I, who advocate giving up, feel like a disqualified person

"Let's not do this... I think it's unwise to put yourself in physical pain just to avoid something so insignificant."

"..."

But there's nothing wrong with this.

"It's okay. I'm feeling better. I should be feeling better in the next few days."

"Really? If I really can't hold on..."

"Yeah." "Of course, I won't force you."

"That's good..."

"By the way, can I take another look at that album of yours?"

Chapter 5: If the direction is wrong, just turn around

It seems too early to assert that the situation is getting worse.

When I woke up today, I noticed that not only my mouth was hurting, but my throat was also hurting. If I could barely open my mouth and utter a few words yesterday without proper pronunciation, today I could only utter indistinct syllables.

It seems like things are only going to get serious... But it's hard to communicate with others using words, so it doesn't seem to make any difference.

"Aren't you eating at home today?"

"Ah."

After answering like this, I quickly walked out of the house.

. . . . . . . .

In the end, I ended up skipping class. There wasn't much difference between just sitting around doing nothing and skipping class, but well... as long as I didn't get caught, it was fine.

I'm not really worried about the consequences of being caught. I've experienced both criticism and suspension... Hmm, I always feel like this is something only delinquents would experience.

All in all, I have nothing to worry about.

"..."

As expected, I arrived first.

Looking at the deserted pavilion, I felt a strange sense of accomplishment. I picked a random spot to sit down and pulled out the canned food from my pocket. It was originally meant to be the rations for the creature at home, but considering its current size and its usual behavior, reducing its rations a bit wasn't too much of a stretch.

"Meow--"

“…”

She arrived quite punctually. I think I forgot to ask her yesterday how long she had kept this guy... Well, based on what happened yesterday, I don't think I can ask any questions.

I couldn't help but think of how she asked me my name yesterday.

"Then write your name on the palm of my hand."

"Um?!--"

I had no idea what she was thinking. So to avoid this happening again, I remembered to bring my phone with me today. That way, it wasn't just her asking me questions; I could also ask my own.

"....Um."

“Ahahahahaha, it’s so itchy…”

“…”

It was you who asked me to write on my palm.

"What? Your name is too complicated, isn't it? It's just a surname, but it has so many strokes."

I always feel that even if she stares at my fingers, she won't be able to tell what I am writing.

"..." I'm really sorry.

"Hmm... the first word is Yi, right?"

"Yeah." I nodded, and when I was about to write the second word, she suddenly withdrew her hand.

"That's all, I'll call you Xiao Yi from now on."

"..."

We are about the same age, why should I be called Xiao Yi? I don’t want it.

"You're shaking your head... Don't you like this name?"

"Yeah." He nodded decisively.

"In that case...then I'll call you Ai."

“.....”

Today I must make her change that rather silly-sounding name and tell her my full name.

However, Xiao Hei had already eaten nearly half of the can, but that guy still hadn't come.

"Huh?"

Xiao Hei, who was eating canned food, was suddenly picked up by me. With a little meat crumbs on the corner of his mouth, he looked at me with a puzzled expression.

"Um..."

You should eat a little slower.

. . . . . . . . . .

“I didn’t even order food today…”

He still helped me to grab a seat as usual, but now I just took a bottle of water and sat opposite him. It seems that I should not have taken up a seat in this situation.

"Because now, apart from drinking water, my throat feels as uncomfortable as swallowing a fishbone when I eat anything else," I explained.

"Is this the legendary... a fishbone stuck in the throat?"

His first reaction was this.

"Now is not the time to reveal your limited knowledge."

"Well, why don't you go to the hospital? Eating is important."

"If you don't eat and only drink water, you can survive for many days."

"Wow, are you serious..."

"Hmph..." I didn't want to respond to that. I really wanted to eat, but the situation simply didn't allow it. So, sitting in the cafeteria was pure torture for me. Honestly, I was actually starting to envy cats. Perhaps just being able to eat a meal in peace was the truest happiness.

"By the way, you skipped class again today... What on earth did you do?"

