I, who advocate giving up, feel like a disqualified person

We're leaving soon... No one will notice that someone is missing while the city is still waking up.

"Is it... Hui-san?"

"!"

In the darkness, a familiar voice came into my ears.

"Why... did you come?"

I lost my temper that day...

"...I'm sorry." That familiar apology...

"Why are you apologizing?"

"I... don't quite understand what it means to be a book."

He said this to me without much confidence.

Ah, that doesn't matter anymore. I was going to answer like this...

"But I can roughly guess what that sentence means to you."

why...

"So, I may not be able to meet your expectations."

What is this guy talking about... Why does he have to talk about it at this time...

His words brought back the memories I'd been suppressing. At that moment, I realized clearly that I had always been sad.

"But...how should I put it, Hui...Hui-san, you gave me a lot of advice, and even more valuable things...so I thought I could at least become someone close to you."

“…”

"I will try my best to become a writer. Just like you, my dream seems to be... the same as yours... but, that is to say..."

I ignored his explanation, it didn't matter anymore.

"You...really..."

As I said this, I felt my voice choke. Was I crying? I hadn't shed tears in a long time, so why would I shed tears at this moment?

"Are you...crying?"

"No..." He wanted to deny it, but found that the sound he made at this moment was not convincing at all.

"Did I...did I say something wrong?"

Yes, he did say something that made me sad...but I don't hate him.

"I'm... I'm sorry. I wanted to see you off... But... I know I was angry yesterday, but I still came... I'm... I'm sorry, I'm sorry... Maybe I shouldn't have come..."

Really, it doesn't look like he's here to say goodbye to me.

I lowered my head, just because I didn't want him to see my expression at the moment...it wouldn't look good with tears streaming down my face.

"You..."

He always looks dull.

You always seem to understand what I say, no matter if I bully you on purpose or act cold and arrogant towards you, you always act as if nothing happened.

To be honest, I'm a little worried.

Why do you always feel like it's all your fault?... Some of it is clearly my own fault. But, that's exactly why I like you.

I say to you, "Become a book," because...

Books are my favorite things.

It is also...something that carries the important agreement between my father and me.

It's something that belongs to me.

However, you probably didn't expect something so difficult to understand... He even came all the way to apologize. I really don't know what expression I should make.

"I really don't understand anything..."

Saying you can't become a book...isn't that just like rejecting me? Well, forget it.

Wanting to be a writer isn't bad either... It seems like that opinionless Haozi has become quite opinionated. I'm really looking forward to seeing your work one day. After all, you have such talent.

"Don't... let me down."

In a sense, becoming a writer is like becoming a book.

Probability of parallel intersection

After everything was ready, the search for the senior officially began, and the first thing to do was...

"I will be going out for awhile."

The parents, who had a rare holiday, were lying lazily on either side of the sofa. The air conditioner was on, but they were both covered with a blanket... If they felt cold, they could have turned up the temperature a bit.

"Be careful on the road." This is the advice from my mother.

"Are you going on a date?" Dad asked.

"I'll keep an eye on it, but not for a date."

After a brief response, I set out on my journey to find my senior... If Senior Su's information was correct, it would take me about 40 minutes to walk under the scorching sun to get there... If I hadn't met that guy, I would be heartlessly playing cards at home... in the hotel.

"Your choices will change the fate of certain people and even affect the direction of the city and the story."

I suddenly remembered a sentence when the game was loading. Although it was not very detailed, the general meaning was this: As the protagonist, I have the ability to change many things. My actions are not known to most people, but they can affect the fate of many people.

Although I don't have that kind of mission or responsibility in reality, I'm undoubtedly still contributing. And who knows what I'm contributing to? Just like whether history is altered by a single individual, the individual's influence and the inevitable course of history are no longer distinguishable. No one can truly fathom the number of people who silently sacrifice for a stable life.

Now, I understand why so many people enjoy games with a high degree of freedom and branching plots. If you can treat the protagonist's life as your own, being able to start over, make new choices, and even do whatever you want... isn't that great?

Chapter 15: The Probability of (Pseudo) Parallel Intersection

[Dinglong——]

As the notification sounded, a steady stream of cool air wafted out of the convenience store... I was truly lucky to find one on the way. After all, I wasn't very familiar with the road conditions in the direction of my senior's house, and I expected vending machines at every intersection, but I couldn't find any.

"...call..."

I stood by the soda fountain for a long time, pretending to be browsing, but in reality, I was just trying to enjoy the cool air. After much deliberation, I finally opted for ice cream to cool off. It was a long walk to my senior's house, and I felt...wrong if I didn't buy something.

After making my selection, I walked to the counter to pay. Just as I was about to pay, a box of chocolate, cream, and strawberry ice cream suddenly appeared at the checkout area.

"Excuse me, please pay for me."

After a familiar voice flashed by my ears, the numbers on the cash register display jumped and the price of the product that was not selected by me was added.

What's going on... Even if it looks like you know each other, you can't just act without asking.

"..."

I looked at the cashier, and he looked at me calmly. After a moment's hesitation, he asked, "Excuse me, do you want to pay by card?"

"No, no, no..." I waved my hands quickly and took out my wallet from my pocket.

The development of things is really inexplicable.

......................

"Oh, I'm so sorry~ I thought I brought money, but I forgot to change clothes when I went out today. Luckily, I have a reliable junior here~"

"It's okay, it's just a small matter."

