I, who advocate giving up, feel like a disqualified person

"Um..."

I remember she was going to talk about that... the reason for something I'd brought up just to get her attention. Well, honestly, it was just something that happened to that guy, and even though I have memories of it, I'm not really interested in the reason itself.

"Then don't force yourself."

As I said this, I turned my gaze to the books on the table, ready to pick up one to read to kill the little time left for club activities.

"Oh."

For some reason, the action of picking up the book suddenly stopped because of her words.

"...How come this sounds like concern, but it's actually full of sarcasm?"

"..."

I swear that what I said did not contain the meaning she understood... No matter what, I would not do anything as troublesome as to upset this young lady in front of me.

I guess it was probably because she was such an active young lady that she got so caught up in the role that she had such thoughts. In other words, what she was thinking about most was how to mock me with words.

Ah, what an easy-to-understand personality.

But what should I do in this situation... Should I imitate the guy from before... It always feels a bit uncomfortable and troublesome.

But it wouldn't be nice to say nothing.

"Hmm... In that case, let's talk about it next time."

"..."

"Come to think of it, there's something I can't figure out. If you don't mind, please discuss it with me for a while." The best way to solve a problem is to raise the next question. This is what is called forcibly changing the subject.

“…Tsk.”

“…”

"Forget it, if you have something to say, just say it." He did seem a little angry. Although he didn't object to what I said, he still picked up the book in his hand... It seemed that he didn't want to listen carefully.

Could it be that... this result is my fault?

"If you mention it... it's something that isn't taken seriously. It's either commonplace or something that can't be changed. In short, it's been ignored by most people, or even tacitly accepted."

"..."

"Although the possibility of this happening to the young lady is not high...but I still want to ask a little bit."

Very small movements.

After hearing what I said, she turned her eyes towards me, then quickly looked away.

"...during your not-so-good school days, were you ever excluded or...bullied?"

"...What do you think?" His tone was cold.

"Ah." He scratched his cheek unconsciously after realizing something, "Yeah."

I actually overlooked that, in fact, she and I are both people who are not very approachable. It's just that I have no eye-catching characteristics and a low-key style, while she is simply because of her personality.

"Then change it... just being bullied or something, right?"

"...I don't have those kind of uneducated people around me, so it's rare for me to come across them." After a brief pause, "Since you're asking this for no reason... Could it be that you were beaten up?"

"That's not the case."

"Ah, that's a shame," she sighed. "I thought someone would step up to rid the people of this evil, but in the end... a pest like you is allowed to survive."

"If you put it that way, I actually have nothing to refute."

Redundant... maybe that's what it is.

"You... at least give a rebuttal."

It seems that she still wants to tease me a few more times.

"Refutation isn't really important. I just want to know... if you haven't done anything, and yet you're being bullied for no reason... what should you do? Should you endure it silently, or fight back?"

Having said that, no matter how hard someone struggles, it's useless for someone who's already isolated. And I have reason to believe that, given her personality, she wouldn't want to hurt anyone else.

"I don't know. Maybe resistance would be better."

She still gave an answer.

"...Yeah, that's right..."

People don't always take the initiative to understand what's happening to others. They just rely on their own imaginations and assume that everything that happened to them applies to people in similar situations. This is what's called arrogance, and it's impossible to say for sure whether it's good or bad.

“So, after all, I encountered…”

"Nothing, I just happened to think of it." I shook the phone in my hand, "Just a few words that caught my eye..."

The bell signaling the end of the club activities rang.

"Well..."

Rinquanchuan seemed to have something to say, so he had to give up.

"I have to go now."

"Well, see you tomorrow."

. . . . . . . .

“The weather is getting colder…”

He sighed slightly like this, and the white air exhaled from his mouth drifted away in the cold air.

"Yes."

Just hearing the voice, I already had a very gentle face in my mind. The girl next to me was such an incredible person to me.

"...The rain has stopped too."

