I, who advocate giving up, feel like a disqualified person

So he followed her upstairs.

"Did you have fun today?"

"....." After a subtle hesitation, "I guess...I'm happy."

"In that case, tomorrow must be happier than today."

"You don't have to tell me." She said, quickly opened the door of her room, and closed it quickly after entering.

I thought she was going to make a face and then close the door...but that wouldn't be her style.

"So..."

Go back to your room and rest.

. . . . . . . . . . . .

"Hey, Master, you're back~"

Liu Yan was greeting me with his upper body naked at this time.

"Which otome game plot are you imitating?"

If I didn't feel sorry for the snacks, I would have wanted to hit you with the bag in my hand.

"What are you talking about? I just took a shower. I got really burned by the sun today... You should go take a shower too."

"Oh, that's how it is."

It seems I'm overthinking...

"Then you can eat as much as you want."

....................

As I was soaking in the tub, I suddenly realized that I hadn’t been in the sea today.

.....................

"Creak~Creak~"

While I was frantically drying my hair with a dry towel, I kept hearing the sound of potato chips being crunched...so annoying.

"Can't you just be quiet while you eat?"

"Huh? That's how I usually eat. Besides, making noises is inevitable..."

"Please keep the volume down as much as possible..." I advised impatiently, then picked up the phone...Ah, here's Xiaoye's message, it was sent more than ten minutes ago.

"Sheji, please reply to this message when you see it."

"..."

It would be better to call directly...it must be about coding anyway.

So I dialed her number.

"Master, who are you talking to on the phone? Your parents or your girlfriend?" He was obviously not interested and was just asking casually out of boredom. There was no need to tell the truth.

"This is private...you don't have to be so curious." I replied to him unhappily, and then the call was connected.

"Sheji...are you done yet?"

"Well...ah...I guess so for now." It's just that my hair is not dry yet and I haven't changed my clothes.

"Well... meet me in the living room downstairs in a few minutes. I've asked the caretaker to let us borrow one. Bring your laptop with you; don't worry if it runs out of power."

"Okay... no... no problem." The subtext is "You can't get away"... I feel tired just thinking about working for several hours.

"Um, are you going out later?" I asked Liu Yan who was watching a video with headphones on.

"No, I'm tired... What? Do you want to go out?" he asked me.

"Well, I'm going to be out for a while and may be back late, so don't wait for me." As I said that, I started looking for a change of clothes and the notebook that I used specifically for playing games, watching anime, and writing.

"...What are you doing with your computer...to play offline games?"

"It's none of your business... Stop asking so many questions."

What the hell is offline black...

"I'm leaving."

"Well, have a good trip." He stared at the phone screen and waved at me.

Actually, it was just downstairs.

. . . . . . . . . . . .

言谈

There are many things I can no longer remember the reasons for, but I still do them. When I calm down and try to figure out the reasons, I find that I have no idea where to start.

Perhaps it is a futile task to try to trace the origins of such things.

Come to think of it, I seem to have long forgotten why I wrote what now seems like a worthless text. It seems that the only thing that supports me in writing now is the support of others. Deep down, I don't really yearn to write, because there are so many other things that are more interesting than this.

Having said that, since I have long realized that there are so many interesting things in the world, why did I choose to write something that I am not very interested in... I can't understand it.

"Ah... Such trouble."

Thinking of this, I couldn't help but sigh deeply, and then added a complaint that I could say without thinking.

"Stop complaining and meet the readers' expectations."

Xiaoye, sitting next to me, had also changed into casual clothes. She was browsing her phone in one hand and holding the snacks I just bought in the other... she looked very relaxed. I felt that her behavior, coupled with her words of persuasion, was completely unconvincing... I wanted to play games.

"I've already written... several lines. Can you please..."

"No." He was rejected before he could finish his sentence.

"It's better to finish it quickly. Sheji, you don't want to stay up late, right? It's not good for your skin or your body."