"Nothing, just a quick turn."

"Wow, you're still hanging around during class when the dean might show up out of nowhere. So... you're just like me."

“…”

Actually, it was just to meet someone, explain some things, and ask some questions.

"Probably not tomorrow."

"...That's right. One or two times is fine, but doing this every day is definitely not okay. It's better to stay in the classroom."

"You don't even need to tell me that."

Actually, I still want to figure out some things.

Because that person didn't seem to come today, or maybe he came after I left... In short, we didn't meet. So I'm not going to pin my hopes on this kind of accidental encounter anymore.

"I'm leaving now."

I just flashed it in front of him and then I was ready to leave. It was really a very sad situation to be surrounded by all kinds of food but unable to eat.

"Wait until I finish eating..."

"..." After meeting my resentful eyes, he suddenly realized something.

"Uh, well...never mind that."

It probably doesn't matter if I'm at a loss.

I think this is the first time I've done something like this.

But I always feel like I have done something similar somewhere.

I stood on the rooftop, gazing at the nearby buildings. Then, seemingly lost in thought, I realized I was thinking about something, but in reality, I was thinking about nothing. I drank a lot of warm water to satisfy my rumbling hunger. This situation seemed to have happened before, but I couldn't remember when.

Maybe I have experienced a similar scene in a dream, the so-called déjà vu or something.

“Gurgle—”

My stomach was still grumbling in protest, but there was nothing I could do in this situation.

"I want to eat..."

This thought unknowingly dominated most of my thoughts. It must be said that if a person's most basic needs aren't met, it's truly a terrifying thing. As the saying goes, small things add up to big things. Even if something doesn't seem to have any immediate impact, over time... it can still have serious consequences.

Well, this isn't a reflection on my own actions. Quite the opposite. I don't think the situation has reached a point where I can reflect on it. I'm more interested in other people's affairs than my own.

"..."

However, if you only care, then that's all you care about... anyone can do that. So, rather than caring, it's more like... an action taken to change something.

“…”

This shouldn't be considered an exaggeration.

Chapter 6: I'm at a loss, but it probably doesn't matter

"Come to think of it, you're not that annoying when you don't speak." Lin Quanchuan suddenly said this to me during lunch break.

“…”

As the saying goes, "Trouble comes from the mouth." In other words, speaking less can indeed reduce the chances of getting into trouble... unless you're actively seeking it. While I'm passive right now, a man in silence naturally exudes a certain depth. In other words, maybe I'm more handsome now because I don't talk.

"Um..."

At least this sentence was not meant to mock me, so I accepted it calmly.

"Hmm, I even have the illusion that it's hard to tell if you exist. Could it be that apart from talking, there's nothing else about you that people care about?"

"..."

What exactly does this sentence mean?...

"Hmm... What a shame. No matter what I say, you can't even offer a rebuttal. You're so useless. You can't even entertain people right now."

With a slightly regretful expression, she looked towards me with a frown.

"..."

OK, I roughly understand.

She seemed to be just rubbing salt into my wounds, as was her wont. But it didn't really matter to me... After all, I knew she wasn't a bad person, and her words weren't meant to be malicious. Someone else might not have taken it that way... So, I'm a pretty generous man, after all.

"Why can't you go see a doctor and get better quickly? Having this one-sided conversation with you feels like talking to a wall."

"......"

That's too much. Even if we have to compare, a sculpture would be more appropriate. It feels like she's talking a lot more today than usual. Is the volume of our conversation constant? Because I can't speak, so she's doing all the talking?

“…”

However, all I could do was look at her with a helpless expression.

"...Can you please give me some reaction?"

Reaction?... I wanted to speak. However...

"Um, cough cough cough..."

Most of the time, opening my mouth triggers a series of coughing fits, and people who don't know me would think I have some serious illness.

"Wow, okay, okay, I won't force you."

"..."

What is this guy talking about? He has already said something quite unreasonable.

"Haste makes waste. It'll be all right soon."