I'm in Teresin, dedicated to playing badly

"Since those problems weren't her own, they most likely originated from people close to her."

"Although it sounds a bit boastful, I have to say that not everyone can spot all sorts of problems with a horse as quickly as I can."

"Especially among the many questions that the child asked, there were quite a few that were rather secretive. If you don't truly care about others and try to understand them, even a seasoned trainer would find it difficult to notice those questions."

"So I think that maybe that child may seem a bit mean and irritable at times, but deep down, she is probably still a good child."

Hearing Shinji Kitahara say this, Rudolf slowly raised his head, and a glimmer of light appeared in his eyes.

Kitahara trainer...

However, just seconds after Rudolf looked up, Shinji Kitahara spoke again, adding to the story.

"Oh, right, except for yelling at one's own mother, that really goes too far."

Upon hearing this, Rudolf's expression froze, and the smile that was about to appear on his face was suppressed again.

After a moment of silence, Rudolf spoke again.

"and after?"

"later?"

Shinji Kitahara thought for a moment.

"After that, I kept in touch with the child through that old man, wandering around and giving him advice, and this continued for several years..."

"There's not much to say during this time; it's basically the same as what I just mentioned. The child comes to me with questions, and I answer them and offer solutions when I have time, trying to see if I can help her..."

"The only thing worth mentioning is that later, after I got to know that child a little better, I found that her trainer seemed to be very irresponsible and basically didn't care about her at all, which made me a little angry at the time..."

"Is it because we've increased your workload?" Rudolf asked.

"I don't deny that this is part of the reason."

After a pause, Shinji Kitahara sighed.

"But more than anything, I'm probably angry on behalf of that child."

"Although we've never met, from the questions she asked me and the things she said, I could tell she's a very hardworking and ambitious girl. I could feel her significant progress in every aspect, but she ended up with such an irresponsible trainer who seemed to do nothing at all..."

"...Do you care about her a lot?"

"nonsense."

Shinji Kitahara didn't stand on ceremony and spoke directly.

"That girl was the first horse I trained. Although it was just guidance, the close guidance lasted for several years. It wouldn't be an exaggeration to say that I was half her trainer. How could I not care?"

"...Didn't you ever think about going to see her?"

"To be honest, I have thought about it."

Shinji Kitahara leaned back and looked out the window.

"But after thinking about it, I decided against it. After all, although the senior didn't say it, I could guess that the child I was in charge of guiding was probably a young lady from a prominent family, while I was still wandering around with Eclipse, struggling to even have enough to eat."

"Besides, I was only responsible for providing guidance. They also have their own trainers. They might be a bit irresponsible, but that's their own choice. And I didn't personally witness any irresponsibility from that trainer. Maybe there's something going on..."

After a pause, Shinji Kitahara added another sentence.

"Moreover, and most importantly, that child doesn't seem to like me, so there's no need to embarrass myself."

Rudolf's body stiffened.

To be honest, this is not Rudolph's fault.

After all, she had always thought that the person in charge of guiding her was a think tank composed of trainers gathered by the Symbol family, and that the person specifically responsible for relaying the information was the old woman, Speed ​​Symbol. It was normal for her to show some disgust.

"......Feel sorry."

Rudolf spoke instinctively.

Shinji Kitahara thought she apologized because it brought up painful memories of his past, and waved his hand.

"It's alright, it's been a long time, and I've long since let it go. After all, it's impossible for everyone to like me. Besides, when I was instructing her, I was indeed quite demanding in some areas, so it's normal for her to dislike me..."

"No, that's a misunderstanding—" Rudolf blurted out instinctively.

"Misunderstand?"

Shinji Kitahara looked at Rudolf with a puzzled expression.

"What misunderstanding?"

Faced with Shinji Kitahara's question, Rudolf realized he had spoken out of turn, but he did not panic. After calming down for a few seconds, he spoke again.

"What I mean is, you might have misunderstood that child. She might not dislike you at all, like that arrogant guy who's been all the rage lately..."

"Proud?"

"......right."

Although he felt a little ashamed to say it like that, Rudolf was going to great lengths to make up for it.

After a pause, seeing the thoughtful look on Kitahara Shinji's face, Rudolf decided to press his advantage and continue asking questions.

"If you had known back then that the child didn't actually dislike you and had invited you to meet her, would you have gone?"

"Should I?"

Shinji Kitahara said uncertainly.

"After all, it didn't happen, so I can't say for sure. But if that child really didn't dislike me back then, considering I'd been mentoring him for a long time, I'd probably go check on him if I had the chance..."

If only she had realized sooner that it wasn't a team, if only that old woman had told her the truth sooner, if only she hadn't thrown a tantrum, or even just shown less resistance...

Maybe everything will change.

But there are no "what ifs" in life.

No matter how much Rudolf regrets it now, it's all already happened.

Fortunately, unlike other horse girls who were filled with regret for the rest of their lives, she still has a chance to make amends.

And now this opportunity is right around the corner, within easy reach.

Taking a deep breath to suppress the surging emotions within him, Rudolf tried his best to maintain a calm demeanor and slowly began to speak.

