Real teaching, but diary flow

However, the moment the words were spoken, the turning point, the "but," arrived instantly:

"But I'm sorry, I can't easily accept sharing someone I like with others in a harmonious and friendly way."

The feelings are real, the liking is real, and the confession is real.

But similarly, possessiveness is also real.

Gently freeing her grip, Shiina Hiyori stood up and bent slightly at the waist.

This was the first and only rejection card that Toru Asakusa had ever received.

"Why—I don't think I need to ask that, do I?"

Somewhat unexpected, but more than anything, Asakusa Tetsu was not surprised.

That's why he likes Hiyori, that's why Hiyori rejects him at this moment, and that's why he feels it's expected.

Rather, it would be less like Hiyori if she didn't refuse.

The balance between emotion and reason, the intersection of emotion and morality.

Yes, I do like Hiyori Shiina.

Once again, Asakusa Tetsu thought this.

"Mm." Shiina Hiyori nodded gently and sat back down.

Although she refused, she did not choose to leave decisively. Instead, she sat down and turned to look at the drama that was still unfolding in front of her, but which seemed to be less attractive than the drama in the audience.

"If you can, you should ask me more questions; it might make me feel much better," Shiina Hiyori said softly.

If it's simply a matter of answering the question 'why,' the reasons she gave when she refused should be sufficient to explain it.

But he still went through the trouble of asking the same question again.

It was clearly not because he couldn't understand her.

Rather, he could tell that she needed a pretext to start a conversation.

It's not easy to reject someone's confession, no matter how many reasons you have, it's ultimately no match for that one word: 'I like you'.

Who told me to like it? Because I just like it, I ...—

After the emotions that welled up in my heart subsided, what I still had to consider was reality.

"why?"

He asked.

So she spoke up.

"Does Asakusa-kun know?" she asked first, then answered to herself, "Asakusa-kun should know."

"I'm in the tea ceremony club. Although I like novels, the club I joined is the tea ceremony club."

Learn etiquette, receive guidance on using props, be gentle and refined, graceful and quiet, and embody harmony, respect, purity, and tranquility.

Harmony, respect, tranquility, and silence.

Purify your mind and practice moderation in desires.

The tea ceremony sounds wonderful.

When it comes to the tea ceremony, many things come to mind, but the most common one is probably the term "lady of a prominent family".

The primary purpose of most women learning tea ceremony is clearly not out of love for it, but rather to 'increase their social standing'.

Learn the art of tea, learn etiquette, be polite, elegant, and poised.

She meets the required standards, and then she gets married.

If one wishes to cultivate an elegant taste, tea ceremony is clearly a very convenient option in addition to calligraphy and painting.

Anyone can tell the quality of a person's writing without talent, but the standards of tea ceremony etiquette obviously vary from person to person.

Of course, this might be a bit extreme. After all, with the development of the times, the so-called tea ceremony can only be considered a 'hobby' in modern times.

“It’s not that there’s anything wrong with the tea ceremony.” Shiina Hiyori paused slightly and said softly, “Now that things have come to this, I no longer have any feelings of liking or disliking the tea ceremony.”

"It's just that, surprisingly, I'm actually quite conservative."

Her hands were quietly placed on her lap, her fair fingers interlaced, and the back-and-forth movements clearly revealed the turmoil in the girl's heart.

"I like the outrageous and exciting parts of mystery novels. It's a personal preference of mine. I like the uncertainty and unknown in the stories, the mysterious future, and the sequel," she said. "But only within the story itself."

"If I were to be the protagonist of a story, I think it wouldn't be a very interesting one."

When her name first appeared in her diary, Hiyori Shiina was filled with novelty and anticipation.

What would it be like if I became a part of the story?

As readers, we must all have this kind of curiosity.

So she was always waiting for him to write about himself.

But the moment he actually wrote it down, his curiosity and anticipation vanished instantly. The moment the words touched reality, she suddenly donned a chainmail of thorns.

Don't offer unsolicited comments, don't push things around, and don't interfere with my feelings.

The girl quickly realized that she wasn't the free-spirited type.

She is very conservative.

So conservative that they might only accept one person for life, so conservative that they might not be able to imagine escaping their current life and no longer spending their days in the library with books in their hands, so conservative that even if their heart is full of joy, they still bite their lower lip and shake their head to reject the confession of the person they love.

Hiyori Shiina is a conservative.