"...If you are sleepy, you can go to sleep. I will finish writing it obediently..." Actually, I just don't like the feeling of being forced. I will definitely finish writing it well if I relax... Maybe.

"No, Sheji, don't I know how little self-control you have? Even if I look a few years older tomorrow morning, I will make you make up the number of words you've delayed."

A noble sacrifice?! This dedication is truly terrifying.

"Okay, okay... I'm scared of you..."

From now on, don’t think about anything else. Just consider the rationality of the plot and express it in fluent voice. Then put yourself into the role you need to describe.

That’s right, I have always believed that character settings don’t need to be written anywhere specifically, and they don’t need to be presented to readers, because few people will specifically read them. The character image must be shaped by the plot and language.

It's not good to rigidly stereotype a character. When writing about a character, it's better to put yourself in that role and think about the direction. This is relatively simple. Maybe writing is a very simple thing for me, so I don't find it interesting.

But sometimes the characters are ruined... although that happened in previous novels.

"Are you writing properly? You look like you're just daydreaming." Xiaoye came closer to me a little worriedly, and glanced at the screen.

"Why did you only write so few words... Could you please be more serious..."

"...Actually, I'm already very serious." He was seriously distracted.

"Hmm? Really..."

She stared at me suspiciously.

We're so close, I can smell the fragrance on her body... It's a lingering scent, similar to shower gel, but it's not from Rinsenkawa's house. Could she have brought it herself? Anyway, it smells nice and reassuring.

"Why don't you say anything..."

"Ah... because I was thinking about what's going to happen next."

Actually, I was just distracted... It would be impossible not to be distracted in this situation.

"Have you made up your mind now?" She seemed very interested.

"Maybe... I've thought it through."

Chapter 35: Conversation

I don’t know how long it took, but I finally found that feeling... the feeling of devoting myself wholeheartedly to creation and being able to ignore many things.

For a while, the only sound in the living room was my typing on the keyboard, and occasionally there would be the crunching sound of potato chips being chewed...which was also made by me.

It's been a long time since I've had this experience.

“…”

After checking for typos, I called Xiaoye who was looking at his phone. Only then did I realize that my voice was a little hoarse because I hadn't spoken for a long time.

"Have you finished writing? So quickly...?" she said and looked at her phone again to confirm the time.

"It's not that fast actually...it's been several hours."

"I see..." She reached out and turned the computer screen to her side, "Just let me take a look."

"Ah."

..........................

"Not bad...very interesting. This way I can report back, even though I'm the one in charge of you..."

"Ah ha ha..."

Maybe my actions really bothered her.

"Looks like I'll have to stare at you like this next time."

"forgive me."

Seeing the smile on her face, I couldn't help but laugh too.

"Then... go back to bed. It's getting late."

She said this and stood up and stretched.

"Well, then I'll go back too." Go back and play a few games.

"See you tomorrow." She waved at me and went upstairs.

"Okay, see you tomorrow..."

I waited a little while until she came upstairs before I started packing.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . .

"...worn out..."

I sighed as I stretched.

"Hey, are you done?"

Suddenly, the figure of the senior appeared from the corner of the stairs.

"Ah... Hey... Why are you here..." How long did I stay there? Did he find out... I was writing a novel.

"For now... I'm done. Is there anything else?" I closed my laptop.

"What did you write...can you let me see it?"

"...It's a little embarrassing, so let's just forget it." I smiled at him embarrassedly.

"In that case, I won't force you." He said nonchalantly, "Although it's getting late, do you want to go out for a walk? You've been sitting here for a long time."

"...Yeah, okay."

. . . . . . . . . . . . .

"Please be sure to be safe. I will open the door for you when you come back." The butler said as he opened the locked door for us.

“Thank you…” “It won’t be long. I’ll be back after my walk.”

.....................

There are no facilities or entertainment venues nearby, and it feels good to walk on the road illuminated only by street lights.

"Huh...it's still quite cool at night." I couldn't help but stretch my body.

"It's okay now, but it will get cold after a while."