dear brother, what will you do without me?', and deliberately asserts her dominance over other girls who approach you, showing that you are each other's only family?"

Chen Junqian simply shook his head, revealing a vigilant expression that warned against telecom fraud and discouraged him from believing or spreading rumors.

"Although I am an only child, I am not so far from having such unrealistic fantasies. Moreover, I had already deeply experienced the fact that my sister is a troublesome creature when I was nine years old."

"Nine years old?"

"Yes, because another boy who has a biological sister, or even a twin sister, once told me:"

'There aren't many boys in the world as unlucky as me. If I didn't have a younger sister born on the same day, month, and year; if she weren't the kind of girl who's mediocre and spoiled—or, to put it another way, if she didn't go to our school—I could save a lot of brain cells and maybe even excel and become famous. Unfortunately, these are all just fantasies. Because of this spoiled sister in the same school and grade, I've been surrounded by a series of troubles.'

He even dreamed of one day organizing all the boys who were affected by their sisters into a "Troubled Brothers Association."

"...Who is this friend of yours?"

"Jia Li, haven't you read 'Jia Li the Boy'? It's a classic work by Teacher Qin Wenjun. Speaking of which, when we were kids, the children's literature authors would prepare different stories for boys and girls, such as 'Jia Li the Boy' and 'Jia Mei the Girl,' as well as Teacher Yang Hongying's 'Boy's Diary' and 'Girl's Diary,' and Teacher Zheng Yuanjie's 'Pipilu Series' and 'Luxixi Series.' Thinking about it now, it's really cool. By the way, Teacher Zheng likes to use 'special,' and I'm learning from him recently. Also, he doesn't like to use punctuation marks to form long and complicated sentences like this, but you can get used to it after a while."

Looking at Chen Junqian, who suddenly started talking at length about children's literature in front of him, the light sphere remained silent for a while. Then it glanced at the other party's information and realized that before it brought him in, he really was a professional in this field, but he was just a marginal author who couldn't even be called a third-rate writer.

However, that's not so bad. The problem is that, based on our brief contact, the other party seems to have almost zero knowledge of anime and manga, which is quite a headache.

"So, you really don't want a sister who is beautiful, loves her brother, and can switch between two different personalities—sometimes gentle and sweet, sometimes assertive—but who truly loves you?"

"Solanum nigrum?"

"...Who is Longkui?"

Silence fell again.

"Okay, let's not talk about the younger sister for now. After all, the world of romantic comedies isn't just about younger sisters. There's also the childhood friend, the 'Yamato Nadeshiko,' the tsundere disciplinary committee member with huge breasts, the beautiful nurse in the infirmary, and the cute junior who founded a weird club and dragged you in as a ghost member..."

"Um, just a minute, can I ask you one question at a time?"

"...You ask."

"What is childhood friend? What is a Yamato Nadeshiko? We also need to explain the disciplinary committee member, the school nurse, the eccentric club, and the ghost member. And speaking of which, can we speak Chinese?"

"Hoo—the character for 'yo-san-ran' is actually the same as the kanji for 'yo-san-ran'. If translated, it should be 'childhood sweethearts'."

"Ah, I know this. It should be from Li Bai's 'My love rode a bamboo horse and played with green plums around the bed.' Isn't that a childhood friend? I had one like that when I was a kid, but we lost touch after I moved."

"But if we meet again, we'll become childhood friends, which is a cute thing. And according to God's definition, the strongest childhood friends have to go through this process, which is what TOYOTA is all about!"

First of all, T (Tonari) (next door) is the most basic premise, the most fundamental of all!

Then there's O (Onichan/Otouto) (older brother/younger brother), which must be a long-term relationship that is more than romantic but not quite romantic, involving an older or younger brother.

Next is Y (Yakusoku) (promise), which is a foreshadowing of the ending!

Then there's the most important one: O (Omoide) (memory), which involves constructing memories and forgetting everything within those memories...

Now it's TA's (Tachiba's) (position) turn! To achieve a reunion with a completely different position than before!

This time, the system became the one talking non-stop, and Chen Junqian could only reach out his hand again in response:

“Let’s speak Chinese.”

However, after this back and forth, both sides had figured out some of each other's secrets, and then it was another round of talking past each other.

"The disciplinary committee member is..."