I was a bit surprised to run into Senior Lu Yunzi. After all, girls wouldn't want to go out in this weather. However, she was dressed like she was going out. The combination of a blue shirt and denim shorts was stunning. Her tall figure exuded a mature, feminine charm... well, she didn't look like a high school student at all. No wonder the cashier didn't ask any questions... maybe she thought she was doing me a favor.

Maybe I mistook her for my sister?

"Is your home nearby? Why haven't I met you before?" The senior student asked me while unpacking after going out.

"...Actually, I came here to look for someone...In that case, your senior's house is nearby?" I suddenly noticed that we were walking in the same direction.

"Yes, it's on the road leading back." She pointed backwards. "By the way, your senior Li Du's home is also on that road."

"Uh...oh..." I nodded with the popsicle in my mouth.

As expected, they have known each other since childhood. It seems that they both like to transmit not-so-important information to others.

"By the way, Sheji, you just said you were looking for someone... If you don't mind, tell me that person's name. If they live nearby, I might be able to help you find them."

"Ah... well..." I thought about it and told her, "The person I'm looking for is very familiar to my senior sister, because that person is Senior Sun."

"Oh, what a coincidence." He said with a slightly surprised tone.

"I was just looking for him."

..........................

I once imagined a story where a man and woman, strangers to each other, meet in a dream. After they understand each other, they develop feelings for each other. Then, they both want to find each other... In short, it's a deeply moving story, at least I've already been moved by my imagination.

However, this idea, which I'd never shared with anyone, actually collided with a recently released movie. The protagonists are both complete strangers, each developing feelings for the other and wanting to find each other. But experience is always an advantage... The body swap is definitely more dramatic than meeting in a dream, and the meteorite crisis and timeline shift definitely trumped my naive concept.

It was at that time that I vaguely realized that the situation of the new generation of creators was actually extremely embarrassing.

Thousands of years have passed since the advent of language, and the world has become a diverse place, with a population of billions. Everyone has their own unique thoughts, and there's no reason why their ideas wouldn't resonate. And when it comes to writers alone, there are countless, both famous and unknown... So, when it comes to creative material, a sense of déjà vu is more or less inevitable.

However... I don't know if it's because readers nowadays are more conscious of copyright or because they've seen too many ups and downs, but they don't seem to like new works that have even a hint of similarities to classics of the same genre... Ah, if that's too complicated, you can also simplify it by saying "there's not much material left for young authors" or... "there's no material left."

Well, the purpose of elaborating on this matter is not to complain. If I have to say it, it is more like an exclamation... Although people cannot fully understand each other, they will still have some intersections under occasional circumstances.

However, people who have some connection with each other... probably still have difficulty understanding each other. Isn't the senior student in front of me the best example...

"......" I couldn't help but look at Senior Yun Zi beside me.

"What's wrong? Is there something on my face?" After noticing that I was looking at her, she asked me nervously.

"No...I think I saw it wrong..."

Speaking of which, Senior really likes Senior. But Senior is probably thinking about the person who once influenced him... Judging from her current situation, she probably still doesn't know what happened to Senior.

"..."etc.

"Learn, learn, learn...Senior!" I suddenly became nervous when I realized that I might have accidentally entered the Shura Field.

"Uwaa ...

Because my tone was nervous, she seemed to have misunderstood that something had happened. When she responded to me, she looked around as if there was someone suspicious approaching.

"No...it's okay, it's just that...what are you looking for, Senior?...Hey~"

I always feel a little embarrassed for scaring my senior.

"You little bastard..." She breathed a sigh of relief and then reached out and grabbed my ear, "You're so jumpy, you're trying to scare me to death!"

"No, it's... the weather is too hot! Yes, that's it." I couldn't tell the truth. After all... the senior sister left a very good impression on me, so I didn't want to see her sad because of this kind of thing.

"Even the senior is trying to fool me. You're really getting bolder and bolder." After gently shaking my ear, she let go of my hand and said, "Why are you asking this?"

"...Just asking." Ah, what a lame thing to say.

"You're really straightforward." She grumbled briefly before saying anything else. "It's just a simple book borrowing... Your senior has a huge collection."

“Ah…oh…”

It seems that the senior is not going to take the initiative, while the others are clearly playing hard to get. Oh no, why do I feel like my position has subtly changed?

"What's with that reaction? Oh, you're just doubting me." The senior student seems to get nervous when it comes to things related to her seniors... How can someone with this kind of personality take the initiative in the love field?

"..."

Not knowing how to react, I could only stare at her with wide eyes and wait for her subsequent reaction.

"Don't let your imagination run wild. I don't have any...special thoughts. Don't think that just because you guessed I like...like Haozi, you can just speculate about my actions." The blush on her face wasn't from the scorching sun, but from her reluctance to reveal her feelings easily...and her reserve as a woman. "So don't feel burdened. I don't think you're a nuisance."

I didn't say anything, you said it all yourself. And it definitely made me feel like I was in the way, didn't it? Am I really that in the way?

"Well..." I didn't know how to respond.

"Come to think of it, I haven't asked you for the reason yet." After calming down a bit, she turned to me and said, "Why did you come to see Haozi? To borrow a book or to ask questions... If you didn't bring a book, it shouldn't be a problem... Could it be to discuss a script or something?"

...My guess is...

"How should I put it...various reasons." I scratched my head. "Senior..."