I, who advocate giving up, feel like a disqualified person

“So, I decided to quit.”

".....Um?"

Thinking I didn't hear clearly, she emphasized and repeated it.

"...After realizing what I really am...I plan to never join the club again. Of course, I won't appear in your sight anymore..."

"..."

"So, could you please forgive me..."

"..."

Chapter 10: Confusion

The position was finally vacant.

I don't know how much she considered before giving up. Whatever mental struggle she went through before reaching her conclusion, the teacher summed it up in one sentence.

"That guy won't come here anymore."

That's it.

No one cares why. Even if they do, it's just a casual discussion... I'm afraid the final conclusion will be a simple "my level is too low to persist."

"..."

Why is that?

In the quiet classroom, the only sound is the rustling of pencil tips against paper. As I unconsciously wave my pencil, the image I'm supposed to copy gradually takes shape on the paper.

Is it so easy for her to repent, or is she really the kind of person who is good at reflecting on herself and admitting her mistakes?

Not sure...

My understanding of her is limited to the face of a perpetrator and the image of an apologist that suddenly appeared today.

"It doesn't matter."

In the end, these words were never spoken.

Is it a sin...

When she said to me "Get out of here" with tears in her eyes, I felt a little pleasure in my heart.

"You should have left long ago."

For some reason, I felt the urge to say this out loud. But realizing it would be excessive, I held it back.

Leaving without saying anything might be the best thing I can do.

"...ah..."

It is indeed a very strange thing.

. . . . . . . . .

“It’s been almost a week…”

When I was collecting the homework, Lin Chenruo, who had handed in the homework, mentioned it to me intentionally or unintentionally.

"...You're such a bother."

Actually, it’s only been about five days since then... Well, the progress should be a little faster from now on. After all, the conditions I have now are sufficient.

And...the effect has already begun to show.

"Didn't a girl come to apologize to her today?"

"...What does that have to do with you?"

“…”

Maybe I really overestimated this kid's intelligence. But that's fine. I don't want to explain any more.

"Yes, yes, it has nothing to do with me."

As I said this, I reached out to take the homework book that needed to be collected...but she didn't seem to want to hand it over to me, the official vice-class monitor, and she held a corner of the book tightly.

"You're the guy who only knows how to run around with the squad leader every day. Why don't you just turn your stupid head and look back?"

"...Muyu? Ah...you mean the wooden head?"

Even this can be wrong...

"It's almost the same! How long are you going to dwell on something that doesn't matter at all?"

"...That's what I wanted to say."

I always feel like she's the one who's always worrying about things she shouldn't be worrying about. She clearly doesn't need to worry about it, but she's still trying to cause me trouble all day long... I've invested a lot of time and energy in this.

It's just that no one noticed.

"That's enough. Watch behind you."

"..."

I almost knew what she was trying to say. I was in the back row... which meant she was asking me to look at Ye Hui, who was in front of her, behind me.

"...Um."

Turning around, I found her sitting in her seat...as if she had been in a daze since then.

"Don't you think you should do something?"

His brows furrowed slightly.

"All I know is that it's time to grab my homework and head to the office."

I've already wasted a lot of time because of her...

"She's in a daze."

She pointed in Yehui's direction.

"Heh...I often daydream too, why don't you seem to care about me?"

"Who cares about a loser like you?"

"Ah."

A guy who can't stand a joke.

"Okay, okay, I'll find a way."

After saying this, she took her feet off my instep.

"Really? Why didn't you just say that at the beginning?"

"...I think it would be better for you to persuade her yourself at this time." While she wasn't paying attention, I directly put the homework book in front of her. "Besides, weren't you very disgusted with me getting close to her before?"

"...Hmm."

I was actually stunned.

"...Don't be silent when you shouldn't be silent."

Could it be that she has never thought about this problem? Never mind, I don't want to waste any more time talking to her.

"That's really troublesome... Then I'll go find her after school and ask her about it. Is that okay?"

"Ah."

She finally nodded steadily.

..............

"Are you... a little, confused or something?"

As I walked out of the club room, his voice rang in my ears. But it wasn't the important thing, it was the question he raised.

"Sleepy...confused?"

As usual, he and I walked to the exit of the teaching building.

"Hmm... well, I saw that scene. It was a bit far away, but I could tell it was an apology."

“Oh…I see.”

After all, she apologized to me suddenly, and even though I quickly took her to a place where few people passed by...but after seeing the scene that just happened, anyone would be confused.

"And I saw your expression when you were drawing. It was a completely different expression from before..."

"Well!"

It was a completely unintentional movement, and I stopped.

"You... who are you..."

Since when did you start looking at me...

"Hmm? Are you wondering when I started watching you at the door?" He didn't seem to be avoiding the question. "It seems like it was a few days ago... Anyway, there was nothing to do after the event."

"That's it..."

"Is it because of that girl apologizing to you? You two are very close... or do you hardly have any contact?"

It wasn't until he asked that I realized I hadn't told him anything about...what had happened to me.

"...Well, we're just...classmates in the same club."

If possible, I actually don't want to admit that she's my classmate. It wouldn't be too much of a stretch to erase her from my memory... but when introducing her to others, I have to give her a relatively friendly name.

"...not a very good relationship?"

"Um..."

He hesitated a bit, but nodded in confirmation.

"So, the vacant seat in your club classroom is hers, right?"

"Eh... Yeah."

Such careful observation...By the way, did he have this habit before?

Thinking of this, I couldn't help but look at his face. It was still the same familiar face...but I felt that something was missing.

Ah, it seems like...that kind of look, that lazy look.

"So... you think she left because of you, so you feel guilty?"

“…”

That shouldn't be the case.

"Isn't it?"

"Probably... not."

The slight breeze of cold wind reminded me that I had stepped into the street outside the school.

"If that's not the case... well, I can't think of any other reason." He looked away, unconsciously tightening his scarf. "Anyway, don't let this affect your mood. Since it's someone else who's apologizing... that means you didn't do anything wrong."

Yeah, I didn't do anything wrong at all.

"...Um...Thank you."

This was the first time I faced him and I didn't know what to say.

"I'm not really grateful, I didn't do anything practical."

"No...it's actually a lot."

If I think back to the past, I was the first to notice his worries... and then took the initiative to guide him. But occasionally, it feels good to have him care about me like this.

"That's good."

A rare smile appeared on his face.

But I don’t know if it was my illusion...that expression felt very strange for a moment.

"The state..."

I called out his name unconsciously.

"Huh? What's wrong?"

But the reaction is still the same as usual.