I, who advocate giving up, feel like a disqualified person

"Sheji...you..."

But you don't have to tear up right away when you see me awake... It's like I've suddenly come back to life. It's just so hard.

"Sorry for making you worry."

"...No." She hurriedly wiped away the tears from the corners of her eyes, "I knew you would be fine..." This behavior of pretending to be strong is undoubtedly a very cute point.

"Thanks to you, I can go to school tomorrow."

"...That's great." She touched her chest and breathed a sigh of relief. "When I rushed here yesterday...you hadn't woken up yet, and I was really worried. Your hands and feet were almost frostbitten...I was wondering what to do if something really went wrong..."

"...I'm really sorry for causing you trouble."

"...No need to apologize. I just feel... helpless... because I can't think of how to help you." She seemed to be organizing her words to express her inner thoughts, but it still seemed a little off.

"Yeah, I understand. I understand your desire to share my burden. Thank you very much..."

But the real path still needs to be walked by myself.

The sixth character. He had a well-proportioned figure, neat, short hair, and a look that didn't seem sad or upset. We were quite close, and despite the age difference, we were open about our conversations. This time was no exception.

"...Looks like he's still alive and well."

I don’t know if this sentence is auspicious.

"Thanks to you, Senior..." I said as I took a banana from the fruit basket. "Want one?"

"Keep it for yourself and eat it with red dates to replenish your blood." He casually rejected my offer and sat down on a chair that had been almost unoccupied in the previous scenes. "How are you? Are you feeling any trouble in your legs, feet, and limbs?"

"...Exactly like normal."

"That's good." He nodded with satisfaction. "By the way, your anemia is indeed because you lost too much blood when you blocked the knife for me, and you didn't bandage it properly."

Don't show that expression of solving a case.

"It's been almost half a year. If it was going to break out, it would have happened a long time ago... Stop guessing." I sighed softly, interrupting his speculation. "It's okay. I can go back to coaching the club tomorrow... Don't ask anyone from the club to come see me."

"I'm here on their behalf."

"Oh, that's great."...seemed a bit awkward.

"By the way, Yun Zi...quit the drama club." He was silent for a while, but still told me the news.

"...In that case...she must be..."

"Yes, she confessed to me. I told her...I've always been thinking about Hui. She's just my playmate since childhood, and I've never had any feelings for her."

"..."

Actually, what I wanted to say was "She must be unable to bear your nagging" as a joke...but I didn't expect him to blow himself up first.

"She recently cut her hair short, saying she wanted to say goodbye to the past and start anew... Are you listening?"

“...Such long hair! Cut it!?” Compared to senior sister Yun Zi who was unsuccessful in love, my first reaction was the long black hair that I didn’t dislike.

"Yeah...right."

He must have found my reaction very strange.

"Such beautiful long hair! It looks especially beautiful when it's blowing in the wind... It looks even better when tied into a ponytail... Did you cut it? Just a snap! Huh?! It got tangled in a snap!" I said while making a scissors-like gesture with my hands.

"Sheji... calm down..."

Seeing this, he hurried over to dissuade them.

"Calm down? I can't calm down! I can't calm down! Such long hair! (breaking voice) Is it easy to grow it? Huh? Easy! I have to grow it for years! And now, you cut it off whenever you want, you cut it off whenever you want - why - is it because of someone like you?! What's so good about you -"

Let’s be merciful and leave the content after this paragraph blank.

I was actually quite curious why these two guys were the seventh and eighth characters. Logically, I wasn't close to them, just a bit familiar—even so, they still politely sat by my bedside.

One is a man wearing glasses, looking calm and reliable, and the other is a girl with shoulder-length hair. There seems to be a constant curiosity in her eyes, and she is completely restless.

"...You probably can't finish that fruit basket?" "Hey, that's rude."

