I, who advocate giving up, feel like a disqualified person

If nothing had happened, I would have sat quietly in a corner, unconnected to anyone else, staring blankly at the sky outside the window. Perhaps I'd have caught a glimpse of her, exclaimed, "How beautiful!" and then forgotten her face in the blink of an eye. Since I'd never had any contact with her, I wouldn't have felt the loss I feel now.

"Uh... I mean... brother, do you really have any shining points?" Ye Jin obviously noticed my loss of mood, so he quickly changed to a word that sounded less harsh.

"No...I'm just a hindrance at best, otherwise why would I be sitting here?"

"Wow... What happened suddenly..."

"Nothing." I responded calmly, "I just suddenly realized where I am...that's all."

"...?"

Although Ye Jin was confused, he did not ask any further questions.

"Anyway, I'll still help her until the comic she collaborates on gets ranked."

after...

. . . . . . . .

[Perspective?]

At the moment when the ink bottle was about to fall over, my mind suddenly emerged with...not so pleasant memories.

“Oops—I’m sorry~”

Although this had happened many times before, I was almost used to it... However, at that time, I had already discussed with Shaji about creating a comic together, and I was trying my best to think about how to design the characters, so I didn't realize...

"Pah... Gurgle..."

The black ink bottle fell onto my desk from nowhere, and when it turned over, the cap rolled off, and the ink spread all over my sketchbook.

"!"

Despite a quick reaction, it was only enough to prevent the stain from getting on the body and other books.

"I'm so sorry I didn't notice you."

The guy who pretended to be surprised apologized hypocritically and walked away, leaving behind a simply cleaned desk and a sketchbook with most of the books stained by ink and unusable.

"Hey! What's wrong with you guys?!"

Although Xiao Lin still protected me as always...things had already happened.

"Really..."

And I have lost the mood to be angry.

"It's really... annoying..."

It was a long time ago, but I still remember it... It's just because Sheji almost knocked over the ink bottle. I don't want to see the ink spread out on the table and paper anymore.

so...

"sorry..."

Don't blame me for being too cold. Just leave me alone for a while while I paint...

A vague sense of unease

"I want to go back."

Ye Hui, who was walking down from upstairs, waved to Ye Jin and me who were sitting on the sofa and said, "See you tomorrow."

"Well, I'll take you back then."

It's getting dark.

"Okay."

She stood there quietly, holding her schoolbag in both hands, waiting for me.

Everything seems to be normal.

Chapter 19: Vague Disquiet

An unknown movie was playing on TV.

"..."

The general content is about a series of events that occur after a robot possesses human emotions.

"..."

After possessing so-called emotions, things that can generate emotional dependence, even if they themselves have no life, have special meaning to humans, and it does not seem to be an exaggeration to call them human beings.

"..."

In other words, even if a person is born as a human being, as long as he has no connection with others, no one can get the comfort he wants from him. Only after he dies accidentally or is killed by others will others realize that he is still a human being in the broad sense.

If you leave this world quietly, no one will care.

"..."

My thoughts were temporarily confused.

"elder brother..."

My elbow was touched, and then I looked at Ye Jin beside me. When she saw that I saw her, she immediately winked at me and asked me to look behind me.

“…”

When I turned around, I saw Yehui walking slowly down the stairs, and then his eyes met mine.

"..I'm leaving now~"

She gave me a smile that didn't look relaxed. I didn't know why, but I guess it was because of her creation.

"It's already dark outside." I glanced out the window and then stood up. "Then I'll take you home."

. . . . . . . .

"...How's the progress? Can we catch up?"

It took me a long time to ask this question.

"Well, although I'm a little tired, fortunately the progress has not fallen behind." Her tone was a little tired, but she still responded to my question with a smile.

"...If you're really tired, you don't need to come to my place tomorrow. That would save time, right? Besides, there's nothing I can do to help you."

If doing this is tiring and a burden to you, then don't consider my feelings at all.

"Hey? This isn't a big deal... and I'm not that tired, I just need to go back and have a good rest~"

"Is that so... Well, don't push yourself."

I stopped without permission.

The street lights on both sides of the road cast our shadows on the ground. They were originally intertwined, but now they were separated without any connection because of my unilateral stagnation.

"....?"

Yehui turned around and looked at me with some confusion.

"It's not far from your home. Your parents should be home at this time, right?"

I gave a less than stellar explanation.

"Ah... this is indeed..." She seemed to want to say something but hesitated, and ultimately chose not to refute me.

"So... I think it's better not to get any closer. It would be bad if we were seen and it would cause you trouble."

Keep your distance...that's about it.

"...That's right...that's right..." She slowly lowered her head, hesitated for a moment, and then waved to me, "Then, then I'll go back."

"See you."

I waved back.

"Um... tomorrow... I can still go to your house tomorrow... right?"

“If it helps you with your painting process, feel free to come anytime.”

If it's just to consider my feelings, then there's no need for that. I don't want to have any more illusions...

"Yeah...I know."

She turned away, leaving me with a slightly lost look on her face. Perhaps she had noticed something.

"...Hey, Yehui."

That was not my intention.

"Well?"

She turned around after hearing my shout.

"If you run into any trouble, be sure to tell me."

I just simply hope.

"No matter what, I will definitely help you."

................

what is going on.

"..."

Isn't this exactly what I wanted? To avoid hurting others, and myself. Surely, abandoning the ambiguous relationship and maintaining a certain distance would be the wisest decision? This is something I've always struggled to bring myself to do. And now that I've made up my mind, why do I feel this way again?

Hey... I don't really think I'm a heartthrob, do I? I think I'm so charming that girls will throw themselves at me? That's impossible... Even if they get close, why would they fall in love with me? In the end, I'll just realize I was just being delusional.

"Ah... trouble..."

For some reason, when I uttered these two words, I felt an inexplicable sense of familiarity in my heart.

"Trouble... so much trouble..."

He unconsciously put his hands into his trouser pockets, and when he wanted to take something out, he realized something because of the sudden pain in his right hand.

"Tsk..."

Not yet?

This is why I don't want to think. Even if I did, it wouldn't help. Reality is so complex and incomprehensible...so why am I still thinking?

If only I could stop thinking...

............

"I am back."

I have no idea how I managed to get back safely. When I think back to the walk I just took, it felt like I was facing a computer with multiple programs running. Thoughts kept coming to my mind, and I had no idea what I should be paying attention to... I didn't even pay attention to the situation in front of me. I simply walked home out of habit.

"We have a good relationship. He even sent me home personally."

Ye Jin took the opportunity to tease.

I guess she must have been planning to say this when I came back since I left. Waiting for me for so long must have been very difficult for her.

"It's...nothing." To be honest, I no longer feel anything about this matter.

It was only a short distance, but I felt extremely tired. So I collapsed on the sofa.

"The fact that she lets you send her home shows that she trusts you very much." She looked as if she had never seen the world before.

"...Maybe it's because I look so weak." I said, looking at my arms, which were not strong at all. "I can't do anything bad with this kind of character."

And his running performance seems to be not as good as Ye Hui's.

"That's not true. This kind of gentle attack is very effective on girls." Ye Jin smiled and shook his head. "It's not okay to be unconfident in yourself. Girls don't hate being treated gently."

"So... if a guy walks you home and is very gentle, does that mean that guy is worthy of being my brother-in-law?"

"Hey, stop talking nonsense!"

She retorted passionately.

What a terrible attitude! Is she really that unwilling to have a boyfriend? I won't tell her parents...

"In that case, then you shouldn't talk nonsense." I sighed, "And the reason I do this is because it's all I can do..."