"The kind where they check at the entrance to see if anyone is wearing a red scarf and if they come in during eye exercises to walk around and give a score?"

"The infirmary is..."

"I think there was a counseling room in the elementary school, but it was never open. I never saw a counselor until I graduated."

"Clubs and ghost members are..."

"I heard about this from my roommates in other places after I went to college. They had broadcasting clubs, robotics clubs, programming clubs, campus magazine clubs, and various sports clubs in their junior and senior high schools. They even explained to me that in Japan, clubs are not clubs but activities. Clubs are a proper Chinese word. But in my whole county, there isn't even a children's palace. I've only seen it in math problems."

"Approaching me under the guise of inspecting clubs, the student council president who only smiles at me is a nobody? I've never seen a student council before, and what does 'nothing' even mean? No production date, no quality certificate, no manufacturer? There were plenty of no-product spicy snacks at the corner store when I was in elementary school."

"When I was visiting the shrine, my neighbor, who was dressed as a shrine maiden, tapped me on the head with a fortune slip and said, 'Your love luck is still zero this year.' There is a dilapidated temple on the hill in our area, but my neighbor doesn't have a sister, and a sister wouldn't become a nun."

"A mixed-race blonde international student? Does being mixed with Han and ethnic minorities count? We have a She ethnic township in my area, and I think there's also a Tujia ethnic township. Do you think I could make my first fortune by selling Tujia-style savory pancakes if I were reborn and went back in time? That suddenly became a hit when I was in elementary school."

"An idol trainee junior? Does winning a place in the campus top ten singers competition count as an idol? But my hometown really did invite Jay Chou to hold a concert."

"Would I run into the JK I protected from Chi Han while commuting by tram? What's JK? JK Rowling? Besides, we took the bus to school. By the way, I loved to grab the front seat next to the driver when I was in elementary school."

"A cultural festival? Of course not."

"Sports Festival? Does the sports meet count?"

"A beautiful female homeroom teacher? All the teachers I've met since I was a child are middle-aged or elderly men with bald heads, and they all have very heavy accents. They definitely wouldn't pass the teacher qualification exam now."

"But there are things that aren't worth remembering, and things that I don't want to change. So rather than traveling to the kind of world you described, I'd rather go back to the world I grew up in. At least then I should be able to write some serious fairy tales again, since I can't write anything now."

Faced with Chen Junqian, who remained stubbornly opinionated, the light sphere almost made a declaration to him through gritted teeth:

"Okay—I'll take you back."

"But the price is, I want you—"

"In that world that you find more interesting than the plots and characters I've described, but which I find utterly boring, I'll create the greatest romantic comedy, if you agree..."

"Um, so what exactly is your definition of a romantic comedy? I've read web novels, after all. If I were really reborn, I'd definitely seize the opportunities of the times and build a business empire... Speaking of which, is it too late for me to search for rebirth guides online again? How do you buy Bitcoin? Who upset whom in the 14 World Cup? Who were the most popular web novelists back then..."

Before Chen Junqian could finish reciting, his consciousness vanished into a blank state in the next second.

When he opened his eyes again, having chosen rebirth instead of time travel, time had been reversed back to 2009.

That year, he was in the fourth grade of elementary school.

Among the numerous works by authors from Cao Wenxuan to Qin Wenjun, from Ge Bing and Zhou Rui to Shen Shixi and Zheng Yuanjie, and from Wu Meizhen and Yang Hongying to Sun Youjun and Zhang Zhilu, which sat on his desk before his rebirth, Chen Junqian suddenly recalled a sentence written by Leo Huanxiang on the title page of "Charlie IX":

This book is dedicated to my childhood, a happy time marked by a touch of regret.

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Ignoring the Chinese teacher who was telling the story of Edison saving his mother on the podium, Chen Junqian randomly picked a figure from the textbook in front of him with a sharpened pencil and began to manually add some decorations to his face and body. In no time, he transformed a Tang Dynasty poet into a Predator.

Although the process of sharpening pencils with a hand-cranked pencil sharpener can be incredibly satisfying, and the resulting pencils are sharp, beautiful, and very pleasing to the eye, the overly sharp tip actually feels quite awkward to use, and you probably have to wear it down a bit before it's easy to use.

