I, who advocate giving up, feel like a disqualified person

"...You have so many maps..."

I couldn't help but complain.

The vibrant scenery before your eyes

"Well, if you must say, I do enjoy looking at maps," she replied nonchalantly. "Besides, I've only pulled out two maps so far, so please don't make such a fuss."

"Huh... okay okay."

For those with a keen imagination, the experience of looking at a map is probably different from that of others. It's like someone who enjoys reading can experience different flavors when reading. Well, it's always hard to say.

After putting those thoughts aside, I focused on recording her current movements. Although I called them movements, the footage captured her simply walking on a sparsely populated street. In my opinion, there was nothing worth recording.

"Well, say something."

I suddenly suggested.

At first, I didn't understand why I said that, but then I suddenly realized that in that moment, a scene from a variety show appeared in my mind. Hmm... It seems a bit stupid.

"Talk? What to say..."

She didn't show any disapproval, but instead asked me back with great interest. In other words, if I had brought it up, she would have told me...

"...You asked me to record this so you can show it to someone...so if you want, please introduce yourself or me, the person filming it."

If it's well preserved, maybe it will be preserved as an expansion pack in the next century... or something. Well, that's probably unlikely.

"Introduce? What's there to introduce about a mere loser?"

“…”

I really have nothing to say.

"And this isn't meant to be shown to anyone. That's a dangerous thought... You usually don't care about other people's affairs and don't want anyone to interfere with you, but now you're thinking about filming a video and showing it to others... Oh, are you the kind of person who secretly craves attention?"

"certainly not."

I was simply thinking from her perspective. However, even if I said it was her perspective, it was ultimately just my own unrealistic statement.

"Don't think too much, just catch up quickly."

She urged, leading me to the other side.

"What's this time..."

I really can't imagine what strange place her train of thought will lead me to.

"Um..."

She suddenly stopped and patted my wrist holding the camera.

"...What are you doing? The camera is shaking."

I am very confused about this situation.

"You were holding on tight when we were recording just now... I just wanted to make sure you wouldn't drop the device for any reason."

It seems that she cares about it very much... After all, such high-tech products are usually very expensive.

"Don't worry, it won't fall off as long as I'm determined. It's like it's stuck to my hand... unless you say you don't want me to pay for it if it's broken."

In fact, this is what I have been worried about all along.

"Oh, I almost forgot to tell you, if you break it you'll have to pay for it."

“....” I knew it.

"So, where should we go next?" After confirming again, I suddenly had a bad feeling in my heart.

“Hey hey hey…”

Um, this smile...

Chapter 7: The Scenery Dancing Before My Eyes

Facts have proven that the fear ingrained in the human heart is indelible. Just as herbivores instinctively fear carnivores, the very things humans fear have long since become vague over the course of evolution, only evoked by similar situations... Logically, it should be difficult for humans to live this kind of life. Yet, some people find it repulsive. While most people strive to survive, they seek near-death thrills under the guise of extreme sports.

While I don't have a favorable opinion of this sort of thing, I'm not in a position to make a casual comment. Life, which is only once, seems to have no reason to restrict others in how it should be spent, just like when it comes to money. Some people think money is important, while others find it less appealing.

Well, maybe life is like this too...

"...Are you okay?"

The camera that was originally in my hand is now in the hands of her owner, and the lens seems to be facing me... Although I don't want this embarrassing scene to be recorded, my current situation is like someone hit me on the head with a stick... In short, I am dizzy now, and naturally I have no energy to stop her.

"...well enough."

As I speak, I feel a slight queasy feeling in my stomach, like motion sickness. I think this feeling has rarely recurred since I became a homebody in junior high school... I had a similar experience about a year ago, but I want to completely forget it while my brain is still in a state of chaos.

"Your constitution is truly weak...it's only a few rides on a roller coaster that's turned you into this."

"Ahem... this isn't something that can be modified with 'just'... your Chinese is really bad, hahaha..."

This is probably what they call a forced smile.

One trip was already a stretch, but at her request, I accompanied her three times. And I paid for it.

"Look, I'm fine. You're a man, but is it really okay to act weaker than a girl?"

It sounded like a dismissive remark, but he didn't forget to gently pat my back while he was saying it. Would that really help relieve my discomfort? I'm not sure...

Well, maybe it's just a trivial psychological suggestion, but it's better than doing nothing.

"Well...gender equality...before you differentiate between genders, please first recognize the reality that we are all human, and everyone is different."

For example, physique.

"Okay, since you're not feeling well, let's stop talking." She sighed helplessly and placed the device next to me. "Just keep an eye on your things. I'll go get you some water... What kind of drink would you like?"

"...Whatever." This is the universal response.

"Then you better stay here and don't run around."

"...I'm in this state, where can I run to even if I want to..."

"That's right." She stood up and glanced at me with a worried look. "Then I'll leave."

"Um..."