"It's okay, we're already so familiar with each other." I handed her one of the nearly piled-up fruit baskets. "Besides, I'd be worried about eating all of it. If you like it, you can take a few with you when you leave."

"Thank you so much~" "I just heard you were in the hospital... I feel a little guilty coming to visit you now."

"It's not your fault, so why should you feel guilty?"

"Of course, it's because Xiaoyu thinks it's more polite to say that." "Why can't you control your mouth when eating..."

"Ahaha, you two are really funny." If I could meet the right person, would my life be like this... "Are you dating now?"

"...Oh, that's about right." "Hey, hey, what are you doing..."

"What does it matter? The country is not an outsider—" "But I think it's better not to publicize this kind of thing."

It turns out that the two of them really got together... That's really cause for celebration. For two people with such personalities to be able to be together, they must have gone through a lot of ups and downs.

"Anyway, congratulations to both of you."

I couldn't help but applaud them. Is there anything more joyful than seeing the people around me finally find their own happiness?

"Oh, congratulations~" "What's the point of congratulations? I should say I wish you a speedy recovery."

"It's okay, it's okay. I've received too many blessings like this today. It's nice to hear something different occasionally."

"Don't worry, Sheji, you're not bad either. You'll definitely be able to find your other half soon." "Alright, stop talking... Sorry, we have other things to do, so we won't stay long."

"It's okay, you guys go and get busy~"

"Thank you for the fruit basket, Junior—" "Alright, you're not embarrassed enough."

They are two very interesting people. If I had the chance, I would really like to know how they ended up together.

The ninth and tenth characters. I wasn't surprised by their presence. Xiao Ye, who had appeared earlier, would definitely tell the ninth character about my ward—a girl who looked energetic, spoke and acted differently from everyone else, and was extremely well-dressed.

In contrast, the other girl next to her seemed much calmer. After placing the bouquet and gifts for me, she briefly greeted me and left the room, seemingly not intending to participate in our conversation.

"It seems like you're working really hard—" She seemed to have noticed something, "There must be something you can't let go of, right? Otherwise, you wouldn't do something like this."

"...I just fainted from anemia," I said superficially. But I knew there was no way I could hide it from her.

"That's the best proof! That thing is so important that you can ignore your body. You can spend so much energy thinking about it, pondering the answer or something like the ending - how cool, what is your life really like?" She didn't look like someone visiting the hospital at all, but I didn't dislike people like that. "I've always been curious, and now I'm even more curious."

"...There's nothing to be curious about. He's just someone who longs to be ordinary, but to others he appears strangely ordinary."

"Yeah, good story." She nodded.

"Do you really understand what I'm saying?" I can't even explain what I just said.

"Although I only have a partial understanding, it's enough." She quickly approached me in two steps, grabbing my right hand, which was still pierced with a needle. "You can really provide me with a lot of inspiration—"

"Wow~" Why don't you feel happy at all?

"Are you still confused?" She asked, staring intently into my eyes. "Although I'm not entirely sure what's going on with you, I have a feeling you're planning something big."

"...I'm just worried about the cultural exhibition." I smiled and brushed her question off. "After all, if something happens here, it might drag down a lot of people, so I have to be nervous too."

"...I see." She nodded. "Just don't push yourself too hard."

"What about you? How's it going with Jiumu?"

"...I don't know." Faced with my topic, she easily turned her attention away.

"...How could I not know?"

"Because I suddenly realized something...that there's no need for me to use feelings to bind her. My previous comments about liking her were just my narrow-minded selfishness at work."

"..."

"I really like her free-spirited personality," she said, laughing. "Isn't her pen name '朻九蝶'? She wants to fly like a butterfly, so naturally she won't be confined to one place."

"...Is that so?"

"That's right. But..." She suddenly smiled even brighter. "Butterflies are always attracted to beautiful flowers, right? As long as I can keep coming up with scripts that she'll want to create, she won't want to leave. So, I have to be... no, I must let her fly freely."