"So, Kitahara trainer, what's your opinion of that child now?"

"Now?"

Shinji Kitahara thought for a moment, and then gave an answer that Rudolf would never have thought of.

"Perhaps he felt some guilt."

"...Guilt?"

Rudolf looked at him in surprise.

"why?"

"How should I put it..."

Shinji Kitahara thought for a moment.

"Well, you just heard it too, right? Back then, I didn't know anything about being a trainer. I learned everything on the spot, so I took a lot of detours and made a lot of mistakes at the beginning..."

“Normally, trainers at my stage would have had someone to guide them, but I didn’t, so I had to figure things out through trial and error, and the consequences of all the mistakes I made were ultimately borne by the child who was actually carrying them out…”

"My current abilities and achievements are largely due to the foundation laid by her."

"To put it nicely, it's about us growing and improving together; to put it bluntly, it's about me using her as an experiment. If I met her now, I could definitely do even better..."

"Although I wasn't able to give her any particularly good guidance, perhaps because of her own hard work, I later heard from senior colleagues that the child ultimately achieved quite good results, so it can be said that I didn't hold her back..."

Is that a pretty good result...?

Listening to the words in his ear and looking at the man in front of him, Rudolf was slightly distracted.

If she had encountered the current Shinji Kitahara back then, or if she had just started competing, then...

Forget it.

Gathering his thoughts and ceasing to dwell on the impossible, Rudolf focused on reality, looking at the man before him with a complex expression.

"Trainer Kitahara, if someone told you right now that the child doesn't actually dislike you at all, would you go to her?"

silence.

Then he shook his head.

"will not."

Shinji Kitahara answered very decisively.

Whether it was a misunderstanding or not, the past is the past.

Looking up at the rising moon outside the window, Shinji Kitahara let out a long breath and then revealed a genuine smile.

"Moreover, I later inquired with that senior, and she said she is doing very well now."

"That's enough for me."

Chapter 242: Eclipse

The student council room fell silent.

Rudolf didn't know how to describe his current feelings.

Happy? Sad? Relieved? Regretful?

It seems like it has everything, yet it also seems like none of them are suitable.

Throughout this whole incident, no one made any unforgivable mistakes.

Needless to say, Shinji Kitahara never tried to gain anything from Rudolf from beginning to end. He devoted himself to guiding Rudolf until the very last moment, and finally left the stage in disappointment.

Although Rudolf showed some resistance, it was just a misunderstanding, and he never did anything particularly outrageous. In fact, compared to the other members of the Symbol family, her attitude towards him at the time could even be described as gentle.

Even the symbol of speed, though initially intended for amusement, was something no one could have imagined Kitahara Shinji would grow so quickly. The subsequent concealment was simply due to his status as the head of the family, who needed to be responsible for the family's interests.

Furthermore, after confirming that Shinji Kitahara indeed possessed the ability to serve as a trainer, she even gave Rudolph a chance, proactively asking her if she wanted to meet with the person who was guiding her.

The original intention behind Speed ​​Symbol was that the two seemed to be compatible in training, and perhaps after meeting, Rudolf would agree to let Kitahara Shinji be her trainer. However, Rudolf refused at the time.

A little less misunderstanding, a little less rejection, a little less resistance, or even just a nod, could completely change the course of the story.

Unfortunately, even though they were separated by only a piece of paper countless times, for their own reasons, neither of them turned back, and they just passed each other by.

If Rudolph felt more ashamed and shocked after hearing the story of the speed symbol, and only considered Kitahara Shinji as someone who had once been his trainer, and thus felt a slight possessiveness towards him...

After listening to Shinji Kitahara's perspective, she felt a sense of emptiness.

It was as if there had been something very important there, but it had disappeared without her even noticing.

She was clearly the first horse girl that Kitahara Shinji was responsible for, and he grew up with her. Even until the very end, he still cared about her.

But now, she is right in front of him, seemingly within reach, yet also seemingly thousands of miles away.

Should we reveal our identities now?

Rudolf looked at the man in front of him, his eyes gradually hardening.

No, absolutely not.

Before coming, she deliberately chose this time because she wanted to take advantage of the fact that no one in the student council was around to be honest with Kitahara Shinji about everything, and if there was a chance, to discuss how to deal with the matter with the Tokai Emperor.

But now, after hearing Shinji Kitahara's account, Rudolf changed his mind.

She couldn't confess now, because in the current situation, if her identity were exposed, those past events might slightly bring her and Shinji Kitahara closer together.

However, in other aspects, it can become an obstacle, and a very big one at that.

She didn't want anything to close the distance.

Or rather, it's not just about wanting these things.

After thinking for a long time, Rudolf let out a long breath, looked at the man in front of him, and suppressed the surging impulses in his heart.

No, now is not the time. There's still a chance to mend things, but if we do that now, we'll truly lose him...

"Trainer Kitahara, I'm sorry we talked about things that made you unhappy. Let's get back to business..."

See, he said there's nothing interesting to talk about with this kind of topic, right?