The conservatives who expect to remain forever, never making any progress.

“So, I’m sorry.” Shiina Hiyori apologized again, lowering her head slightly and looking through Asakusa Toru to Ichinose Honami, who was sitting quietly on the other side: “I can’t be Ichinose Honami.”

Honami Ichinose is really amazing.

She had thought about this before.

Not only can she casually stay by the side of someone she likes and easily integrate into their life, but she is also adept at other aspects of social interaction, winning the affection of everyone in the class.

The most powerful moment is indeed now.

When the person she likes takes her along and confesses his love to another woman right in front of her, she remains unfazed even as such a thing happens before her eyes.

I can not do it.

Toru Asakusa: "......"

Will it become a regret?

The girl's heart swayed in the wind.

...As expected, it turned out this way.

What I think in my heart, what I say on my lips, what I care about.

I knew it would turn out this way, which is why I decided to make things clear.

I don't seem to expect this outcome, because it would push Hiyori away from me.

But what is my true intention? What do I hope for right now? What do I want to achieve?

What Asakusa Tetsu has always pursued is perfection.

Regretfully we stopped, and we regretfully went against the tide.

If money can make up for or salvage something, then money should be used to resolve it.

Money can't solve this.

...And what will we rely on then?

Let me look through my hand. What do I have?

A diary of infinite possibilities, but the possibility and expectation should be regarded as non-existent the moment they fail to be fulfilled.

With superhuman physical abilities, it is well-suited for time management.

A naturally beautiful face can increase others' initial goodwill towards you.

Some miscellaneous props are useless for expressing emotions.

A special item that needs to be ignored.

Asakusa Toru is very casual about many things, but he takes matters of the heart very seriously.

So none of these things are useful.

Her hand was empty, and what she had to face was what Shiina Hiyori was worried about...

Perspectives? Vision? Friends? Family?

As a fellow reader, Asakusa Tetsu knew very well that the girl's views were not rigid or stubborn, and the more immersed a reader was in reading, the less likely they were to be bound by conventional ideas.

Words are free.

Needless to say, she has become a regular NPC in the library since the start of the semester, and there are definitely quite a few people who look at her strangely. The farce on the deck just now also showed that the girl doesn't care about other people's gazes.

Friends? A friend's words, a friend's thoughts, a friend's attitude.

These will only be influencing factors, not determining factors.

The girl was not someone who would be easily swayed by others.

......family.

That's a word that's far enough away for him.

Hiyori's father was a mystery novelist, one of many almost unknown writers, but he did write a few interesting stories.

To some extent, it was the beginning of my interest in reading Japanese.

At least on this point, Asakusa Toru had some understanding of his father-in-law.

However, it seems that nothing about Hiyori's mother was mentioned.

He didn't ask the person involved about their plans, but he thought that their parents and family members were unlikely to be an obstacle.

She is by no means a defective product of growing up in the wrong family.

so......

As expected, in the end, what remained was the line of one's own psychology.

If you can get through it, then it's over; if you can't, then it may never be over.

Maybe one day you'll suddenly understand when the wind is blowing.

Or perhaps you toss and turn at night, thinking about it but still unable to let go.

Forcing it is pointless.

Missing out will inevitably become a regret.

"Thinking that you can be carefree as long as you become someone else is a form of arrogance."

Asakusa Tetsu seemed to have reached a dead end, but Ichinose Honami, who had been listening quietly all along, finally spoke up.

“A person cannot become someone else.” Ichinose Honami said softly, “Shiina Hiyori cannot become Ichinose Honami, and Ichinose Honami does not think she can become Shiina Hiyori.”

"The only thing that limits you is yourself."

“However, perhaps I should thank you.” Honami Ichinose smiled. “Thank you for choosing to give up.”

Hiyori Shiina: "......"

"......You're welcome."

Although it was my own decision and my own words.

But when she actually heard Honami Ichinose thank her like that... she suddenly felt extremely sad.

“It’s hard to express your feelings.” Honami Ichinose stood up slightly, but instead of turning around, she took a few steps forward and leaned into the seat in front of her. “It’s even harder to express your feelings and then refuse.”

“I can’t let go of it, I can’t do it. On the contrary, I admire you quite a bit in this respect.”

"If I may, I'd like to give you a suggestion."

Only after saying this did she turn around and meet Shiina Hiyori's eyes.

"If you don't want to regret it later, at least try to have it for a moment."