"...You will do it."

I don't know why, but I could clearly sense this, so I was able to convey this feeling to her unwaveringly.

"Well, I know."

She didn't offer any humble words, and I felt she didn't need to. Those words didn't suit her; she only spoke of things she was confident she could accomplish. Perhaps to someone who didn't know her, she seemed like a braggart, a braggart with no sense of self-importance. But I knew her, and I knew that if she set her mind to something, she would accomplish it.

"...Keep going." I hesitated a bit. "Once I'm done with this, I'll be determined to surpass you."

After hearing this, she was stunned at first, and then a smile appeared on her face again.

"Are you finally getting motivated? I like it—and honestly, you might be the only opponent I'd consider attractive. I've been waiting for you to say that for a long time." She said, waving at me. "But don't make me wait too long."

"Um...."

"Finally, I wish you a speedy recovery—" "Can't you choose a unique blessing?"

"...I hope you find a girlfriend soon?" "Okay, bye."

I'm actually not alone.

There are actually many people around me who have been paying attention to me.

"Can I go for a walk now?"

After removing the IV tube, I walked out of the ward little by little with steps that were not even steady.

Maybe I should really stop. After such a long journey, I should stop this journey that is destined to be fruitless.

Yet, my heart refused to disobey. There had to be another way—this thought persisted, and precisely because it persisted, I kept going.

"Where are you going?"

Just as I was about to step onto the steps, a voice suddenly came from behind me. It sounded concerned, yet also a bit angry. I knew why the voice belonged to me. It was because that person cared deeply about me.

"...I want to go up."

"...It's very cold outside." The man didn't intend to stop me. "Then I'll go with you. Put on this coat first."

"Thanks..."

I should say this to this person many times. Even from now on, until the end of my life, it wouldn't be too much. But now is not the time for such things, so I can't express the feelings that have already sprouted in my heart.

"As long as nothing happens to you again."

"....Um."

I didn't nod in confirmation.

Meeting each other inadvertently

In fact, the world will continue to function as usual no matter who is missing.

Whether it was the businessman who revolutionized mobile phone design, the scientist who studied the universe and time, the writer who made outstanding contributions to the creation of superheroes, or the literary giant who gave a generation the dream of martial arts: after they left this world one after another, people simply followed the earlier ones in expressing their condolences, and after a few days, the world returned to silence again.

Without inventors and the like, life would simply be less exciting than it is today, and it's impossible to say which great figure is more important. And arguing among people is pointless... I really don't want to figure out which tastes better, sweet or salty. So be it, let them be.

I simply gave up comparing these things and now I am lying on the soft pillows looking at the white ceiling.

He said he almost didn't see what he was seeing now, so the other self inside him must have been lying. His claim that he was fine was a complete miscalculation... In that freezing temperature, my legs nearly froze. He almost lost the ability to feel warmth again.

But I seem to have read in a book that people feel their whole body warm when they are on the verge of freezing to death - so to be more precise, if I were on the verge of death, I would still feel a burst of intense heat and then...

"Ah...what was I thinking."

It's really unlucky.

On the other hand, those personalities that had been talking to me since before might just be illusions that I created when I fell into a coma.

Regardless, the factors that had been holding me back from recalling the past have completely vanished. If the me before was divided into three parts: the one with childhood memories, the one with junior high school memories, and the one I am now, then the me now is as complete as it can be.

Things that I hadn't understood before due to my fragmented memory have now been completely solved. But faced with the overwhelming flood of memories, I don't know how to respond for a moment.

"..."

Did that really happen to me? It was like watching a movie. I reviewed the memories that didn't seem to be happening to me, and then I gradually began to believe that it wasn't just a dream.

Perhaps it would be easier to forget the past. But I'm unwilling to abandon the past in search of a stable future. As a person, I must face up to the things that happened because of me.

Chapter 1: Meeting by chance

"...What's wrong with me?"