I, who advocate giving up, feel like a disqualified person

"...If you can accept that, that would be great."

However, this is exactly what I cannot accept.

. . . . . . . . . . . .

Although I don’t believe in “what goes around comes around”, I do believe that if you want something, you have to pay the price.

Now it seems that I'm facing this situation... I don't seem to have paid anything. That's why I don't want to believe...

"There's no way I could be that kind of person."

Perhaps it's because I've labeled myself this way that I unconsciously deny myself... But I don't think there's anything wrong with that, because I've long understood that I can't rely on anyone...

Besides, I won’t consider these things until I have clarified the doubts in my heart.

........................

"Sheji Sheji, it's time to get up."

This time, Liu Yan's way of calling me to get up turned out to be normal.

"Oh...what time is it..." I rubbed my sore eyes...It seems that I didn't sleep well. It's really strange. I didn't sleep late yesterday.

"Five o'clock in the morning." He answered confidently.

"Then why did you call me up?!"

I don’t know if it’s because I’m in a bad mood after waking up, but I suddenly felt like hitting someone.

"Hey, don't be impatient, isn't there a saying... 'Have you ever seen Los Angeles at 2:30 in the morning?' I think that's what it says, right? While we can't see the night scene at 2:30 in the morning, we can definitely see what it's like in the morning at 5:00 in the morning."

"Although I don't remember it clearly, I'm sure it wasn't said like that." I yawned. "And I really hate getting up early... If you don't have a good reason, I'll beat you."

After saying that, he snapped his fingers.

"Oh... I told you not to be so violent... This isn't good..." He said, quickly backing away, putting some distance between me and him. "This is a rare ocean. Don't you want to see the sunrise?"

"..."

He actually ignored me so much, otherwise I could have just punched him...tsk.

"What's wrong... You look a little unhappy..."

You can tell from his expression... I must have been very angry.

"I'm actually quite surprised..." I said, pretending to be calm. "If I remember correctly, you rarely sleep in class."

"Well... this is indeed..."

"But why... didn't you learn geography well? You can't see the sunrise from the beach here. Even if you could, the morning fog would still obscure it. If you're hoping to see a scene from a TV show... you've been deceived."

"...Why is this happening..." He seemed surprised.

"This is the difference between ideal and reality. How can anyone watch a TV series if it's not well-made..." Don't you understand such a simple truth?

"......"

"Okay, I'm going to go back to sleep..." I actually wasted my precious rest time on these boring things...

"No, since we're all awake, how about going out for a walk together?"

"I don't have the leisure time. If you want to go, go by yourself!"

"No! It's a rare trip for me, and I haven't figured out the situation here yet. What's wrong with coming with me?"

"Go find Xiaoyou and ask her to go with you! I want to sleep."

"I won't give up!"

This is simply forcing me...

So I just covered my head with the quilt and ignored him.

. . . . . . . . . . . . .

After some persuasion and pushing failed, Liu Yan still went out alone.

"call...."

So I can finally come out and get some fresh air.

I hate things like morning jogging and morning exercises the most... How can I not sleep in during this rare holiday?

Although it is a bit embarrassing to sleep in at someone else's house...but as a person, you should never forget your original intention.

"........."

Ah... I can’t fall asleep after being tossed around like that by Liu Yan.

"Tsk... so annoying..."

No matter how I think about it, it's his fault... Never mind, I'll just play with my phone first... Oh, I forgot to charge it.

Feeling all kinds of bad...

After running to the bathroom to wash my face, I decided to go downstairs and take a walk outside just to give it a try...though I wasn't planning on walking far.

I could smell the aroma of food as soon as I went out, and met the housekeeper when I went downstairs.

"Good morning...Are you leaving?"

"Hmm...it's a rare opportunity to get up early, so I need to go out and take a look."

"Another guest just left... Did you guys make an appointment?"

"No...but it seems that there are many people who think the same as me." Who else besides Liu Yan has so much free time?

"Well, then... breakfast will be ready around seven. If possible, please come back by then."

"Yeah...I know."

. . . . . . . . . . . . .

Actually, I don't know what to do...

Come to think of it, the temperature is quite cool in the morning, so maybe a leisurely stroll wouldn't be a bad idea...

"Hey! Are you coming out to play too?"

When I was about to go out, a figure suddenly appeared next to the sculpture.

"Oh ah...what are you doing here..."

At this time, Yehui was standing behind me, holding a board in his hand... Could he be drawing?

"You'll know just by looking at it."

As she spoke, she turned the board over to face me. There was the outline of a sculpture drawn on it... It turned out that she was really drawing.

"Come to think of it... you once said you wanted to draw this place, didn't you? Could it be that you started doing it yesterday?"

"No... not really. I just suddenly thought of it today, so I decided to draw on a whim. I happened to have my sketchpad with me." She sounded a little embarrassed. "Maybe it's just a habit. Whenever I come across something I want to draw, I have to find a way to draw it."

"...That's great! I wish I could have this kind of determination in doing things."

It's a pity that even writing a novel requires supervision...

"I think you are quite decisive when doing things, Sheji..."

"No way, I'm always considered a severe procrastinator..." Although he said that, it seemed that Xiaoye was the only one who felt that way.

"Haha, that's probably because you haven't encountered anything you absolutely must do, Sheji." She said with a smile, "Although I'm not always so decisive, I'm still very capable when I need to be decisive."

"Oh... Really... I don't remember that."

You're not just trying to fool me...

"Really? Look... last time I was punished... ah, when I was running, it was easy to surpass those people and get first place."

“…”

I know it's well-intentioned...but I'm still a little hurt.

Troubles must be told

"Hey, Sheji."

An incredible sound appeared. Unlike usual, I couldn't tell the direction of the sound's source, but I knew very well who that person was.

...How could she be here...

"Sheji?" She seemed to see that I didn't say anything, so she called me again.

"I..."

I can’t speak... I can clearly feel that my throat is very dry, but I think it’s because of nervousness that I can’t speak?

Simply saying the words "I am" is not enough.

I could only look at her quietly like that. I once wanted to see her again, but in my heart I was afraid of seeing her again.

It's probably just guilt, not fear.

Yes, the person I have let down...who else but her?

She still looks so peaceful, and I feel extremely at ease when I see her face... Although I have been forcing myself not to think about her since then... I still see her now, although I don't know why.

Good news... How do you see me now?

It's strange. She should have returned to school and shouldn't have seen me again...but why...

"Hey, do you remember?"

"....What..."

"Do you remember that song?"

When my mind was in a mess, she suddenly asked this question.

"That song..."

She still remembers it, yes, how could she forget it...after all, it was written by me.

"Of course..."

Ah, there it is...even though it's hard.

"Really? You're lying. You didn't listen at all?" She frowned, as if a little unhappy.

"I..."

I left right away at that time... To be honest, I might have really stayed there, even if it was just to watch from afar.

"I'm...I'm sorry...I..."

I might actually need to give you more attention... No, maybe it shouldn't be me.

"If you listened... maybe you would understand?"

She didn't mind my daze.

What does this mean?

"What...I wrote all the lyrics..."

"No~ It's different." She shook her head. "It's not at all what you imagined."

"You'll have to listen to it yourself to find out."

She suddenly came close to my face.

"That's what I want to convey."

What does it mean...what is she trying to convey?

If I asked her, would she tell me?

"That...I..."

"Sheji, it's time to get up!"

When I woke up, I saw Liu Yan, that guy who deserved a beating.