I am the emotional sustenance of your deceased

……

"It's our turn soon. I guess I won't be nervous now that I'm used to it."

"Ah? Are you serious? If you're not nervous, why are you shaking so much?"

The teammates were noisy and noisy. Kaname kept Chitose in her arms the whole time. Her daughter was cuter and more obedient than a cat, and she was completely reluctant to let them go.

"Yao-chan! Someone's looking for you outside. They say they have something for you."

"Hmm? Okay, help me look after the baby."

"Hey, then I won't be polite."

I hope you, a bunch of weird aunts, don’t scare Xiao Sui.

Lenai reluctantly left the backstage and headed towards the back door. When her teammates told her a few seconds ago that someone was looking for her, the first thing she thought of was that the director of the welfare home came to ask her for her child.

Shaking her head to get rid of all the messy thoughts, Le Nai found that even though her soul was resisting, she still poured her thoughts about Sister Chitose and Little Sui into Sui.

[Perhaps from the very beginning, I was destined to not be able to see you with a completely new perspective...my dear daughter.]

"I'm really too bad. People like me... should be called bad women."

"Le Na, good luck on your performance," Le Na arrived at the back door not far away and saw her grandmother, Tsuzuki Shisen.

"Grandma? Why are you here?"

Twenty-two-year-old Le Na went up and hugged Tsuzuki Shisen. In recent years, her old lady has been traveling abroad, and Le Na has not seen her since February this year.

"The director of this exhibition hall is an old friend of mine. When I visited her today, she happened to talk about your band's performance, so I went around to the back door to see you," Tsuzuki Shifune smiled, but there were not many wrinkles on his face.

"Grandma, what do you want to give Lenai?" Lenai tilted her head and looked around but saw nothing.

Only with her grandma can she put her mind at ease and be a lively and cheerful little girl.

But is he really lively and cheerful?

"Oh, it's a booklet," Tsuzuki Shifune, remembering this, kicked the door shut and rummaged through her bag. "Yes, I found it. I found it when I was tidying up your bedroom in the old house. I think I should return it to you. After all, you just like to leave things everywhere, and you'll hide and get sad when you can't find them yourself."

"Hmm, no...I guess so."

Lenai denied it coquettishly, but her expression froze the moment she took a look at the "booklet" that her grandmother had sent her.

That was the guitar technique written down by Chitose Noshiro. After Chitose passed away, I learned some guitar skills based on it.

It's something I couldn't find before college. I didn't expect my grandma to find it.

"Thank you, grandma." Lenai flipped through a few pages and didn't want to read any further. "Really... if only reality could be avoided."

It’s not that grandma’s act of sending things was a bad thing, I just really wanted to get away with it all.

No matter who passed away, no matter what was lost... and the numbness of music.

It would be nice to escape all this.

"Well, but reality won't just disappear on its own."

Tsuzuki Shifune rubbed Kaname Rakuna's head, with no concealment of the relief and heartache in his eyes.

"Our little Lenai has grown up too."

Ch404. This is Lenai's unique escape

Reality won’t just disappear on its own.

Tsuzuki Poetry Ship said so.

Le Nai's pupils lit up when he heard this, and he blurted out subconsciously:

“So, what are the solutions to real problems?”

"You're asking about solutions to real-world problems? Music-related ones?"

"Yes, it is."

Tsuzuki Shifune put his hands on his hips. He never expected that an elderly person of his age could be so energetic.

"Well, there's only one way, and that's to play better and shine more brightly on the stage."

"Grandma, you're right," Yao Lenai's heart suddenly became flustered again, "But I can't do anything you said."

"Hey! Hey hey! What's wrong with little Lena? You're so unconfident," Tsuzuki Shifune hugged Lena in his arms, but he didn't expect that his granddaughter's mentality seemed to be wrong.

[As expected, let's see if this kid's idea is right, Lenai...]

"Uh... because I haven't been feeling well lately. Um, I don't feel motivated."

"Is that so? Forget it. There's no point in trying to teach you a lesson by preaching some moral principles. You've always been a child who can't listen to long lectures."

Lenai glanced at the time and saw that there were still three minutes before the show started.

There's still plenty of time! Don't panic, be happy.

"That's right, I can't listen."

"Then I'll tell you something you're very familiar with."

Tsuzuki Shifune pinched his chin and put the sunglasses on his forehead into his pocket.

"I'll use Noshiro Chitose as an example so you can understand."