I shifted my posture, leaning back against the bench and looking up at the sky with my closed eyes. I wondered if this would harm my eyes, because even with my eyes closed, I couldn't completely block out the sunlight... maybe it was too strong, or maybe my eyelids were just too thin...

“It’s so hot…”

He muttered to himself but did not open his eyes.

Under direct sunlight, an orange hue appeared before my closed eyes. It's a warm color, right? But alongside it, a chilling green. The two intertwined, creating a strange scene before my eyes. My art teacher, who rarely sees me, seems to have taught me this... Yes, to protect our eyes, our eyes generate a contrasting color when facing a dazzling color... It's a strange idea, but now it seems to be true.

...so magical.

How wonderful it would be if I could capture this kind of scene... I couldn't help but think. But this is probably unrealistic. At least at present, there is no technology that can fully record the scene produced by closing the human eyes. Besides, no one would care about such a thing, right?

But I'm puzzled... What exactly creates these pulsating lines? They never repeat themselves, and I never get bored staring at them. I can't guarantee I'll see the same thing the next time I open my eyes... How long will this last?

".....Um....."

I always feel...much more comfortable.

. . . . . . . .

"Hey, are you awake?"

“…”

He couldn't recall how he had managed to fall asleep in such a hot climate. Looking around, he realized it was already evening, with the temperature dropping slightly, and that he wasn't actually home, but rather quite far from town.

"...How long have I slept..." He rubbed his eyes and asked the guy sitting next to him, "Is it really okay not to go back now?"

Apart from some pain in his eyes, he felt very energetic.

"I'm afraid I won't be able to get back before dinner. If I want to get back before dark, I'll have to run a long way."

Although what he said sounded quite serious, he did not seem nervous at all.

"If that's the case, you should have woken me up earlier! Damn it..." He immediately stood up from the grass, slapped himself a few times, and started to walk back. However, the guy next to him was still sitting there.

"Hey, it's time to go."

He reminded her grumpily, but his body couldn't help but walk towards the guy. He was a little curious as to why the guy looked like he had been sitting there for a long time.

“I’m trying to record it.”

"...?"

This was a slope. He didn't know why, but it seemed only here that a huge drop in height appeared. Under the afterglow of the setting sun, he felt an indescribable feeling about this world.

Maybe that's the beauty.

"...You said, record it?"

He looked at the booklet in the guy's hand. What was drawn on it was not the sky and clouds he had imagined, but a dilapidated section of wall at the bottom of the slope in the distance.

"...What an ugly drawing." He temporarily forgot about hurrying home and looked at the drawing in the guy's hand with interest. "Where are those drawings you made before? Do you have them?"

"Are you interested?"

"...I'm not interested. I just want to know how bad you are." Although this was not what he really wanted to say.

"If I could, I'd like to record all of these scenes... but unfortunately, there's no way to learn it."

He couldn't see his expression at the moment, but he must be smiling bitterly, he guessed.

"It's okay, it's okay... I was just saying that."

"Don't comfort me. I don't actually want to paint." The guy stood up suddenly. "I want to record more than just these scenes."

"...?"

"Don't you want to know what I mean by history?" The man in front of me suddenly changed the subject. "If you don't mind getting scolded for coming home late, could you walk with me for a while?"

... "Just go."

Anyway, it's too late to go home now.

Those revealed and those hidden

In short, it was just a pile of rubble. Perhaps it was from an old house that hadn't been completely demolished, or perhaps it was just a random build by someone else... In short, what he saw before him was just a gray, dilapidated wall.

"What's this..."

He looked at it, then at the person beside him, his face full of confusion. Wasting time on something like this... No, it felt like the entire day had been wasted on something that wasn't even that important. Even at home, he didn't have much to do.

"What do you think it is?"

He didn't answer, as he thought it was just a pretentious remark. And this behavior made him feel inexplicably uncomfortable.

"...Hmm." However, he decided to answer. "I think it's probably just something someone casually built... It looks like a shack or something, or a house that's been abandoned for a long time."

"...So that's what you think."

The guy seemed to sigh. His tone was as if he had already foreseen what he was about to say. Perhaps it was because of this that he somewhat disliked the person in front of him.

"If it's forgotten, it might just be like this... Even if I told you this was once an ancient city wall, you probably wouldn't believe it, right?"

"Well..."

It was indeed so. He couldn't connect what he saw with the ancient battle walls...

"...No, if you put it that way, I can still believe it." He nodded hesitantly, "But it's really hard to tell. It's so shabby."

"Because no one cares about this kind of thing. These days are quite peaceful... It seems like this kind of thing no longer has any necessity. So-called historical relics should be of the same value as handed-down porcelain, but it's become like this."

"..."

He didn't know what to say. He just stared at the guy beside him, trying to figure out what he was going to say next.

"Many people say, 'History is profound and needs to be passed down,' but is that really the case? To me, they're just repeating what others have said... Those around them who haven't even noticed it, can't possibly understand it."