More than two hours had passed since his rebirth, and Chen Junqian, now a fourth-grade elementary school student, gradually adapted to the fact. In particular, he felt quite good when he got rid of the glasses that had almost become an external organ in his previous life and could once again clearly see every name on the duty roster on the lower right edge of the blackboard from the last row of the classroom with his naked eyes.

"...I still don't think there's anything here that would make a romantic comedy appealing to teenagers."

"That's a given."

Chen Junqian continued to converse with the other person in his mind.

"Because this is the reality of Earth."

He drew his interpersonal relationship diagram on a blank notebook.

Grandparents, maternal grandparents, parents, and Chen Junqian alone.

The single-child family, a characteristic of our times, is currently characterized by six people supporting one child, which will eventually lead to six people supporting one child and one person caring for six people in their old age.

"Let me reiterate, I have absolutely no interest in any of those elements you mentioned that are related to romantic comedies."

Chen Junqian put crosses next to his name one by one.

She doesn't have a younger sister; after all, she's an only child.

There was no childhood sweetheart.

Perhaps there are still a few kids I play with now, but after I moved away two years later, all my past relationships were severed.

"It has nothing to do with age. It's always been like this from elementary school to university."

He had never met any classmates who were idols or actors, never met any senior students who seemed preoccupied, and never met any junior students he wanted to ask for advice. In fact, the terms "senior" and "junior" felt somewhat unfamiliar to him, since he rarely interacted with students outside his grade or class.

All the homeroom teachers from elementary to high school were middle-aged men, just like the Chinese teacher standing on the podium right now. They wore glasses and plaid shirts, with the hem deliberately tucked into their belts to cover their slightly protruding bellies. Their hairlines receded to varying degrees, and they spoke with a heavy local accent.

"I'm still glad you could grant my wish, but I don't think I can fulfill your request."

"After all, those romantic comedies you're talking about don't exist in reality."

Chen Junqian stretched as he heard the school bell ring for the end of get out of class.

The class monitor, who had spent the entire class sitting in the front row covered in chalk dust, stood up and shouted:

"Teachers, please take a break."

Unlike the lines in novels or movies, Chen Junqian always said "Teacher, take a break" instead of "Goodbye, teacher" when he was in elementary school.

So everyone stood up lazily, their touches on the tables and chairs making a wobbling sound.

"Teachers, please take a break."

"Students, take a break."

Since it was the last class of the day, the Chinese teacher gave one last reminder:

"Hurry home, be careful on the way, use crosswalks, don't look around, and remember to watch the traffic lights."

But before he could finish speaking, the elementary school students, who had packed their bags in advance, rushed out of the classroom chatting and laughing. They called to each other in the corridor, carrying their backpacks, and went downstairs to go home together, leaving only the student on duty today shouting hoarsely, "Put the chairs on the table before you leave—"

Chen Junqian recalled that when he was in college, he would pass by the gate of a nearby primary school. Back then, the students would walk out in neat rows, each with a leader holding a sign with their class name on it.

However, this model doesn't exist at all now. Everyone just rushes towards the gate in a swarm. Many parents are already waiting outside. Two security guards, whose combined age is over 100, are guarding both sides of the school gate. It seems like we can't really count on them if something really happens.

As Chen Junqian packed his schoolbag and walked downstairs alone with the crowded people, he suddenly remembered an accident that was supposed to happen six months later. However, he was immediately carried out of the teaching building by the crowd and suddenly found himself under a clear blue sky.

At that time, the concept of PM2.5 was not yet widely known, and weather forecasts did not include today's air quality index. However, Chen Junqian could not quite remember whether he could watch the weather forecast on his phone at that time; he watched CCTV at 7:30 pm.

Because they need to farm and sell vegetables, Chen Junqian's grandparents pay close attention to the daily weather. Since they live in a small county in southern Anhui, his grandmother told him to check the weather in Hefei and Hangzhou, as the weather here is roughly the same as in those two places.

There aren't many parents at this time because it's not yet their workday. So most of those picking up their children are elderly people, like grandparents. The majority of the crowd consists of caregivers from nearby after-school programs. They often hold two first or second graders' hands in one hand while having their older students from their tutoring classes bring over the other students from their program. They only leave after everyone is there.

This is also a product of various factors. The main function of these after-school care centers located near schools is to help parents take care of their children, provide lunch and even dinner, and give children a place to stay during the time between school dismissal and parents getting off work, so that they can also do some homework.