"Ah! Good..."

Can you represent Chitose? Then I can understand it.

"First of all, I can say with certainty that Chitose Noshiro definitely possesses strong gifts and talents. No one can deny this."

"Ah."

In a trance, I recalled Qiansui's face, it was really dreamy.

"It's undoubtedly a talent for an instrument, and a talent specifically for an instrument like the guitar."

"I can say I've watched her grow up, from when she was little, in high school, every time she performed on stage," Tsuzuki Shifune's tone was tinged with nostalgia.

“Whether performing in a small exhibition hall or on a large stage, her music is always so perfect that people marvel at it.”

"However, once you debut as a professional musician, things are different. Once you graduate from university and enter a higher level of music, you'll find high-level musicians everywhere."

"Lena, you feel it too, right?"

"Ah."

There were still two and a half minutes until the show started, but Lenai had already taken in what her grandmother had said.

"Each of them can come and teach you or Chitose a lesson."

"Then, it was the most crucial performance of their band, the performance at SPACE at the end of March when she was 22 years old—"

"She and her band failed."

Sure enough, it was that thing.

Lenai clenched her hands tightly, then reluctantly let go.

"Since then, Chitose Noshiro has been forced to face her own reality."

"..."

Reality is so cruel.

Tsuzuki Shifune did not stop narrating after seeing his granddaughter's reaction, but instead changed the subject:

"I've also experienced this reality, and you, my granddaughter, are also experiencing this reality. Do you understand your sister Qiansui's thoughts and worries now?"

[Yes, I understood it a long time ago. I got the gist of it at that performance when I was fourteen, at SPACE’s funeral.]

There is always the reality that after trying your best to turn the tide, you will fail in the end due to various reasons.

There will always be someone who plays better than her, so the world's attention will not be drawn to her.

The reality of the passing of seniors like Chitose Noshiro, the death of friends like Chitose Haizuka, the reality that the professional music world is no longer as dazzling as it was on a university campus, the reality of playing alone...

"Yes, I am accepting reality too, Lenai."

Tsuzuki Shifun spread her hands nonchalantly, as if the subject of her narration was not herself:

"We all face countless realities in the same way."

"I've accepted the reality of getting older by the second, and I've long since accepted the fact that I'm too old to play the guitar."

"grandmother…"

Grandma, you’re old too.

Lena stepped forward and took Tsuzuki Shifune's arm. The latter, wanting to reassure the former, began to gently pat the back of her hand:

"I can't count how many people have told me to give up the concert hall and the guitar. You are so old, and I feel incredible... You can feel it too-"

"In this world, there are so many [realities] that we cannot overcome."

"But, what's even more incredible is," Tsuzuki Shifune said with unconcealable excitement, "I've always believed, until I'm completely old, that I can still perform well and that I can run SPACE for a few more years."

"Do you know why?"

"do not know."

"Because, reality can really be avoided."

Kaname took a last look at the time and saw only one minute left!

Go on, listen up.

Just keep listening, you will definitely be inspired!

"A mere [reality] cannot catch up with your Chitose sister and my will!"

"If it's unrealistic for me to be forever young, then I'll just do my best to avoid this reality."

Grandma was tall and majestic, and she gave Lenai all the answers she had thought of over the years.

“Escaping reality is what I expect of myself, and it’s proof that I haven’t given up on myself.”

“No matter how many values, revelations, truths, and beliefs are instilled in me, I will always identify with myself.”

She pointed at herself and also at Lenai:

"Your sister Chitose was like this before she was stricken by illness. This is our mission, our job."

"This is the meaning of our lives and the meaning of playing guitar."

At the end of the conversation, Tsuzuki Shifune wiped the sweat off Rakuna's face and said earnestly:

"Listen up, Lenai."

“As long as you know why you play guitar, you can escape from any truth.”

"Are you going to escape..."

Leave all realities behind?

"There's one minute left in the performance, let's go, Lenai."

Tsuzuki Shisen pushed Le Na and left on his own.

She has always been such a cool person.

"Ah."

When they parted, Lenai felt dazed and reached the sidelines just in time.

"Come on, Mom. Xiaosui will always be watching over you."

"Well... today's performance is dedicated to you... years old."

As long as you know why you play guitar, you can escape any truth!

Clenching his fists, Lenai felt that he already knew what he was going to play for!

【At least someone is watching me, right?】

So now! Go escape!

Just like the lyrics of "Escape"!