Come to think of it, I actually quite enjoy rainy days. There's nothing to do, and adults who don't want to get wet become lazy. People in a hurry to get to their destinations lower their heads and rush to their destinations... It feels like a lubricant, slightly speeding up the pace of a city that, to my eyes, seems rusty and slow.

What does the city look like in the eyes of others?

"Um, Sheji. Can you stop for a moment?"

"Ah...hmm."

Finally, he stopped.

I couldn't help but change the subject, quicken my pace... just to avoid talking to her. It wasn't because I hated her, but because of a difficult-to-explain mentality.

"What's wrong... You seem to be in a hurry. Are you in trouble?"

Trouble...?

“…”

How could you say such a thing?

Looking at her who was out of breath from quickly chasing me, looking at her who was so considerate yet was treated unfairly, my heart had never been disturbed... Obviously, she was in bigger trouble.

But, he didn't say a word to me.

Why exactly...

"No, maybe it's... the weather is too cold."

I responded by tugging at the scarf that was tangled around my collar.

According to my memory, that was the one she gave to that guy before...

"It makes you want to hide from the cold wind...or something."

In fact, it might just be the desire to escape that I've developed over the years.

"If that's the case, why didn't you say so earlier?" She seemed slightly relieved. "There should be hot drinks over there... Let's go get some milk tea or something to warm us up."

"...Um."

There is no reason to refuse.

It was a bit strange. I felt like I was being dragged along, unconsciously following her in a direction I had no idea she was going.

"...Tomorrow, things might change."

I said. This wasn't a murmur, but a statement of fact. Because starting tomorrow, I will change things in my own way...

"...Um?"

"I'm talking about the weather." Seeing her puzzled expression, I explained, "It shouldn't be this cold anymore."

"Yes," she responded, "Tomorrow, the sun probably won't be hiding itself like it is today."

"...No. That's not right..."

"Huh? Did something go wrong?"

"It's not a big deal. There's no need to be nervous." I smiled and waved my hand. "After all... the sun is always there."

展伸

"It's a little... confusing."

“…”

That being said, maybe I'm just talking too much to myself.

A puzzled look appeared on her face. Although she didn't have any complaints, she still felt it was a bit rude.

After all, I'm not very good at flirting with women other than those around me... In this respect, I'm indeed not as good as my previous self.

"Ah, sorry."

Anyway, it’s better to apologize.

"No, no, no, I don't mean to blame you... I'm just a little confused by your behavior today." She seemed to be correcting something, looking a little nervous. "Ah, if you think about it, it's not just limited to today... I've been acting a little different for a few days now."

"...Um..."

This is normal, right? Rather, it's abnormal that no one else has mentioned my changes...after all, they're so obvious.

"Well, although it's very rude... I still want to ask, why do you tie your hair like this?"

"..."

Sure enough, I still care about this. Well, most people probably have this doubt.

"Well, saying it's just a change of mood is a bit far-fetched." After a moment's thought, "If I were to explain it, it would probably be something like a 'reminder'."

"remind?"

"It means restraint... or self-reliance."

After all, tying up hair used to represent a man's adulthood, and he should have the independence and constraints of an adult... But to me, it's probably just a clumsy imitation.

"...Hmm, although it's strange, but it's reassuring that you think this way, Sheji."

"..."

In other words, was I someone who didn't know how to control myself before? Or, in the eyes of others... specifically, her, I was actually someone who was worth worrying about...?

"Actually, there's no need to worry that much." As mentioned before, it's just unnecessary.

"What are you talking about? Of course I'm worried. Even though it's already like that..."

"Looks?" Despite my hesitation, I quickly realized what she was worried about...

"That was just... a momentary low mood, don't take it seriously..."

"Oh, I see." As I said this, I noticed that she had stopped walking, so I stopped with her.

"So, what flavor of milk tea do you want?"

...incredible.

Right now, I should be in the cold wind of near-winter. But looking at her face, I feel... like I'm lazily leaning against a window, caressed by the slanting sunlight.

"Hot coffee would be nice."

Chapter 8: Extension

Illuminating all things.